Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

Good job I don't have anything better to do than mong about on here otherwise I'd be pissed off by now.

- Phone Asda to complain
- Throw out all the rest of the fruit you bought at the same time
- Never buy fruit from Asda again

that is excellent advice.

it's getting creepier and creepier to watch this guy's hatred metastize -- he hasn't had to deal with all the other people he's complained about over the past year, so now his anger is focused like a laser on this one dude, and it's ugly, and everyone in the office is just watching in horror.

also he has like 150 (ok that's an exaggeration, it's only 15 or so ... ugh, 'only') t*dd mcf*rl*ne figurines of baseball players on his desk, and he and his roommates -- who he also works with, yet he has a picture of the three of them on his desk, even though when one of them isn't in the office they also turn their complaining rays on each other -- go to the toy store almost twice a week in order to stock up on more.

it's getting to the point where i want to say to him, 'you obviously hate working here since all you do is complain, so why don't you just quit and give your space as a full-timer to someone who actually DOES THEIR JOB CORRECTLY?' (there are a couple of part-timers who are really good at their jobs, but who can't get hired on full-time because of budget considerations ... bah.)

i dunno. somehow, i think that these dudes' crappy diet is at least partially to blame. maybe all that white sugar and white flour and bad cheese (you know, the type the cheapo pizza places use) is like turning into papier-mache in their systems, and their bodies are producing excess bile to compensate.

My boss is not so much annoying me as putting me in awe of her mighty piss-taking skills. She's doing a part-time MA (as am I) which takes her out of the office for a day a week. She can't afford to take time off though so she's making up the hours by staying late and skipping lunches etc. EXCEPT SHE'S NOT. She usually leaves before me, goes 'just for a coffee' with everyone else at lunchtime, and uses work time to go shopping and to galleries and to do assignments. And I thought I was being a bit cheeky using the odd quiet minute to read a journal article...

Oh and when I was on holiday she dumped a load of stuff out of her office and into my stationery cupboard which is overfull already. Her shelves are now filled almost entirely with personal books. Meanwhile I don't even have my own desk. Grr.

My response: "Mary, i've had campbells soup before. Yes its pretty good, now if you'll excuse me im eating my fucking lunch."

im el groucho today.

as she sees me eating my grilled chicken salad.."what kind of chicken is that?"

my response "the one with feathers."

Buddhist Woman: "I met your brother when I was down at the printers. He's very like you, even his voice."

Steve: "Yeah, he is. We say a lot of the same things too, so whenever I'm out with him I sort of know how he's going to phrase things and express himself."

Buddhist Woman (perfectly seriously): "Well, you see, you might have known each other in a previous life. You might have made a connection in a previous life."

Me: "Couldn't it just be that they're related to one another?"

Steve: "Errrrrrrrrrrr....."

Hi David

Have you got any plans for the computer I’m on at the moment? I’ll be gone in a month anyway ...

Hi Lucy

I think it will probably remain here at PDU (possession is nine tenths of the law!) as one of the assets of the University.

David

Hi David, you thick bastard, do you really think I'd try to walk off with a computer when my contract ends?

They're drying on paper towels in the office bathroom as we speak.

i used to sit opposite a dude with a paperclip collection. i wrote about it here once. fucked if i can find the thread now.

compared to some of the spunkers i've worked with since, he was a godhead.

I'm tired of me and my colleagues getting stuck with tasking on shit that the customer really honestly ought to be doing for themselves. I know it's bullshit to go on about "not in my job description" but why the fuck can't our unit chief do his own goddamned google searches for products? He does next to jack shit otherwise all day.

Very angry. Good night.

JESUS H! That is probably the most retarded thing I've ever heard! I mean, how expensive ar paperclips? And so what if they're dirty?

I'm cross because it's my last day of work and my boss won't let me leave till 8pm.

this is how her side of the conversation went:

"so if i'm doing it online, what do i put where it says 'how many years' no-claims bonus?'"

[pause]

"ohh, right. so you can't just lie about that?"

[pause]

"riiight. that would explain why the last quote was so cheap. i just put '10 years'". [cue much giggling and me approaching homicide level]

also, our fucking server has just gone down. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.

Grimly/Stet, I saw your esteemed publication ran a story on this earlier in the week, although it said that a decision was due in January (this was what we thought too but they've decided to let staff know first). Coincidence?

I explained the noun/verb thing and told him the trick is to devise a device to help him remember, but he looked pissed off because I didn't take the bait and ask him all about the Important Business of applying for a Chinese trading licence.

thass good! i've always used "advice" and "advise" to illustrate the difference, but this is better.

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing him to have to drive on to the shoulder to avoid hitting her. This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his
arm out his window and gave the woman the finger....

"Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic, and here's why:

I drive 48 miles each way every day to work. That's 96 miles each day.

Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper.

Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway.

There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles.

That works out to be 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.

Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars.

That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every day.

Statistically, females drive half of these.

That's 18,000 women drivers!

In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS.

That's 642

According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding.

That's 449.

According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide.

That's 98.

And 34% describe men as their biggest problem.

That's 33.

According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry weapons and this number is increasing.

That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed.

Give one the finger? ...... I think not.

From my boss. He sends me things like this all the time. He thinks they're funny.