OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

I blame masculinity

this level of self-indulgence is indistinguishable from psychosis

katherine otm

http://stars.topix.com/slideshow/18800

don't click that by the way... it's one of those weird slideshows where you need to load a whole separate page to proceed to the next slide. the list is "27 Hilariously Lame Artists that Hipsters Love" and the author says that Modest Mouse is a "pale imitation of the Talking Heads" and that Radiohead's only good song is "Creep."

To be honest, the writing isn't as bad as I expected.

I mean, it's very bad, but still.

First, Aphex Twin is not a band, it's the stage name of Irishman Richard David James. He rose to fame with a song called "Windowlicker," which should tell you all you need to know about this ambient techno artist's off-putting vibe.

see how many mistakes you can spot

really into how mad the writer of that is about the very concept of solo musicians and also how despite their remit they can't bring themselves to be snarky about the Lumineers

this is bad:

There’s a reason a rock god like Springsteen might keep the prompter out of sight of his adoring fans. Because if they saw it, would they wonder: Is he singing from the heart? Or is it just from the McScroll?

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/bruce-springsteen-uses-teleprompter-in-performances-does-it-matter/2012/03/30/gIQAQTXGlS_story.html?tid=a_inl

Is this the early 90s?

Don't know about you but I'm forever racking my heart trying to remember the lyrics to songs.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DKRHuKiUQAEL2SW.png:small

there's a bit in one of the lyttle lytton writeups about this kind of sweeping pat journalistic rimshot flourish (earlier this year: "The award show was a veritable orgy — not of sex, but of cultural appropriation") and it's bad enough when it's just about some college football team, not actual people actually dying

holy shit that is tacky

yikes

bol serves up this hot piece of shit that is the first time i can honestly say, yes, this might be the worst piece of music writing ever. vile.

https://www.getrevue.co/profile/byroncrawford/issues/why-i-support-xxxtentacion-74240

i have no idea how or why you would read a Byron Crawford article if you're not attuned to his schtick

"I can't *believe* this thing I saw on an account that I follow that has done exactly this type of thing for 10 years"

well I actually saw Craig Jenkins tweeting taking shots about some article that mentioned his writing and was like hmm I wonder what this is and the article was that bol piece.

am I grounded?

Def on goon cru probation

damn :(

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/09/29/opinion/what-sincerity-looks-like.html?mcubz=3&_r=0

"Swift is a phenomenally talented and beautiful songwriter who has lost touch with herself and seems to have been swallowed by the ethos of the Trump era."

david brooks retire bitch

yeah that seems willfully ignorant
"some ordinary-looking backup singers behind him"

"It’s interesting how corporate the video looks and the song sounds. It’s been a long time since the Sex Pistols burst on the scene."

EVER FEEL LIKE YOU'VE BEEN CHEATED???

Back in the 1950s, sincerity seemed treacly and boring, and authenticity, in the form of, say, Johnny Cash, seemed daring and new. But now rebellious authenticity is the familiar corporate success formula, and sincerity, like Chance the Rapper’s, is practically revolutionary.

https://media.giphy.com/media/26BRq84rhISRcFVUQ/giphy.gif

A person has a soul, which is what Chance is worrying about. A brand has a reputation, which is the title of Swift’s next album. A person has private dignity. A brand is a creation for an audience.

so was chance acting like a person or a brand when his management went after a MTV News writer

lol SERIOUSLY

maybe he was just acting like a man... the most authentic way to act of all

he was certainly not acting as a rapper

Sincerity is the new authenticity.

Aw, that takes me back. ILM circa 2005: fake is the new real / real is the new fake

I hope we get another "Mean" out of this.

I mean we kind of already have

https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/41RG9XYD33L._SX305_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg

as in the rapper obv

ah, i hated that book so much 20 years ago—remember when he and wendy shalit were being pitched as the ivy leaguers who TOLD IT LIKE IT WAS (i.e. that america should be more conservative)? misty, watercolored, etc.

dude got woke. it turns out that women make great music. if you really listen. while you are eating breakfast.

https://mobile.nytimes.com/2017/10/05/magazine/should-women-make-their-own-pop-music-canon.html?referer

THIS IS NOT THE WORST MUSIC WRITING. just didn't know where else to put it.

kinda would have respected him more if he had gone first person here. the marathon listening session he describes at the beginning seems like penance or something:

"We take female musicians just seriously enough not to notice that we don’t actually take them seriously enough."

lol at Wesley Morris suddenly getting woke

We should start new thread for this and it's ilk called 'OK, is this the wokest piece of music writing ever?'

Also, what New York does he live in where he doesn't hear women. I hear "Hips Don't Lie" all the time.

he just hears the beatles everywhere

The other day, I spent 75 minutes at a coffee shop and heard, one after the other, the Doors, Radiohead and Elvis Costello.

lasted 74 minutes longer than I would've

The other day, I spent 75 minutes at a coffee shop

The saddest 11 words I've read all year, maybe.

it's hard when you're trying to stay sober

I write a scathing Yelp review if I spend more than 5 minutes in a coffee shop without hearing Tribe 8's "Neanderthal Dyke" playing at deafening volumes

what kind of new york does he live in where people eat hoagies???? IT'S CALLED A HERO

anyway ban all critical writing that uses 'we' as a rhetorical framework, because it ALWAYS lands poorly

yes^