The Martin Shkreli trial roffles thread

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I fully believe he belongs in a messy jail cell.

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 14 September 2017 16:05 (six years ago) link

The Good Martin is in the messy room, and he can't leave...

you are juror number 144 and we will excuse you (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, 14 September 2017 17:21 (six years ago) link

that letter is so gross. "hey mr judge man, you don't get it, threatening people shouldn't be illegal because all my shut-in dickhead internet friends think it's funny, ps jacking up drug prices 1000% is bedroom model tinkering, i'm smart, peace"

goole, Thursday, 14 September 2017 17:23 (six years ago) link

-AIDS medication
-unreleased wu tang album
-lock of hillary's hair

poor shkreli, jailed RIGHT before collecting all the potion ingredients

— rachel axler (@rachelaxler) September 14, 2017

frogbs, Thursday, 14 September 2017 17:39 (six years ago) link

Which I assume is some magic tonic which will make his face stop doing that thing his face does.

Scott Staph (Old Lunch), Thursday, 14 September 2017 17:47 (six years ago) link

Lol

DJI, Thursday, 14 September 2017 19:04 (six years ago) link

This one's for Ned

And Martin Shkreli is sent to jail where he will never obtain the ham he so desires. pic.twitter.com/gnm58ZOXJY

— Courtney Enlow (@courtenlow) September 14, 2017

Old Lynch's Sex Paragraph (Phil D.), Thursday, 14 September 2017 19:50 (six years ago) link

Hahah

I SO hope this is true, BTW

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/features/2017-09-14/martin-shkreli-s-2-million-wu-tang-album-might-not-be-a-wu-tang-album

Martin Shkreli, who became notorious as the boyish Pharma Bro after he raised the price of a lifesaving drug by 5,000 percent, paid $2 million in a 2015 auction for the album. He owns the rights to do anything he pleases with it, except sell copies. But interviews with rappers and managers involved in the recording raise questions about its provenance and value: Is Once Upon a Time in Shaolin a true Wu-Tang Clan album? Or did Shkreli pay lavishly for the work of a little-known producer with a peripheral link to the storied rap group?

Shkreli, who currently faces a prison sentence for fraud, may himself have been played.

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 14 September 2017 23:12 (six years ago) link

How's that eBay auction going I wonder?

Mark G, Thursday, 14 September 2017 23:27 (six years ago) link

End of the story says it was at 1 million so he's still losing on the deal.

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 14 September 2017 23:50 (six years ago) link

two months pass...

I’m usually not surprised by these things, but nothing sets off my “It belongs on a museum!” reaction like

The feds want Martin Shkreli to fork over the https://mobile.twitter.com/stewartbishop/status/936622249431445509 million Wu-Tang Clan Album. pic.twitter.com/5QLWcJgDP7

— Stewart Bishop (@stewartbishop) December 1, 2017

Motherfucker has an Enigma machine

Google Murray Blockchain (kingfish), Friday, 1 December 2017 21:49 (six years ago) link

two months pass...

So allegedly he's swole now:

https://www.inc.com/bill-murphy-jr/americas-most-hated-ceo-got-buff-in-prison-people-actually-like-him-there-heres-what-happened.html

There are no photos, only courtroom sketches, but at least according to the Post, Shkreli looked a lot harder and stronger under his blue jail uniform.

"He's got his prison muscles, the Post quotes a "source close to the defense" as saying. "They like him in there. ... They don't put their arms around him and say 'Give me your money' like they do to other new prisoners. ... They like him."

There are also two letters that he's sent that have been made public--one to a friend named Lisa Whisnant, and the other to a Brooklyn-based media company called The Tab. He seemed like he was doing OK in both letters.

"Jail has some redeeming qualities," he wrote to The Tab. "It's probably the most social environment I've been in. ... There is camaraderie akin to a military setting. You learn just how lucky you are, you help others out, learn cool slang, watch BET all day. Great times!"

Separately, he wrote Whisnant, "Things are not THAT awful here. ... There are some bright sides. I am teaching these prisoners some new things and hopefully some ways to change their lives."

There's just one small problem, per news from earlier today:

https://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-crime-shkreli/pharma-bro-shkreli-to-be-held-responsible-for-10-4-million-in-losses-u-s-judge-idUSKCN1GA2DB?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=Social

The ruling from U.S. District Judge Kiyo Matsumoto could mean more prison time for Shkreli, since the amount of financial loss plays a major role in federal sentencing guidelines. While Matsumoto must consider the guidelines at the sentencing, which is scheduled for March 9, she is not bound to follow them.

Ned Raggett, Monday, 26 February 2018 21:10 (six years ago) link

IOW, pretty much just need a batch of super serum or something and then we'll have the supervillian for the second series of The Defenders.

Ned Raggett, Monday, 26 February 2018 21:12 (six years ago) link

wtf wrong article

fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Monday, 5 March 2018 23:46 (six years ago) link

How many times they gonna take away this dude's wu-tang record? Feel like I was reading that same exact article years ago

Dan I., Tuesday, 6 March 2018 17:23 (six years ago) link

Aw.

shkreli is crying at his sentencing right now

— allie conti (@allie_conti) March 9, 2018

Ned Raggett, Friday, 9 March 2018 17:36 (six years ago) link

what a fuckin snowflake

Getting weird over there

"There's no conspiracy to take down Martin Shkreli. I took down Martin Shkreli with my disgraceful actions." lol damn dude

— allie conti (@allie_conti) March 9, 2018

lmao the judge is talking about lauren duca

— allie conti (@allie_conti) March 9, 2018

Ned Raggett, Friday, 9 March 2018 17:56 (six years ago) link

Oh my god.

oh also earlier shkreli's own lawyer mentioned wanting to punch him in the face so there's that

— allie conti (@allie_conti) March 9, 2018

Ned Raggett, Friday, 9 March 2018 17:57 (six years ago) link

And bye!

martin shkreli was just sentenced to 7 years in prison

— allie conti (@allie_conti) March 9, 2018

Ned Raggett, Friday, 9 March 2018 18:59 (six years ago) link

wow, that is unexpected. I didn't know people actually went to prison for this shit

frogbs, Friday, 9 March 2018 19:08 (six years ago) link

bernie madoff? ENRON men? shkreli followed their lead, made a high profile "example"

flappy bird, Friday, 9 March 2018 19:09 (six years ago) link

Now I'm crying. With laughter.

Buff Jeckley (Tom D.), Friday, 9 March 2018 19:11 (six years ago) link

I didn't know people actually went to prison for this shit

They never do in the UK, they know how to treat rich scumbags over here.

Buff Jeckley (Tom D.), Friday, 9 March 2018 19:13 (six years ago) link

federal time has minimal parole too. he'll be in for at least 6 years. only ways out early is exemplary behavior (lol) or a drug treatment program

officer sonny bonds, lytton pd (mayor jingleberries), Friday, 9 March 2018 19:16 (six years ago) link

xxp well yea but his crimes seemed relatively minor when compared to Bernie Madoff or Enron. what was the grand total of prison years served in the subprime mortgage collapse?

obviously a well-earned sentence either way

frogbs, Friday, 9 March 2018 19:17 (six years ago) link

[Outro: Judge]
Guilty, next case

omar little, Friday, 9 March 2018 19:21 (six years ago) link

xxp well yea but his crimes seemed relatively minor when compared to Bernie Madoff or Enron. what was the grand total of prison years served in the subprime mortgage collapse?

obviously a well-earned sentence either way

― frogbs, Friday, March 9, 2018 7:17 PM (sixteen minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

the key way to do time is to be flagrant as fuck about it. enron was made an example of because it was super public, had a ton of photos of people on the street with their boxes and shit - but no other company had similar circumstances (there were other prosecutions of vile CEOS like adelphia, etc but not as high profile I guess).

the financial crisis perps had the advantage of cover. EVERYONE was guilty as fuck so it was impossible to make an example out of anyone in particular. the enron trial was also time consuming, expensive and not a guaranteed win. no ambitious prosecutor was going to take all that one and risk losing.

officer sonny bonds, lytton pd (mayor jingleberries), Friday, 9 March 2018 19:36 (six years ago) link

lmao omar

Whiney G. Weingarten, Friday, 9 March 2018 19:51 (six years ago) link

yea that makes sense

hard to imagine Shkreli's persona didn't come into play here

frogbs, Friday, 9 March 2018 20:41 (six years ago) link

imagine being such an asshole that even being rich and white couldn’t save you from a hefty prison sentence, that’s like fuckin super-saiyan levels of unpleasantness

he did make a really powerful point in the midst of his tears, though

#MartinShkreli is dabbing tissue at his eyes now, his voice wavering and choked with emotion."Many of you who love me, support me and look up to me should reassess your position," he says.

— Stephanie Clifford (@stephcliff) March 9, 2018

no one has really addressed how the masses who love him and look up to him should feel. this is a tough time for shkreliNation

going to jail probably sucks

brimstead, Friday, 9 March 2018 23:04 (six years ago) link

if only opera man were still around to give us "Shkreli in jaili" tomorrow night

the poster's anxiety at the suggested ban (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, 9 March 2018 23:16 (six years ago) link

yep

Heavy Messages (jed_), Saturday, 10 March 2018 01:23 (six years ago) link

a comeuppance that's hollow, really.

Heavy Messages (jed_), Saturday, 10 March 2018 01:56 (six years ago) link

The RZA
The GZA
The SKZA

calstars, Saturday, 10 March 2018 02:02 (six years ago) link

Here's the thing: I can happily agree with the larger premise of that piece and yet still be quite happy he's going to prison for a few years. The guy was clearly a showoffy, heartless dick to *everyone,* treating absolutely nothing seriously beyond his ranty power trip, and this is what it got him, and that's a chunk of his life gone and a permanent record to boot. Reform the system and target some even more egregious criminals by all means, but c'mon.

Ned Raggett, Saturday, 10 March 2018 02:02 (six years ago) link

Oh for sure. Dude is a scumbag.

DJI, Saturday, 10 March 2018 02:29 (six years ago) link

imagine being such an asshole that even being rich and white couldn’t save you from a hefty prison sentence, that’s like fuckin super-saiyan levels of unpleasantness

― I’m 16 and a member of UKIP’s youth wing, young independence (bizarro gazzara), Friday, March 9, 2018 4:56 PM (four hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

again it was the fact that he was a public figure, easily one of the most widely reviled people in America in 2015, and was made an example of. see again: Skilling & Lay, Madoff

flappy bird, Saturday, 10 March 2018 02:48 (six years ago) link

Kinda increasingly feeling like people who exist just to smugly wipe their asses with the social contract should be locked up on that basis alone. Or like banish him. Why don't we banish people anymore? I guess I don't know where we'd banish him. Locking him up works for me, sure.

Ape Wipes (Old Lunch), Saturday, 10 March 2018 03:02 (six years ago) link

madoff stole from, and embarrassed, rich people. that's why he's in prison for 150 years.

difficult listening hour, Saturday, 10 March 2018 04:48 (six years ago) link

Think this sentence is proof that we will basically accept people being evil predatory fucks, but have zero tolerance for people publicly gloating about it like cartoon villains.

mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Saturday, 10 March 2018 09:32 (six years ago) link

i think this sums up the reasons for the lengthy sentence quite well

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2018/mar/09/martin-shkreli-sentence-jail-arrogance-sentencing-fraud

mark e, Saturday, 10 March 2018 09:50 (six years ago) link


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