VegemiteGrrl's Home for the Absent-Minded

I have hearing damage and wear rubber earplugs at work - they cost about £25. Every so often I give them a rinse and pat them dry with a kitchen towel.

Unfortunately I keep forgetting that I've just washed them. I look at the mysterious wet kitchen towel in my hand and throw it in the bin. Ten minutes later I'm on my hands in knees in the garbage trying to get my £25 earplugs back.

Today I had to trawl through the bins at the back of a staff meeting, to confused looks.

oh jeez what a nightmare... i can picture myself doing the same thing

Then later I was twirling my lanyard and smacked myself in the balls

It's been a day

I bought some fancyish earplugs once, couldn't really fit them right, lost one of them on the filthy venue floor at the first gig I wore them at

so that went well

sorry about your bin-trawling

well, not that fancyish, maybe £15. fancier than I wanted to lose after one failed attempt at wearing anyway

i feel this, from chowhound

So I made a small pot roast last night (late - around 10 or 11pm), and took it out of the oven to cool on the counter, and naturally, fell asleep

I found a brand new container of grapefruit juice, still in the grocery bag, on the counter this week. I must have put all the groceries in the fridge or cabinet other than it. It was the kind that needs to be refrigerated.

volunteering mr veg to this thread in solidarity

he said he was going to run some errands, then wandered around looking for his keys. no luck. so he went out to the car ... which was unlocked ... and found the keys in the ignition... in the first “on” position.
battery dead as a doornail :(

the amazing thing to me was that they had been in the ignition overnight! our car got tossed when our autolock started crapping out so it’s a miracle that we even HAD a car still

I've left my keys in the front door before, once overnight - it's a refreshing all-over mortal chill, which is available in smaller draughts every time that it's been 10 minutes and I can't find them.

I left the keys to a friend's golf convertible in the door on a busy glasgow street for about 20 minutes... still there when I ran back. If they'd been on the pavement side I might have been less lucky.

I think one of the best features of having changed to a newer car a couple years back is that I don't have to take my keys out of my pocket, and if I do leave them in the car somehow, it makes lots of noises at me.

I've definitely left my keys in the door (now the back door of a house, luckily) but years ago I left them in the door to my apartment overnight!

my dad drove off with a bunch of financial paperwork on the top of his car. it was an identity thief's dream. by some miracle, it was picked up and returned by some neighbors.

O_O

For decades, I've never managed to have a proper hot shower at my parents' house - the hot water always runs out after a couple minutes.

Anyway I just realised I've been turning the hot tap the wrong direction.

omg that is beautiful <3

i should not be allowed to own sunglasses. i lose every single pair i buy, usually within 2-3 weeks of purchase

In line with my "skeleton head" comment upthread, last night I was trying to talk to B about "that show... you know, the one with the ladies with the weird hats"

He amazingly worked out I meant the Handmaids Tale, while giving me a .... look.

Last night I packed my daughter a lunch for school and put it in the fridge. Today is a holiday.

This morning I was supposed to bring a pair of kids rain boots to my car to return at Costco later. I spoke with my wife about it multiple times this morning. I put them on the bench that I pass when I walk out, then took out the shopping cart that I use for costco stuff, put my work bag in the shopping cart, then walked out with the shopping cart, never having actually put them in the cart.

My wife texted me "You forgot the boots. That's impressive even for you."

My partner is a hero for never losing her shit at this sort of thing.

Recently whenever I lose something - a wallet, a set of keys, a book - she says "Have you checked the fridge?"

This is good advice more often than it should be.

I have only found my keys in the fridge once so far. Really starting to feel proud of that.

the number of times i’ve lost the keys that are in my own hand (and even put them down in order to lift something up in case they’re under there) is frankly disgusting

No it's beautiful.

I'm at a restaurant and eat an incredibly foul mouthful of french fries. Why? Because - obviously - I've mistaken the candle holder for a vinegar jar and poured liquid paraffin over my entire meal.

It turns out that this recipe doesn't call for me to chop a pepper and then put that in the bin.

I ruined some chopped onions, ready for the pan the other day. By sprinkling loads of nutmeg over them instead of cumin. And also i keep injuring my fingertips when I'm cooking, by clumsily thrusting them into sharp objects. It is hard to explain, but i think I'm positively "not reet" tbh.

I've mistaken the candle holder for a vinegar jar

I don't understand how this happens

It was a glass jar holding tea lights or something. It looked *very* like a jar of colourless white vinegar but my clue should've been that the lid had a wick in it.

Aha - like this: http://www.candleland.com/includes/templates/herbally/images/slider2_liquid_paraffin_wax_candle_fuel_cells.jpg

that is very helpful, thank you.

candles should look like candles imo

sorry bout yr chips :(

I'm also sorry but I'm also laughing

I posted the other day about a baseball book I'd just bought (and paid too much for):

Baseball Books

Get home tonight, and there's a book in the mailbox. I buy one or two books online a month--I sometimes don't remember what's sitting there till I open the envelope. When I got in the house and was just about to open it, it hit me all of a sudden what it was: I'd ordered the same book from AbeBooks a couple of weeks ago.

Absent-mindedness: funny, till it starts costing you money.

I have not ended up with two copies of a book unintentionally, for a while

I have not remembered that a glass of water was nearby and spilled over a book, leaving me with my guilty wrinkled copy I gifted and then rebought a copy for my hoarder library

During a rather prominent poetry reading over the weekend, it was only until after I did my part and got off stage, when someone - granted: politely - pointed me to the fact that the labels of my new shirt had been hanging out. Price tag dangling from the neck, label on the button on the sleeve (wtf) and a store label hanging out. Why do shirts needs so many labels anyway?! I'd bought the shirt the week before but didn't even notice the labels when putting it on yesterday morning because... of course I didn't. Sad lol.

I bought ice cream for the first time in a while yesterday. I’ve already put it into the fridge instead of the freezer twice already.

LBI, I think you can somehow chalk that up to um, poetic license in fashion

oh yeah, I also showed up to work this week only to find a pair of underwear stuck in the leg of my pants, again

I wouldn't fall for it, but nevertheless you might have a point there. "Oh artsy poetry person forgets his labels nbd". But that's not meeee.... Though maybe it is, after yesterday's drama forgetting to take out the labels, idk.

xp omg haha, i've been there

Discovered that I had written sandwich things on a grocery list this weekend. I couldn't make any sense of it. I didn't remember wanting a sandwich or receiving a sandwich request from anyone else. But it was there on the list, so I piled a variety of vegetables, cheeses, and bread into my cart. After I got home and unpacked, I realized that I had meant sandwich-sized food storage containers.

Sandwicher Things

https://www.autostraddle.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/eleven-stranger-things.jpg

today’s a lovely warm day, so i caught 2.5 hrs of public transport and walked 3 hrs into this lovely lovely forest, and have only just realised i left a packet of sausages on the kitchen floor

lol that story did not end the way I expected it to

sausage crisis averted

Every morning I make myself an iced coffee. Set some water up to boil, add grounds to the french press, and fill a travel mug with ice. Just poured the boiling water into the cup full of ice instead of the french press.

I don't know where to post this so I'm going to post this here, despite it being the opposite of what this thread is about. Normally at the beginning of January I'm continually writing the previous year on dates. Haven't done it once so far. But maybe that's because I'm thinking "ffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck it's 2018".

My home bathroom has one of those slow-descending toilet seats, so you can put the toilet seat down without it slamming and making a loud noise.

Alternatively you can:

1. Do your business then flush the toilet
2. Put the toilet seat down
3. Bend over to pick a pound coin off the floor
4. Get punched in the face by your own toilet seat

lol oh no

man that is rough

I had the opposite, or something, of absent mindedness today when I spent the entire day planning for my wife being away in England this weekend. I'm able to play a Sunday game I usually skip, I've a few pints set up on Saturday and am meeting a fella for brunch. All sociable don't spend the weekend mooching in the apt stuff.

My wife isn't away in England this weekend. She isn't away in England any weekend coming up. She has no plans to visit England again that are concrete or have been discussed.

I have no idea whether I dreamt it or have been incepted. I'm still keeping all the plans tho as I've no idea how to explain it. And pints and a match obv.

I mean...is that worrisome? Now I write it down.