people that YELP are scumbags

sometimes i think that website is an massive, long-term hoax intended as a vehicle for elaborate self-pWnage

ultimate sign of how out of touch a person is = they think retail/food service workers give the tiniest shit about how much product is sold

the person on the register is definitely the person to complain to about how they are the only person on a register. for reals!

You swiped right. So did they. You propose meeting face-to-face at the magician. They agree. You exchange several messages before deciding on a day. The night-of arrives and neither of you have ghosted each other. You arrive during happy hour and order a $3 well drink . It's cash only, but there's an ATM just outside. Your date arrives 15 minutes late. You exchange an awkward hello. They ask what you do for a living. You feel dead inside. The small talk continues. You think about leaving, but it's only 7:45 and happy hour goes until 8pm. You order another round. Suddenly, you're both feeling tipsy. Your date tells you their father just died. The funeral's tomorrow. You don't know what to say. You walk away and never text them again.

also this -
https://www.yelp.com/topic/los-angeles-people-that-yelp-are-scumbags

lol

i'm going to yelp this thread

― cutty, Tuesday, March 18, 2008 11:39 AM (nine years ago)

mmmhmmm

Big fan of Derek T: https://m.yelp.com/user_details?userid=BbOCpFs01lxTeFinGI8hUw

4.0 star rating
why would you come to this lovely taco cafe to fight with yr gnarly family????

i just dont get it when you could STFU and slam some tacos and drink free water that had exactly 1 slice of lime in the big jug... the tacos were great i ate 2: a fish taco and a shrimp taco. could rly taste the emotion of the ocean... theres plenty of fish in the sea but there WONT be after i eat them all in taco format :P

but mostly what went down was that literally 5 different gross and depressing families came here and argued about i guess nothing? about who could annoy me more??? at one point a guy said "why are you arguing i knew you would argue!" to his horrible mother and terrible sis....

if you KNEW they would argue why did you bring them to a taco restaraunt!? arent you embarassed???! this isnt a fucking greyhound bus

dont hang out with ur family if u hate them! they prolly hate u too...
home is where the heart is, duckies...

-thats the word and thanx for readin!-

-derRrek

“Exactly 1 slice of lime” great detail, A+

love a good taco restaurant

pages of derek t goodness. his review of my old safeway is lol

could rly taste the emotion of the ocean... theres plenty of fish in the sea but there WONT be after i eat them all in taco format :P

o captain my captain

derek stopped posting reviews in 2013, hope he's ok

he's ok. wish I could say the same for his computer. he installed Odell Lake and reformatted his hard drive to taco.

first ilx mention of Odell Lake?

ilx is Odell Lake:
you are a Doctor Casino
you see a random googler ahead

hooked by an angler, every time

Liked this review of a local Asian market. Was originally structuring this post around a review that mentioned a sketchy exterior, a fishy smell, and products in a foreign language (shocker!), but then read the review above and wanted to recognize an anti-scumbag. Informative, pleasant, well-written, and thorough.

Unlike a lot of things, personally, the 1 in 10 Yelpers who write a decent review successfully offset the other 9 who fixate on some personal slight or bias.

jesus, ross pic.twitter.com/8kBEArVH1r

— Ingrid Ghostby (@ingridostby) October 25, 2018

food bloggers insides must look like raqqa

Tikis On The Ave, 210 S Wenatchee Ave, Wenatchee, WA 98801

This place is unfriendly and fosters an unsafe environment. My husband went into the restroom only to notice several men snorting cocaine.

Ma’am.

...and they would not give him any
ZERO STARS

Stopped by this restaurant yesterday when I was in BK. I tried to get in a few years back but it was crowded, late and I didn't have a reservation so I thought I would try again.
It was packed again; which is good sign that the food and drinks are still good.
But I'm sorry to say...I didn't get to try it.
We waited at the hostess stand for about 5 mins. The hostess only came in our direction when a gentleman come up behind us. Not sure if he worked there or not. But he walked passed us.
He then turned and said she is seating you.
Instead of the hostess using her big girl words like, "hello, right this way, Table for 2" she waved her hand in a gesture to follow her. Which I found to be very rude and uninviting. There were two tables in the front, one in the window the other near the bar. Instead she wanted to place us in the back in a crowded area squeezed in between to couples.
I asked the gentleman for another table, like perhaps the one in the window, he relayed the message to her. She looked confused and annoyed that I was asking if the other table was available. Mind you in directly in front of her.
If getting a table was going to be this bad I didn't want to see what else was in store.
We left...

opening your own restaurant inside of an operating burger king is a bit rude

instant classic

i was very pleased a couple weeks ago to read like every yelp review to a very expensive and famous restaurant in my neighborhood. multiple people complained that they saw cockroaches or mice in the dining room. lol.

Instead of the hostess using her big girl words like, "hello, right this way, Table for 2

Stopped by this restaurant yesterday when I was in BK. I tried to get in a few years back but it was crowded, late and I didn't have a reservation so I thought I would try again.
It was packed again; which is good sign that the food and drinks are still good.
But I'm sorry to say...I didn't get to try it.
My OS and I waited at the hostess stand for about 5 mins. The hostess only came in our direction when a gentleman come up behind us. Not sure if he worked there or not. But he walked passed us.
He then turned and said she is seating you.
Instead of the hostess using her big girl words like, "hello, right this way, Table for 2" she waved her hand in a gesture to follow her. Which I found to be very rude and uninviting. There were two tables in the front, one in the window the other near the bar. Instead she wanted to place my OS and I in the back in a crowded area squeezed in between to couples.
I asked the gentleman for another table, like perhaps the one in the window, he relayed the message to her. She looked confused and annoyed that I was asking if the other table was available. Mind you in directly in front of her.
If getting a table was going to be this bad I didn't want to see what else was in store.
My OS and I left...

Machines should also do waiter work imo! it will embiggen their silicon souls.

every ai must spend a virtual human lifetime working at a simulated dairy queen next to a simulated used car lot

i worked at a dairy queen in my high school years (next to a used car lot!); there's no need to be that inhumane.

one of my coworkers was a frazzled nam vet with one arm and he would have me help him peel the american cheese slices out of their plastic sheaths and then we would stack them into star-shaped towers.

we are the same person, i think

common rite of puberty in north america iirc

The soup was too spicy, the chairs are uncomfortable and tables are narrow. But the cranberry margarita was very yummy

Feel good read if you don't like Yelp:

https://thehustle.co/botto-bistro-1-star-yelp/

What the fuck is with this person's system, where two stars appears to be terrible and three stars amazing?

https://maps.app.goo.gl/XBpFK5zuSepYnpgd6

YELP are scumbags
https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/wjwebw/yelp-is-sneakily-replacing-restaurants-phone-numbers-so-grubhub-can-take-a-cut

i don't know what the best thread for this would be, but i was reading about local sausagemakers and i ran across a gem of a review - on Google, not Yelp. it was by someone who knows enough about writing to put in a first sentence that grabs the reader, in this case:

"As I’m picking bullet fragments out of my teeth, not for the first time, from the deer sausage I didn’t want, I thought I would post this review."

that's exceptionally good writing for an internet review of a local german butcher, and i appreciate it.

https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/qvgxzd/yelps-horniest-most-prolific-reviewer-is-a-jacked-foot-worshipper-named-fox-e

checks out

His voice is gentle, and he speaks with a subtle posh British accent. He tells me he's from Oxford, England,

That guy singlehandedly balances out all the scumbags in this thread put together

The addas (red lentil soup) is pureed and that is not necessarily the most common way it is prepared in the Middle East, and the menu doesn't mention that it is pureed. It was more like a broth and not all that flavorful.

From a non-middle-eastern reviewer

love 2 correct people on their own culture's foods

scum

jfc

From local strip club review:

"1 of the girls farted on me I left instantly omg never again. I came to visit and all my friends told me to check that strip club it's 1 of the best . He got me good"

Should have to pay extra for that