worst sounding sushi roll at guy fieri's southern bbq & california style sushi restaurant tex wasabi's

there's a lady who's sure
all that glitters is gold
and she's buying a stairway to heaven
she's so fine
there's no telling where the money went

In my defense, I was drunk-certain of my correctness and had zero fear that Guy was going to be ruining my weekend.

So when is the big day? I trust you'll be posting a review.

This weekend, apparently. Can't decide if going in stoned is a good idea or the worst idea ever.

I am going to sacrifice myself to the will of this thread and will order what you choose from each category. First up: "Shareables"

Sashimi Won-Tacos$16.00
Sashimi-grade ahi and mango-jicama salsa are packed into crispy wonton taco shells, drizzled with sweet soy + wasabi cream.

Maryland Crab Fondue$16.00
Served with crispy house-made Old Bay + herb pretzel bread.

Los Nachos Del Jefe$14.00
Crispy corn tortilla chips topped with black beans, chorizo, Cheddar + Cotija cheeses, slivered red onions, sour cream, cilantro + jalapeños, built to make each nacho the perfect bite!.

Righteous Rojo Rings*$11.00
A little sweet, a little spicy, a whole lot of flavor! Guy's rojo dipping sauce takes these rings to the next level.

B-more Fries$16.00
Waffle-cut fries layered with a creamy blue crab fondue, Old Bay + green onions.

if you're at all prone to paranoia when baked i dunno if descending into the seven circles of flavortown is gonna be a good idea

personally i'd get sloshed beforehand, save the weed for a post-prandial palate-cleanser / nausea suppressant

gotta be the won-tacos, surely

'wonton taco shells' ffs

oh wait one more item from "Shareables"

Vegas Fries*$13.00
Guy's Signature dish - a throwback to his UNLV college days! Crispy sidewinder-cut fries are tossed in spicy buffalo seasoning, topped with blue cheese crumbles, served with Guy's cool blue-sabi (blue cheese + wasabi) dipping sauce.

Hard to fuck up nachos. Take the nachos

I agree that nachos are probably the safest choice, but part of me wants to make this as punishing as possible to my better half. What sounds most *awful*?

are we deciding based on what sounds most appetising or what's gonna be most amusing for the purposes of this thread

oh okay in that case quincie it's gotta be won-tacos for sure right?

The B-More Fries are sure to be a nigh-inedible soggy mess and a complete waste of crab

None of it is appetizing to me (in the context of a lot of places in Baltimore that I'd love to try, and also considering the amount of cash we are going to be dropping on this little outing, which also involves a hotel room why because frozen jager shots)

am i losing my mind or does blue cheese and wasabi sauce sound like it might actually work?

The crab is likely to be no-bueno canned shit, so I think there is definitely danger there. But "cool blue-sabi" is just so painful to read. Even if it tastes good!

The won-tacos just sound like crispy fish tacos at any number of otherwise respectable places tbrr

Well I'm gonna need a ruling soon because I have other meal courses to post for voting!

q, I am kinda jealous that you guys are fully embracing being in your twenties while in Baltimore, fwiw

BG you are not wrong - horseradish & bleu cheese can be quite good imo

Q, do the Bmore Fries and TAKE PICTURES

actually i think tombot is right, crab fondue fries sounds like a total fucking car crash, u should get that

OK well maybe I should consider posting all of the menu selections so as to aide in an ilx-curated guy fieri meal. Next menu category: "Ain't No Thing Butta [sic] Chicken Wing"

Jalapeño Buffalo Wings$14.00
House-made buffalo sauce-tossed wings served with raw veggie medley, Guy's blue-sabi (blue cheese + wasabi) dipping sauce to put out the fire!.

Double-barrel BBQ Wings$14.00
Tossed in a blend of Guy's Signature Bourbon Brown Sugar BBQ sauce + chipotle, served with crispy fried onion straws, tangy house-made ranch + raw veggie medley.

Old Bay Wings$14.00
Crispy wings tossed in Old Bay-spiced garlic butter served with Guy's blue-sabi (blue cheese + wasabi) dipping sauce + raw veggie medley.

I think Tombot has this right; combine the disrespect to local cuisine inherent in crab fondue and the inevitable failed execution of piling it on top of french fries

Another blue-sabi opportunity there

In the wings I mean. OK I will ink in the crab fondue fries.

spouse adores wings, let's get something extra gross

the old bay wings sound almost acceptable, so go for the buffalo in a bid to induce acid reflux

I'm guessing the double-barrel is super sweet, that may be problematic?

cosign

BBQ wings are always horrible, ime. Go with those. Sticky and gross and never good

cosign silby that is - gotta have that bluesabi sometime

Jalapeño Buffalo Wings$14.00

this sounds horrible plz order

[reporting-back question: what is easiest way to post pics here? I ain't got no facebook or instagram or whatever]

I could see my way to ordering either of the other two options on purpose so do NOT do that

imgur

OK so high fructose corn syrup liquid smoke tomato paste BBQ wing bomb or something *maybe* more acceptable but with the "signature" blue-sabi in honor of thread title?

OK fine get the jalapeño buffalo ones

Let's move on

Well there are three salads but fuck those, not ordering but I do want to just post "Guy's house-made Caesar dressing + loads of Parmesan cheese are loaded into a crisp garlicky mega-crouton"

MEGA-CROUTON

so…toast!

I may or may not draw gestalt-robo MEGACROUTON in the near future.

hmmm OK remaining categories are "BIG BITE BURGERS," "KNUCKLE SANDWICHES," and "ENTRÉES" (with accent!), should we narrow down to two of those or one of those or ??? We are mere mortals and maybe should save room for dessert.

"Welcome to burger nirvana. All of our richly marbled 100% USDA choice ground beef is grilled to perfection. Your taste buds will thank you. All burgers are served with seasoned fries and ketchup."

OK I actually talked with a USDA beef guy in great detail about beef grades, why on earth would you advertise you use "choice"?

GODZILLA VS MEGA-CROUTON

Also we already have guy fries covered so I think I am going to make an executive decision and have you choose sandwiches and entrees.

jesus, check this out. . .

KNUCKLE SANDWICHES

All sandwiches are served with seasoned fries and ketchup.

The Big Dipper Sandwich$16.00
The mack daddy of all roast beef sandwiches. House-smoked shaved pit beef, pepper jack cheese, crispy onions + creamy horseradish on a toasted garlic torpedo roll.

The Motley Que Sandwich$16.00
Pulled pork shoulder smothered in Guy's Signature Bourbon Brown Sugar BBQ sauce, donkey sauce, stacked with citrus slaw, pickle chips, aged Cheddar cheese + onion straws on a toasted pretzel bun.

'68 Cajun Sandwich$15.00
This one packs a punch! It's crammed with blackened chicken, andouille sausage, Cheddar cheese, the creole trinity + Louisiana hot sauce!.

Crab Cake Sandwich$19.00
Mega Maryland crab cake, pan-fried to perfection with Old Bay mayo, LTOP, served on an"awesome pretzel"bun.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6z4DW1kXuMA

kinda disappointed that none of the knuckle sandwiches involve actually receiving a knuckle sandwich

only one of them features donkey sauce which seems key to the experience