"Are gay people people? y/n": The Australian Marriage Equality Voluntary Postal Survey Thread

I can see it now. Barnaby renounces, but is determined to have been ineligible to have stood previously, but now can run in the by-election. Which he then wins because he promises to protect his constituents from dykes and poofs.

This fucking country, seriously.

Can I distribute bits of paper for people to stick in their plebiscite envelopes that say this? The ABS could count them, I feel sure.

Barnaby Joyce is a CUNT:

[ ] YES
[ ] NO

Will this invalidate results? Someone give me constitutional advice.

I am starting to notice a rich vein of "I'm not a bigot but... fuck equality before the law" hot takes, because there wasn't just enough "I'm a bigot and fuck equality before the law because hurrrr" hot takes.

Which will come first the postal survey or yet another federal election?

julie bishop is attacking nz labour now? what the fuck is happening?

I am starting to notice a rich vein of "I'm not a bigot but... fuck equality before the law" hot takes, because there wasn't just enough "I'm a bigot and fuck equality before the law because hurrrr" hot takes.

i keep hearing "shut up you already have equality, it's just the word that's different", which is so clearly a batshit lie that you know they've got nothing

wtf lol

that's like 1 person with a glass of milk asking 1 person with an icecream if they can have some icecream too. "well techically you already HAVE icecream"

*throws milk at them, stabls them with broken glass*

"it's exactly like ice cream in every way, shut up and eat your ice cream"

"but it's liquid"

"i said shut up"

If we can escalate this trans-ditch stoush so much that we can provoke a sneak invasion - NZ law will prevail and we can have gay marriage and no nasty postal survey.

well our deptuy pm's a kiwi so

turnbull goes on a two day diplomatic trip and boom, west island confirmed

Does that mean Barnaby can marry the man of his choice with he goes to the NZ high commission?

yes, in fact he married kevin andrews on a cycling holiday

btw ed you've picked up the gist of our political culture damned quickly, great work

i'm watching reps question time, it's exactly like a sitcom

even the lnp's dixer was like a punchline! she asked turnbull about foreign interference, OF ALL THINGS.

plibers just asked turnbull who'll be acting pm when turnbull is away next week, turnbull said "usual arrangements", the roof came off.

every second this goes on, the postal survey implicitly dissolves further into satire.

they're tripping over their own dixers, it's like the plank x 75

What's there to know?

1) Democracy Sausage
2) Knockabout fun at question time is preferable to getting any real work done
3) Elections are preferable to getting any real work done
4) If you've exhausted your options 2 and 3 change PM and try again.
5) Fuck Barnaby Joyce, Tony Abbott and George Christiansen
6) Preference deals lead to surprises!
7) Xenephon, Katter, McGowan, Hinch, Lambie etc. - not all loons all the time
8) Fuck One Nation Pauline Hanson and her nasty tribe
9) Sovereignty was never ceded so this all should be moot anyway - ignore that one ask hard as possible
10) Democracy sausage, except when voting ing a mean, spiteful and meaningless postal survey

10 out of 10, you're hired

So when Turnbull goes away next week our Prime Minister will be a New Zealander and our Head of State is British.

efforts to keep foreigners outside our borders not so successful

Maybe we should just have a rule that you're not allowed in parliament without a second passport. Might improve things.

Of course we've already had a British-born PM with all his Sir Prince Phillip nonsense so whatever

so our queen of state is married to sir prince philip of australia, so it's all fine

*head of state

don't want to say that the government are getting desperate but Christopher Pyne was going off his nut in QT claiming that asking advice from NZ Labour meant that the ALP are probably colluding with the Chinese Communist Party as well

it's like asking a colleague for advice in NAZI GERMANY

wtf at this whole thing

australia is not like the caricatures you're used to, it's 17 times worse

also i know the cost is completely besides the point, but pay me $12.2 million and i'll conduct this survey by mail. how in the world can it cost $122 million, that's insane. seriously, someone pay me $12.2 million, i will do great things with the money.

one thing i would do: i insert the words "<<< You're a complete asshole" by the YES option

we're allowed to draw dicks on the form so

ftr it's actually true

The Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS) has confirmed to BuzzFeed News that ballot papers with graffiti on them will be considered valid in the upcoming same-sex marriage postal survey, as long as a "yes" or "no" vote is clearly legible.

oh no, i'm saying as administrator of the survey i would insert the words "You're a complete asshole" by the YES option on every single ballot. it's not ethical, but sometimes you have to fight fire with fire.

and by the NO option it says something like "hey, you're alright!"

that would not surprise me tbh

Legal Experts Say The Govt Definitely Fucked Up Their Postal Survey

Is the prime minister of Australia still someone named "Kevin"?

He was Prime Minister from 27th June 2013 until 18th September 2013

Though that was his second-go-round

every state and territory premier/first minister supports marriage equality. the prime minister too (i call bullshit on that but at least he claims to). so the only leader currently in power who doesn't support marriage equality is actually a kiwi.

and therefore, ironically, is the only leader who could marry a partner of the same sex if he so chose. (Said yesterday but worth saying again)

ironic then that the only nationwide political leader who opposes marriage equality is the only one who's allowed to do it by citizenship

it's pretty ironic that Barnaby Joyce could marry a man if he wanted to, when he's the only national political leader actively barring other people from doing so, don't you think

You know what's ironic? Joyce is the only leader who could get gay-married, but unlike the others he hates the gays!

so it's ironic that he can marry a man even though he's opposed to it in his capacity as a political leader

it's pretty ironic that Barnaby Joyce's head kinda looks like a kiwifruit

(as kiwifruits aren't native to New Zealand)

https://www.facebook.com/AustralianYG/posts/1721222701244749

BuzzFeed News: If we change the marriage laws in Australia that it could lead eventually to people being able to marry objects such as… the Harbour Bridge?

Abetz: Why not? Why not.

stop this sexually irresistible merry-go-round i want to get off

In Australia it is not legal to marry an object and no one has ever proposed that it should be legalised.

rip australia

rip australia

If only Australia had died right then - we would have been spared pauline hanson wearing burqa in the senate

https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/06198fe84262506796a357c57eb723488f033fdd/0_238_4500_2700/master/4500.jpg?w=620&q=55&auto=format&usm=12&fit=max&s=a20ee65d2079129734fda795127d828c

it passed!!

IT DONE

and something in the region of 900,000 people are telling lyle shelton to eat shit

finally a good thing in a terrible year

YES

i have cried several times this evening and now i am drinking pinot noir

went to trivia tonight and our team name in round 1 was "Suck shit Lyle", then in round 2 we were "Keep sucking shit Lyle"

lol

Listening to the Senate debate last week with all the “reasonable” arguments about the “rights” of bigots to cling to their bigotry was enough to erase any magnanimity toward the misguided noes. Imagine in the aftermath of the 1967 referendum, arguments being made to modify the recognition of indigenous citizens to protect the beliefs of people who really really feel that non white races are inferior. I mean, it’s their traditional belief, right? And yet all this poison was spoken righteously and entered into the parliamentary records of our country. Fuck you, bigots, I hope you squirm in your discomfort. It’s done now. Fix your hearts or die.

eat shit Lyle made my morning

That's pretty beautiful.

love my homeland for eat shit lyle <3 brings a tear it does

a genuinely admirable display of GOOD Australianness, which we've been sorely lacking recently

So who's getting an invite for January 9th?

The correct term is proposal.

went to trivia tonight and our team name in round 1 was "Suck shit Lyle", then in round 2 we were "Keep sucking shit Lyle"

― oh, boy, .GIF! That's where I'm a Viking! (edwardo), Thursday, 7 December 2017 23:06 (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this is excellent i am certainly stealing this

I mean, it’s their traditional belief, right? And yet all this poison was spoken righteously and entered into the parliamentary records of our country. Fuck you, bigots, I hope you squirm in your discomfort. It’s done now. Fix your hearts or die.

― attention vampire (MatthewK), Friday, 8 December 2017 00:23 (twenty hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

well said. what a fucking embarrassment. although it was delightful to hear christensen shriek about the cheering in the gallery, which was followed by cheering in the gallery. and the more the gallery cheered, the more it wound up the bigots. there's nothing like an angry sore loser, especially when they're fucking muck, and it's on video and in hansard for eternity. good. they can fucking die.

...it will take me a VERY VERY VERY long time to stop being weapons-grade furious with those fuck trumpets, probably never