I guess there is a lot of janky modem noise. You know the logical endpoint of this is Scott remaking Alien, right? To modernize all the effects and tech and stuff?
― Josh in Chicago, Sunday, 13 August 2017 18:42 (six years ago) link
yeah, dallas and ripley talk to mother iirc but the replies are all in text on a screen
plus they have to go to a specific room to speak to mother, they're not just cutting about the ship yelling at her whenever they like, like they do here
― for sale: clown shoes, never worn (bizarro gazzara), Sunday, 13 August 2017 18:48 (six years ago) link
So basically the chronology is, man invents Siri/OK Google/Echo, man brings that to its logical omniscient conclusion, then man says, fuck that, we prefer a silent green screen in one room.
― Josh in Chicago, Sunday, 13 August 2017 18:50 (six years ago) link
i guess the nostromo is just a piece of shit mining vessel, maybe the company didn't think it was worth getting the siri module installed
there was one sequence i enjoyed in this - kinda - which was the final battle with the alien in the terraforming hangar - the evacuation of the air from the airlock looked great
actually now i think about it, how the fuck did david get an alien back onboard? are we supposed to believe he swallowed a lil' baby chestburster and regurgitated it when they were safely in orbit?
― for sale: clown shoes, never worn (bizarro gazzara), Sunday, 13 August 2017 18:54 (six years ago) link
At some point the guy with the burned cheek got an alien in his ear? Don't remember seeing that, but so much shit just happens off screen here that's the least of its problems. They might as well have an alien burst out of lead woman's tummy in the pod and then had David immediately freeze it with her. Like, so little makes sense.
― Josh in Chicago, Sunday, 13 August 2017 18:58 (six years ago) link
I want to see a sequel where David is raising 2000 screaming babies by himself.
Or, fuck it, where the crew of 12 or whatever was raising 2000 babies. "Alien: Sitcom."
― Josh in Chicago, Sunday, 13 August 2017 18:59 (six years ago) link
i don't recall the burned guy getting anything in his ear but even if he did it'd be one of those creepy white aliens that burst out of him, not the the familiar giger alien that show up on the ship - those only come from the eggs/facehuggers
― for sale: clown shoes, never worn (bizarro gazzara), Sunday, 13 August 2017 19:01 (six years ago) link
while i remember, can someone pls make a gif of the scene where the chestburster stands up out of billy crudup, extending his li'l arms, and add the caption COME AT ME BRO
― for sale: clown shoes, never worn (bizarro gazzara), Sunday, 13 August 2017 19:04 (six years ago) link
what if a chestbuster comes out of a really religious dude and it is alien jesus
― mh, Sunday, 13 August 2017 19:09 (six years ago) link
The final alien on the ship definitely comes from someone who is in the sick bay. How you got a face hugger in him is anyone's guess, but as nothing matters in this movie, that detail certainly doesn't matter either.
― Josh in Chicago, Sunday, 13 August 2017 19:18 (six years ago) link
according to the wiki synopsis it comes from burned-face-guy - i guess the facehugger that grabs him manages to shoot its wad before it gets sawed off him?
― for sale: clown shoes, never worn (bizarro gazzara), Sunday, 13 August 2017 19:20 (six years ago) link
Ripley yells at Mother when she's trying to deactivate the self destruct mechanism, I don't know if it's just in anger though.
― Ste, Monday, 14 August 2017 12:35 (six years ago) link
Yeah, I kind of like that ambiguity! I want to say I assumed the screen interface was for more private interactions with Mother? Anyway, I know Ash was a sneaky android imbedded with them, but the first Alien shows that Mother was capable of handling herself just fine. In this one, why bother with a pervasive ship AI that has to remind the robot Walter to hoist up the main sail? Seems like a redundancy. For that matter, why have a human crew at all? They could just send lots of Walters around with 2000 embryos to start terraforming new lands.
I still want to know how they planned to change 2000 diapers at once.
― Josh in Chicago, Monday, 14 August 2017 12:40 (six years ago) link
new planet needs fertilisers, just gonna let the anklebiters shit where they please for the good of the ecosystem
― for sale: clown shoes, never worn (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 14 August 2017 12:47 (six years ago) link
On the one hand, the state of computing when Alien was made was very mainframe based, I think I got the impression when watching it that Mother was back on Earth and they just had communication rights.
On the other hand, robots.
― Andrew Farrell, Monday, 14 August 2017 12:49 (six years ago) link
For that matter, gah, how stupid to send 2000 embryos in the first place. So you'll have a bunch of useless kids to care for for a couple of decades before they can productively contribute and/or procreate. Yeah, that sounds like a strong plan.
― Josh in Chicago, Monday, 14 August 2017 12:50 (six years ago) link
Maybe they'll just unfreeze like a daycare class at a time, let them get old enough to take care of the next generation, rinse, repeat.
― Old Lynch's Sex Paragraph (Phil D.), Monday, 14 August 2017 12:57 (six years ago) link
Yeah, I don't think any film with the whole frozen embryo scheme ever implies the intention is for all of them to show up at once. You let the first wave age to a point where they're autonomous, then one that can participate in childcare, and then can stagger the population waves a little more quickly after that.
― mh, Monday, 14 August 2017 14:14 (six years ago) link
You no what? I did really like the creepy ambient score.
― Josh in Chicago, Monday, 14 August 2017 18:34 (six years ago) link
― Josh in Chicago, Sunday, August 13, 2017 7:42 PM (six days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
I thought this was a remake of all 3 first Alien films morphed into a new story.Seems to echo visually and several scenes seem to be semi lifted from elsewhere.
I did think it was a bit more coherent than Prometheus but that isn't difficult.
I assume there's a 3 coming sometime in the not too distant future.
seemed odd that James Franco was in such a small cameo in this. Looks like his role was originally at least a bit larger.
― Stevolende, Saturday, 19 August 2017 18:05 (six years ago) link
he had the best scene in the film, though.
― yellow is the color of some raisins (Doctor Casino), Saturday, 19 August 2017 18:08 (six years ago) link
Franco appears as the captain in that youtube prequel thing
his casting seemed like some sort of in-joke though
― Number None, Saturday, 19 August 2017 18:16 (six years ago) link
supposedly the home release has slightly different editing and screws up some of the homoerotic android-on-android action! unacceptable
― mh, Sunday, 20 August 2017 01:56 (six years ago) link
Just watched Covenant, haven't read thread.
As usual lovely design and photography. Loved the solar sails, the location shots of the planet. And pale alien hybrid things why not.
What I didn't like was lots of stuff, and in particular:
- really stupid impulsive decisions taken by crew members that would have worked if acted out properly but no (e.g. 'man of faith' captain deciding to go off-course to that planet, man in white hat deciding to take the ship down into the storm instead of thinking of the colonists) - supposedly professionals who scream and run around - stupid shower sexy time punishment by the xenomorph. That can't be right surely. Killing as punishment for sexy showers is straight out of a slasher movie and it even tickled them with its tail before doing so. Fuck offfff.
― Never changed username before (cardamon), Sunday, 24 September 2017 20:23 (six years ago) link
Going back itt:
this movie has two different scenes of someone getting offed by an alien when they think it's all over and go to take a shower. i mean come ON.
And it had to be a two-person sexy shower because they had an extra character to get rid of.
and I haven't even gotten into the garbage last sequence on the spaceship, or the mean-spirited twist, which you see coming for so long that it's only surprising because it's been obvious for SO long that you finally go "huh, well, i guess they're NOT going to.. oh no wait, they are, there it is." so i guess david's going to commit more heinous atrocities but after seeing him murder possibly an entire civilization (or maybe a backwards antique branch with no security or defense systems, who knows really, film doesn't care) what's a couple thousand colonists?
Androids much better just unblinkingly watching people die and they might or might not be chuckling about it or planned it that way rather than openly genocidal
― Never changed username before (cardamon), Monday, 25 September 2017 10:03 (six years ago) link
see, for me, the awful choices and general dumbness of the characters just adds to the nightmarish sense of dread. maybe I'm just more eager to dump my suspension of disbelief for this franchise I dunno.
I do take this point - in this and Prometheus you can see that at least part of the intended vibe is meant to be terrible things happening in a free associative way, things that no human can even understand! - it's just that this is one of several competing vibes which, as it plays out, get drowned out or clash against each other.
― Never changed username before (cardamon), Monday, 25 September 2017 10:06 (six years ago) link
life under trump has made general dumbness of characters thrust in absurd positions of responsibility a prerequisite now.
― Philip Nunez, Monday, 25 September 2017 16:59 (six years ago) link
Agree wiith all the above disdain for Covenant. Ebert's Idiot rule employed so repeatedly in a visually dark and blandly staffed film made this a slog to view. Having watched Life recently, seems like quarantine protocol gets the same respect the Prime Directive got in original Trek. How hard would it be to write the characters as sensible, and tighten the plot? And the sexy shower scene? Wish I could say that's when the movie reminded me of later Nightmare on Elm Street movies, but that was much earlier. Clumsy and bad.
On the plus side, it was a free library borrow, so just out the time.
― the body of a spider... (scampering alpaca), Wednesday, 27 September 2017 00:13 (six years ago) link
The slog continues:
Appearing as a guest on Empire Magazine’s official podcast, Ridley Scott revealed the next proposed Alien film will explore A.I.s gone rogue."I think the evolution of the Alien himself is nearly over, but what I was trying to do was transcend and move to another story, which would be taken over by A.I.’s. The world that the AI might create as a leader if he finds himself on a new planet. We have actually quite a big layout for the next one."
"I think the evolution of the Alien himself is nearly over, but what I was trying to do was transcend and move to another story, which would be taken over by A.I.’s. The world that the AI might create as a leader if he finds himself on a new planet. We have actually quite a big layout for the next one."
― Ned Raggett, Monday, 9 October 2017 14:27 (six years ago) link
I can only laugh at this point
― mh, Monday, 9 October 2017 14:27 (six years ago) link
i'm imagining someone running, running, running away from a vast rolling circular historied franchise as it bears pitilessly down on him: "Forward!" he thinks to himself, "forward! I must go forward! The only escape is forward!"
― mark s, Monday, 9 October 2017 14:33 (six years ago) link
Like, does he think people walked out of "Alien" 38 years ago saying, "What I'd love is to find out more about that Ash guy. What was up with that?"
― Monster fatberg (Phil D.), Monday, 9 October 2017 14:33 (six years ago) link
Fine with that, at least he recognises what the most interesting aspect of the last two films has been.
― Andrew Farrell, Monday, 9 October 2017 14:43 (six years ago) link
lol mark
― good art is orange; great art is teal (wins), Monday, 9 October 2017 14:55 (six years ago) link
150 minutes of infinite fassbenders demonstrating their fingering prowess on each other or gtfo
― ATTACK MY RUSTY TOOLBOX (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 9 October 2017 14:55 (six years ago) link
otm
― mh, Monday, 9 October 2017 14:57 (six years ago) link
Alien: Fisting
― Ned Raggett, Monday, 9 October 2017 15:03 (six years ago) link
they don't call him Fistbanger for nothing
― pulled pork state of mind (Noodle Vague), Monday, 9 October 2017 16:27 (six years ago) link
wasn't a robot by himself on a new planet already the setup for the last movie? i guess it could be kind of funny if it's just fassbender trying to get a thousand xenomorphs to follow his flute-based commands like the pied piper. no no, hang the drapes higher, i said, line them up with - oh god dammit let's just start over...
― Doctor Casino, Monday, 9 October 2017 17:42 (six years ago) link
he won't be done until he can get a xenomorph to play the flute
― mh, Monday, 9 October 2017 17:46 (six years ago) link
Started watching Covenant in short episodic bursts just to placate the awful god Curiousity. I guess it was implicit in Prometheus but I was surprised when in the first few minutes Weyland came out as an evolution denier. A very flawed foundation for the whole filmic enterprise to be built on.
― angelo irishagreementi (ledge), Saturday, 14 October 2017 08:25 (six years ago) link
xpost Gonna have to evolve some opposable thumbs first.
― Josh in Chicago, Saturday, 14 October 2017 12:21 (six years ago) link
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DAswFNNXoAALf-3.jpg
― mark s, Saturday, 14 October 2017 12:29 (six years ago) link
its modal phase, i guess
― mark s, Saturday, 14 October 2017 12:30 (six years ago) link
not that it isn't already in some respects but i would like to see the series branch towards a more 'buddy comedy' strain
― Philip Nunez, Saturday, 14 October 2017 16:57 (six years ago) link
read that as "buddy cop" for a sec. which i could see more easily. one's a robot, one's a xenomorph. to track a killer, they're going to have to work together.
― Doctor Casino, Saturday, 14 October 2017 17:11 (six years ago) link
When one's a host and the other's a parasite, symbiosis ain't always easy!
― jmm, Saturday, 14 October 2017 17:16 (six years ago) link
maybe it could be like hitoshi awaaki's parasyte, where the xenomorph fails to launch and our hero is a teenaged boy with an extra inner jaw that talks back to him and thirsts for blood. or he could have a facehugger for a hand I guess but at that point they really would have to buy the rights.
― Doctor Casino, Saturday, 14 October 2017 17:19 (six years ago) link
1000-year-old David is pulled from hypersleep to track down Predator: "I'm too old for this shit! I'm just two weeks from retirement!"Arnold as Blade Runner, decapitates David: "Considuh yourself retiyahed."
― Philip Nunez, Saturday, 14 October 2017 17:23 (six years ago) link