Craigslist hilarity

obvi these people are a collective piece of work but "likes painting other people's nails" as a nice-to-have really sticks out

can't the wealthy just hire domestics like they used to, why do they have to make servitude into a lifestyle brand

because gig economy

actually, it sounds like they want a dog au pair

I was kind of o_O a couple years ago about a coworker who had an au pair but in retrospect, room and board for someone who watches your kid and helps out around the house while they aren't in class seemed less horrible after a while

(max of 5 drinks per week)

Able to swim well in the ocean (dog likes swimming; you may need to get him when he goes out too far)

all of the personal grooming (of other people!!) stuff seems really fucking weird though

what if our dog au pair could also brush my hair and do my nails? just spitballing, here

Willing and happy to clean up occasional dog vomit and/or diarrhea

I'm happiest when cleaning up diarrhea. But I have a minimum of 5 drinks per week.

I have 5 drinks, all at once, but only when cleaning up dog diarrhea. Drink of choice? Gin with dog diarrhea.

Sufjan noooo

lol @ the first thing you have to tell them in your 5 minute video is how much you loved their post.

xp sorry, sufjan's assistant here. trying to keep those post numbers up.

Experience with long hair in general (you have long hair and know how to brush tangled hair without causing pain)

Wait are they talking about the lady or the dog there>?

the man

's pubic hair

https://sfbay.craigslist.org/eby/act/d/wanted-woman-who-wants-to/6256316306.html

Wanted woman who wants to conceive child during totality eclipse in OR (concord / pleasant hill / martinez)

I am 40 years of age, caucasian male from Europe. My heritage is strong and pure.

My looks, instincts, knowledge and strength is 100% pure and 100% lethal.

I am looking for a worthy female with strong genes, beauty and smarts. To join me - to experience the totality eclipse in Oregon.

Exact place not set.

If we have chemistry, I would like for us to make love while the eclipse is happening.

When totality occurs, we will have simultaneous orgasms and we will conceive a child that will be on the next level of human evolution.

We will make love together, with me and my penis directed towards the sun.
Everything will be aligned in the local universe.
Both of our cosmic orgasmic energy will be aligned with the planets.

In a brief moment of ecstasy, we will understand everything, and together, create a new universe. Full of love...

You must like cats. Drugs are OK. Nitrous Oxide while we climax and experience totality and conception, is OK with me.

I just.

Can we change the name from "Craigslist" to "Here Be Crazy"?

lol whut

and...nitrous?

commercial with a crazy person failing to direct his erection toward the eclipsed sun >>> elderly man and woman in pre coital spa day

If he's gonna be waving that thing at the sun there probably isn't going to be any conception happening.

they said solar sex would never overtake coal mine sex bc you have to track the sun

http://bc.ctvnews.ca/prank-intimate-encounter-ads-sending-people-into-strangers-homes-1.3538819

US Congress just passed HR 1865, "FOSTA", seeking to subject websites to criminal and civil liability when third parties (users) misuse online personals unlawfully.

Any tool or service can be misused. We can't take such risk without jeopardizing all our other services, so we are regretfully taking craigslist personals offline. Hopefully we can bring them back some day.

To the millions of spouses, partners, and couples who met through craigslist, we wish you every happiness!

Wow

The whole bill has major ripple effects for Net Neutrality and independent message boards.

Hard to imagine Tinder and OKCupid surviving this, I think, based on sex workers moving further to those platforms as theirs disappear.

yeah this is bad on multiple levels

SESTA/FOSTA is already having a chilling effect on sex workers' ability to discuss their work online, putting any attempt at organizing or harm reduction in serious jeopardy. https://t.co/MIll9q6OFe

— Lower Manhattan DSA (@DSA_L_Manhattan) March 22, 2018

It's reminiscent of the Patriot Act. Members of Congress are stuck in a bad situation -- what, they're going to vote *against* the Patriot Act / *for* sex trafficking? And also in the sense that the bill is only getting real publicity now that is has passed.

It’s probably flagrantly unconstitutional in some respect, right?

sorta like drone wars

I suppose it’s easier to litigate the first amendment than drone wars

Next step after Craigslist shutting down dating related to ^^:

And Backpage is gone.

This is a genuinely terrifying day for anyone who relied on Backpage & Cracker to connect with potential clients.

This move specifically impacts low-income trans, queer and POC sex workers - the workers most at risk of abuse, who most NEED these spaces.

— 🎮 Lucie Bee 🎮 (@theluciebee) April 6, 2018

https://littlerock.craigslist.org/zip/d/full-size-wax-figures-dressed/6565221626.html
https://images.craigslist.org/00P0P_dHAVTwGXEPA_600x450.jpg
Looking to get rid of 40 full-sized wax figures in Amish wardrobe. They're simply taking up too much space.

Varying sizes, ages and details on these figures.

There are 5 female figures, 3 children figures, about 32 male figures and 1 dog. Five of the men and the dog are mechanical. The parts are removable and some are disassembled but can be assembled for viewing.

Was hoping to sell these but it would really just be helpful to get them out of my shop.

Text or call any time. Willing to help with delivery

https://littlerock.craigslist.org/zip/d/human-sized-steel-cage/6565214946.html
Human Sized Steel Cage (West Little Rock)
https://images.craigslist.org/00r0r_1rFMY1Fust3_600x450.jpg
Whoever texts or calls with the best potential use for this cage will get it free of charge.
(don't be timid)

It is 6'1'' tall by 4x4 base

welded steel

extremely sturdy

approx 200 Lbs

2 people can easily move it

I am willing to deliver or assist in loading it up

shoot me a text

"There are 5 female figures, 3 children figures, about 32 male figures and 1 dog. Five of the men and the dog are mechanical. The parts are removable and some are disassembled but can be assembled for viewing.
...
― andrew m., Thursday, April 19, 2018 4:20 PM (sixteen minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink"

WWT crowd filler?

maybe the children figures could be allowed at an all-ages show

Little Rock? Get on it PP!

thread is crushing it

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/hou/6565526716.html

Well that was a fine thing to read first thing in the morning. Lol that was hilarious!!

outstanding

https://littlerock.craigslist.org/mat/d/have-nice-franch-doors-250-obo/6738611879.html

I have a nice franch doors

actually i've priced new franch doors and 250 ain't bad atoll

call me vince

you'll be best off if you do

inside of a slot machine it's too dark to read

https://littlerock.craigslist.org/ele/d/conway-inside-of-slot-machine/6770230281.html

https://losangeles.craigslist.org/lac/zip/d/los-angeles-free-embalming-fluid/6779896145.html

FREE EMBALMING FLUID (Los Angeles)

The guy on Reddit over-estimated how much I'd need for my Mom and her Pomeranian, so I have six quarts of leftover embalming fluid. It's currently at my life-coach's in Beaumont, so I'll need at least 48 hours advance notice. Willing to trade the very well preserved Pomeranian for a hammock. If interested in just the fluid, text or email a photo of Don Garlits. If interested in just the Pomeranian, text or email a trade offer, along with a photo of Artis Gilmore. If interested in both the fluid and the Pomeranian, text or email an offer, along with a photo of Dino Stamatopoulos. Serious replies only.

"I tried using this dishwasher you sold me and it smashed all my dishes and glassware to bits. Something's wrong with it"

https://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/app/d/falls-church-dishwasher-miele-like-new/6786417587.html