Who Wants to Marry A Totally Broke Dude?

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FUCK NO!!!!!! We were just kids! We're great friends now!!! Do you think I would recommend a friend for such a thing if it wasn't truly a good idea? COME ON!

― Bryan (Bryan), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 19:57 (twenty-one years ago) link

Sh can make up her own mind, Horace!

― Bryan (Bryan), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 19:58 (twenty-one years ago) link

Maybe now is the time for me to bow out gracefully, and go back to my regularly scheduled spinster librarian life.

― Jodi (Celerina), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 20:01 (twenty-one years ago) link

I like the way you pass her around like a box of Altoids, then assert that she can make up own mind. ;-)

If you don't drive, H, how are you going to get ot the Bump 'n Pit?

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 20:02 (twenty-one years ago) link

chickenshit.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 20:02 (twenty-one years ago) link

CRAP! This will be my last post to ILX... FAREWELL!

― Bryan (Bryan), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 20:02 (twenty-one years ago) link

(oh yeah, name-calling, that's how to smoove the ladies, Horace, kicking it old skool, kicking it pre-skool, even)

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 20:03 (twenty-one years ago) link

She was the one who said she was all the things you listed, I really think Bryan was just trying to say 'hey, I know her, she's great, she's not a psycho, you could make a worse choice,' instead of 'yeah I've hit that, go for it.'

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 20:04 (twenty-one years ago) link

I know, luna, this is all ridiculous.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 20:05 (twenty-one years ago) link

ps, Jodi, email me about Bump & Pit.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 20:06 (twenty-one years ago) link

Good Luck, Horace!

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 20:08 (twenty-one years ago) link

marriage is a dud

― Mary (Mary), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 21:20 (twenty-one years ago) link

how come?

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 21:31 (twenty-one years ago) link

I'm sorry, Horace, but it's the Elegant Moose, or nothing.

― Jodi (Celerina), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 22:11 (twenty-one years ago) link

My ex didn't want to marry a broke bloke. Heartless wretch!

― Badger (Badger), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 22:51 (twenty-one years ago) link

Where are you a broker, Horace? Do you like baseball? Can you cook?

― f.r. (felicity), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 22:56 (twenty-one years ago) link

nothing against married people, or those who support the institution, but in my view it's just two insecurities desperate for affirmation

― Mary (Mary), Thursday, 8 May 2003 01:22 (twenty-one years ago) link

Mary will you marry me?

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 8 May 2003 01:23 (twenty-one years ago) link

― Mary (Mary), Thursday, 8 May 2003 01:26 (twenty-one years ago) link

Hot damn...the first double-ILX wedding!

― j.lu (j.lu), Thursday, 8 May 2003 01:52 (twenty-one years ago) link

Mary will you ally me?

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 8 May 2003 01:56 (twenty-one years ago) link

Well, I see that you lot are, without prompting, trying to convince straight Saskatchwani men that it's in their best interest to be gay. And you did it all without me even being aware of it. Clearly my work here is done.

― Chris P (Chris P), Thursday, 8 May 2003 02:07 (twenty-one years ago) link

Clearly, Chris, your work is just beginning!

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 8 May 2003 04:20 (twenty-one years ago) link

Hm. Maybe I haven't been rendered superfluous after all!

― Chris P (Chris P), Thursday, 8 May 2003 04:26 (twenty-one years ago) link

I've rendered bacon.

Bacon is never superfluous.

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 8 May 2003 04:31 (twenty-one years ago) link

Mmm, bacon. The only reason I'm not a vegetarian.

― Jodi (Celerina), Thursday, 8 May 2003 04:34 (twenty-one years ago) link

Me too. Oh, and meat.

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 8 May 2003 04:35 (twenty-one years ago) link

Seems a shame to say anything here after that magical exchange, but I hereby rescind my self-imposed ban from posting, however reluctantly. Jodi knows I meant well and that's all that matters.

― Bryan (Bryan), Thursday, 8 May 2003 15:55 (twenty-one years ago) link

Booyah!

― Sarah Mclusky (coco), Thursday, 8 May 2003 15:55 (twenty-one years ago) link

also, I will insist on a pre-nup.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Thursday, 8 May 2003 16:07 (twenty-one years ago) link

Is that like foreplay?

― Chris P (Chris P), Thursday, 8 May 2003 16:36 (twenty-one years ago) link

No, that'll be when they start whispering sweet nup-nups in each other's ears.

― Bryan (Bryan), Thursday, 8 May 2003 16:41 (twenty-one years ago) link

"That'd have to be in the nup, Bob."

― Chris P (Chris P), Thursday, 8 May 2003 16:43 (twenty-one years ago) link

I just want to make sure that when the marriage goes sour, my betrothed will agree to take half my worthless junk with her.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Thursday, 8 May 2003 16:55 (twenty-one years ago) link

I only have a one-bedroom apartment. Just how much crap have you got?

― Jodi (Celerina), Thursday, 8 May 2003 17:03 (twenty-one years ago) link

Actually, I just moved into a zero bedroom apt (better, and more suitably known as a bachelor suite), and the local community radio station is having a fund-raising garage sale in a month, so I have gotten rid of most of my useless crap.
Useless things I kept:
Spongebob party decorations (my suite is too small for a party)
A Tahitian Lady whisk broom (she's topless [no nipples, though], a gift from my sister who though it was a hula girl, as I've lately had a fondness for indiginous [or whatever would be the best way to say non-hokey] Hawaiian culture, esp. music)
three Star Wars Pez dispensers (Darth Vader, Boba Fett and Chewbacca)
one Incredible Hulk Pez dispenser (that I've had since I was a wee Mann)
three frying pans (I really only need one, really)
cheque stubs from my formerly burgeoning freelance writing career
all the Kerouac books that I bought and read when I was 18/19 and wanted to BE him.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Thursday, 8 May 2003 17:10 (twenty-one years ago) link

Well, to be fair, you should list all your useful possessions as well.

― Chris P (Chris P), Thursday, 8 May 2003 17:30 (twenty-one years ago) link

Yes, that would be helpful. Do you have a vacuum cleaner?

― Jodi (Celerina), Thursday, 8 May 2003 17:31 (twenty-one years ago) link

Dammit, I said useful possessions.

― Chris P (Chris P), Thursday, 8 May 2003 17:34 (twenty-one years ago) link

You're Kerouac to me, Horace. Kerouac with novelty Hawaiian frills.

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Thursday, 8 May 2003 17:47 (twenty-one years ago) link

How big is your TV, Horace? I could use a bigger TV.

― Jodi (Celerina), Thursday, 8 May 2003 17:48 (twenty-one years ago) link

He doesn't have one!

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Thursday, 8 May 2003 17:48 (twenty-one years ago) link

I have a non-electric vacuum-looking roller thing. I only have an area rug, the rest is hardwood (the WHOLE rest of it).

okay, useful things:
A great chef's knife (picked up a Safeway on Saturday for a song--and a dance, I love my Safeway, before a week ago today, I was only half a block away from it, I was there everyday, sometimes as many as three times, now I'm four blocks away)
a decent bike (two-wheeler)
a nice coffee table
a single-bed futon
a pull-out couch that's actually very light
a bunch of CDs in every genre except classical (someday, though, I'll finally explore opera)
a laptop computer
a remarkable amount of notebooks
a playstation (not PS2)
a small colour tv (used only for video games, and rarely at that even)
an unabridged edition of The Count of Monte Cristo in increasingly ill-repair (in direct result with my refusal to be further than five feet away from it all times)
a half-full bottle of exquisite Scotch
two bottles of Pilsner beer
two vine-ripened tomatoes
one celery stalk
half a bag of frozen perogies
an almost full bottle of Dijonaisse
three whole-grain bagels
an almost empty container of mediteranean salsa cream cheese
one box of pure orange juice
a nylon mesh baseball cap that reads "It Took Me 85 Years To Look This Good"
a poster of Ernest Hemingway shaking hands with Fidel Castro
a lock for said decent bike
three bookshelves full of assorted books
a nose for news

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Thursday, 8 May 2003 17:48 (twenty-one years ago) link

http://www.angelfire.com/ct2/swift/Allison.jpg

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Thursday, 8 May 2003 17:51 (twenty-one years ago) link

I thought your lady took the tv, Horace! You lied on ILX, shame on you.

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Thursday, 8 May 2003 17:52 (twenty-one years ago) link

no, I got (a shitty little) one from my brother, quite unexpectedly.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Thursday, 8 May 2003 17:53 (twenty-one years ago) link

That picture is from a google for "Hawaiian crap", btw.

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Thursday, 8 May 2003 18:01 (twenty-one years ago) link

all things considered, that's nowhere near as bad as it could have been.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Thursday, 8 May 2003 18:03 (twenty-one years ago) link

Also, Jodi, you should be aware, as I became during my morning bath, that I have very large feet, and large toes, even in proportion to my big-fat feet.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 9 May 2003 13:48 (twenty-one years ago) link

Are you very unsubtly trying to tell her that you are extremely well-hung???

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Friday, 9 May 2003 14:01 (twenty-one years ago) link

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