L@@K! Photos from Real Estate Listings (see remarks)

otoh only a 12-minute drive to wal-mart

I'd say 50/50 risk of dying by fire or drowning

graboids also an ever-present risk

Getting some serious Wolfenstein 3D vibes here.

The living room with its *counts silently to self for a few moments* 7 or 8 closets is definitely something from a Scooby Doo cartoon.

http://i.imgur.com/n0ekGIY.jpg

i'd also be shocked if it can be legally rented what with having no windows and all - thing's a gigantic fire trap.

The magic word you said there ma have been "rented," but I am slightly infatuated with underground homes. Hey, they're easy to heat and cool.

Check this one out.

I'm not sure I could use the word "pavilionized" correctly in a sentence.

So you build a 3,000 pound door from rare woods and craft these amazing staircases and then you pick the BEIGE CARPET and THAT SOFA.

haha. total architecture-school or art-historical word. basically what you see in that floorplan, where spaces become their own distinct shapes, like they're budding off of each other for example. a whole hershey bar is a single pavilion but if you break up all the pieces of chocolate - as if each was its own pavilion/gazebo/object - you're looking at some pavilionization there.

totally not satanic at all

great long hallways to run screaming from your captor

loltm

I'm very curious about the floorplan of that woodwork house. Also I wonder if they have time to RenFaire on the weekends and/or where they stockpile the guns.

I did some slight dosing on them once I realized they were from my state.

They own a woodworking shop in the nearest town and have visited the Holy Land multiple times.

I don't know which is worse - the word I was trying to say, "doxxing," or the autocorrected one, "dosing."

Take your pick.

https://ssl.cdn-redfin.com/photo/159/bigphoto/979/3928979_12_0.jpg

https://itcouldbecrappier.files.wordpress.com/2015/07/acslater_crop.jpg

Is that A.C. Slater hovering in the clouds?

Is that Minneapolis?

And if so, is that Paul Westerberg?

cleveland yo

http://i.imgur.com/ADpVTJB.jpg

Sure, they're all moved around, but I still thought I spotted the IDS and Norwest Wells Fargo buildings.

hmm, my first impression was Jonathan Silverman

Hello there. May I show you the greatest real estate listing in human history? This is a thread about it.https://t.co/mRzplQQJI0

— Gabriel Rosenberg (@gnrosenberg) August 19, 2017

epic

that is out of this world.

comments on that twitter thread spin off into some bizarre directions tho :-/

Absence of hand rails made me nervous for once.

- "So is the current owner a follower of Christ?"
- "Yeah? Christ... and horses."

https://i.imgur.com/Mp9G9Ff.jpg
_______________________________________________

- "I've had a lot of people ask about this property, won't be on the market for long?"
- "Do you mean this showcase, or the rest of this Ashley Furniture store you've taken me to?"

https://i.imgur.com/gxwCfxS.jpg
_______________________________________________

https://i.imgur.com/v4lL1by.jpg

"Well, the architect got to thinkin', What if the postman didn't have to walk all through the house to get to Mr. Bumstead?"
_______________________________________________

https://i.imgur.com/KLVSuCe.jpg

"Honestly, to get the full effect of this fabulous room, you have to wait until midnight when you're neighbor backs in with his high-beams on."
_______________________________________________

"Well that's silly. You know 'War of the Worlds' was a hoax, right?"

https://i.imgur.com/H3q5NlN.jpg
_______________________________________________

https://i.imgur.com/K2MASBp.jpg

"So the gas main is right behind this mirror then? Great! My three-year old grandson will love it."

https://i.imgur.com/OxZp1Oy.jpg

What is even the point of having this huge mirror here instead of two regular ones hanging side by side?

https://i.imgur.com/pjR56YG.jpg

And I know, after talking shit about mirrors, I have to contradict myself by asking, Know what this room sure could use?

https://i.imgur.com/tb3M7QY.jpg

And all those mirrors, it wasn't until the exterior shot that the photographer finally slips.

https://i.imgur.com/PwKMG36.jpg

"Spaghetti? I don't know, sonny, let me see if I have any sauce...."

https://i.imgur.com/QUQ3bE2.jpg

i looked at that listing before the twitter thread and did not notice any of the bizarrely staged items. i did notice the electric range and the huge grill in the kids' bedroom.

lol dunno why but the mirroring-over of a wall that has a fireplace in it seems the most bizarre thing about all of that

shower off of the deck isn't CRAZY if it's a really secluded location, y'know, gaze out at the trees during the morning rinse, breath deep and think pleasant thoughts. or i guess if you go hiking a lot from there and want a convenient spot to rinse or w/e. the toilet on the other hand is totally unacceptable.

THe door past the shower is at the top of the stairs in the pic below. I dunno, still seems weird to me to have such a semi-exterior door RIGHT THERE next to the stall.

https://i.imgur.com/DpX8rnu.jpg

yeah that's pretty weird with the 'public' feeling deck right there. i might just be associating it with beach houses where it's nice to have a 'sand shower' on your way in, but ime that can and should be an entirely outdoor fixture on the deck itself.

Boy, there's just something about this one... seems so familiar....

https://i.imgur.com/dw201lV.jpg

Hmmmm.

Trayce?

https://i.imgur.com/UvkwIwL.jpg

Ever hear the expression, "shit rolls downhill?"

https://i.imgur.com/sCrZGOy.jpg

And now, here's one from a professional:

Coincidentally, these are the same wild horses that won’t stop me redecorating the second I move in.https://t.co/xlUG9cqfib pic.twitter.com/hOhT2Mswz3

— Bad Realty Photos (@BadRealtyPhotos) September 4, 2017

https://i.imgur.com/iSyKdYH.jpg

And you say to yourself, gosh, that's a lot of snow for a subdivision down south.

https://memegenerator.net/img/images/50x50/11874195.jpg Stay tuned for THE REST OF THE STORY.

"It needs some work, but for $129,000, it'd be a bargain."

"Needs some work? No, I'm sorry, this listing is for the car."

https://i.imgur.com/7HnSC9j.jpg

"Even if there were squirrels up there, you could always smoke 'em out with your barbecue grill."

https://i.imgur.com/AEn26rV.jpg

Ever get a new pair of glasses and suddenly feel like you're 1.2 inches shorter?

https://i.imgur.com/u5qrLPZ.jpg

''It was a dark and stormy – Hey, dog! Quit staring at me!"

https://i.imgur.com/2Zd3g4T.jpg

room where cujo was written

lol

pplains you are doing god’s work itt, i live for these updates

thought of this thread recently when I saw this thoroughly depressing Queens NYC listing:

https://www.redfin.com/NY/Unknown/59-51-69th-Pl-11378/home/20901305?utm_source=myredfin&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=recommendations_update&riftinfo=ZXY9ZW1haWwmbD0xMDIzODk1OCZwPWxpc3RpbmdfdXBkYXRlc19yZWNvbW1lbmRhdGlvbnMmdHM9MTUxNzk0OTYwNzIwMCZhPWNsaWNrJnM9cmVjb21tZW5kYXRpb25zJnQ9aW1hZ2UmZW1haWxfaWQ9MTAyMzg5NThfMTUxNzk0OTYwN182JnVwZGF0ZV90eXBlPTE0JmxpbHJfc2NvcmU9MC4wMDkyJmxpc3RpbmdfaWQ9Nzk1NDM4MzgmcHJvcGVydHlfaWQ9MjA5MDEzMDUmcG9zaXRpb25fbnVtYmVyPTE%3D
https://ssl.cdn-redfin.com/photo/79/mbpaddedwide/279/genMid.3002279_0.jpg

That little hovel will set you back near 3/4 million

that doghouse one looks like a prerendered environment for a late 90s point and click adventure game nobody liked

utm_source=myredfin&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=recommendations_update&riftinfo=ZXY9ZW1haWwmbD0xMDIzODk1OCZwPWxpc3RpbmdfdXBkYXRlc19yZWNvbW1lbmRhdGlvbnMmdHM9MTUxNzk0OTYwNzIwMCZhPWNsaWNrJnM9cmVjb21tZW5kYXRpb25zJnQ9aW1hZ2UmZW1haWxfaWQ9MTAyMzg5NThfMTUxNzk0OTYwN182JnVwZGF0ZV90eXBlPTE0JmxpbHJfc2NvcmU9MC4wMDkyJmxpc3RpbmdfaWQ9Nzk1NDM4MzgmcHJvcGVydHlfaWQ9MjA5MDEzMDUmcG9zaXRpb25fbnVtYmVyPTE%3D

that doghouse one looks like a prerendered environment for a late 90s point and click adventure game nobody liked

haha.

>TURN ON LIGHT.

>The light is on.

>TYPE ON TYPEWRITER

>There is no paper.

>PUT PAPER IN TYPEWRITER

>There is no paper.

https://is1-ssl.mzstatic.com/image/thumb/Purple69/v4/4f/3f/ea/4f3feac1-2267-1763-c605-11d64fa27fbf/source/643x0w.jpg

omg

unsurprisingly, John McAfee's house is ugly

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/90-Beasley-Dr-Lexington-TN-38351/81194538_zpid/

Doesn't look all that secure to me.

https://i.imgur.com/H5czC8A.jpg

From GoodBubbas, where Tommy Joe shoots Lil' Weevil for backtalk.