Hell Is Other People At Breakfast - Caring For Your Introvert

Thanks, El Tomboto. What kind of structure? Setting myself stricter deadlines for tasks involving communication? I fear I am too bad at ignoring self-imposed attempts at structure but of course it's a good skill to practise and I should do more of that.

I used to have a boss who I could call on for backup if anyone wouldn't take no for an answer, but the current one is hard to get hold of and I don't trust him to fight our corner

A colleague is leaving at the end of the month and is "giving a leaving lecture" because he finds that less awkward than going down the pub. This is not an academic colleague, btw.

APS, Yes, like do one uncomfortable thing every other day. Alternate home/personal with work tasks. Treat it like exercising.

Deadlines aren't useful but habits are.

Also "every other day" can be it's own reward mechanism, in that doing the thing means you get to not do it the day after

This is a thing I need to do in many respects, so, good idea to at least try out.

Also "every other day" can be it's own reward mechanism, in that doing the thing means you get to not do it the day after

I like this thinking!

Scik, what's the leaving lecture going to be about, do you know?

I have found my previous traditional leaving drinks/pub lunches kind of awkward and embarrassing, but public speaking is actively horrifying and having to prepare a talk is exactly the kind of thing I put off forever, so no way would I swap.

I can't believe I just fucked up the apostrophe its

gonna give a lecture when i move out of my apartment

it's gonna be about DOOR-SLAMMING and HALLWAY VOICES

https://scontent-lga3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/31901827_10157401265114148_6592763726934310912_n.jpg?_nc_cat=0&oh=b7eaafd442efd1f183e4d6ed59a52494&oe=5B9C1D2E

Yes, thank you (although I would argue that most meetings could skip the call step and go straight to email).

That you have to have someone call you so you can adjust the ringer volume on your office phone is actually pretty funny.

lol had to do that today after getting a new headset...was used to being able to do test calls on Skype for Business but now we're on Teams who know

Usually experience holidays as a kind of a They Shoot Horses, Don’t They non-stop marathon of talking by the extroverts.

Every boring story is another you’ve gotta hear this! Dick’s Picks version of “Dark Star.”

Perhaps with this I have already alienated a good portion of the posters who have frequented this thread.

It is a choice one makes as an alternative to being alone. It could be fortunate to have a choice.
Family in particular ... why do we care what they say?

As someone who is often extremely extroverted but then has to recoup that energy later with some low-demand days, I'm balancing today between people I have to put a TON of energy into being around, ie people who I'm not on the same wavelength as, so I have to heavily moderate my behavior/reactions...and later, going to see people who are very low-effort ie we're on the same page on so many things that being around them is a pleasure.

More of the latter in my life, pls.

I mean idk if that's being extro OR intro-verted, I think it's just "being around people" but whatever.

amen to the latter

It's folks who talk about themselves at length but never once think to ask how I'm doing that I cannot be doing with anymore, which sadly is 90% of my wife's extended family.

Sorry. Feeling that one.

Seems to me some people just keep talking the way they would keep the engine running in their car so their battery won’t die.

when I used to hang out with people my favourites were those who talked about themselves without wanting or expecting any reciprocity

This is a interesting point. People talking about themselves at length is fine as long as they are picking up on the subtle or not-so-subtle cues of body language and such on whether you want to keep listening.

Which is similar to what MaresNest said.

I only learned “body language” is real a few years ago, I had thought it was made up for detective stories

i’m hyper-aware of body language & micro-expressions so my stories are like two sentences long bc i’ll cut it short at the slightest hint of boredom

but my inner self just constantly tells me to shut up even when ppl seem intetested so i’m a better listener than talker lol

I feel like I'm a pretty good listener and am genuinely interested in other people's lives.

I don't think I really require much reciprocal engagement, but when someone is sorta stuck on transmit all the while, I begin to get nervous and wonder why I'm even here.

Otm