Let's all laugh at the Universal Dark Universe

Only very very tangentially related because Scorpion King but I just saw the comedy issue of GQ on the stands yesterday, featuring everybody's favorite funnyman Dwayne Johnson on the cover.

is that the one with the caity weaver profile of the rock? cuz that's a great piece (as caity weaver articles invariably are, tbf)

I couldn't say, as I never got past those bulging biceps or those dreamy eyes staring back at me from the rack.

Stare into them, deeply

http://media.gq.com/photos/5911e2845607d02ba9e29932/master/w_800/The-Rock-Cover.jpg

we're usually on the same page on pop-culture, old lunch, but if you're not on the dwayne johnson hype-train too i dunno if we can be friends anymore, i'm sorry

and the caity weaver hype-train tbh

Here's my hot Rock take (as I steer this train all the way off the rails): he seems like a swell dude and I like him just fine as a personality but I'm pretty unenthused about his presence in non-action movies (aside from his role in The Other Guys, which he will likely never top because how can you top one of the greatest moments in Western culture).

No beef with Caity Weaver!

I guess by that metric, Dwayne Johnson is partially responsible for one of my most hysterical laughing jags ever and so maybe he does belong in the comedy HOF after all.

Let's all laugh with Dwayne Johnson in the Universal Rock Universe.

If this Dark Universe thing does take off and he doesn't make at least a cameo reprising his role, I'll eat my hat.

the rock is the maybe closest we'll ever have to a real-life superman

i love him

In the new FastFurious, he leads a soccer team of 10 year old girls in a haka

Dwayne the Rock Johnson is entertainment itself

I think the nu-fast films are sorta insanely overrated and even I think the rock is a delight

Which means it'll instead be Hart & Johnson Meet The Scorpion King.

Universal has no idea how to make movies people actually want to see and I think the Fast & Furious franchise was successful on accident

Johnson is really good in a lot of things - I still maintain his performance in Pain & Gain was award-worthy, and Snitch didn't get nearly the audience it deserved. But I'm glad the Baywatch movie face-planted commercially.

The Rundown is an overlooked classic

Universal Horror shared Universe (2017-soon)

There was already a big thread.

Ah thanks! I was wondering where the heck it was.

So which one shall we use?

This one is funnier and is now about The Rock so uh, this one

have any of you jabronis read this front to back cuz I have
https://images.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fs-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com%2F736x%2Fe5%2Fd3%2Ffb%2Fe5d3fb62c371381ca56dd1d5299f0422.jpg&f=1

(fuck the Rock btw)

dude clearly has political ambitions, something we should not encourage

Why did you read that?

Wasn't Spielberg saying a few years ago that half a dozen megabudget bombs with implode the film business? I think most these seem destined to bomb but maybe they'll just stop after a few flops?

But how you can resist Russell Crowe going EVIL

https://www.flickeringmyth.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Russell-Crowe-The-Mummy-600x409.png

It was in a recording studio we were in for a weekend. Good for a laff between takes.

Xp

Why did you read that?

Shakey actively engaging with something he despises? Never!

I dunno why these studios don't adopt the radical tactic of making films people might enjoy, then maybe thinking about a franchise after they're successful.

That was proposed but overruled due to planning considerations.

Always thought "the most electrifying man in sports entertainment" was a hilarious title.
He's always seemed very nice to me.

are you fucking kidding me pic.twitter.com/LtzPxH6hps

— Ali 🇵🇭 (@TheyCallMeYDG) June 9, 2017

I refuse to believe that's anything but a hack by DJP.

no, but I did retweet it

wat if Frankenstein but made by isis

― The Adventures Of Whiteman (Bananaman Begins), Thursday, 8 June 2017 2:08 AM (two days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Theres a novel by an iraqi writer that is being translated atm sort of about this, where the monster is made up of leftover bits of suicide bombers

Seventytwovirginstein

So this is getting terrible reviews, and it came in second to Wonder Woman (and had a worse opening than any of the Fraser Mummy movies). So this endeavor may already be toast.

First day, it got only $12M in US and Canada, but it got $19M in China and $17M in Korea. Grossed more than the budget already. It will probably make money. :(

if they stick shit in enought theaters it seems they always make money, but if it's not enough money above the budget then it's a problem.

Apparently Tom Cruise is still enough to sell a movie in many international markets. I realized today I haven't seen a Tom Cruise movie since Collateral.

They're still churning out new Cruise franchises somehow, or attempting to. You'd think he'd be content with Mission Impossible, but no, we end up with way-too-short Jack Reacher and monster hunter Mummy films

imo the mission impossible movies are fine, although they're definitely to the point where they're remaking the same film with different locations and directors now

The Mummy could be the biggest hit of the summer or the biggest flop and I don't think I would know either way.

Apparently Tom Cruise is still enough to sell a movie in many international markets. I realized today I haven't seen a Tom Cruise movie since Collateral.

Edge of Tomorrow is great, and tons of fun. As are the last two Mission Impossible movies.

otm about Edge of Tomorrow, even if they couldn't market it

The movie did well worldwide but the US opening weekend was bad news. The rest of the Dark Universe might wind up going the proposed route of the Warcraft sequel and get a theatrical release only in those overseas countries where it did well. Probably not since this Universal, but I have a hard time imagining that The Bride of Frankenstein (2019) is the one that's finally going to get this ill-planned party started.

Boutella and Michael Shannon are starring in Fahrenheit 451. So the chances of me seeing The Mummy are fading away.

tbh the biggest problem with The Mummy may have been that Alex Kurtzman is a total hack.

Did this get posted? I thought it was pretty funny:

http://crookedscoreboard.com/the-pitch-meeting-for-the-mummy/

Ha I noticed this thread and only just remembered that I saw this. I haven't really thought about it at all. It's a complete nothing movie.

The Red Letter review is pretty good. They more or less just dismiss the movie as "pathetic," and then talk about the cynicism of this whole enterprise.