'he who fights with universal monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a universal monster. and if you gaze long into a black lagoon, the creature also gazes into you'
― alcohol aficionado zane lamprey (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 8 June 2017 12:56 (six years ago) link
"The only thing we have to fear is a dracula."
― Sir Isaac Gluten (Old Lunch), Thursday, 8 June 2017 12:59 (six years ago) link
Knowledge is knowing that Frankenstein is not the monster. Wisdom is knowing that Igor is the bride.
― jmm, Thursday, 8 June 2017 13:06 (six years ago) link
lol @ bothering with this 'universe' crap for a load of long out of copyright characters
― The Adventures Of Whiteman (Bananaman Begins), Thursday, 8 June 2017 13:19 (six years ago) link
Ned probably started with that thread title, but crumpled it up
― El Tomboto, Thursday, 8 June 2017 13:21 (six years ago) link
It was a process of experimentation
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 8 June 2017 13:23 (six years ago) link
now i'm imagining ned working in the lab, late one night
― alcohol aficionado zane lamprey (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 8 June 2017 13:24 (six years ago) link
Is anyone actually planning to see The Mummy?
― jmm, Thursday, 8 June 2017 13:27 (six years ago) link
*crickets*
― alcohol aficionado zane lamprey (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 8 June 2017 13:32 (six years ago) link
even for slumming hollywood shit this is getting toxic reviews
― a serious and fascinating fartist (Simon H.), Thursday, 8 June 2017 13:33 (six years ago) link
It doesn't look even a little bit good or interesting. Universal's previous foray into Mummy-dom doesn't exactly give me any confidence that they're on the right track this time.
― Sir Isaac Gluten (Old Lunch), Thursday, 8 June 2017 13:34 (six years ago) link
Not so much for the sake of enjoying a schadenfreudegasm (which is just a pleasant side-effect), but I kinda want this to die on the vine in the hopes that these studios will stop thinking they can grow some expansive franchise out of a single, untested seed.
― Sir Isaac Gluten (Old Lunch), Thursday, 8 June 2017 13:38 (six years ago) link
i thought the first mummy reboot movie with brendan fraser was dumb fun, but there's nothing appealing about this one at all afaict
i only just found out russell crowe is in this as dr jekyll, which seems like a particularly egregious misuse of the shared-universe shoehorn
― alcohol aficionado zane lamprey (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 8 June 2017 13:39 (six years ago) link
Whut
― Sir Isaac Gluten (Old Lunch), Thursday, 8 June 2017 13:41 (six years ago) link
It's just kinda fucking dumb, too. Because he will surely only appear AS Dr. Jekyll, leaving us all to ponder HMMM WONDER WHAT WILL HAPPEN WITH THIS MYSTERY MAN IN THE FUTURE, OH THE MYSTERY OF IT ALL.
― Sir Isaac Gluten (Old Lunch), Thursday, 8 June 2017 13:43 (six years ago) link
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
It was great working with @RussellCrowe on #TheMummy (even though we were kicking each other's ass). pic.twitter.com/ZfPOWb7pVL— Tom Cruise (@TomCruise) June 7, 2017
― alcohol aficionado zane lamprey (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 8 June 2017 13:44 (six years ago) link
I think you mean licking, Tom.
― Bernie Lugg (Ward Fowler), Thursday, 8 June 2017 13:46 (six years ago) link
crowe's wearing one black glove in that fight scene so i assume he's already afflicted by monsterism
― alcohol aficionado zane lamprey (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 8 June 2017 13:46 (six years ago) link
fuck i just remembered that benicio del toro's wolfman only came out a few years ago and tanked too - man, they're really intent on doing this until something, anything sticks, aren't they
― alcohol aficionado zane lamprey (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 8 June 2017 13:47 (six years ago) link
xposts Oh, that's just Russell being Russell.
http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/259/034/857.jpg
― Sir Isaac Gluten (Old Lunch), Thursday, 8 June 2017 13:48 (six years ago) link
Yes, and when this one turfs out...well, obviously Bride of Frankenstein is the one that was REALLY intended to kick off the franchise. Naturally.
― Sir Isaac Gluten (Old Lunch), Thursday, 8 June 2017 13:49 (six years ago) link
I was joking earlier about them pulling their '50s sci-fi stuff into the mix at some point, but decent remakes of that stuff (and yes, a fucking "universe" if they must) would be infinitely more interesting than them cranking out the 5,819,392,492,813th Frankenstein movie in existence.
― Sir Isaac Gluten (Old Lunch), Thursday, 8 June 2017 13:51 (six years ago) link
i feel like there's potential to update frankenstein to explore contemporary stuff like genome-editing and growing spare parts for humans from scratch but uh let's say i don't have a lot of confidence they'll want to take any interesting approaches to the characters
― alcohol aficionado zane lamprey (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 8 June 2017 13:58 (six years ago) link
Looking forward to the 2024 slate of Renfield vs. Igor, Mohel of Frankenstein, and Abbott & Costello Fey & Poehler Meet the Scorpion King.
FTFM Universal.
― Diana Fire (j.lu), Thursday, 8 June 2017 14:45 (six years ago) link
Only very very tangentially related because Scorpion King but I just saw the comedy issue of GQ on the stands yesterday, featuring everybody's favorite funnyman Dwayne Johnson on the cover.
― Sir Isaac Gluten (Old Lunch), Thursday, 8 June 2017 14:47 (six years ago) link
is that the one with the caity weaver profile of the rock? cuz that's a great piece (as caity weaver articles invariably are, tbf)
― alcohol aficionado zane lamprey (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 8 June 2017 14:56 (six years ago) link
I couldn't say, as I never got past those bulging biceps or those dreamy eyes staring back at me from the rack.
― Sir Isaac Gluten (Old Lunch), Thursday, 8 June 2017 15:44 (six years ago) link
Stare into them, deeply
http://media.gq.com/photos/5911e2845607d02ba9e29932/master/w_800/The-Rock-Cover.jpg
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 8 June 2017 15:50 (six years ago) link
we're usually on the same page on pop-culture, old lunch, but if you're not on the dwayne johnson hype-train too i dunno if we can be friends anymore, i'm sorry
― alcohol aficionado zane lamprey (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 8 June 2017 15:54 (six years ago) link
and the caity weaver hype-train tbh
Here's my hot Rock take (as I steer this train all the way off the rails): he seems like a swell dude and I like him just fine as a personality but I'm pretty unenthused about his presence in non-action movies (aside from his role in The Other Guys, which he will likely never top because how can you top one of the greatest moments in Western culture).
No beef with Caity Weaver!
― Sir Isaac Gluten (Old Lunch), Thursday, 8 June 2017 16:00 (six years ago) link
I guess by that metric, Dwayne Johnson is partially responsible for one of my most hysterical laughing jags ever and so maybe he does belong in the comedy HOF after all.
― Sir Isaac Gluten (Old Lunch), Thursday, 8 June 2017 16:01 (six years ago) link
Let's all laugh with Dwayne Johnson in the Universal Rock Universe.
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 8 June 2017 16:03 (six years ago) link
If this Dark Universe thing does take off and he doesn't make at least a cameo reprising his role, I'll eat my hat.
― Sir Isaac Gluten (Old Lunch), Thursday, 8 June 2017 16:04 (six years ago) link
the rock is the maybe closest we'll ever have to a real-life superman
i love him
― alcohol aficionado zane lamprey (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 8 June 2017 16:05 (six years ago) link
In the new FastFurious, he leads a soccer team of 10 year old girls in a haka
Dwayne the Rock Johnson is entertainment itself
― softie (silby), Thursday, 8 June 2017 16:07 (six years ago) link
I think the nu-fast films are sorta insanely overrated and even I think the rock is a delight
― K-hole MacLachlan (wins), Thursday, 8 June 2017 16:12 (six years ago) link
Which means it'll instead be Hart & Johnson Meet The Scorpion King.
― Diana Fire (j.lu), Thursday, 8 June 2017 17:14 (six years ago) link
Universal has no idea how to make movies people actually want to see and I think the Fast & Furious franchise was successful on accident
― officer sonny bonds, lytton pd (mayor jingleberries), Thursday, 8 June 2017 17:21 (six years ago) link
Johnson is really good in a lot of things - I still maintain his performance in Pain & Gain was award-worthy, and Snitch didn't get nearly the audience it deserved. But I'm glad the Baywatch movie face-planted commercially.
― grawlix (unperson), Thursday, 8 June 2017 21:13 (six years ago) link
The Rundown is an overlooked classic
― El Tomboto, Thursday, 8 June 2017 22:47 (six years ago) link
Universal Horror shared Universe (2017-soon)
There was already a big thread.
― Robert Adam Gilmour, Thursday, 8 June 2017 23:07 (six years ago) link
Ah thanks! I was wondering where the heck it was.
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 8 June 2017 23:09 (six years ago) link
So which one shall we use?
― Robert Adam Gilmour, Thursday, 8 June 2017 23:27 (six years ago) link
This one is funnier and is now about The Rock so uh, this one
― El Tomboto, Thursday, 8 June 2017 23:30 (six years ago) link
have any of you jabronis read this front to back cuz I havehttps://images.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fs-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com%2F736x%2Fe5%2Fd3%2Ffb%2Fe5d3fb62c371381ca56dd1d5299f0422.jpg&f=1
― Οὖτις, Thursday, 8 June 2017 23:32 (six years ago) link
(fuck the Rock btw)
― Οὖτις, Thursday, 8 June 2017 23:33 (six years ago) link
dude clearly has political ambitions, something we should not encourage
― Οὖτις, Thursday, 8 June 2017 23:34 (six years ago) link
Why did you read that?
Wasn't Spielberg saying a few years ago that half a dozen megabudget bombs with implode the film business? I think most these seem destined to bomb but maybe they'll just stop after a few flops?
― Robert Adam Gilmour, Thursday, 8 June 2017 23:36 (six years ago) link
But how you can resist Russell Crowe going EVIL
https://www.flickeringmyth.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Russell-Crowe-The-Mummy-600x409.png
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 8 June 2017 23:47 (six years ago) link