Let's all laugh at the Universal Dark Universe

Message Bookmarked
Bookmark Removed
Not all messages are displayed: show all messages (199 of them)

I do hope that there's a slew of quickie rip-off adaptations of these public domain properties released around the same time that totally muddy the waters of this endeavor.

Sir Isaac Gluten (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 7 June 2017 12:16 (three years ago) link

phantom and hunchback aren't even really canonical 'universal monsters' ffs

alcohol aficionado zane lamprey (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 7 June 2017 12:17 (three years ago) link

I do hope that there's a slew of quickie rip-off adaptations of these public domain properties released around the same time that totally muddy the waters of this endeavor.

ilx pre-covers the universal dark universe?

alcohol aficionado zane lamprey (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 7 June 2017 12:18 (three years ago) link

Why not! Dust off your camcorders, folks.

Sir Isaac Gluten (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 7 June 2017 12:46 (three years ago) link

I want a movie in which Mary Shelley, Bram Stoker, H. G. Wells, R. L. Stevenson, Victor Hugo, and Gaston Leroux are awakened from the grave to reclaim their intellectual property.

jmm, Wednesday, 7 June 2017 13:17 (three years ago) link

yes turn movies into the news what a great idea it will take no imagination at all

― AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Tuesday, June 6, 2017 8:16 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Right? When have monster movies or horror films ever dealt with the cultural zeitgeist or deep-seated social anxieties? The George Romero "Dead" movies were not in any way metaphorical, nor was the original "Godzilla."

Old Lynch's Sex Paragraph (Phil D.), Wednesday, 7 June 2017 13:23 (three years ago) link

"The Host" also had nothing whatsoever to say about American militarism and imperialism, it was just a monster movie and THAT'S ALL.

Old Lynch's Sex Paragraph (Phil D.), Wednesday, 7 June 2017 13:29 (three years ago) link

I mean, also, they'll probably manage to mess up the psychological metaphors that are there already in the classic films

Never changed username before (cardamon), Wednesday, 7 June 2017 16:33 (three years ago) link

By changing things around a bit but not enough, so as with most re-makes you end up with slop

Never changed username before (cardamon), Wednesday, 7 June 2017 16:34 (three years ago) link

^ Trenchant

Never changed username before (cardamon), Wednesday, 7 June 2017 16:34 (three years ago) link

wat if Frankenstein but made by isis

The Adventures Of Whiteman (Bananaman Begins), Wednesday, 7 June 2017 16:38 (three years ago) link

dotor jekyll but good 1 is bad

The Adventures Of Whiteman (Bananaman Begins), Wednesday, 7 June 2017 16:40 (three years ago) link

Who is the real monster, Frankenstein or that guy who made him whose name I don't know?

Sir Isaac Gluten (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 7 June 2017 17:19 (three years ago) link

invisible man but he's partially visible

alcohol aficionado zane lamprey (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 7 June 2017 17:39 (three years ago) link

I have seen the Dark Universe, yawning,
Where the blockbusters cruise without aim;
Where they cruise in their "horror" unneeded, each ghost held aloft by a name.

Beetle Juice continued to spit all over our drinks (contenderizer), Wednesday, 7 June 2017 17:59 (three years ago) link

Bride of Frankenstein, but also Frankenstein cuz she cannot decide on gender so he keeps taking out the stitches to swap out the junk.

Rimsky-Koskenkorva (Øystein), Wednesday, 7 June 2017 18:47 (three years ago) link

Get thee to a Frankenhooker, Øystein.

Sir Isaac Gluten (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 7 June 2017 18:47 (three years ago) link

omg

Rimsky-Koskenkorva (Øystein), Wednesday, 7 June 2017 18:49 (three years ago) link

It's not quite what you describe but there are indeed some Frankensteinian gender-swapping hijinks in that acclaimed film.

Sir Isaac Gluten (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 7 June 2017 19:01 (three years ago) link

universe where every1 is invisible xcept one guy and he is the visible man

The Adventures Of Whiteman (Bananaman Begins), Thursday, 8 June 2017 11:58 (three years ago) link

Also it's Dark

El Tomboto, Thursday, 8 June 2017 12:23 (three years ago) link

"Truly, we humans were the real 'invisible man' after all."

jmm, Thursday, 8 June 2017 12:47 (three years ago) link

"We have met the wolfman, and he is us."

Sir Isaac Gluten (Old Lunch), Thursday, 8 June 2017 12:53 (three years ago) link

'he who fights with universal monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a universal monster. and if you gaze long into a black lagoon, the creature also gazes into you'

alcohol aficionado zane lamprey (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 8 June 2017 12:56 (three years ago) link

"The only thing we have to fear is a dracula."

Sir Isaac Gluten (Old Lunch), Thursday, 8 June 2017 12:59 (three years ago) link

Knowledge is knowing that Frankenstein is not the monster. Wisdom is knowing that Igor is the bride.

jmm, Thursday, 8 June 2017 13:06 (three years ago) link

lol @ bothering with this 'universe' crap for a load of long out of copyright characters

The Adventures Of Whiteman (Bananaman Begins), Thursday, 8 June 2017 13:19 (three years ago) link

Ned probably started with that thread title, but crumpled it up

El Tomboto, Thursday, 8 June 2017 13:21 (three years ago) link

It was a process of experimentation

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 8 June 2017 13:23 (three years ago) link

now i'm imagining ned working in the lab, late one night

alcohol aficionado zane lamprey (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 8 June 2017 13:24 (three years ago) link

Is anyone actually planning to see The Mummy?

jmm, Thursday, 8 June 2017 13:27 (three years ago) link

*crickets*

alcohol aficionado zane lamprey (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 8 June 2017 13:32 (three years ago) link

even for slumming hollywood shit this is getting toxic reviews

a serious and fascinating fartist (Simon H.), Thursday, 8 June 2017 13:33 (three years ago) link

It doesn't look even a little bit good or interesting. Universal's previous foray into Mummy-dom doesn't exactly give me any confidence that they're on the right track this time.

Sir Isaac Gluten (Old Lunch), Thursday, 8 June 2017 13:34 (three years ago) link

Not so much for the sake of enjoying a schadenfreudegasm (which is just a pleasant side-effect), but I kinda want this to die on the vine in the hopes that these studios will stop thinking they can grow some expansive franchise out of a single, untested seed.

Sir Isaac Gluten (Old Lunch), Thursday, 8 June 2017 13:38 (three years ago) link

i thought the first mummy reboot movie with brendan fraser was dumb fun, but there's nothing appealing about this one at all afaict

i only just found out russell crowe is in this as dr jekyll, which seems like a particularly egregious misuse of the shared-universe shoehorn

alcohol aficionado zane lamprey (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 8 June 2017 13:39 (three years ago) link

Whut

Sir Isaac Gluten (Old Lunch), Thursday, 8 June 2017 13:41 (three years ago) link

It's just kinda fucking dumb, too. Because he will surely only appear AS Dr. Jekyll, leaving us all to ponder HMMM WONDER WHAT WILL HAPPEN WITH THIS MYSTERY MAN IN THE FUTURE, OH THE MYSTERY OF IT ALL.

Sir Isaac Gluten (Old Lunch), Thursday, 8 June 2017 13:43 (three years ago) link

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

It was great working with @RussellCrowe on #TheMummy (even though we were kicking each other's ass). pic.twitter.com/ZfPOWb7pVL

— Tom Cruise (@TomCruise) June 7, 2017

alcohol aficionado zane lamprey (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 8 June 2017 13:44 (three years ago) link

I think you mean licking, Tom.

Bernie Lugg (Ward Fowler), Thursday, 8 June 2017 13:46 (three years ago) link

crowe's wearing one black glove in that fight scene so i assume he's already afflicted by monsterism

alcohol aficionado zane lamprey (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 8 June 2017 13:46 (three years ago) link

fuck i just remembered that benicio del toro's wolfman only came out a few years ago and tanked too - man, they're really intent on doing this until something, anything sticks, aren't they

alcohol aficionado zane lamprey (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 8 June 2017 13:47 (three years ago) link

xposts Oh, that's just Russell being Russell.

http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/259/034/857.jpg

Sir Isaac Gluten (Old Lunch), Thursday, 8 June 2017 13:48 (three years ago) link

Yes, and when this one turfs out...well, obviously Bride of Frankenstein is the one that was REALLY intended to kick off the franchise. Naturally.

Sir Isaac Gluten (Old Lunch), Thursday, 8 June 2017 13:49 (three years ago) link

I was joking earlier about them pulling their '50s sci-fi stuff into the mix at some point, but decent remakes of that stuff (and yes, a fucking "universe" if they must) would be infinitely more interesting than them cranking out the 5,819,392,492,813th Frankenstein movie in existence.

Sir Isaac Gluten (Old Lunch), Thursday, 8 June 2017 13:51 (three years ago) link

i feel like there's potential to update frankenstein to explore contemporary stuff like genome-editing and growing spare parts for humans from scratch but uh let's say i don't have a lot of confidence they'll want to take any interesting approaches to the characters

alcohol aficionado zane lamprey (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 8 June 2017 13:58 (three years ago) link

Looking forward to the 2024 slate of Renfield vs. Igor, Mohel of Frankenstein, and Abbott & Costello Fey & Poehler Meet the Scorpion King.

FTFM Universal.

Diana Fire (j.lu), Thursday, 8 June 2017 14:45 (three years ago) link

Only very very tangentially related because Scorpion King but I just saw the comedy issue of GQ on the stands yesterday, featuring everybody's favorite funnyman Dwayne Johnson on the cover.

Sir Isaac Gluten (Old Lunch), Thursday, 8 June 2017 14:47 (three years ago) link

is that the one with the caity weaver profile of the rock? cuz that's a great piece (as caity weaver articles invariably are, tbf)

alcohol aficionado zane lamprey (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 8 June 2017 14:56 (three years ago) link

I couldn't say, as I never got past those bulging biceps or those dreamy eyes staring back at me from the rack.

Sir Isaac Gluten (Old Lunch), Thursday, 8 June 2017 15:44 (three years ago) link

the invisible man was good though

karmic blowback for dissing pip and jane baker (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 13 March 2020 00:58 (five months ago) link

it was also made on a us$7m budget, unlike the mummy which cost a freaking bomb

karmic blowback for dissing pip and jane baker (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 13 March 2020 01:00 (five months ago) link

giving it all to blumhouse is a decent strategy. might work.

wasdnuos (abanana), Friday, 13 March 2020 01:06 (five months ago) link

we could be entering an era of decent hollywood movies that don’t cost liechtenstein’s gdp to make

karmic blowback for dissing pip and jane baker (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 13 March 2020 01:21 (five months ago) link

seems like horror films are the only small movies that turn a reliable profit today.

wasdnuos (abanana), Friday, 13 March 2020 01:33 (five months ago) link

Yeah I saw this last night and thought it was good. Have no idea wtf they’re gonna do with Dracula. Also assume the budget won’t be 7m.

officer sonny bonds, lytton pd (mayor jingleberries), Friday, 13 March 2020 04:37 (five months ago) link

imo they should cap the budgets just in case

mh, Friday, 13 March 2020 13:55 (five months ago) link

Two of Kusama's previous films were on $1 million budgets (fifteen years apart).

Whannel's first film made $100 million on a $1 million budget, his second made $147 million on a $4 million budget, his third made $164 million on a $10 million budget, his fifth made $100 million on a $1.5 million budget, his sixth made $160 million on a $5 million budget, his seventh (first as director) made $113 million on an $11 million budget, his eighth had a $3 million budget, and The Invisible Man has made $105 million in two weeks on a $7 million budget.

Blumhouse's most expensive movies to date iirc are $15 million for BlacKkKlansman, a co-production with a name director, a couple of stars, dozens of speaking roles & even more extras, and shitloads of outdoor and indoor location shoots; and $20 million for Glass, which had to pay M. Night Shyamalan, Bruce Willis, Sam Jackson, and James McAvoy, who probably has a reasonable quote after a bunch of X-Mens.

It's very unlikely that they're not going to keep the budget low on Kusama's Dracula.

Fantastic. Great move. Well done (sic), Friday, 13 March 2020 20:27 (five months ago) link

and the one that kinda flopped was upgrade, which is amazing

wasdnuos (abanana), Friday, 13 March 2020 21:29 (five months ago) link

Returned about six times its budget, on almost zero promotion! Absolutely a big success, just only made a fraction of his horror & sequel flicks.

Fantastic. Great move. Well done (sic), Friday, 13 March 2020 21:44 (five months ago) link

three months pass...

https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/heat-vision/invisible-man-helmer-leigh-whannell-direct-ryan-gosling-wolfman-1302467

Aaaand now Blumhouse and Whannell are now attached to a Wolfman reboot for Ryan Gosling. "The script has been described as having a vibe that evokes Network (1976) and Nightcrawler (2014)." So pseudo-found footage of Larry Talbot yelling "I'm flea-bitten as hell, and I'm not going to take this any more"?

Life is a banquet and my invitation was lost in the mail (j.lu), Thursday, 9 July 2020 17:44 (one month ago) link

i was recently thinking that if ace in the hole were done today, the reporter would throw people in wells and never think twice about it.

wasdnous (abanana), Thursday, 9 July 2020 18:52 (one month ago) link


You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.