no boys allowed in the room!!!!

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Yoni Loves Chocha (VegemiteGrrl), Sunday, 28 May 2017 18:12 (six years ago) link

That sounds abusive

weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Sunday, 28 May 2017 18:37 (six years ago) link

mr veg says hey whatsup haircut and we just fuckin move on with our lives

<3

schlump, Sunday, 28 May 2017 18:52 (six years ago) link

yeah it was a throwaway comment and I wasn't sure if she was joking :/

kinder, Sunday, 28 May 2017 20:27 (six years ago) link

two months pass...

I met some cool artsy witchy ladies this month! They are planning a panel with Pam Grossman and Kristen Sollee, I AM SO PSYCHED FOR THIS.

Also, I went to an art event/party and made out with some dude, and he emailed me???

tokyo rosemary, Sunday, 30 July 2017 04:31 (six years ago) link

iirc some dude is married o_0

assawoman bay (harbl), Sunday, 30 July 2017 12:56 (six years ago) link

Ha, not that some dude.

tokyo rosemary, Sunday, 30 July 2017 13:08 (six years ago) link

And yesterday he told me he has a three year old. We hung out in town for a little bit, and he hasn't texted or emailed since, hmmmmm.

tokyo rosemary, Monday, 31 July 2017 16:49 (six years ago) link

what is the hmmm?

weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Monday, 31 July 2017 16:59 (six years ago) link

There were quite a few emails and texts Saturday night and Sunday about how much he likes me, how much he really wants to hear back from me, how much he really wants to hang out again, and now not even a hey what's up?

tokyo rosemary, Monday, 31 July 2017 17:26 (six years ago) link

maybe he really wants to hear from you (based on how much he really wants to hear back from me, how much he really wants to hang out again
idk
always hard to know what is going on in anyone's mind, i don't try to guess

weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Monday, 31 July 2017 17:29 (six years ago) link

I know, there's nothing stopping me from contacting him except my own silliness.

tokyo rosemary, Monday, 31 July 2017 17:32 (six years ago) link

I'm not that used to someone being so forward and unsubtle with their interest!

tokyo rosemary, Monday, 31 July 2017 17:34 (six years ago) link

making new relationships is difficult even (especially?) when romance isn't part of the picture

weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Monday, 31 July 2017 17:37 (six years ago) link

I am working on that as well this summer!

tokyo rosemary, Monday, 31 July 2017 17:45 (six years ago) link

yeah me too
it's impossible to know what anyone else is thinking. once i have established that someone finds my company acceptable, my approach is usually to be straightforward (and I guess unsubtle too) because who has time to energy to try to read my mind? no one that's who :) being a wallflower has never worked for me.
i like to think of it as friendliness because i feel ok with being a friendly person.

weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Monday, 31 July 2017 17:51 (six years ago) link

time AND energy
woops

i don't have the time or energy to proofread lol

weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Monday, 31 July 2017 17:52 (six years ago) link

Yes, the ladies I have met have made it clear in their way that they like me and my style, so I am trying to reach out to them. Even if it is just to say that I really enjoyed the events they have organized.

I do have to stop myself investing too much time with the mind reading.

tokyo rosemary, Monday, 31 July 2017 18:20 (six years ago) link

In other positive reinforcement news, I reached out to a friend this month, and now I am going to be a guest on her podcast. Do Not Listen If You Hate Me (or The Simpsons.)

tokyo rosemary, Monday, 31 July 2017 18:25 (six years ago) link

two weeks pass...

I think I've been ghosted???

I'm hanging out with the witchy artist ladies today. I even made one a present!

tokyo rosemary, Sunday, 20 August 2017 14:02 (six years ago) link

one month passes...

Well, this took a weird turn.

I gave my new friend the pink pussyhat I made her, and she was delighted. She also said her son is going to want to wear it as part no is his favorite color. I saw her post online recently that he told her he's a feminist!

tokyo rosemary, Friday, 29 September 2017 11:17 (six years ago) link

aw that's sweet

hope everyone is well. i'm fine. don't have anything in particular to say tbh.

weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Friday, 29 September 2017 13:30 (six years ago) link

I'm glad your fine! I had a stressful month but it's getting better.

Finally have been hearing more from local dude. He wants to be friends first.

It is finally cool enough to wear a dress I bought last month. It is coral with dandelions. It is hard to find anything I want to get clothing wise, because I do not like the current color palettes in stores these days. Which I guess is good, it keeps me from buying things!

tokyo rosemary, Friday, 29 September 2017 14:24 (six years ago) link

that's good! i have trouble finding clothes i like and am willing to actually pay for. haven't shopped in a while but did find a spanking new goodwill near my favorite grocery store and it is full of potential work clothes and F21/Target leftover party clothes.

i guess i should say i'm alright
not that i was ever anything less than paranoid about posting my personal life on the internet, but my levels are at the highest alert right now. with a few blessed exceptions, every public environment feels at least somewhat hostile.

weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Friday, 29 September 2017 14:43 (six years ago) link

i am grateful for the exceptions

weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Friday, 29 September 2017 14:44 (six years ago) link

I've been doing a lot of online shopping for clothes, mostly used and vintage/vintage-inspired stuff. I am sure there are plenty of animated gifs that people use to describe the feeling when you look at the grid of cute clothes, then select your size, and ... no more cute.

On the plus side (heheheh), I buy less, and it motivates me to sew, alter, refashion, upcycle ... and have a righteous productive anger, "Fuck you makers of cute and hot clothes, I can make things just as cute and hot that will fit me, and I won't spend as much money doing so."

Also, it's interesting trying to come up with the right search terms to find things I like. "Trendy"? ... no, "Arty" ... no, "Hipster" ... no ... "Goth," "Punk" and "Pin-Up" get predictable results, and I find things I like that way ... I could go on with arcane details about SEO "trends" in vintage women's clothing sold online ..

sarahell, Friday, 29 September 2017 21:27 (six years ago) link

Srsly very comforted whenever this thread is revived. I'm not on FB, Twttr, etc anymore so here is where I look to see ilxchixors and to have a connection with you all.

LL, you have a friend/fan in me always and an IRL place in DC if you ever find yourself in the 'hood or just need to skip town to a welcoming place.

Sarahell, tiki with you those years ago and knowing you here on the boards has been a comforting constant in my life.

Tokyo, I am not very artistic and probably only unintentionally witchy, but I welcome you into my coven ;)

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Saturday, 30 September 2017 04:14 (six years ago) link

no updates worth noting except that i think my hair is slowly falling out?!

cosigning quincie, i know most of u itt dont post much on regular ilx anymore so i love this little corner where i can fistbump with my fav womens

*fistbump*

Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 30 September 2017 04:19 (six years ago) link

hi

assawoman bay (harbl), Saturday, 30 September 2017 12:37 (six years ago) link

I finally made a new friend but I initially ignored some red flags and now I'm avoiding her :/ we'd had this big talk about high-drama and high-maintenance friendships but it turns out she's both of those things. Which sux bc I was excited to finally have a local cool friend to just hang out with.

just1n3, Saturday, 30 September 2017 15:36 (six years ago) link

hello. It's really hard to make good new friends at my stage of life as I just don't have the time or freedom to do all the silly shit (or shared fun experiences) I like friendships to be based on. hoping this changes at some point...

kinder, Saturday, 30 September 2017 17:30 (six years ago) link

<3 harbl - and the other girls here

dryer sheets and other products for the home lol

― harbl, Saturday, June 20, 2009 6:42 PM (eight years ago)

this post will enter my mind at random times ... like now. I just repainted and redecorated my bedroom ... it hadn't been painted since I moved in 20 yrs ago. so many products for the home lol

sarahell, Saturday, 30 September 2017 20:25 (six years ago) link

i learned about different types of carpet fibers, rug binding, and ... zulily.com ... which is this huge thing that I only recently discovered.

sarahell, Saturday, 30 September 2017 20:28 (six years ago) link

I made some new friends but I think I don’t like socializing anymore? I go out and I just find that I am happier when I get home :/ and I dont like entertaining so having them come to me is a non-starter.

The friends I made are nice & it is always a nice time but it’s like I have this handbrake inside me that won’t let me be a friend back to the ppl being friendly to me

Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 30 September 2017 20:46 (six years ago) link

i pretty much only have made friends who enjoy doing the same activities i do
beyond that, there's not much to say because i don't like to share personal info with people i don't know very well
i've always been like this, why change now

weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Saturday, 30 September 2017 21:08 (six years ago) link

i go back and forth between being really social and wanting to be around people to wanting to be alone a lot, and i worry that my friends have "moved on" ... one of my best female friends had someone close to her die recently, (different context than the fire which killed a bunch of casual friends/good friends of friends) and I'm giving her space, and several of my other best friends are also kinda introverted, so we will go months without hanging out in person ... I'm also seriously cutting back on drinking, which means I don't go out as much, because I know myself, and if there is booze and people are drinking it, then I'm gonna get drunk too.

sarahell, Saturday, 30 September 2017 21:36 (six years ago) link

i think i'm done making friends in my life

assawoman bay (harbl), Sunday, 1 October 2017 00:00 (six years ago) link

like, it's over

assawoman bay (harbl), Sunday, 1 October 2017 00:00 (six years ago) link

as in you feel you have enough to last you ... or ?

sarahell, Sunday, 1 October 2017 01:14 (six years ago) link

no i'm just too tired and i don't like people i guess, and i'm bad at it

assawoman bay (harbl), Sunday, 1 October 2017 01:20 (six years ago) link

feel this

Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Sunday, 1 October 2017 01:27 (six years ago) link

xp - do you deal with people a lot at your job?

sarahell, Sunday, 1 October 2017 01:33 (six years ago) link

Harbl OTM

just1n3, Sunday, 1 October 2017 02:14 (six years ago) link

i deal with people way too much at my job which is partially (not entirely) why my brain runs out of fuel for any other human interaction the rest of the day

assawoman bay (harbl), Sunday, 1 October 2017 12:43 (six years ago) link

harbl, I get that too with my current job

sarahell, Sunday, 1 October 2017 18:42 (six years ago) link

I work mostly alone so I have the opposite problem- I feel like I've lost all ability to function socially with people I don't already know super well.

just1n3, Sunday, 1 October 2017 19:02 (six years ago) link

i deal with people way too much at my job which is partially (not entirely) why my brain runs out of fuel for any other human interaction the rest of the day

― assawoman bay (harbl), Sunday, October 1, 2017 12:43 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

100%. I really like my neighbors a lot and they're super chill but sometimes I just sit near them (outside) and smoke silently while reading and they know not to talk to me.

I like talking to ppl but a lot of the time now I'll start trying to have the "obligatory social" tone with someone and then my brain goes blank and I don't know what the next line is supposed to be. lol at that point I'm usually like, "I'm sorry, can we start over? Let me ask you something I actually care about the answer to."

Conic section rebellion 44 (in orbit), Monday, 2 October 2017 12:49 (six years ago) link

Hi, everybody! I'm pretty good, I guess. Tired today so it's hard to tell. Miss you lot and just miss hanging out with wimmens in general.

Conic section rebellion 44 (in orbit), Monday, 2 October 2017 13:06 (six years ago) link

Hello wimmins.

I finally got an official Asperger's diagnosis the other week, after 2 years of sitting in various queues, and 35 years after I first entered the mental health system.

What's funny is, a couple of the questions in the interview portions were things like "Do you understand what a friend is?" and "In your own words, can you explain what are friends for?" and "Do you have a partner, do you understand why people have partners?" Which are ridiculously difficult questions.

But it's kind of a relief to see that, y'know, even *neurotypical* people struggle with these questions.

Einstürzende NEU!bauten (Branwell with an N), Monday, 2 October 2017 13:33 (six years ago) link

Kind ladies,

Does 1P3 dare me to put out a personal ad headed with "TCM and chill?"

Virulent Is the Word for Julia (j.lu), Saturday, 7 October 2017 20:32 (six years ago) link


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