Anticipating Spider-Man: Homecoming (and then presumably Spider-Man: Prom)

http://i.imgur.com/rXvLw1v.jpg

woof

Spider-man
Spider-man
Hangs around with Iron Man
Tony's great, we can't lie,
Then there is this young guy
Uh hmmmm
Let's talk up Iron Man

spider man
spider man
i have to make this poster for spider man
slept in late
oh my lord
where was that .PSD stored
who cares
i'm just an intern, man

post movie posters done in a busy/claustrophobic caricature style from the 70s and 80s

god that poster is awful

it looks like the designed-by-committee result of agents fighting over exactly where their clients will be placed and how big their faces appear

'robert needs his image to be 2mm wider and 6mm to the left or he fucking walks, okay?'

thankfully we have both Iron Man and a yuge head of Tony Stark

Spider Man and Peter Parker (who just drank a glass of water and is trying not to open his mouth)

Michael Keaton and also a shot of main villain The Vulture who is for some reason half the size of Iron Man and pushed off to the side

why is U2's The Edge sitting on Keaton's shoulder, shooting a lense flare gun

also can we put in the Washington monument and make it look like it is in NYC somehow? don't worry if the ground level is off. thanks

post movie posters done in a word cloud style except with faces instead of words

Movie posters should just be a balance sheet of expected returns, actors' salaries, etc.

TBF, there are other, better ones featuring just Spidey. I'm fond of this one:

https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/8571017/spider_man_poster.jpg

yeah that one interesting and deceptively has a lot going on without assaulting your eyeballs

lonely spidey just thinking baout the thing

had they even mentioned Jon Favreau having much of a role in this thing?

btw hey guys here's Jon Favreau, he's on the poster context-free buttoning his suit and has third billing in a Spider-Man film, because uh

huh, i hadn't even noticed him there

now that i've seen him i'm calling it: he's gonna die in this one

I mean, he's an established character, but tbrr I don't remember him even being on the poster for the last Iron Man movie.

In which he nearly died, so I can't imagine them pulling that stunt again. But who knows.

he gets a full credit even, not a "with"

how the hell is he above Marissa Tomei lol

his agent shouted louder i guess

Did something happen to the UN secretariat in one of these movies?

I'd assume launching the MCU still has some cachet with the suits.

dragged to the underworld by the mole man iirc xp

Someone on the poster committee really wanted the Washington Monument in there, even in the most awkward spot.

washington monument has a very vocal agent

'fuck downey jr, this big marble bastard has been drawing crowds since 1848!'

What if Spider-man took over Tony's suit? What ... if ... ?

what if spider-man and tony were forced to spend a snowbound evening inside a single iron man suit? with sexy results

If the Iron Man suit is a rockin', don't come a knockin'.

This is the first time I've ever considered whether Tony Stark incorporates some sort of Fleshlight device into his Iron Man suits, and upon consideration it seems almost certain that he does.

Well, Tony Stark is a big dick, so ...

who among us would not build a fleshlight into a multibillion-dollar suit of armour, given half a chance

Am I the only one getting weird no one gives a fuck vibes around this one? Reviews inexplicably ran last week, so I figured it had opened already, but I guess it opens this coming weekend?

wiiiiild horses....

MU often lifts review embargos a week or two prior to open, not any different than their other flicks

if only there was an audience for Spider-man

Says he loves movies...

I think more than anything else the advertising for this seems to be "this is exactly what you'd expect" - wisecracking iron man and wife-eyed kid, if you liked the 10 minutes in Civil War then you'll like this. Some weird frisson at seeing Michael Keaton do this after Birdman is about the only thing?

So reviews ran for the last few Marvel movies in high profile places like the Times a week before opening day?

And yeah, there is an audience for Spider-man in the sense that there will always be an audience for spectacle. But wasn't the point of Sony going to Marvel that the last couple of Spider-man movies showed ... maybe there isn't as much of an audience as people thought? I guess we'll see!

the fact that the first fanboy reactions contained even mild criticisms indicates to me that this is going to be a total nothing

both of the last two did well but not well enough. ASM2 actually made pretty good money but it had a big drop in its second weekend, the reviews were bad and it was obvious the public was not feeling a surge of spideymania. sony must have been looking at the numbers for the raimi trilogy, which all did really well - the public loves spidey, so we're totally in shape to do avengers-level business as a kickoff for some whole stupid spidey-verse bullshit. in that sense, yeah, not as much of an audience as people thought. but there's no reason a good spider-man movie that makes people feel good and have fun wouldn't be a successful film.

this does look kinda fun and i do really like tom holland in the role but jeez even a spider-man dork like me thinks six movies and three spider-men in 16 years is pushing it a bit

Pretty close to a rave review in The Guardian (opens in the UK today)

https://www.theguardian.com/film/2017/jun/29/spider-man-homecoming-review-tom-holland

still think not going with miles morales this time out was a mistake tbh

http://i166.photobucket.com/albums/u120/kingkonggodzilla/e00f3af2-ff76-4f56-8b87-c96b3d6fd2cd_zpsajnhydwd.jpg

rumor has it that this film will have Spiderman performing the "cannonball dookie"

I am still back on "wife-eyed kid"

<punches his phone>

They need to make a movie that's like Spider-Man on the Loose or something. Just follows Spider-Man around a slow day where he fucks off and messes with people.

That was like half of Spiderman 3

I would take SM3 over any MUC movie tbh

*MCU

xxp I'm talking a little different than Spider-Man 3. More like Spider-Man's chain smoking on a dirty couch for 20 minutes. Or he becomes a subway panhandler, or he gets stoned and he uses his spider web to steal some guy's sandwich and soda.

I would take SM3 over any MUC movie tbh

― a serious and fascinating fartist (Simon H.), Wednesday, July 5, 2017 2:03 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

*MCU

― a serious and fascinating fartist (Simon H.), Wednesday, July 5, 2017 2:03 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I know challops are a part of ILX but c'mon

this movie was bad and all the ostensibly smart and capable heroes made many many very stupid decisions! and jamie foxx just seemed so bored and sad