Poll - Songs that never fail to make white people beyond turnt

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not saying we're immune to cotton eye joe, but still.

Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Sunday, 21 May 2017 10:09 (six years ago) link

write-in for hey ya, ignition, or hot in herre

||||||||, Sunday, 21 May 2017 10:25 (six years ago) link

omg no hey ya?

rip van wanko, Sunday, 21 May 2017 10:44 (six years ago) link

lol at "Teenage Dirtbag" being on the list. who the fuck even remembers that shit, let alone gets "turnt" to it

Charles "Butt" Stanton (Neanderthal), Sunday, 21 May 2017 12:29 (six years ago) link

nothing is worse than when everybody sings Bohemian Rhapsody as a group

Charles "Butt" Stanton (Neanderthal), Sunday, 21 May 2017 12:30 (six years ago) link

White people = white Americans? If so, this is somewhat accurate.

pomenitul, Sunday, 21 May 2017 12:35 (six years ago) link

I'd wager 'Bohemian Rhapsody' is the likeliest correct answer.

pomenitul, Sunday, 21 May 2017 12:36 (six years ago) link

With no other input but the thread title and the last half-dozen posts or so (reading from the bottom on Zing), for some read my brain immediately started looping the chorus from Mr. Brightside, before I even looked at the poll

El Tomboto, Sunday, 21 May 2017 13:57 (six years ago) link

This song is mostly played at sporting events in America now, and even though those often have very ethically diverse crowds

― Loud guitars shit all over "Bette Davis Eyes" (NYCNative)

you said it, man

Cyborg Kickboxer (rushomancy), Sunday, 21 May 2017 14:42 (six years ago) link

lol @ america

in a soylent whey (wins), Sunday, 21 May 2017 14:44 (six years ago) link

"nothing is worse than when everybody sings Bohemian Rhapsody as a group"

yes, yes there is something worse. It's when groups of white people sing all 56788 verses of American Pie together, which I endured on July 4th in 1995.

akm, Sunday, 21 May 2017 14:54 (six years ago) link

I assume you still have PTSD from that episode

Charles "Butt" Stanton (Neanderthal), Sunday, 21 May 2017 14:57 (six years ago) link

I fuckin hate the song to begin with (unlike BR, which I am just sick of but is legit awesome)

Charles "Butt" Stanton (Neanderthal), Sunday, 21 May 2017 14:57 (six years ago) link

Beyond Turnt, though..

Mark G, Sunday, 21 May 2017 22:03 (six years ago) link

Voting for the one on here I flat out love, with no reservations: 'Come On, Eileen.'

Absolute classic.

Austin, Sunday, 21 May 2017 22:26 (six years ago) link

"Come On Eileen" is good but also annoying.

billstevejim, Sunday, 21 May 2017 22:54 (six years ago) link

"Under Pressure" is amazing tho and probably wouldn't have been eligible had Vanilla never been born.

billstevejim, Sunday, 21 May 2017 22:55 (six years ago) link

under pressure and come on eileen are prob the only songs here i don't hate

eh, i guess i don't hate eye of the tiger

(The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Sunday, 21 May 2017 22:57 (six years ago) link

75% of the "white/lame/boring" appeal is within the first 5 seconds when people are unsure whether it's "Under Pressure" or "Ice Ice Baby."

billstevejim, Sunday, 21 May 2017 22:57 (six years ago) link

Ah, also "Harlem Shuffle" and "Jump Around"

See, see the white folks run back to the chairs when they find it's "Harlem Shuffle" !

Run, White Folks, Run...

Mark G, Monday, 22 May 2017 09:29 (six years ago) link

Never heard of these:

Zac Brown Band - Chicken Fried
Toby Keith - Red Solo Cup

Looking forward to getting beyond turnt by them at some point soon.

Would add:

Ace of Base - All That She Wants
and definitely House of Pain - Jump Around, which is the ne plus ultra of this kind of thing

Shat Parp (dog latin), Monday, 22 May 2017 10:27 (six years ago) link

you've never seen wites properly turnt until you've seen a bunch of scots losing their shit to '5000 miles' at a wedding

ilx liberal moron team UNITE (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 22 May 2017 10:32 (six years ago) link

uh, 500 miles - clearly scottish people's cardiovascular health is not up to the challenge of 5000 miles

ilx liberal moron team UNITE (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 22 May 2017 10:33 (six years ago) link

.. let alone "5,000 more"

Mark G, Monday, 22 May 2017 11:00 (six years ago) link

i loled at most of these... except for "sweet caroline". it's horrifying and sobering to consider the possibility that poc think that white folks are all red sox fans.

Cyborg Kickboxer (rushomancy), Monday, 22 May 2017 13:14 (six years ago) link

stuffwhitepeoplelike.tumblr.trite

'Paradise By the Dashboard Light' and 'Friends in Low Places' are some glaring (although possibly more regional in their turntness) exclusions from this list.

human/hutt hybrid (Old Lunch), Monday, 22 May 2017 13:48 (six years ago) link

Also possibly out of date (source: Old Lunch's rural high school dances).

human/hutt hybrid (Old Lunch), Monday, 22 May 2017 13:50 (six years ago) link

Mustang Sally is another one. I dunno, I could just list all the songs people used to karaoke down the SU

Shat Parp (dog latin), Monday, 22 May 2017 14:02 (six years ago) link

all of these songs are terrible

marcos, Monday, 22 May 2017 14:17 (six years ago) link

Well, yeah.

human/hutt hybrid (Old Lunch), Monday, 22 May 2017 14:22 (six years ago) link

Didn't know the term either, thanks NYCNative for the link.
I'm going for 'Eye of the Tiger', although I'm sure that there are many more better picks out there. Wouldn't the following all be even better already?
Trashmen - Surfin' Bird
Ray Parker Jr - Ghostbusters
Michael Jackson - Thriller
AC/DC - Highway to Hell
Steppenwolf - Born to be Wild
Scatman John - Scatman

Valentijn, Monday, 22 May 2017 14:23 (six years ago) link

xpost (Actually don't agree with that, but figured an Eagles reference was required somewhere itt.)

human/hutt hybrid (Old Lunch), Monday, 22 May 2017 14:23 (six years ago) link

(Oops, of course first response itt was Eagles reference.)

human/hutt hybrid (Old Lunch), Monday, 22 May 2017 14:24 (six years ago) link

Never heard of these:

Zac Brown Band - Chicken Fried
Toby Keith - Red Solo Cup

I lasted about 20 seconds into both of these. I really really wish I hadn't bothered

Shat Parp (dog latin), Monday, 22 May 2017 14:47 (six years ago) link

Had to look up "turnt"..."Sweet Home Alabama" is the only song here I count as now and forever turnt-worthy; "American Pie" comes close. There are bunch more I like. The two Bon Jovis are the two I hate the most. I don't know three or four of them.

clemenza, Monday, 22 May 2017 14:51 (six years ago) link

(Including the two in the previous post--quite content to go on not knowing them.)

clemenza, Monday, 22 May 2017 14:52 (six years ago) link

i don't know if this is universally applicable, but in indiana by far the most turnt-inducing white people song was "crazy train".

Cyborg Kickboxer (rushomancy), Monday, 22 May 2017 15:26 (six years ago) link

just yell "ALLLL ABOOOOOARD!" and start cackling maniacally and hoosiers will absolutely lose their shit

Cyborg Kickboxer (rushomancy), Monday, 22 May 2017 15:26 (six years ago) link

A lot of these are okay, possibly even good fun songs, but WAY overplayed. Always liked Ice Ice Baby (bizarrely it's one of my Dad's favourite songs).

Shat Parp (dog latin), Monday, 22 May 2017 15:41 (six years ago) link

this poll is so dad

austinb, Thursday, 25 May 2017 01:56 (six years ago) link

There is definitely a sort of meta thing I notice when people do a lot of these songs in karaoke where they're not just performing the fantasy of being Jon Bon Jovi but performing the fantasy of being the cool party person who karaokes Bon Jovi.

As far as blanket arguments against white people go, this one I'll allow.

Should've included "Love Shack" tho.

insidious assymetrical weapons (Eric H.), Thursday, 25 May 2017 03:44 (six years ago) link

Also, a pretty good approximation of perpetual karaoke hell if you add "Jack and Diane" and "Baby Got Back."

insidious assymetrical weapons (Eric H.), Thursday, 25 May 2017 03:46 (six years ago) link

Sweet Caroline

Charles "Butt" Stanton (Neanderthal), Thursday, 25 May 2017 04:07 (six years ago) link

Might be a regional thing, but "Wagon Wheel" seems to be a pretty big bar band drunken singalong tune here.

earlnash, Thursday, 25 May 2017 05:19 (six years ago) link

never heard of it

billstevejim, Thursday, 25 May 2017 05:27 (six years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1gX1EP6mG-E

earlnash, Thursday, 25 May 2017 06:46 (six years ago) link

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

System, Saturday, 27 May 2017 00:01 (six years ago) link

'I want it that way' should be on this list

iatee, Saturday, 27 May 2017 00:26 (six years ago) link

Great thread ILX2017

the rockists' red glare (Drugs A. Money), Saturday, 27 May 2017 04:15 (six years ago) link

wagon wheel is definitely a substantial omission.

heck i get turnt just thinking about it

greg pianoforte (voodoo chili), Saturday, 27 May 2017 06:24 (six years ago) link

But do you get beyond?

Mark G, Saturday, 27 May 2017 08:20 (six years ago) link

heard wagon wheel for the first time yesterday. got turnt, but only just.

Balðy Daudrs (contenderizer), Saturday, 27 May 2017 17:24 (six years ago) link

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

System, Sunday, 28 May 2017 00:01 (six years ago) link

Don McLean - American Pie 0

I hope this song's existence is written out of history entirely someday.

Ⓓⓡ. (Johnny Fever), Sunday, 28 May 2017 00:02 (six years ago) link

lol even Red Solo Cup got more votes than American Pie

josh az (2011nostalgia), Sunday, 28 May 2017 00:06 (six years ago) link

one month passes...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZnBNuqqz5g

Shat Parp (dog latin), Thursday, 27 July 2017 12:43 (six years ago) link

'american pie' makes no one turnt

actually my kids (both in elementary school) are wild for this song

Guayaquil (eephus!), Thursday, 27 July 2017 12:53 (six years ago) link

growing up I wanted to tape over my dad's Don Maclean tape in the middle of that song and scream "I'M GLAD THE BOPPER'S DEAD"

Neanderthal, Thursday, 27 July 2017 12:55 (six years ago) link


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