Favorite lines from Seinfeld?

George: Hey.

Jerry: Where have you been? You know, you're on next.

George: I got lost on the way over.

Jerry: Got lost? We went to school here for three years.

George: What are these? (Holds test tubes to his head like antennae) Take me to your leader.

Jerry: Oh my God. You had sex. You had sex with Louise!

George: No, the Portuguese waitress.

Jerry: The Portuguese waitress?

George: I calculated my odds of ever getting together with a Portuguese waitress. Mathematically, I had to do it, Jerry.

Katie: George, George, you're on.

George: No, no. I'm not going on.

Jerry: Then what'd you come down here for?

George: To tell you about the Portuguese waitress.

"You know how the big toe is the captain of the toes, but sometimes the toe next to the big toe gets so big that there's a power struggle and the second toe assumes control of the foot?"

"The coup de toe."

the funny part is how he says he used it & the joke fell flat

well its all funny parts really

what series is the ones that they make the sitcom called Jerry?

Season 4.

cheers jim.

i knew that straight away because i'm watching season 5 on dvd at the moment and in the box there is the first draft script to "the pilot" "season 4".

just watched the episode "the masseuse":

KRAMER: You know why Rifkin was a serial killer? Because he was adopted. Just like Son of Sam was adopted. So apparently adoption leads to serial killing.

Just got through watching all of it. Great stuff. It's not a line, so it may not count, but I love that bit where Jerry comes home and there's this... LASER of red light coming from Kramer's spyhole, and then he opens the door to this hell induced by the huge red neon chicken sign. I did NOT describe that well.

JERRY: Explain to me how this baby shower thing works.

ELAINE: What do you wanna know?

JERRY: Well, I mean, does it ever erupt into a drunken orgy of violence?

the one at the car dealership where george thinks the mechanic stole his twix. the way george's frustration slowly builds until by the end he's virtually a frothing lunatic is perfectly timed and acted.

"IT'S A TWIX! THEY'RE AAAAAAALL TWIX! IT WAS A SETUP! A SETUP, I TELL YA!"

good episode, when he accuses the bloke of having a dollar bill in his wallet

"You're. Incorrect"

Watching the one where Elaine gets bitten by a dog and she attacks Kramer, calling him a "Stupid hipster doofus"!

Kramer turns to George, who is eating pretzels, and asks "May I have one of those, madam" cos he's wearing ladies glasses.

haha that's the one where george turns up wearing swimming goggles, and Jerry says something like "so you're tunneling to the centre of the Earth?"

"Gonna need some water here!!"

"It shrinks?"

"like a frightened turtle!"

when they're trying to find out if the yogurt has fat in or not and jerry gets the results and after kramer asks what the results are and jerry gets right in his face and goes "FAT!"

"Of course! My... cousin... was in a bubble."

the whole pinky toe story is one of my favorites. especially the cracker jack/prize exchange.

Kramer: Yeah, and after the ambulance left I found the toe. So I put it in a Cracker Jack box, filled it with ice and took off for the hospital.
George: You ran!?
Kramer: No I jumped on the bus. I told the driver "I got a toe here buddy, step on it!"
George: Holy cow!
Kramer: Yeah, yeah, then all of a sudden, this guy pulls out a gun. Well, I knew any delay is gonna cost her her pinky toe, so I got out of the seat and I started walking towards him. He says, "Where do you think you're going, Cracker Jack?" I said, "Well, I got a little prize for ya, buddy - " <Kramer throws two quick punches and a massive uppercut> - knocked him out cold!

You kept making the stops??

It's so weird that they made a backwards episode, I saw it and thought it was kind of pointless at the time. Now it seems pretty damn cool.

hahahaha yes xp

I had an idea for a thread inspired by the Dirty Lyrics/Double Entendres you didn't get as a kid, but understand as an adult thread but I'll just put it here:

Seinfeld lines/references that you didn't get as a kid but now understand. I watched the show from a young age and there are often some pretty highbrow/obscure references, but most of the ones I didn't get aren't so highbrow, but rather outdated/NY-based/Jewish stuff that was unknown to me growing up in Northern CA.
Por ejemplo:
The "hair in my farina" traumatic experience that Jerry remembers freaking out about when they're waiting for the babka (Still not sure exactly what a babka is). I remember thinking it was maybe some dirty reference I didn't get, but Farina is like a Cream of Wheat-type breakfast cereal.
I also remember not knowing WTF they were talking about in the Frogger episode-I missed the beginning and I was like "What's a fraga??"

i watched the sponge worthy episode when i was 11, I didn't get it.

and understanding about the pill and condoms it really put my head in a wtf position, where and how did a sponge come in to this?

^otm. forgot about that one.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Babka

"Not to be confused with vodka"

KRAMER: "You know you really shouldn't brush 24 hours before seeing the dentist."

JERRY: "I think that's eat 24 hours before surgery."

KRAMER: "Oh no, you got to eat before surgery, you need your strength."

funny one where George and Jerry are discussing the term 'Manslaughter' and how it sounds too vicious for it's definition. They try and come up with alternative names and Jerry's was "I can't believe it's not murder"

the whole riff about gay guys and "equipment"

Jerry's women are always smokin'

"Sweet fancy Moses!"

it's amazing that I have probably seen every single episode of Seinfeld but I can't recite a single direct quote from it.

[George's parents having dinner with Susan's parents]

FRANK: Let me understand, you got the hen, the chicken and the rooster. The
rooster goes with the chicken. So, who's having sex with the hen?
GEORGE: Why don't we talk about it another time.
FRANK: But you see my point here? You only hear of a hen, a rooster and a
chicken. Something's missing!
MRS. ROSS: Something's missing all right.
MR. ROSS: They're all chickens. The rooster has sex with all of them.
FRANK: That's perverse!

[after the nyu story about jerry & george being gay gets picked up by the AP]

jerry: "i've been outed! and i wasn't even in!"

chain-smoking stenographer from staten island

"I'm gonna make people feel my gonorrhea!"

Also from that episode:

"It's like those hip musicians with their complicated shoes!"

Jerry: Hey, Puddy's here
Elaine: My Puddy? But we broke up?
Jerry: And yet he continues to live

From The Little Jerry:

GEORGE (sadly): It's over, Jerry. She's gettin' out.
JERRY: Ah, I'm so sorry.
GEORGE: She's been locked up for two years. She's gonna want to make up for lost time. Dinners. Movies. <Rubs his forehead.> Talking...
JERRY: In other words, a normal relationship.
GEORGE: And that's no good. I've tried it straight, Jerry. We've all seen the results. For me, sick is the only way to go.
JERRY: Well, she'll still be an ex-con.
GEORGE: It's not the same.
JERRY: Hey, if you two are meant to be together...I'm sure the cops'll pick her up on something.

I just wrote this on the 'king of research' thread:

Hey here's the final question.

In the film 'City Slickers', there's a guy who looks like Newman (from Seinfeld)

What's the episode where he's in Seinfeld and light is made of his resemblance to Newman?

― ambience chaser (S-), Friday, 19 June 2009 14:46 (4 days ago) Permalink

"The Big Salad"

― Bianca Jagger (jaymc), Friday, 19 June 2009 14:54 (4 days ago)

and JAYMC IS WRONG!

Can anybody help me?

label maker?

a total guess btw, just because newman features in it as one of the other superbowl ticket holders.

nah, watched that recently also. Perhaps it never occurred? Is there any episode with a Newman lookalike?

i must admit, i've watched Seinfeld so many times and don't recall anything on this. There's bizarro jerry episode with the bizarro newman.

what's the guys name in city slicker anyway ?

also, there's the Bottle Deposit episode where Newman finds himself at the farm house. When he leaves the woman shouts out "i love you Norman"

wasn't there an animal called Norman in City Slickers

Yeah I know, reeeeach.