Favorite lines from Seinfeld?

Well generally you don't need any extra incentive to murder a dry cleaner.

Imagine. Her taking credit for your big salad.

roommates and i str8 up dying @ the big salad ep atm

Caught one of my favorite episodes tonight:
"As far as I can tell, your entire enterprise is more than a solitary man with a messy apartment which may or may not contain a chicken."

Er, NOTHING more. That's what I get for Googling to get the right phrasing and just ctrl-v'ing without reading it first.

..and over there son, is Brooklyn. That's where Spike Lee lives.

"....Mulva?"

OTM.

erry: Elaine, see this T-shirts, six years I've had this T-shirts, it's my

best one, I call him...Golden Boy

Elaine: I'm on the phone here.

Jerry: Golden Boy is always the first shirt I wear out of the laundry, here

touch Golden Boy!

Elaine: No thanks. (to the phone)Yeah, Yeah I'll hold.

Jerry: But see look at the collar, see it's fraying. Golden Boy is slowly

dying. Each wash is brings him one step closer, that's what makes

the T-shirts such a tragic figure.

Elaine: Why don't you just let Golden Boy soak in the sink with some

Woolight?

Jerry: No!!! The reason he's iron man is because he goes out there and plays

every game. Wash!!! Spin!!! Rinse!!! Spin!!! You take that away

from him, you break his spirit!

lol "this t-shirts".

you get the gist.

the entire series, pretty much

I need to start renting Curb Your Enthusiasm DVD sets pronto

the ukraine is weak!

woah. that's a lot of potatoes

Hey could you do me a favour?
What?
Could yer shut up?

Golden Boy was funnier to read than to watch

Seinfeld Scripts

"No, George, I.....am breaking up with you"

"You can't break up with me! I've got hand!"

"And you're gonna need it!"

George: Hey.

Jerry: Where have you been? You know, you're on next.

George: I got lost on the way over.

Jerry: Got lost? We went to school here for three years.

George: What are these? (Holds test tubes to his head like antennae) Take me to your leader.

Jerry: Oh my God. You had sex. You had sex with Louise!

George: No, the Portuguese waitress.

Jerry: The Portuguese waitress?

George: I calculated my odds of ever getting together with a Portuguese waitress. Mathematically, I had to do it, Jerry.

Katie: George, George, you're on.

George: No, no. I'm not going on.

Jerry: Then what'd you come down here for?

George: To tell you about the Portuguese waitress.

"You know how the big toe is the captain of the toes, but sometimes the toe next to the big toe gets so big that there's a power struggle and the second toe assumes control of the foot?"

"The coup de toe."

the funny part is how he says he used it & the joke fell flat

well its all funny parts really

what series is the ones that they make the sitcom called Jerry?

Season 4.

cheers jim.

i knew that straight away because i'm watching season 5 on dvd at the moment and in the box there is the first draft script to "the pilot" "season 4".

just watched the episode "the masseuse":

KRAMER: You know why Rifkin was a serial killer? Because he was adopted. Just like Son of Sam was adopted. So apparently adoption leads to serial killing.

Just got through watching all of it. Great stuff. It's not a line, so it may not count, but I love that bit where Jerry comes home and there's this... LASER of red light coming from Kramer's spyhole, and then he opens the door to this hell induced by the huge red neon chicken sign. I did NOT describe that well.

JERRY: Explain to me how this baby shower thing works.

ELAINE: What do you wanna know?

JERRY: Well, I mean, does it ever erupt into a drunken orgy of violence?

the one at the car dealership where george thinks the mechanic stole his twix. the way george's frustration slowly builds until by the end he's virtually a frothing lunatic is perfectly timed and acted.

"IT'S A TWIX! THEY'RE AAAAAAALL TWIX! IT WAS A SETUP! A SETUP, I TELL YA!"

good episode, when he accuses the bloke of having a dollar bill in his wallet

"You're. Incorrect"

Watching the one where Elaine gets bitten by a dog and she attacks Kramer, calling him a "Stupid hipster doofus"!

Kramer turns to George, who is eating pretzels, and asks "May I have one of those, madam" cos he's wearing ladies glasses.

haha that's the one where george turns up wearing swimming goggles, and Jerry says something like "so you're tunneling to the centre of the Earth?"

"Gonna need some water here!!"

"It shrinks?"

"like a frightened turtle!"

when they're trying to find out if the yogurt has fat in or not and jerry gets the results and after kramer asks what the results are and jerry gets right in his face and goes "FAT!"

"Of course! My... cousin... was in a bubble."

the whole pinky toe story is one of my favorites. especially the cracker jack/prize exchange.

Kramer: Yeah, and after the ambulance left I found the toe. So I put it in a Cracker Jack box, filled it with ice and took off for the hospital.
George: You ran!?
Kramer: No I jumped on the bus. I told the driver "I got a toe here buddy, step on it!"
George: Holy cow!
Kramer: Yeah, yeah, then all of a sudden, this guy pulls out a gun. Well, I knew any delay is gonna cost her her pinky toe, so I got out of the seat and I started walking towards him. He says, "Where do you think you're going, Cracker Jack?" I said, "Well, I got a little prize for ya, buddy - " <Kramer throws two quick punches and a massive uppercut> - knocked him out cold!

You kept making the stops??

It's so weird that they made a backwards episode, I saw it and thought it was kind of pointless at the time. Now it seems pretty damn cool.

hahahaha yes xp

I had an idea for a thread inspired by the Dirty Lyrics/Double Entendres you didn't get as a kid, but understand as an adult thread but I'll just put it here:

Seinfeld lines/references that you didn't get as a kid but now understand. I watched the show from a young age and there are often some pretty highbrow/obscure references, but most of the ones I didn't get aren't so highbrow, but rather outdated/NY-based/Jewish stuff that was unknown to me growing up in Northern CA.
Por ejemplo:
The "hair in my farina" traumatic experience that Jerry remembers freaking out about when they're waiting for the babka (Still not sure exactly what a babka is). I remember thinking it was maybe some dirty reference I didn't get, but Farina is like a Cream of Wheat-type breakfast cereal.
I also remember not knowing WTF they were talking about in the Frogger episode-I missed the beginning and I was like "What's a fraga??"

i watched the sponge worthy episode when i was 11, I didn't get it.

and understanding about the pill and condoms it really put my head in a wtf position, where and how did a sponge come in to this?

^otm. forgot about that one.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Babka

"Not to be confused with vodka"

KRAMER: "You know you really shouldn't brush 24 hours before seeing the dentist."

JERRY: "I think that's eat 24 hours before surgery."

KRAMER: "Oh no, you got to eat before surgery, you need your strength."

funny one where George and Jerry are discussing the term 'Manslaughter' and how it sounds too vicious for it's definition. They try and come up with alternative names and Jerry's was "I can't believe it's not murder"