Remake/Remodel: DC Rebirth so you don't have to

Yeah, it's good. Even the Watchmen stuff isn't as awful as I would've expected - and it's only two issues.

I wish he could lose David Finch, though. They should prize Francesco Francavilla away from Snyder and put him on the main title. Best Batman artist since Norm Breyfogle, maybe?

breyfogle is def my batman artist in the way that neal adams might be for readers a generation before - he was so great

i haven't been keeping up on recent developments in the dcu because, amazingly, even i have better things to do with my time; is there a decent primer somewhere on what's going on with the watchmen shenanigans?

Don't light the Aldo-Signal!

my first post was a suggestion that we might need to stage an intervention itt for his own benefit, so that's a fair point

i'll do some googling of my own and no doubt i'll be back shortly to go 'lol wtf'

let's see if my theory of "you should be able to follow a plot without reading every back issue" holds up here, considering I've only read some news blurbs, Batman, and I think some sort of pre-event one-shot:
- There was something called Flashpoint, where Flash tried to save his mother from this other bad Flash guy (Thawne?) that created another timeline where Bruce's dad became Batman
- Something is screwed up and Batman found a letter from his dad that shouldn't have existed
- Apparently screwing with history in DC doesn't create alternate timelines, according to the Flash, it just rewrites the past and changes the present. So the Flashpoint universe should be gone and someone's held it there to screw with heroes
- Comedian button in Batcave? Watchmen? Something killed that Thawne guy with radiation and I've heard something about Dr. Manhattan being in the DC universe so idk?

i did some googling of my own

lol wtf

the idea of bringing the remnants of previous reboots into your current reboot is utter fucking madness

as far as I can tell, the whole New 52 thing where all the heroes have been doing their thing for a much abbreviated period yet have a bunch of history makes no sense to them in-universe either, and it wasn't a bad editorial decision in the real world but a godlike character from Watchmen that did this

I take back my previous statement, I did read some stuff on io9 about the two Supermen and how they've now merged and have both continuities wrapped into one guy

I thought at first they were going to switch to a Marvel model where changing the past creates an alternate dimension but uhhh apparently not

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-kVNACPg_pAs/UOSbFVTZ05I/AAAAAAAAEKk/M-sd6fx9r0Y/s1600/prince.jpg

imo the only real option is to just say that everything that happened in any DC comic, ever, is now in canon

they already did that like 15 years ago! it was called hypertime and it was working fine!

ffs dc you are a total shower of clueless bastards

Man, if only DC had been aware of its genetic predisposition when it took those initial, furtive nips of Crisis back in the '80s, maybe it wouldn't be slouched in an alley, desperately guzzling that off-brand Rebirth mouthwash today.

I demand they rebuild the DC universe but Batman is the one from that comic based on the 60s tv show

also Tom King will still write him

xxpost Watchmen being, I guess, the TV they stole from their brother in this metaphor.

occasionally peeling open a grimy floor-length trenchcoat to reveal tattered copies of red hood and the outlaws stapled to the lining, croaking 'hey kids! comics!' at passersby xxxp

GASP! As I swing into action!

Tom King's gone already, isn't he? This week's Batman is by someone else and clearly ghost written by the architects of the Johnsiverse.

To summarise:

Everything that ever happened to Superman has happened to this Superman, even the things that didn't. All his histories were merged into one in a battle against Mr Mxyzptlk after he (Myxy) escaped from the prison created by Mr Oz (who is increasingly looking not to be Ozymandias).

The button in the wall in Batman was activated by the Psycho Pirate's mask and brought the Reverse Flash into continuity before he was killed by someone who may or may not be Dr Manhattan (but certainly didn't seem to be). Batman got Flash to use the Cosmic Treadmill to try and find where Reverse Flash came from, and instead creates a new Flashpoint and they end up with Thomas Wayne. No idea where it's going.

Wonder Woman may be realising she's a fictional character, except in the books where she isn't. And the issues of her own book where she isn't.

Every other book has ignored Rebirth except where it creates their entire plot, for better or worse, which means we still have two Wally Wests, two Dick Grayson etc.

oh aldo :(

we still have two Wally Wests, two Dick Grayson etc.

jesus h christ

you can never have too much Dick

TBF, Marvel currently has multiple multiversal versions of the same characters coexisting within a single universe, but one at least senses that this was more of an intentional decision rather than something they woke up next to after a night they can't remember and then half-heartedly attempted to make the best of.

'Did I have two Dicks last night? Remember, dammit, remember!'

two dicks in the hand are worth one in the bush

I thought at first they were going to switch to a Marvel model where changing the past creates an alternate dimension but uhhh apparently not

I demand they rebuild the DC universe but Batman is the one from that comic based on the 60s tv show

Actually having two Dicks and Wallys and Gar Logans etc isn't as bad as it sounds because one set are only in whichever Titans book it is that isn't the Damien Wayne one, and the whole Rebirthiverse us ignoring it (despite it being the whole premise of Titans Hunt/Rebirthiverse/Missing Five Years, but that's OK because it turned out to be Abra Kadabra behind it and not anything to do with Doctor Manhattan after all).

oh aldo :(

Man, if only DC had been aware of its genetic predisposition when it took those initial, furtive nips of Crisis back in the '80s, maybe it wouldn't be slouched in an alley, desperately guzzling that off-brand Rebirth mouthwash today.

Luv this post!!

When I read those posts, I get the feeling like I can't tell if I'm having stroke or you are.

*a stroke <- evidence pointing towards me there.

having stroke is what you do with the spare Dick

Dickstroke the Sperminator [...sorry]

Did I say that the first Deathstroke arc in the Rebirthiverse was about him hiring an assassin to kill his daughter, so that he could protect her from said killer and spend more time with her? That's a slice of wtf.

Not that it matters, because Deathstroke was soft rebooted the following issue.

aldo, do you need a hug? seriously, i worry about your wellbeing - no-one should have to carry that kind of horror around in their heads

i'm sure not even dc execs do

Yes, all the evidence is that Aldo cares more about this shit than anyone at DC at any level.

Btw, in the dodgy DC Heroes RPG fro the 1980s had a map that put Metropolis in Pennsylvania and Gotham in NJ.

Does NYC exist in the DCU? I've never been clear on that -- I've seen it referenced in older comics, but never used as an actual setting (so wasn't sure if the references were just editorial glitches).

This thread is epic, btw... mad props to aldo (& ulysses)!

Yeah, a lot of Seven Soldiers was set there iirc

And werent the teen titans in NYC in the wolfman era?

it's amazing how much of the fictional DCU is in or near New Jersey

it's how you know it's a make-believe story

here's the map from the DC Heroes game.

It's not just Jersey, it's the abandoned Oyster Town part of Jersey

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Port_Norris%2C_New_Jersey

Metropolis is in Delaware(!?)

Ah, damn, I misremembered. But i was close!

The worst part of this is, when I went to go see Batman vs. Superman, me and my friend chuckled about Gotham was so close to Metropolis, it was basically Newark to NYC. Turns out he was right!

Johnsiverse Supergirl was set in the Lower East Side.

Current Titans (Dick & White Wally Time Displaced Ones) are in Manhattan.

Green Arrow is in Seattle.

Green Lanterns is in Detroit.

So the Northeast Corridor is like twice as crowded in the DCU... holiday traffic on I-95 must REALLY stink!

All that said we've arrived at the age where the best book DC are publishing is probably The Flintstones.

Speaking of which, there's a full-on DCU/Hanna-Barbera crossover in a couple of months seemingly in continuity.

We have a recent copy of "Scooby-Doo Team-Up: Featuring Martian Manhunter [and other alien heroes]" that my son likes to read... it is indeed pretty good, and has a more likable version of Starfire than I've seen in other media lately (including that goofy cartoon). If not for the Scooby-Doo content (which is "whatever"), I could see reading stuff like this from time to time; it's light, fun, and well done.

...speaking of which, ran into this business on the DC website; check out the talent involved, haha(!) -- http://www.dccomics.com/comics/scooby-apocalypse-2016/scooby-apocalypse-1