Here transcribe the most awkward conversations that you have had with relatives

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You are joking?

hmmm (hmmm), Thursday, 1 April 2004 14:38 (fifteen years ago) link

On the Picadilly Line travelling part of the way through London with my uncle (all this is loud enough that the whole carriage could hear it)
Uncle: I wouldn't fucking have that!
Me: What?
Uncle: Look, a white guy's standing up while *he's* (points overtly to black guy) sitting!
Me: Erm...
Uncle: I'd be right over telling him 'that's a white man's seat yer in'

By this time I'm attempting to disappear into my seat.

He then turns to a black girl across the carriage.
Uncle: So d'you like that reggae music then doll?
Me: This is my stop!

Onimo (GerryNemo), Thursday, 1 April 2004 14:39 (fifteen years ago) link

haha m. grout OTM!

Aaron A., Thursday, 1 April 2004 14:53 (fifteen years ago) link

Grandma: So you're moving to London?
Me: Yup!
Grandma: Just don't go falling in love with an ARAB!
Me: Umm...

mandee, Thursday, 1 April 2004 14:56 (fifteen years ago) link

dad: so, you ever try pot son?
me: no... i never really payed attention to that
dad: have you ever tried any of the harder drugs?
me:uhh... no.
dad: Me, I'd never inject anything.. thats where I draw the line
me: oh... cool
dad: so, you ever try seafood?
me: no.. dont like it

there was silence then for the next hour. Sometimes I really don't like my father.

sunjammerr, Thursday, 1 April 2004 15:00 (fifteen years ago) link

xpost - Only comes in second to the time when she awkwardly asked if I was a lesbian.

mandee, Thursday, 1 April 2004 15:10 (fifteen years ago) link

my dad once turned off the tv as he does when he's really serious. (when it's not that serious he just mutes.) And with this incredible stern face looks to the floor and says, "you know, son, me and your mum have come to a decisions." looks right at me. "we're going to make some spacecakes."

matthew james (matthew james), Thursday, 1 April 2004 15:11 (fifteen years ago) link

fourteen years pass...

dad caught me on the couch with a girl one school lunchtime and the next day he put a heavy hand on my shoulder as i was trying to make a sandwich and i thought

please no

and he said i just have to say one thing

please im thinking please dont start into some fuzzy when two people love each other shite im fifteen and its the ninet-

fiercely, into my ear: you dont have to come in her to make her pregnant

and hes gone, like the fuckin batman of shockingly undadlike filth, leaving me catatonic over a slice of white pan

~mine own~ bitcoin (darraghmac), Thursday, 14 March 2019 23:33 (seven months ago) link


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