Fighting Baseball for Super Famicom: A League of Fake Americans POLL

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ahhh, the tomahawk chop. so...distinctive

Karl Malone, Friday, 24 March 2017 23:41 (three years ago) link

Am i the first? We should definitely Spartacus this shit and confuse the fuck out of everyone not on ILG

Bobson Dugnutt (ulysses), Saturday, 25 March 2017 02:14 (three years ago) link

I don't think it's fair that you got to be the bobson, though. Now every time you post I'm cracking up. You've got the power - use it for something good.

Not the real Tombot (El Tomboto), Saturday, 25 March 2017 02:37 (three years ago) link


the raindrops and drop tops of lived, earned experience (BradNelson), Saturday, 1 April 2017 01:38 (three years ago) link

there has been at least one MLB player named Glenallen or Mixon

Supercreditor (Dr Morbius), Saturday, 1 April 2017 01:42 (three years ago) link

glenallen hill did this; you can ignore the mixon

mookieproof, Saturday, 1 April 2017 02:24 (three years ago) link

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

System, Tuesday, 4 April 2017 00:01 (three years ago) link

glenallen hill has a cameo in the mitchell report of all places

officer sonny bonds, lytton pd (mayor jingleberries), Tuesday, 4 April 2017 00:23 (three years ago) link

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

System, Wednesday, 5 April 2017 00:01 (three years ago) link

glad to see Sleve McDichael do well

Karl Malone, Wednesday, 5 April 2017 00:09 (three years ago) link

best pronounced with a ridiculous french accent

Karl Malone, Wednesday, 5 April 2017 00:10 (three years ago) link

No justice for Willie Dustice.

Vernon Locke, Wednesday, 5 April 2017 04:15 (three years ago) link

kind of want a custom dugnutt jersey

k3vin k., Wednesday, 5 April 2017 05:01 (three years ago) link

Dwigt Rortugal underperformed imo

softie (silby), Thursday, 6 April 2017 23:06 (three years ago) link

I would probably pay top dollar to sample dry cured meats named after a lot of these guys

The Jams Manager (1992, Brickster) (El Tomboto), Friday, 7 April 2017 00:43 (three years ago) link

Can I come?

softie (silby), Friday, 7 April 2017 04:28 (three years ago) link

ciderpress, Saturday, 8 April 2017 16:15 (three years ago) link

loooool nice

I almost posted reds pitcher Rookie Davis to this thread but it wasn't quite right (Rooky Daves would be better)

Karl Malone, Saturday, 8 April 2017 16:17 (three years ago) link

Tookie Bavis

The Jams Manager (1992, Brickster) (El Tomboto), Saturday, 8 April 2017 17:17 (three years ago) link

lol yes

k3vin k., Saturday, 8 April 2017 21:10 (three years ago) link

three months pass...

so via this thread i learned the joys of these fake ballplayer names and introduced them to a programmer friend of mine who built a bot that tweets out procedurally generated dugnutts, please enjoy if you're interested:

Clay, Sunday, 6 August 2017 23:06 (three years ago) link

this is rad af

for sale: clown shoes, never worn (bizarro gazzara), Sunday, 6 August 2017 23:13 (three years ago) link

Awesome. Looks like it hit for the cycle on August 4

El Tomboto, Sunday, 6 August 2017 23:27 (three years ago) link

lol at sherwood figgill

Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Monday, 7 August 2017 00:36 (three years ago) link

this is great

i wonder what would happen if you seeded it with current nhl player names (since some of the fighting baseball roster is a letter or two off from contemporaneous hockey players)

sincerely, Puukka Obuchkin

the portentous pepper (govern yourself accordingly), Monday, 7 August 2017 03:04 (three years ago) link

two months pass...

Belated applause for ulysses’ excellent universe building efforts on this thread

El Tomboto, Sunday, 8 October 2017 02:11 (two years ago) link

btw I died all over again reading through this. We really need to make the dugnutt jerseys happen

El Tomboto, Sunday, 8 October 2017 02:14 (two years ago) link

six months pass...

— Cory Byrom (@cdbyrom) April 11, 2018

Karl Malone, Wednesday, 11 April 2018 16:12 (two years ago) link

can't believe Mike Truk didn't win this

ciderpress, Wednesday, 11 April 2018 16:21 (two years ago) link

i keep thinking about Karl Dandleton

Karl Malone, Wednesday, 11 April 2018 16:29 (two years ago) link

this is the gift that keeps on giving

#TheBeatlesIn5Words Both surviving members are Vegan (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 11 April 2018 16:32 (two years ago) link

six months pass...

My wife plays Disney Emoji Blitz (I know), and it has a thing where if you don't have enough Facebook friends to fill out your leaderboard, the spaces get filled with "other random" players. They're very obviously just bot names rather than real users though. Right now she's in the lead, followed closely by Brisket Jimmothy! BRISKET JIMMOTHY!

(I already googled, zero results)

JimD, Friday, 12 October 2018 22:35 (one year ago) link

Jimmothy Cricket

I have measured out my life in coffee shop loyalty cards (silby), Friday, 12 October 2018 22:40 (one year ago) link

seven months pass...

this list of top tier lacrosse players names is destroying my life right now

— intrusive thot (@kittygaga_) May 16, 2019

Clay, Saturday, 18 May 2019 02:42 (one year ago) link

You had me up until “IV Stucker, Sr.”

i believe that (s)he is sincere (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 18 May 2019 04:22 (one year ago) link

this followup tweet also worth looking at:

Don't forget the women.

— John M. Cunningham (@jmcunning) May 17, 2019

silverfish, Saturday, 18 May 2019 05:11 (one year ago) link

"Lizabanks Campagna"

silverfish, Saturday, 18 May 2019 05:12 (one year ago) link

two months pass...

Not one of the original names, but while I was scanning the synopsis of Cats my brain remembered “Grisdedelda” -> LOL

El Tomboto, Monday, 22 July 2019 00:36 (one year ago) link

this site for whatever reason seems to automatically generate unlimited #s of names like this - put your area code & prefix in the URL

tag yourself, I'm Charitee Dingfelder

frogbs, Monday, 22 July 2019 17:41 (one year ago) link

Palakika Huckabone

El Tomboto, Tuesday, 23 July 2019 02:20 (one year ago) link

Dody Gong

Karl Malone, Tuesday, 23 July 2019 02:24 (one year ago) link

ten months pass...

In retirement, Anatoli Smorin was forced to confront that most human of conundrums. Having succeeded, what now? Eight million dollars earned over a twenty year career as the fan-favorite second baseman for the Possum Grape, Arkansas Dimbiddlers had made him a rich man. But it had not made him happy.

"I try drugs, deep sea fishing, cosplay, death metal band. All of it, wasted. So much money and time." He errantly kicks the pile of sawdust on the ground, his eyes clouding over in remembrance. "Recording industry more corrupt than baseball even. So I leave Arkansas. It not easy; I had come to love Arkansas ways and they have been so welcoming to me and my family. But something had to change. So I move to your Vistconsin. I buy four thousand acres, virgin land. First virgin thing I ever have, no?" Smorin's booming laugh echoes from some far-off mountain.

"I get mobile home. I park in field. I start to explore my land. That is when this forest, it speak to me." Anatoli's grin widens, showing gaps between teeth in the back of his mouth. "Long green everywhere, spread out over how you say VALLEY. Untouched for centuries, waiting for real man to arrive and show woods discipline. You Americans have word for this man? You call him lumberchuck. I recognize this American spirit, I hear it in my bones." Anatoli hefts his axe from one burly, ginger-befurred shoulder and plants it nearly a third deep in a mute pine. "Was only baseball that stop me from potential. I was lumberchuck all along."

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Thursday, 11 June 2020 17:07 (three months ago) link


Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 11 June 2020 17:15 (three months ago) link

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