it was them that friended me, I didn't want to hurt anybody's feewings
― waht, I am true black metal worrior (Neanderthal), Thursday, 9 March 2017 04:29 (seven years ago) link
I wanted to say I don't have any dreams because I'm dead inside but I didn't think that would go over too well.
― tokyo rosemary, Thursday, 9 March 2017 04:50 (seven years ago) link
"last night I dreamed...somebody loved me..."
― waht, I am true black metal worrior (Neanderthal), Thursday, 9 March 2017 04:52 (seven years ago) link
told the person that is supposed to be taking over this project for me that I would be in mandatory manager training today and tomorrow, and asked her to handle tasks in my absence.
about 4-5 requests came in today addressed to us both, she didn't touch a goddamn one of them. Nice unexpected 2.5 hours of work for me (of course, there shouldn't be 4-5 last minute urgent requests coming in either, but that's another story)
― waht, I am true black metal worrior (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 14 March 2017 00:16 (seven years ago) link
i work in an "agile team" which many of you may know is full of snakeoil and bs but the "standup" meeting in which everyone stands each morning and says what they did the day before and what they're doing this day can be excruciating. i think the point is that because you're standing you spend less time, but ime some people have no self-awareness about the stuff they're saying or the relevance of it to everyone else, or they lack the ability to clearly communicate a few tasks that might be of interest, so you get like an unedited story of their day, while you stand. it is really tiresome at times in my new job.
― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Friday, 17 March 2017 10:46 (seven years ago) link
It's entirely built in unfortunately
Schoolchildren stuff but pays the bills
― brat_stuntin (darraghmac), Friday, 17 March 2017 10:48 (seven years ago) link
glad to hear it's in ireland also.
i've worked in teams where any diversion would be hurried on, in a way that was polite and just a fact of the meeting. people would just laugh if they were told to save it for a conversation after the meeting. i guess it's just a matter of a good culture. some places have it, some places don't. all good people in my new place but just more problems generally about culture as it's more distinctly civil service than my last place. there's a sort of faffing politeness about the british civil service, as you'd expect.
― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Friday, 17 March 2017 11:01 (seven years ago) link
Over here the politeness ain't a necessity
― brat_stuntin (darraghmac), Friday, 17 March 2017 11:16 (seven years ago) link
we had a 1 minute 'hourglass' in our scrums. but we also had 20 people in them...
― koogs, Friday, 17 March 2017 11:47 (seven years ago) link
a weird, young security zealot arrives in the evening and sits near me watching wrestling videos & trump propaganda loudly on his phone. i try not to engage, but he seems to have decided that i'm his friend and is persistently chatty. lately, he's taken to expressing his vaguely lewd appreciation of certain female staff members & students as they pass by our vicinity. i get the sense that this is for my benefit, an attempt at "male bonding". all of which i've mentioned to my boss, who shrugged it off :/
― The sandwiches looked quite dank. (contenderizer), Friday, 17 March 2017 11:51 (seven years ago) link
Saying "excuse me, I have to get back to work" in a bright cheery tone has worked wonders for me over the years.
― well the bitter comes out better on a stolen Switch cartridge (snoball), Friday, 17 March 2017 11:56 (seven years ago) link
Security zealot shouldn't be watching anything except the office. I'd be tempted to reprimand him for a lack of professionalism.
― syzygy stardust (suzy), Friday, 17 March 2017 12:37 (seven years ago) link
Wacky office Irish guy walking around in giant Irish flag plus matching wig
― Chuck_Tatum, Friday, 17 March 2017 14:14 (seven years ago) link
Now he's wearing a giant green bowtie semi-ironically chanting "Let's get drunk, let's get drunk"
Now he's hanging the flag from the ceiling and drawing a crowd
― Chuck_Tatum, Friday, 17 March 2017 14:16 (seven years ago) link
Send death squad plz. Take me, take him, I don't care which
Irish or "Irish"
― brat_stuntin (darraghmac), Friday, 17 March 2017 15:13 (seven years ago) link
hmm i wonder
― not even my mate ross king sniffed out this hot gossip (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 17 March 2017 15:23 (seven years ago) link
oirish
― mh 😏, Friday, 17 March 2017 15:25 (seven years ago) link
He's from Dublin and likes writing wacky reviews on Amazon, which he shares with us on Slack
― Chuck_Tatum, Friday, 17 March 2017 15:33 (seven years ago) link
it me
― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Friday, 17 March 2017 15:35 (seven years ago) link
busted
― Neil S, Friday, 17 March 2017 15:37 (seven years ago) link
for reference: The Reinforcin' O' The Stereotypes
jesus god this guy sounds like a monster
― not even my mate ross king sniffed out this hot gossip (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 17 March 2017 15:38 (seven years ago) link
Yeah no arguments carry on
― brat_stuntin (darraghmac), Friday, 17 March 2017 15:41 (seven years ago) link
colleague just came around the desk to show me a "prototype" he's made for putting a wardrobe in his house. like some string that showed where the wardrobe would be. as he came around i sort of thought "please no it's 4 o'clock i have a hangover, please be going elsewhere" but i couldn't have prepared myself for a story that was so hard to respond to with the straight bat of a smile.
― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Friday, 17 March 2017 16:13 (seven years ago) link
my eyes were having none of it - entirely dead as i gazed up trying to nod enthusiastically.
― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Friday, 17 March 2017 16:14 (seven years ago) link
like some string that showed where the wardrobe would be
Retaliate by giving him a one hour lecture on Visio.
― well the bitter comes out better on a stolen Switch cartridge (snoball), Friday, 17 March 2017 16:17 (seven years ago) link
wow a prototype for a wardrobe made of string. jesus.
― Islamic State of Mind (jim in vancouver), Friday, 17 March 2017 16:18 (seven years ago) link
it was like, just some string that showed where the wardrobe would be. he said "until you do this you just have no idea of what it'll be like to have a wardrobe there" - it seemed to me given there's nothing inside the borders of the string you still have no idea but i didn't want to ruin the lifehack.
― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Friday, 17 March 2017 16:19 (seven years ago) link
"until you do this you just have no idea of what it'll be like to have a wardrobe there"
bwaahaha
― Islamic State of Mind (jim in vancouver), Friday, 17 March 2017 16:20 (seven years ago) link
no part of that story seems like relatable human behaviour
srsly wtf is going on with that guy
― not even my mate ross king sniffed out this hot gossip (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 17 March 2017 16:20 (seven years ago) link
send him the link to google sketchup and tell him real men 3d model the interiors of their homes
― mh 😏, Friday, 17 March 2017 16:20 (seven years ago) link
one weird trick to get an idea of what it'll be like to have a wardrobe there
― not even my mate ross king sniffed out this hot gossip (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 17 March 2017 16:21 (seven years ago) link
interior designers hate him!
i feel like i meet people like this all the time in my working life, especially since i've got more into digital service design. like i guess it's techno utopianism in a way, with a bit of lifehacking thrown in. the guy is an interaction designer - i guess often they try to bring the logic of their work into their home lives or something.
― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Friday, 17 March 2017 16:23 (seven years ago) link
today our client comes raging about an escalation and of course I got asked matter of factly by an exec "Neanderthal, did you train the reps on these types of calls?".
Would that be the same "types of calls" that our client asked us to handle less than a fucking hour prior to the grand opening (one full week AFTER training) that you inexplicably agreed to (despite it being well outside the sphere of the contract) and despite TWO OF US LOUDLY PROTESTING TO YOU THAT SOMETHING LIKE THIS WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU AGREED TO IT?
― waht, I am true black metal worrior (Neanderthal), Saturday, 18 March 2017 03:06 (seven years ago) link
humorously enough though I got an award for my work on the project just a day earlier, lol
I think the best part of every story on this thread is when bosses and coworkers use your ilx handles to address everyone
― SFTGFOP (El Tomboto), Saturday, 18 March 2017 13:26 (seven years ago) link
excuse me, Neanderthal is my gov't name
― waht, I am true black metal worrior (Neanderthal), Saturday, 18 March 2017 14:16 (seven years ago) link
same piece of string guy i mentioned upthread keeps like tapping me on the shoulder etc. this morning i was waiting for the lift and i got this jab on the arm, i didn't even respond i just looked at him and he was like "good morning!"
what a fucking weirdo. it's not even like football jock jabbing, just some bizarre attempt at camaraderie.
― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Friday, 24 March 2017 09:59 (seven years ago) link
anyone who touches me in the office is getting fucking lamped tbh
― physicist and christian lambert dolphin (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 24 March 2017 11:32 (seven years ago) link
he did it again like five mins later, tapped me on the shoulder vigorously. anyone knows you do the whole handwave thing if someone has headphones in.
― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Friday, 24 March 2017 11:42 (seven years ago) link
bizarro otm
― Yoni Loves Chocha (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 24 March 2017 15:43 (seven years ago) link
he's about to go now i think, i took my headphones off because i honestly think if i don't i'll get a third tap o' the day.
― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Friday, 24 March 2017 17:00 (seven years ago) link
has also impersonated my accent two/three times in the two or so weeks i've worked with him.
it is v strange, all these things together and you might think he's some sort of obnoxious alpha male, the reverse is true, i think he is doing these strange things as some effort of shared masculinity or something. he's not a particularly bad guy, but extremely annoying.
― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Friday, 24 March 2017 17:01 (seven years ago) link
oh god the accent thing.
― bomb diggy diggy diggy bomb diggy bomb (jim in vancouver), Friday, 24 March 2017 17:04 (seven years ago) link
he said "i'll be flying *ROYANAIR*" in one of those horrendous attempts at irish accents that english people do.
― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Friday, 24 March 2017 17:05 (seven years ago) link
i was tweeting about this but it is bizarre to me that somebody might somehow think "he's irish, he's going to love this one! it's ME doing HIS accent!!"
― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Friday, 24 March 2017 17:06 (seven years ago) link
my boss and another coworker incessantly do impressions of a handful of coworkers & i hate it so much
― Yoni Loves Chocha (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 24 March 2017 17:23 (seven years ago) link