Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

I was typically like that in the first half of my career. One of my best friends is someone I met at work ten years ago, but other than him, was very much separation of church and state. when I joined my new department 6 years ago though, I kind of caved because it's more of a tightknit environment and I let my guard down a little.

I have several of them, including the head of my dept as FB friends, but they're all filtered to a Friend list I've marked "exclusions" that I block from seeing all posts, so they can't see anything I post, other than Profile photo and cover photo updates (and the drunken video of me seeing Mayhem that I accidentally made Public).

i won't even list the company I work for on Facebook anymore.

I got tagged with 100 of my co-workers, past and present, to a Facebook post that said "HERE'S US ON CAKE DAY!" and it was a video clip of Forrest Gump running down a dirt road.

but they're all filtered to a Friend list I've marked "exclusions" that I block from seeing all posts, so they can't see anything I post

Really whats the point of friending someone then, I say?

(I should practice what I preach and defriend the people i unfollowed a jillion years ago)

it was them that friended me, I didn't want to hurt anybody's feewings

I wanted to say I don't have any dreams because I'm dead inside but I didn't think that would go over too well.

"last night I dreamed...somebody loved me..."

told the person that is supposed to be taking over this project for me that I would be in mandatory manager training today and tomorrow, and asked her to handle tasks in my absence.

about 4-5 requests came in today addressed to us both, she didn't touch a goddamn one of them. Nice unexpected 2.5 hours of work for me (of course, there shouldn't be 4-5 last minute urgent requests coming in either, but that's another story)

i work in an "agile team" which many of you may know is full of snakeoil and bs but the "standup" meeting in which everyone stands each morning and says what they did the day before and what they're doing this day can be excruciating. i think the point is that because you're standing you spend less time, but ime some people have no self-awareness about the stuff they're saying or the relevance of it to everyone else, or they lack the ability to clearly communicate a few tasks that might be of interest, so you get like an unedited story of their day, while you stand. it is really tiresome at times in my new job.

It's entirely built in unfortunately

Schoolchildren stuff but pays the bills

glad to hear it's in ireland also.

i've worked in teams where any diversion would be hurried on, in a way that was polite and just a fact of the meeting. people would just laugh if they were told to save it for a conversation after the meeting. i guess it's just a matter of a good culture. some places have it, some places don't. all good people in my new place but just more problems generally about culture as it's more distinctly civil service than my last place. there's a sort of faffing politeness about the british civil service, as you'd expect.

Over here the politeness ain't a necessity

we had a 1 minute 'hourglass' in our scrums. but we also had 20 people in them...

a weird, young security zealot arrives in the evening and sits near me watching wrestling videos & trump propaganda loudly on his phone. i try not to engage, but he seems to have decided that i'm his friend and is persistently chatty. lately, he's taken to expressing his vaguely lewd appreciation of certain female staff members & students as they pass by our vicinity. i get the sense that this is for my benefit, an attempt at "male bonding". all of which i've mentioned to my boss, who shrugged it off :/

Saying "excuse me, I have to get back to work" in a bright cheery tone has worked wonders for me over the years.

Security zealot shouldn't be watching anything except the office. I'd be tempted to reprimand him for a lack of professionalism.

Wacky office Irish guy walking around in giant Irish flag plus matching wig

Now he's wearing a giant green bowtie semi-ironically chanting "Let's get drunk, let's get drunk"

Now he's hanging the flag from the ceiling and drawing a crowd

Send death squad plz. Take me, take him, I don't care which

Irish or "Irish"

hmm i wonder

oirish

He's from Dublin and likes writing wacky reviews on Amazon, which he shares with us on Slack

it me

busted

for reference: The Reinforcin' O' The Stereotypes

He's from Dublin and likes writing wacky reviews on Amazon, which he shares with us on Slack

jesus god this guy sounds like a monster

Yeah no arguments carry on

colleague just came around the desk to show me a "prototype" he's made for putting a wardrobe in his house. like some string that showed where the wardrobe would be. as he came around i sort of thought "please no it's 4 o'clock i have a hangover, please be going elsewhere" but i couldn't have prepared myself for a story that was so hard to respond to with the straight bat of a smile.

my eyes were having none of it - entirely dead as i gazed up trying to nod enthusiastically.

like some string that showed where the wardrobe would be

Retaliate by giving him a one hour lecture on Visio.

wow a prototype for a wardrobe made of string. jesus.

it was like, just some string that showed where the wardrobe would be. he said "until you do this you just have no idea of what it'll be like to have a wardrobe there" - it seemed to me given there's nothing inside the borders of the string you still have no idea but i didn't want to ruin the lifehack.

"until you do this you just have no idea of what it'll be like to have a wardrobe there"

bwaahaha

no part of that story seems like relatable human behaviour

srsly wtf is going on with that guy

send him the link to google sketchup and tell him real men 3d model the interiors of their homes

one weird trick to get an idea of what it'll be like to have a wardrobe there

interior designers hate him!

i feel like i meet people like this all the time in my working life, especially since i've got more into digital service design. like i guess it's techno utopianism in a way, with a bit of lifehacking thrown in. the guy is an interaction designer - i guess often they try to bring the logic of their work into their home lives or something.

today our client comes raging about an escalation and of course I got asked matter of factly by an exec "Neanderthal, did you train the reps on these types of calls?".

Would that be the same "types of calls" that our client asked us to handle less than a fucking hour prior to the grand opening (one full week AFTER training) that you inexplicably agreed to (despite it being well outside the sphere of the contract) and despite TWO OF US LOUDLY PROTESTING TO YOU THAT SOMETHING LIKE THIS WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU AGREED TO IT?

humorously enough though I got an award for my work on the project just a day earlier, lol

I think the best part of every story on this thread is when bosses and coworkers use your ilx handles to address everyone

excuse me, Neanderthal is my gov't name

same piece of string guy i mentioned upthread keeps like tapping me on the shoulder etc. this morning i was waiting for the lift and i got this jab on the arm, i didn't even respond i just looked at him and he was like "good morning!"

what a fucking weirdo. it's not even like football jock jabbing, just some bizarre attempt at camaraderie.

anyone who touches me in the office is getting fucking lamped tbh

he did it again like five mins later, tapped me on the shoulder vigorously. anyone knows you do the whole handwave thing if someone has headphones in.

bizarro otm

he's about to go now i think, i took my headphones off because i honestly think if i don't i'll get a third tap o' the day.

has also impersonated my accent two/three times in the two or so weeks i've worked with him.

it is v strange, all these things together and you might think he's some sort of obnoxious alpha male, the reverse is true, i think he is doing these strange things as some effort of shared masculinity or something. he's not a particularly bad guy, but extremely annoying.