lush do love a bit of the matey patter on the containers
― Islamic State of Mind (jim in vancouver), Thursday, 2 March 2017 22:02 (seven years ago) link
me ol' china
leave matey out of it
― kinder, Friday, 3 March 2017 13:55 (seven years ago) link
Innocent don't make swearwords, but if they did it would probably be cockwomble
https://www.vice.com/en_uk/article/how-twitter-ruined-swearing
― Alba, Friday, 3 March 2017 14:21 (seven years ago) link
agreed, can't stand itsame as cuntmuffinpissbollocks is fine though, don't think that should be tarred with the same brush in that article
― kinder, Friday, 3 March 2017 14:27 (seven years ago) link
https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=cockfarmer&num=20&safe=active&source=lnt&tbs=cdr%3A1%2Ccd_min%3A%2Ccd_max%3A1%2F1%2F2002&tbm=
― barbarian radge (NotEnough), Friday, 3 March 2017 14:32 (seven years ago) link
genuinely started thinking Catweasel had been called Cockweasel because of all this
― nashwan, Friday, 3 March 2017 14:39 (seven years ago) link
that senator that called Trump a shitgibbon the other day and got loads of Americans tweeting like clapping seals - that was dispiriting
wonder if it's prevalent outside of the English language and if it denotes tweeness in the same way. German seems like it would be naturally prone
― Vlogs from other credible bands such as Shed Seven (DJ Mencap), Friday, 3 March 2017 15:15 (seven years ago) link
https://twitter.com/mhairimcf/status/842652167630675969
http://i.imgur.com/1vxg9Uc.jpeg
― Alba, Friday, 17 March 2017 08:44 (seven years ago) link
From tweet's thread. Argh.
http://i.imgur.com/2zoeQ10.jpeg
― Alba, Friday, 17 March 2017 08:50 (seven years ago) link
I have been out of the UK for a decade and now all the supermarkets have these weird too-chummy bullshit adverts everywhere.
http://i.imgur.com/8fqHaZk.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/PSrsgbY.jpg
I know this is very small potatoes as far as this thread goes, but it's just everywhere I look, and I want it to go away and it's not going to go away
― Camaraderie at Arms Length, Friday, 31 March 2017 20:18 (seven years ago) link
our dad's post-footie pizza is pretty terrible
― -_- (jim in vancouver), Friday, 31 March 2017 20:19 (seven years ago) link
Our Dad's "post footie" road pizza, the fucking dickhead was paralytic and drove right over a cat!
― calzino, Friday, 31 March 2017 20:23 (seven years ago) link
Does anyone really imagine it's not an actor? They've got the recipe and all the ingredients set up on a stall. It's an actor, Tesco made the recipe, it's just a recipe the supermarket are handing out, it's not some special fucking connection to someone's dad, this is genuinely annoying me every time I go in Tesco. And where to even start with #fooddancing? Are we all supposed to dance in Sainsbury's? Why?
― Camaraderie at Arms Length, Friday, 31 March 2017 20:32 (seven years ago) link
Sorry, I probably should not let myself get annoyed with this stuff, realise there are much more important things to deal with in the country.
― Camaraderie at Arms Length, Friday, 31 March 2017 20:33 (seven years ago) link
yes but it's extremely annoying
― kinder, Friday, 31 March 2017 20:34 (seven years ago) link
This stuff is symptomatic of the general shiteness of absolutely everything in this country though
― ultros ultros-ghali, Friday, 31 March 2017 20:35 (seven years ago) link
whatever wanker came up with #fooddancing is such an eternal oxygen thief, it is definitely worthy of getting miffed about. It also seems quite tasteless in an era where many are reliant on tins of processed foods handouts in foodbanks to make the calories. Yeah, fucking fooddancing alright.
― calzino, Friday, 31 March 2017 20:49 (seven years ago) link
This is justified anger, fuck cuddle marketing forever
― Django Chutney (Noodle Vague), Friday, 31 March 2017 22:04 (seven years ago) link
what... IS fooddancing?
― Chuck_Tatum, Friday, 31 March 2017 22:04 (seven years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5cerYLItHwg
― calzino, Friday, 31 March 2017 22:40 (seven years ago) link
stuff about swearing being ruined otm
― Never changed username before (cardamon), Saturday, 1 April 2017 13:56 (seven years ago) link
hate all this stuff, hate it
The swearing stuff - it's just a bad pastiche of old chris morris/malcolm tucker neologisms, right? Not so much a deliberate attempt to be cutesy as a poor attempt to do comedy.
Not that it matters - both are bad. There's a link between Innocent cutesiness and the awful current need to be FUNNY AT ALL TIMES but they're sort of two separate horrible things
― Chuck_Tatum, Saturday, 1 April 2017 17:56 (seven years ago) link
it's a "funniness" infected with twee tho, partly a bourgeois "too good to use the same swears as the common rabble" and partly a "funny sounds are funny" faux childishness
― Django Chutney (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 1 April 2017 18:03 (seven years ago) link
From the FAQ section of a once-popular British comedy website circa 2003 or so;
http://i.imgur.com/R6nspCn.jpg
― Camaraderie at Arms Length, Saturday, 1 April 2017 20:40 (seven years ago) link
this twee swearing stuff is something only English people do, right? (possibly Welsh people as well, idk)
― soref, Saturday, 1 April 2017 20:50 (seven years ago) link
which other bellending nation of felchworn gapepandas would be smegming sad enough?
― Django Chutney (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 1 April 2017 20:58 (seven years ago) link
The twee swearing thing is horrible, but I still think we're generally better when it comes to real swearing
― Camaraderie at Arms Length, Saturday, 1 April 2017 21:07 (seven years ago) link
Sam Kriss otm: https://www.vice.com/en_uk/article/how-twitter-ruined-swearing
― Neil S, Saturday, 1 April 2017 21:48 (seven years ago) link
I am probably being harsh but I was passing a pub in my local countryside - The Woolpack no less! On the sign it reads "FINEST CASK ALES. A REAL FIREPLACE. DIRTY BOOTS AND MUDDY DOGS ARE WELCOME HERE".It got me thinking of amusing combinations of radge types that would deliberately stand in a dogshit + walk it in along with a snarling Akita that has just rolled in a pile of manure if that pub was a bit closer to the estate.
― calzino, Saturday, 15 April 2017 09:56 (seven years ago) link
Working exclusively with out British strawberry growers we turn their excess berries into the rich sweet conserve in these doughnuts. Not only are we wasting less fresh fruit but we are able to make the most of this delectable summer fruit.
― Zings Can Only Get Better (snoball), Saturday, 3 June 2017 08:35 (six years ago) link
So, you’ve started saving up for your brand new pug-shaped money box, wahoo!
But those accounts can be confusing; what do all those letters and % mean? And what about the interest you’ll be getting on those savings? And how is it different when you borrow money?
Well, @doddleoddle is with us again to help explain here.#dodie#doddleoddle#money stuff#nationwide#banking#money#cash#signal boost#gif#fun
― Neil S, Tuesday, 6 June 2017 04:44 (six years ago) link
http://www.gizmodo.co.uk/2017/06/virgin-trains-are-facing-delays-because-a-trampoline-was-on-the-track/
― koogs, Wednesday, 7 June 2017 08:02 (six years ago) link
nothing would cheer me up more whilst stood waiting for a delayed train/missed connection than some light-hearted banter from customer services
― At Last the 1933 Show (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 7 June 2017 08:12 (six years ago) link
imagine the crushing day-to-day horror of life as virgin trains' social media manager
― alcohol aficionado zane lamprey (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 7 June 2017 08:37 (six years ago) link
The implicit passive-aggressiveness of the Innocent aesthetic, made explicit:
http://confirmshaming.tumblr.com/
― Chuck_Tatum, Wednesday, 14 June 2017 12:57 (six years ago) link
Also:
http://i.imgur.com/uNVG3Vv.jpg
― Chuck_Tatum, Wednesday, 14 June 2017 12:59 (six years ago) link
Hi confession I thought "innocent smoothies" was slang for a dude with gently wild hair and an unbuttoned denim shirt who was aggressively no-pressuring you into purchasing a product, not the product itself
― ein Sexmonster (Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved), Wednesday, 14 June 2017 13:17 (six years ago) link
Anyone?
https://www.linkedin.com/jobs/view/313979985/
― Chuck_Tatum, Friday, 16 June 2017 12:06 (six years ago) link
imagining the kinds of twee, cringingly awful shit people will be writing in their applications is giving me a toothache
― cast your vote for fully automated gay space luxury communism (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 16 June 2017 12:10 (six years ago) link
Yeah but they're not really twee, that's the worst bit of it. These sorts of people are always calculating
― Never changed username before (cardamon), Friday, 16 June 2017 23:35 (six years ago) link
― Chuck_Tatum, Friday, June 16, 2017 5:06 AM (four days ago)
applications are closed :(
― sarahell, Wednesday, 21 June 2017 02:49 (six years ago) link
This is a more general marketing whine rather than Innocent specifically but some of this stuff is super awful: https://www.facebookawards.com/winners-gallery.html
(NB I work in marketing, sort of.)
― Chuck_Tatum, Wednesday, 21 June 2017 10:14 (six years ago) link
jesus fuck, this just turned up in my inbox
Big question for ya. Assuming it arrived without a hitch , is our Beard Balm the mind-blowing, life-changing, marriage-saving experience you’ve always wanted? Okay... maybe we’re reaching a little bit. Maybe. But a ll jokes aside (for now), do you have 30 seconds to give us your feedback? Perhaps 27.2 seconds, if we may be so bold?I know, I know… we’re not exactly the first company that ever asked you for honest, unbiased feedback. But at Smooth Viking, we never want to lose touch with what our fellow Vikings think. In other words, we're sentimental. Don't judge us. Pssh.Besides, there’s thousands of other bearded Amazon shoppers out there that like making informed decisions, so why not give them your honest and unbiased take to help your brothers out? #SharingIsCaring #TheMoreYouKnow #ThugLifeIf that sounds doable to you, shweet. Here’s the link to make it easy:Tell us your honest/unbiased thoughts while we think of more dumb hashtagsIf there's anything I can help you with, don't hesitate to reply and let me know. Thanks for taking some time out of your legendary day to do this, Ross. Take it easy.Charlie – Smooth Viking
Okay... maybe we’re reaching a little bit. Maybe. But a ll jokes aside (for now), do you have 30 seconds to give us your feedback? Perhaps 27.2 seconds, if we may be so bold?
I know, I know… we’re not exactly the first company that ever asked you for honest, unbiased feedback. But at Smooth Viking, we never want to lose touch with what our fellow Vikings think. In other words, we're sentimental. Don't judge us. Pssh.
Besides, there’s thousands of other bearded Amazon shoppers out there that like making informed decisions, so why not give them your honest and unbiased take to help your brothers out?
#SharingIsCaring #TheMoreYouKnow #ThugLife
If that sounds doable to you, shweet. Here’s the link to make it easy:
Tell us your honest/unbiased thoughts while we think of more dumb hashtags
If there's anything I can help you with, don't hesitate to reply and let me know. Thanks for taking some time out of your legendary day to do this, Ross. Take it easy.
Charlie – Smooth Viking
― bitumen: the animated series (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 5 July 2017 20:34 (six years ago) link
beards, that's where i'm a dipshit viking
― bitumen: the animated series (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 5 July 2017 20:35 (six years ago) link
honest/unbiased
― kinder, Wednesday, 5 July 2017 21:01 (six years ago) link
oh i'll be sending them an honest opinion alright
― bitumen: the animated series (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 5 July 2017 21:03 (six years ago) link
charlie from smooth viking here, i'd like to increase our email open-to-face-punch ratio. and no, i don't care if it's not physically possible.
― jenkem street team (carpet_kaiser), Wednesday, 5 July 2017 21:06 (six years ago) link
the fact that every model on their homepage is sporting an undercut (and one with a bun) makes my purchasing decision extremely easy
― El Tomboto, Wednesday, 5 July 2017 21:11 (six years ago) link