Things you were shockingly old when you learned

I get IUDs and IEDs mixed up.

masturbation, what it is, how everyone does it. i think it was like 7th grade or something before i learned.

they charge for obituaries and it is a lot more than you'd think

i knew they charged - some are much longer and more detailed than others, have pictures, etc. this always struck me as being connected to how much they cost - have no idea how much.

Obituary Notice - 3 Days $303.44
- 3 days in both The Vancouver Sun and The Province.
- Base cost includes 5 lines of text & Online at Remembering.ca for 1 year
- $61.80 for each additional line of text. Add a Colour photo for $326.

I've read some pricy obits it seems

a color photo in an obituary seems like the rough equivalent to an open-cask funeral

human resources does not mean resources for humans

(my first run-ins were all related to the benefits and insurance part of companies, so the naming based on staffing went over my head)

Hope all my friends open their casks at my funeral.

Both of them.

masturbation, what it is, how everyone does it. i think it was like 7th grade or something before i learned.
― Karl Malone, Thursday, February 23, 2017 7:05 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Man there i was with a Cindy Crawford GIF and quivering nether regions, freaked the fuck out that my dick was trying to make a cocoon, and a week later in health class they were describing the ole "Shebop" and that it was normal and meant we were ready to father a child. And i turned to my friends (both of em) and said OH SHIT I JUST DID THAT LAST WEEK! I'M READY TO FATHER A CHILD! I'M READY TO FATHER A-

and the tubby one punched me in the stomach and i fell to my knees

I had the general idea of how things worked but don't think I really did that act until 9th grade, yeeesh

Nowadays kids learn it from Wikihow pages

tbf I was a late bloomer (not to be confused with ilxor of that name)

when they said "B.G." on Snoop and Dre albums for years I thought they meant "Bee Gee", ie, someone out of the 70s, out of touch. realized years later it meant "baby gangsta".

just learned that Richard Cheese's pseudonym = "dickcheese"

ha this one only occurred to me a few weeks back as well, and we've been rocking his albums heaps lately.

That a hymen isn't like a thin bit of plastic kitchen wrap skin that goes over the vagina and gets punctured after sex.

If I had given this more than a second thought this would have clearly made no sense.

I don't propose to look up what age school grades indicate solely to find out when ilxors started masturbating

Will u ppl not just use age to indicate age ffs

think it wasnt until i was 17 or so that i realised that people had to pay milkmen? i didnt have some big alternative comedy theory about a publicly funded dairy welfare state or whatever it was just something that i had somehow never once encountered or thought about for a second

mightve been early 20s even idk

Like what else would be be doing at six am everyday, sure isn't he a milkman

Ross - well, corny romantic stuff

The phrasing and composition makes it all a bit unclear (the wiki quotes disagreement between Meat Loaf and Jim Steinman as to whether the lyrics were ambiguous) but when you read it it's p clear:

And I would do anything for love
I'd run right into hell and back
I would do anything for love
I'd never lie to you and that's a fact
But I'll never forget the way you feel right now,
Oh no, no way
And I would do anything for love, but I won't do that
No, I won't do that

^^in this verse he'd run right into hell + back but he won't lie to you and that's a fact

Just learnt that I can convert MKV files into something hopefully readable on my TV through a memory stick. VLC player can convert and save files. Haven't successfully done it yet but got one underway.
Been frustrating with tv not reading a load of stuff I've downloaded.

Now would really like to find out if i have any way of saving recordings made by Horizon box to something I could store on hard drive.

it's a subject complement rather than a direct object if you can't convert the sentence to passive voice

Stuart Sutcliffe was Scottish.

Swiffers are MALIGNANTLY USELESS

ding ding ding

though the little duster thingos work pretty good

yeah, those are alright, and wet Swiffers are at least barely functional, though a simple sponge mop does a better job and doesn't need a head change after every use. but a dry Swiffer mop is about as useful as rubbing the floor with a sheet of copier paper -- it traps a few odd specks of debris but 90% of it ends up getting pushed to the edge of the floor in ropey clumps that you end up having to vacuum or pick up with your fingers. my grandparents insisted that I use nothing but a Swiffer to clean their new kitchen floor (I think the contractor recommended it) but I rebelled and pulled out the vacuum while they were downstairs loudly watching Family Feud.

Just learnt that I can convert MKV files into something hopefully readable on my TV through a memory stick

this doesnt strike me as something people should have always known since they were 5 years old or anything, though?

when you're shockingly old, everything you learn is done in that state

Mkv files didn't exist when i was 5

Did I misspeak badly? I'm saying its perfectly reasonable to still not know MKV can convert to something else, heck I barely even know what that means, assume its some kind of video file conversion.

i was agreeing w/ you

Just now realized that Sheena Easton is Scottish. Always assumed she was American.

She came to fame through a fly on the wall documentary before having her first major hit in like '79/'80. Modern girl. I think at the time she had a pretty broad accent.
Prince reinvented her several years later. Not sure if she was heard of much between times. So could see why the confusion. Presumably she's U.S. based since then though.

I mean, she almost one-upped Dolly Parton with her own song called "9 to 5" - seemed American enough to me!

From Bellshill, home of (the main movers and shakers in) Teenage Fanclub, the Soup Dragons and the BMX Bandits.

... Indie Central, in other words.

Aw, let's be fair; "Morning Train" was written and recorded without knowledge of the Parton song. And upon release, they altered the title to avoid confusion. I don't love either song, but let's not imply there was intent to one-up or compete.

Best part is that it was all unintentional!

Just now realized that Sheena Easton is Scottish. Always assumed she was American.

― “Yeah. Huh, thanks.” (los blue jeans), Monday, February 27, 2017 11:09 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

In 1990, Easton revisited her home country of Scotland to perform at a festival (The Big Day) in Glasgow. After announcing, that it was "good to be back home" in an American accent, she had bottles (some containing urine) thrown at her and, visibly shaken, she was forced to cut her set short. She vowed never to perform in Scotland again.[12]

And of course Peel was a huge fan of Morning Train/9 To 5.

http://peel.wikia.com/wiki/Sheena_Easton?file=Barmy_army.jpg

i didn't realize that morning train (9 to 5) was by sheena easton

hah i learned that last week

it's possible that I could have had a slight confusion with Shelia E. as well

sheep are not females and goats are not males of the same species, around 18 or so

Aww.

Discovered a few months ago that instead of puncturing/tearing/peeling the plastic seals on the tops of wine/kombucha bottles it's sooo much easier just to twist them off (particularly with kombucha, where there's a screwcap involved).

i just learned what lupus actually is