Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

or maybe I will be! (well, the first part, not the Exec)

...and found out the premise upon which I had been operating for this project, which had been provided to me on Friday, was completely false. made my first deadline but had to re-do everything I did today. tomorrow there's another deadline and I have yet to receive but one of like ten things I requested and needed. was also told there would be models I could build from only to be told today oops, there actually aren't.

getting ready to Alan Smithee this thing.

Neanderthal, somewhere up the line from you is an executive feeling remarkably decisive and "nimble".

http://i.imgur.com/3FbMWNH.jpg

Not my office, but the fine facilities of Kurgo- maker of dog products.

But this one could be my office, especially on Fridays.

http://i.imgur.com/UvDCn53.jpg?1

Drives me bonkers.

yesterday i was unable to board a subway train because someone, at rush hour, was transporting their enormous dog, in a crate, on a trolley

pplains, stay strong

so that project I talked about above appeared to be going fine and today we're live. client decides NINETY MINUTES prior to opening to change the rules of engagement completely, demanding we go over all these things we didn't train on and do these things not even remotely in the contract. Idiot account Exec inexplicably AGREES to this shit without talking to anybody and then nobody forwards the instructions to us UNTIL AFTER WE WERE OPEN.

they scheduled an emergency meeting when we said "what the fuck" and I refused to do the work requested and said they needed to take it back to the client. Which they did, and at 2:30 I was told "sorry, they still want us to do this".

then I waited another 4 hours before I did it because I realized that it takes a Herculean effort to get fired these days and I just got the highest evaluation possible on my annual review so...fuck it

and on top of that Tijuana Flats got my UberEats order wrong AGAIN!1!!!!!! fukk uuuu

When co-workers come up behind you and whisper. I mean, there's literally nothing you can tell me that's worth whispering for.

we used to have this one when I was an entry level rep who would show up at your desk and immediately start asking a question without even bothering to check if you were on a call. I eventually stopped signaling "on a call" at her and would just let her talk and then resume talking to my customer so she'd feel stupid.

then again this is the lady who actually said "well according to my records, your mom's dead. you might wanna talk to your father" to a customer so.....

omg

I mean, if you want to rudely do a wicked own on your customer, I guess "you're mom's dead" is acceptable

LOL that reminds me of when I worked for a govt dept I wont name. Part of our assessments involved reviewing birth certificates. Now in Victoria in the 60s and 70s, adopted kids had their real birth details hidden but the cert itself had a code on it that meant ADOPTED if you happened to know thats what it meant.

Work colleague looking over a 50something mans paperwork cheerily says "oh so you're adopted!" to him.

He had no idea and was understandably quite upset.

that's like a comedy sketch about bureaucrats, just needs colleague saying "sir? sir??" because he's having a heart attack and can't respond

hahaha Trayce

omg!

Jesus.

holy shit

"Hi Dad! or should I call you FAKE DAD! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?"

Tbf, him being in his 50s, good chance he's already an orphan one or the other anyway.

O.M.G.

A manager sent out an email to everyone a little bit ago commemorating International Women's Day. Someone I work with who is kind of consistently a pain in the ass apparently didn't realize she clicked 'Reply All' when she responded: 'I’ll show my husband my b o o b s when I get home!'

Looooooool!

(I should note that one of the ways in which she's a pain in the ass is her inability to retain any pertinent work-related info no matter how many times it's reiterated. Such as, 'PLEASE STOP CLICKING 'REPLY ALL' WHEN YOU RESPOND TO DEPARTMENT-/COMPANY-WIDE EMAILS'. One hopes that she might have learned the lesson this time 'round.)

we've had our server go down when some idiot emails the entire firm about something because then 3,000 people start replying "take me off of this email chain" while replying all, then another 3,000 ironically write "PLEASE STOP REPLYING ALL" while replying all

Yeah, that happens about every three weeks or so in my workplace. And it's usually the same folks hitting 'reply all' every time it happens. I don't know how some of these people manage to feed themselves.

one of the times it happened it gave way to a really stupid urban legend that still goes around here.

so one guy basically gets sick of the 3 million emails, replies and basically calls everybody who was replying all "idiots" in the thread. and then people were talking about that and someone out of curiosity looked in our company director. He saw a guy who had the same first and last name (but with 2 minutes of research, was quite obviously not the same guy) and saw "terminated" next to his name, and starts a rumor that spreads like wildfire that the dude was fired for calling everybody idiots. It still gets brought up any time someone sends a snippy email ("careful - you don't wanna get fired like that guy who called everybody 'idiots').

*directory

i reply-all-ed once, died on the spot & immediately moved my reply-all icon to the other side of my toolbar so i wouldnt do it ever again

I insulted my ex-boss to another colleague of mine once on instant messaging while we were in a meeting with him. forgetting I was sharing my screen at the time with him.

fuck him though

My coworker was asking me what my dreams were. Um, nothing I feel like sharing at work???

One of the first questions the new security guard asked me was "where does your boyfriend work?" Um.

I guess people I work with make me say "um" a lot.

xpost WTF?

IME it's not really worth sharing too much with co-workers, at least at my job it feels like it could be used against me later on

I'm one of those people who draws a hard line between work and my outside life though, and I've rarely hung out with anyone here outside of work

Yep same.

Never ever ever anything ever add workmates to bookface or twitter
Next to never socialise with em out of hours (tho tbf I have done in past jobs)
Esp avoid getting mad drunk in front of workmates. Even though I'm a big drinker! Or perhaps especially because, haw.

I was typically like that in the first half of my career. One of my best friends is someone I met at work ten years ago, but other than him, was very much separation of church and state. when I joined my new department 6 years ago though, I kind of caved because it's more of a tightknit environment and I let my guard down a little.

I have several of them, including the head of my dept as FB friends, but they're all filtered to a Friend list I've marked "exclusions" that I block from seeing all posts, so they can't see anything I post, other than Profile photo and cover photo updates (and the drunken video of me seeing Mayhem that I accidentally made Public).

i won't even list the company I work for on Facebook anymore.

I got tagged with 100 of my co-workers, past and present, to a Facebook post that said "HERE'S US ON CAKE DAY!" and it was a video clip of Forrest Gump running down a dirt road.

but they're all filtered to a Friend list I've marked "exclusions" that I block from seeing all posts, so they can't see anything I post

Really whats the point of friending someone then, I say?

(I should practice what I preach and defriend the people i unfollowed a jillion years ago)

it was them that friended me, I didn't want to hurt anybody's feewings

I wanted to say I don't have any dreams because I'm dead inside but I didn't think that would go over too well.

"last night I dreamed...somebody loved me..."

told the person that is supposed to be taking over this project for me that I would be in mandatory manager training today and tomorrow, and asked her to handle tasks in my absence.

about 4-5 requests came in today addressed to us both, she didn't touch a goddamn one of them. Nice unexpected 2.5 hours of work for me (of course, there shouldn't be 4-5 last minute urgent requests coming in either, but that's another story)

i work in an "agile team" which many of you may know is full of snakeoil and bs but the "standup" meeting in which everyone stands each morning and says what they did the day before and what they're doing this day can be excruciating. i think the point is that because you're standing you spend less time, but ime some people have no self-awareness about the stuff they're saying or the relevance of it to everyone else, or they lack the ability to clearly communicate a few tasks that might be of interest, so you get like an unedited story of their day, while you stand. it is really tiresome at times in my new job.

It's entirely built in unfortunately

Schoolchildren stuff but pays the bills

glad to hear it's in ireland also.

i've worked in teams where any diversion would be hurried on, in a way that was polite and just a fact of the meeting. people would just laugh if they were told to save it for a conversation after the meeting. i guess it's just a matter of a good culture. some places have it, some places don't. all good people in my new place but just more problems generally about culture as it's more distinctly civil service than my last place. there's a sort of faffing politeness about the british civil service, as you'd expect.

Over here the politeness ain't a necessity

we had a 1 minute 'hourglass' in our scrums. but we also had 20 people in them...