EXCELSIOR is the second solo album by British musician LOLZ Coombes.

Be cool if there was a US president with just an oval of skin where the face should be, as smooth and featureless as an egg

― Houston John (Bananaman Begins), Friday, February 17, 2017 8:36 AM (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

should've voted McMullin then

― frogbs, Friday, February 17, 2017 8:36 AM (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

All seven planets in this system — TRAPPIST-1b, c, d, e, f, g and h — are similar in size to Earth and Venus, or slightly smaller. At least the innermost six are probably rocky in composition.

conspiracy theory - why is NASA covering up TRAPPIST-1a?

― Karl Malone, Wednesday, February 22, 2017 10:15 AM

TRAPPIST-1a is actually a beer

― mookieproof, Wednesday, February 22, 2017 10:16 AM

equal to 40 light beers imo

― Karl Malone, Wednesday, February 22, 2017 10:17 AM

hahaha

made the kirin run in 12 pabstsecs

I have, by a long and curious experience found out a means to wipe my bum. The most lordly, the most excellent, the most convenient that was ever seen. I have wiped my tail with a hen, with a cock, with a pullet, with a calf's skin, with a hare, with a pigeon, with a cormorant, with an attorney's bag, with a Montero, with a falconer's lure. But to conclude, I say and maintain that of all the torcheculs, arsewisps, bumfodders, tail-napkins, bunghole cleansers, and wipe-breeches, there is none in the world comparable to the neck of a goose, that is well downed, if you hold her head betwixt your legs. And believe me therein upon mine honour, for you will thereby feel in your nockhole a most wonderful pleasure, both in regard of the softness of the said down and of the temporate heat of the goose, which is easily communicated to the bum-gut and the rest of the inwards, in so far as to come even to the regions of the heart and brains.

― for sale: steve bannon waifu pillow (heavily soiled) (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 23 February 2017 07:54 (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Not sticking a goose up my nockhole

Sticking with washlet

― F♯ A♯ (∞), Thursday, 23 February 2017 08:18 (forty-one minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

don't nock it 'til you've tried it

― for sale: steve bannon waifu pillow (heavily soiled) (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 23 February 2017 08:24 (thirty-five minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I'm going to frame that one and hang it on my wall.

nice

the putt for eagle at the end is a great touch

I mean rabelais is doing all the work there otherwise

wgs

are we excelsioring book quotes now (xps)

book quotes in microsoft document writer format?

Yeah see what happened there is someone made Rabelais funny, it's much like what the pythons did for Gilliam

hey now, no docxing

rabelais is dece

so we'll allow him to enter our modern world

pdffft

Who is that Nordic metal guy who dresses up like some kind of orc creature? Flynn looks like that guy.

― Treeship, Sunday, March 5, 2017 9:37 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Can you be more specific?

― I want to change my display name (dan m), Sunday, March 5, 2017 9:45 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

apparently this is v bad

― a serious and fascinating fartist (Simon H.), Friday, March 10, 2017 2:45 PM (one week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

word is that it sucks

― jason waterfalls (gbx), Friday, March 10, 2017 2:46 PM (one week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i hear that it isn't good

― Milkwalker's World (Old Lunch), Friday, March 10, 2017 2:50 PM (one week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

early reviews say it's a dud

― Lauren Schumer Donor (Phil D.), Friday, March 10, 2017 2:51 PM (one week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i am given to understand that it is *poop emoji*

― im a male feminist, i have a fleshlight just to eat it out (bizarro gazzara), Friday, March 10, 2017 3:43 PM (one week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i actually think Phil's post is where I start laughing the hardest

I was attending an open mic night tonight where one guy got up and sang a Berry song. After he finished and everyone clapped, the organiser guy shouted "yeah lets all applaud a paedophile."

To which mass confusion ensued where the bloke singing thought he was talking about him. lol

― PressAnarchyToContinue (Ste), Sunday, March 19, 2017 5:43 PM

I can pretty much visualize that in my head. It's perfect/horrible comedy.

lmao

Animals are better than kids because you can eat animals.

Your move, kid lovers

― The night before all about day (darraghmac), Monday, March 20, 2017 3:15 PM (three minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

You can eat kids

― Pengest & Corsa (Noodle Vague), Monday, March 20, 2017 3:17 PM (one minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

if you eat a baby goat, all bases are covered

― Rachel Luther Queen (DJP), Monday, March 20, 2017 3:18 PM (one minute ago) Bookmark

Jesus cmon

Yeah, the second coming is well overdue...

deems doing his typical Kool-Aid man across ILX today i see

I've actually been attempting it the last day or two tbh but glad it's getting noticed 😎

this looks productive

https://draftbernie.org/sign-our-petition/

― Οὖτις, Tuesday, March 21, 2017 10:40 AM (thirteen minutes ago)

admittedly i prefer the Send the Clintons, Cuomo and Booker Into Space Permanently petition

― Supercreditor (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, March 21, 2017 10:47 AM (six minutes ago)

Oh, OK, you're back. Earlier you posted something that wasn't critical of the Clintons, and I was wondering if you'd suffered some sort of stroke.

― Don Van Gorp, midwest regional VP, marketing (誤訳侮辱), Tuesday, March 21, 2017 10:53 AM (three seconds ago)

One guy armed with a knife is unlikely to effectively attack parliament tbh.

― Ongar Is An Energy (Tom D.), Wednesday, 22 March 2017 21:28 (twelve minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

not with that kind of defeatist attitude they're not

― physicist and christian lambert dolphin (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 22 March 2017 21:29 (ten minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol

and now the moment we've all been waiting for, the unanimous winner of the Friends of Lompdort County Association "Best Friend of the Year" award is...

Mike Sernandez!!!

― Karl Malone, Friday, March 24, 2017 1:56 PM (twenty-nine minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

*cut to shot of a clearly disappointed Onson Sweemey clapping without much enthusiasm*

― Karl Malone, Friday, March 24, 2017 1:57 PM (twenty-eight minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I love "Friends of Lompdort"

<some garbage opinions>

― Acid Hose (Capitaine Jay Vee), Monday, March 27, 2017 11:21 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

That's an awful lot of wrong packed in to a pretty short post u must practice

― The night before all about day (darraghmac), Monday, March 27, 2017 11:22 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Nah you just disagree but that's par for the course

― Acid Hose (Capitaine Jay Vee), Monday, March 27, 2017 11:25 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Par for the course takes practice tbf

― The night before all about day (darraghmac), Monday, March 27, 2017 11:28 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

*golf clap*

I think deems would know if he gave himself cirrhosis in his late teens is what I'm saying

― samovars are trying to steep (wins), Monday, 27 March 2017 20:39 (yesterday) Permalink

Because that was fuckin aaaaaaages ago

― samovars are trying to steep (wins), Monday, 27 March 2017 20:40 (yesterday) Permalink

this is true

― bomb diggy diggy diggy bomb diggy bomb (jim in vancouver), Monday, 27 March 2017 20:44 (yesterday) Permalink

What are the cirrrryhmptoms

― The night before all about day (darraghmac), Monday, 27 March 2017 20:49 (yesterday) Permalink

yellow skin

― samovars are trying to steep (wins), Monday, 27 March 2017 20:51 (yesterday) Permalink

Wait that's the cirrrrrhympsons

― samovars are trying to steep (wins), Monday, 27 March 2017 20:52 (yesterday) Permalink

Happy Days lasting through the Beatles and Vietnam so weird. What was Potsie's reaction after JFK?

― pplains, Tuesday, March 28, 2017 11:11 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"Sit on it, Lee Harvey!"

― nickn, Wednesday, March 29, 2017 4:12 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i love that bit in Hammer of the Gods when Peter Grant goes up and introduces himself to Bob Dylan and says "hey, i manage the Zeppelin." then Dylan deadpans "I don't come to you with my problems."

― flappy bird, Monday, April 3, 2017 9:50 AM

I'm sleep deprived and I first misread that sentence as "introduced himself AS Bob Dylan" and wondered what stones it would take to go up to Bob Dylan and say you're Bob Dylan

― Neanderthal, Monday, April 3, 2017 9:55 AM

Dylan would still respond, "I don't come to you with my problems."

― Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Monday, April 3, 2017 9:56 AM

Something about the one-two of this:

If you want different angles maybe Mammoth Book Of Frankenstein? Agonizing Resurrection Of Frankenstein by Ligotti and the Aldiss book.

The Bride is another non-universal film but it's not very good.

― Robert Adam Gilmour, Tuesday, April 4, 2017 1:35 PM (four minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

It has Sting in it.

― Robert Adam Gilmour, Tuesday, April 4, 2017 1:35 PM (four minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol

I'm sure this is on an old thread but I saw it in a revive and it made me holler:

I really dislike the term "bone".

― Not me I'm the Emotional Type (Ned Trifle II), Monday, January 5, 2009 7:28 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

^^ yes

― Le Bateau Ivre, Monday, January 5, 2009 7:30 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

more of a poppage man?

― Local Garda, Monday, January 5, 2009 7:30 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Lmao

idgi

Yeah, it hasn't poppaged well.

whether Milwaukee County Sheriff David A. Clarke Jr. abused taxpayer resources after his run-in with a 24-year-old Riverwest man

for the love of god I thought it said "Liverwurst man."

― the Rain Man of nationalism. (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn)

Herbie Hancock's less successful followup.

― Ned Raggett

lol

omfg bizzaro gazzara

*bizarro

And?

It's an image and I can't be asked to link to it

I Write Music And I'd Be Incredibly Appreciative If Someone Listened

OK fine scroll down from here for maximum effect

Man Excelsiors shouldn't require homework