Society is in the gutter

back in the day you'd retell Monty Python sketches and there'd be no pregnant men in them

btw for a crash-course in pension-aged messageboard posters I recommend joining a football forum

no cars back then, and the average height was three foot six, so we used to ride dogs everywhere until they fell over dead from overwork. piles of dead dogs there were, lining the cobbled streets, and the little orphan urchins used to suck out their eyes for the protein, 'jelly e'en' we used to call them, i can still taste them now. you wouldn't get those in your newfangled spars, i'll tell you, and more's the pity

between donald trump and this prick i'm really turning against exclamation marks. i mean they've always been part of this thread but it feels more sinister now.

And inequality of wealth is magnified by overpopulation, until governments start to seriously tackle this problem peacefully, we may find nature has its own way of doing it! As in 1349!

like this right wing use of exclamation mark seems to be saying "there, i said it! the vile thing i believe everyone thinks, because i am vile and assume everyone is like me, deep down"

duh, he's obviously advocating for planned parenthood

for men

'dark satanic mills' is it, well you don't know the half of it! the factory at the end of our street pumped out so much soot i didn't see a single colour until i was 25 and let me tell you it provided enough entertainment to last me six months it did

"I had that Malthus in the back of me cab once."

i murdered a man a few years ago. he walked through my garden so i hit him with a spade! will i be caught? i shouldn't think so!

We can't bust heads like we used to. But we have our ways. One trick is to tell stories that don't go anywhere. Like the time I caught the ferry to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for m'shoe. So I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. "Gimme five bees for a quarter," you'd say. Now where were we... oh yeah. The important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. I didn't have any white onions, because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones...

getting drunk IS fun btw

tbh he does have a point, drunkards like Churchill and other famous drunks never looked like they were having fun. the secret is drinking while not having fun, it seems.

tbf churchill wasn't exactly blessed with the kind of countenance that allowed for traditionally-agreed-upon expressions of 'fun'

no cars back then, and the average height was three foot six, so we used to ride dogs everywhere until they fell over dead from overwork. piles of dead dogs there were, lining the cobbled streets, and the little orphan urchins used to suck out their eyes for the protein, 'jelly e'en' we used to call them, i can still taste them now. you wouldn't get those in your newfangled spars, i'll tell you, and more's the pity

― for sale: steve bannon waifu pillow (heavily soiled) (bizarro gazzara), Friday, February 3, 2017 7:21 AM (two days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

biggest irl lol of the year so far, thank you for this

If Labour wants to win back its Brexit-voting heartlands, it needs to help resurrect the 'working class identity'
When my dad spoke to me about his childhood, he’d talk of working men’s clubs as major social institutions. Twice a year, the club would organise trips to Blackpool or Skegness. They’d book out two carriages on the local train, and the children would get pop and crisps on the way there and a stick of rock on the way back

Joe Todd 2 hours ago 54 comments
http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/labour-brexit-jeremy-corbyn-heartlands-trade-unions-working-class-identity-a7589391.html

we'd go to blackpool every year. october of course, for the illuminations. stroll on the promenade, peruse a ribald postcard or two. chips on the pier and then to the abc for a few chuckles at the antics of our pakistani friends, and paddies. now my grandson goes with the other emos, in february as if that made a lick of sense. he tells me it's "ironic". brought me back a stick of rock with the word "non-binary" through it.

the train would leave one station, arriving at various stations along the way, where it would stop to let passengers alight. it wasn't a perfect system, but it worked better than today's.

i've actually been on one of those Blackpool trips, i'm not sure if it was the first time i'd travelled by train but it was v exciting as a kid. not sure if it built much of a sense of community because as far as i remember our fam sat in our own compartment and i don't remember actually mingling with anybody else on the trip

i bought a bootleg copy of zooropa on the beach in blackpool

real england

Was reminiscing with my dad recently about a family trip to Blackpool where for the whole 6 hour round trip and more or less the whole time there I listened to the 2nd manics album on repeat, presumably on my Sony sports walkman. Peak teenager for me. Inspired by my dad having bought himself the greatest hits CD which idk I'm sure that says something.

european civilization has been in stasis since socrates had to defend his life in front of the athenian 'parliament'. meanwhile, donald trump golfs every weekend

― reggie (qualmsley), Wednesday, 26 April 2017 23:11 (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Beautiful

https://twitter.com/MENnewsdesk/status/857356846520311808

nult is that you

i read a piece about spice in the MEN recently and it was very much this thread type stuff, but on the other hand i had never heard of "spice" so it was sort of surprising or shocking. really seems a big growing story, all these people getting spiced out of their minds.

Quoting for posterity
Amid a sea of filth, a cardboard box in the shape of a person that hints at a tragic way of life and death

If Gaspar Noe did christmas cards...

That human beings can be living in such conditions may seem obscene in a first world country

always like the "in a first world country" qualifier, like in a developing country obviously squalor is no big deal

well yeah tbh.

I would suggest the fact of there being more of it is not the same as it being nbd

its not the more of it its the 'could be worse, could be better' comparators

these days kids in the first world are spoilt when i were a lad we had one mobile phone between us and twere only for business now venezuelans are on twitter all day instead of making my trainers

I think if you stop the sentence at obscene you take nothing away from its intent and perhaps look a wee bit less of a douche

we can all agree

maybe a desperate attempt to wring a tiny drop of empathy out of ppl

Movie Based on a Tweet Is Actually Happening

we all end up with the boss baby we deserve

BOSS Baby the baby is an apartheid south africa secret policeman

https://www.theguardian.com/sport/blog/2017/oct/20/cricket-is-rotting-destroyed-icc-ecb-t20-test-matches

"cricket is rotting away. everything worthwhile about it is being destroyed"

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DMl3RMiU8AAgsGX.jpg

"we used to ogle women with honour"

lol that is some spectacular handwringing from engel

when i was a boy it was an honor and a privilege to shoot poor people of color in the head both here and abroad. everything has gone topsy turvy.

pay-off line of this SJenkins screed is in the spirit of this thread
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/nov/24/irish-border-hard-brexit-ireland

democracy has clocked off early and downed a few gallons of budget booze

Democracy, where is?

Any sort of border in Ireland, whether physical or regulatory, is politically impossible and publicly unpopular. That’s bad news for hard Brexiteers

yeah because Ireland is always at the front of those lads' minds

No results found for "what is the point of simon jenkins?"

when i first moved to the UK i really liked him but now i realize it was only ever because of his gratifyingly scornful arguments against military action in iraq. they were good columns to have written but they did unfortunately trick me into reading his other stuff :/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjJDekSculo

Before they could confiscate our sound system we would rave in the woods/warehouse. Everyone turned up to dance until sunlight and didn't even know who was playing at what time. We would dance to whatever was played and enjoy it. Pure positive vibes. The internet ruined it.

— HUD (UK) (@Hudskov) November 30, 2017

I remember when you had to call a Phone Number only a handful knew and form a convoy to follow "someone" who knew, to a venue "somewhere" to listen to "somebody". If they were actually the names on the flyers, BONUS!!! #BetterDays 🎶🎶🎶

— paul donaghy (@phax71) November 30, 2017