threadban balki's stupid fucking cousin

eh

larry has a history of going off the spin but was that really a ban-ban spat?

not to minimise it but

... are you feeling OK?

He was already derailing and dominating that discussion and being pretty rude, condescending and offensive in the process. A cooling off period if nothing else, but that's a thread that would develop better by not becoming a gigantic one-man clusterfuck.

Here's my deal with my behavior in that thread.

I've been kidnapped and tortured. Lived through murder attempts. And things even worse than that. I have permanent physical injuries I have to live with everyday because of that shit. And there was nobody who cared, nobody who tried to help, left for dead. So that's where I was coming from. My own misguided attempt to help, fueled by my own experiences with terror by the very types of people in power now. I know these people intimately, and know what they're capable of from direct experience.

if that's true, go get professional help, stop taking your trauma out on ILX

There is no professional help for what I lived through, unfortunately. But I understand. I'm out.

holy shit i didn't realise larry appleton was darkman

I mean...I wanna tread really lightly here because if any of that is true, it's horrible and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. But when someone says that they've experienced kidnapping and torture and multiple murder attempts, the 'things even worse than that' follow-up kinda flips the switch on my skepticism radar.

That's not the case. The after effects of your trauma tell you it is, but it's not true. There are people who devote their lives to aiding the recovery of people like you. You deserve recovery and wellness and I hope you get some help.

Ehhh, I tried, but there aren't many therapists out there with experience in the types of crimes I experienced, and the fact that I experienced so many of them, which were woven so well into my upbringing. I had some bad luck in the upbringing department.

But now with Trump and Bannon in power, the same types of people who did this to me now have access to the entire country. That's why I'm so worried and concerned, because you're all in danger now, too. Maybe not as bad as what I got, but these people are dangerous, and to think that you aren't in danger is just lack of experience. With any hope these guys will fail. But I know that the good outcome is not inevitable, and that the world does not have any special love or concern for you. Any sense of order, justice, rightness, sense, meaning, safety, is just an illusion and it can be shattered in a split second.

if that's true, go get professional help, stop taking your trauma out on ILX

― the late great

Yeah, how about you go fuck yourself.

mods, pls threadban balki's stupid fucking cousin from the 'threadban balki's stupid fucking cousin' thread

Ehhh, I tried

There are therapists who have wide experience with trauma and while the sources of trauma vary widely, the basic human responses to trauma fall within predictable ranges. Whichever therapist you work with may not begin with a familiarity with the types of crimes you experienced, but it would be their job to become familiar with you as a person and your personal experience of those crimes. You would be their teacher about yourself and they would in turn teach you what they know about your predicament and how to cope and to some extent heal.

The real problem is finding a therapist who inspires you with a measure of confidence that they are capable of helping you. There is no easy path to finding that person, but you could search out a combat veteran's group or crime survivors group and probe around for recommendations.

at the very least find a creative writing teacher who can break you out of your unbelievably hackneyed 'hardboiled cynic with a dark past' persona

This isn't a persona, I've invested probably hundreds of thousands of hours into recovering from this. If I write a book, it'll be to talk about what helped me survive, because I'm an anomaly in that I even made it this far. I really just want to enjoy my life, my man.

Anyway, I'm only even saying this stuff not to have a edgy persona, but because I'm a protective person and I don't want to see anyone else get hurt by sadistic nut jobs like Trump, Bannon, and company. If you don't have experience with these types of people, then you have no idea whatsoever what to expect. I do. That's why I'm talking about it.

this reads like trolling or luna-level shit to me idk

Probably something in the middle.

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/dc/7e/39/dc7e39d05750b2b3d00979a767c99245.jpg

yep xp

yup

maybe we should just have a larry appleton quarantine thread for him to vent and explore his issues, separate from the other stuff everyone wants to talk about

I grant that if what you are saying about yourself is true, then it is no surprise you have a hard time accurately calibrating the amount of threat Trump represents. What the rest of ilx is telling you is that your sense of Trump's threat seems to them to be registering much higher than the known facts warrant. So far your response has been to INSIST that you know better than we do. You've made it apparent that the voice in your head tells you that literally everyone else here is badly misguided and you alone appreciate the situation. Good luck with selling us that belief. Maybe try a bit less of a hard sell, OK?

Guys, please. It's NAGL to cast aspersions on someone who is talking about trauma just because they posted some shitty stuff in another thread. You have no evidence either way.

My only angle is to make sure people don't sit on their hands when it comes to Trump. What else would I have to gain on it? I've posted here for years, and I've only ever brought this shit up in response to Trump. So how does "luna/marissa marchent" make any sense here?

similar rhetoric

but emil.y is right I don't really have any idea what your deal is

well, not rhetoric but a similar kind of language/posting style

Guys, please. It's NAGL to cast aspersions on someone who is talking about trauma just because they posted some shitty stuff in another thread. You have no evidence either way.

it's also nagl to bullheadedly insist that your trauma makes you uniquely qualified to dictate to others how and why they should react to the potential dangers of a trump presidency tbh

and in the style of a hardbitten pulp antihero

so we're at kind of an impasse I guess

My normal posting style is layered irony and cosmic horror jokes. This is me being real. Cripes. My main point here is, Trump, Bannon, and their entire thing is bad fucking news, and it wigs me the hell out sometimes, and I'm running around trying to shake people to tell them. That's it.

people here know

these experiences sound awful but here's the thing I 100% guarantee you that nothing you could tell us about would give anybody here any new insight whatsoever about what these types of people are like

the style of a hardbitten pulp antihero

there are only so many styles a person can use and if you're trying hard for a vivid and visceral effect, then mimicking an extant style badly is about the only option for those who don't devote their life to writing well.

I've never read any pulp antihero novels, I'm just writing things out as they come along. It's the material itself that makes it seem like that, and I can't help that other than to not talk about it at all, which I'm going to go back to.

Anyway, my own experiences with these people is that their limitless cruelty, their 100% lack of guilt and remorse, and their motive to destroy for pleasure, makes them the most dangerous type of person who can exist in the world. More dangerous than Putin. More dangerous than greedy, power hungry people. That's what we're dealing with here. We've got the worst of the worst here.

yeah like I said

right. criminal sociopaths. we may not have lost any teeth or blood to them directly, but we get it.

but do you really

yeah I've never been beheaded by isil but I figured out their steez anyway

larry's anxiety that we don't get it prevents him from accepting anything less than his own life story as evidence we do.

larry appleton is either telling the truth OR larry appleton is lying for some perverse trollish thrill OR larry appleton is entirely wackadoo, in any of which cases further harassment is contraindicated

think we can lock this thread now btw

Guys, please. It's NAGL to cast aspersions on someone who is talking about trauma just because they posted some shitty stuff in another thread. You have no evidence either way.

― emil.y

this is absolutely true and i want to be as respectful and empathetic as possible towards what he went through. on the other hand, i suffer from serious mental illness myself, and i refuse to use my mental illness as an excuse for being an asshole to other people. larry, if your trauma makes it impossible for you to treat other people in a respectful manner, maybe you should take a little break from posting until you get that under control a little better.

Yeah, that's my plan, I have enough other shit going on, and this Trump stuff is just frying my brain.

Lock thread.