Ask Dr. Morbius

gabbneb's back?

i've seen no evidence of this--check yr glasses morbs

Dear Dr Morbius,

is Kung Fu Hustle the greatest narrative feature film ever made, y/n?

n

(closer than Knocked Up or The Natural, obv)

Dr. M:

What are the Red Sox chances at winning the World Series this year, and why?

Thanks, and best regards.

-- Daniel

(I followed the pattern of posting like a letter, with signature. Kinda don't like the way it looks, in retrospect. Oh well.)

20-22%. Figure 12.5% for each of 8 equally balanced playoff teams, then factor in the AL's strength and the Sox likely being the 2nd-best AL team.

morbius who are your ten favorite players?

active?

let's say both

i'd like active, actually

but not my qn

active and passive

i KNEW that was comin, just not from you!

I'll keep this *mostly* to players I actually saw:

ALL-TIME
Seaver
Mays
Satchel Paige
Ruth
Joe Morgan
Rickey Henderson
Aaron
Barry Bonds
Tug McGraw
Bill (Spaceman) Lee

ACTIVE
David Wright
Pujols
Beltran
Sizemore
Mauer
Haren
Brian McCann
Utley
Pablo Sandoval
Ichiro

Dear Dr. Morbiouss,

What was it liek seeing babe ruth pitch?

--JTM

cheap

hahahaha

also surprised joe's unfortunate post-player career hasn't soured your opnion of him

I'm Solomonic that way.

lol Sandoval token bear

Esteem'd Morbius, Base-ball Physician,
Are there any managers, in your opinion, who help their team more than they hurt it? If so, what admirable qualities do they possess?

beats me

I think Scioscia and (it pains me to say) LaRussa and Cox come to mind first.

Dr. Morbius,

Given that Jim Riggleman is still allowed to manage a major league baseball team, even if it is the nationals, does that mean there is still hope for any of us who've thought "shit, I could manage a team, probably"?

Dear Dr. Morbius,
Did you know that many years ago Joyce Dewitt and Orson Bean were married, for a period of about 3 months?

Dear Dr. Morbius,
Who the fuck is Orson Bean?

dear doc morbs - has there been a time sum mets rooks have tore up the spring as much as ike davis & fmart have so far?

JD: Tailor your resume, emphasize people skills.
JR: I did not -- was Joyce into Wilhelm Reich too?
TT: A comedic actor and game-show panelist (b.1928 as Dallas Frederick Burrows) who you may have seen as the old millionaire who "pisses orange" in Being John Malkovich.
JC: Way too many times.

what is your would blap starting nine lineup for 2010?

i remember mauer and wright from last year, who else?

insufficient data.

aka he won't admit jeter's on it

he's not.

grit hater

ANSWER THE QUESTION OR YOU WILL BE ASSIGNED DAN UGGLA

Dear Doc,

Minus Perez, is the rest of the Mets starting pitching made up of clones of Steve Trachsel or does it just seem that way?

no, there was only one Trachsel

lol

Shot in the dark, but I wonder if you've ever come across a guy named Ed M3nt@ in SABR circles? I don't know how active of a member he is, but I do know he's published a couple of articles in the Baseball Research Journal.

nope, don't know the name.

Ah, OK. He's a theatre prof who directed me in a couple of plays in college. Kind of an old-school working-class lefty type, so you might get along, but he's also a Yankees fan.

Dr Morbius, I will be in New York at the start of May and am thinking of going to see a Yankees baseball match. Please keep in mind that I know almost nothing about baseball beyond the basics when I ask the following:

How easy or otherwise is it get tickets on the 'day' of the game? Is there a better way of getting tickets? How much should I expect to play for an OK seat?

I see from the Yankees schedule that they play the same opponents for three or so nights in a row - is that one loooong game, or three different games? What times do games start and finish? And is it possible to travel by subway to the Yankees stadium?

Thanks very much for any advice you might offer.

lol baseball 'match'. i am not the fabled doctor and cannot really speak to the ticket situation (it depends on the opponent, and stubhub.com is a good place to seek tickets), but:

three different games. starting at 7:05pm, ending between 10 and 10:30 typically (always later against the red sox). subway is the preferred method of travel.

and if you'd like company, we can probably arrange it.

what mook said. Buying tix directly from the Yankees must be avoided.

I am not sure I can ever set foot in the new Yankee 5-Star Hotel tho

Thank you mook and morbs.

Company would be v welcome (I shall be on my own) - will try not to overdo it on the Britishes tourist asking dumbo questions front. Looking at the Yankees' schedule, the best bets for me are either of their matches against the Astros on Tues 30th April or Weds 1st May. Shall investigate tix further.

LOL saying 'matches' is obv a v ingrained soccerball habit

against the Astros

ooooh, that's unfortunate

tell me more, WC!

think the Yankees are playing the Oakland As on the Friday, who obv I know from Moneyball etc, but that kinda clashes with my plan to go for the free late entry at MOMA on Friday

MoMA is horribly overcrowded at all times, but I could get you in cheap if I knew my going-out status for late April.

The Astros were the worst team in baseball last year and are moving into a tougher league this season.

Astros are comically bad, though perhaps sufficiently so for a baseball noob to find mirth in their brand of inept slapstick.

Yeah, Oakland might be a more entertaining game. On the other hand, if you want to see the equivalent of a 16-year old beating up a 2nd-grader on the playground and taking his lunch money away, the Astros might be the way to go.

xpost

Thanks Morbs - I can of course afford the entry fee, though it would be a delight to go with you, if/when you know yr plans - and it might free me up to go see a better team rather than these Astros losers (tho' quite often I find that seeing something done badly helps you better appreciate/understand the good)

Ward, here's a taste: http://www.cbssports.com/mlb/blog/eye-on-baseball/19938647/gif-the-astros-do-it-again

sweet morbs, just one question - how do you do it?

it's all in the reflexes

ogmor, that doesn't sound like a baseball question

I am just a humble admirer, baseball is a mystery to me

can't believe it took me this long to ask you about playing guitar for gg allin

i mean ballin' from Maine to Mexico was right there

Dr. Morbs, please be honest: who is the biggest piece of ass in 2020 MLB?

i don't understand either question.

Gentlemen, we have an imposter here. What did you do with the real Dr. Morbius, "Dr. Morbius"?

Never heard of that guy, mook... I think his Wiki page is fairly new.

MY NAME IS

― Dr Morbius, Thursday, October 2, 2008 11:16 AM (twelve years ago)

thanks guys... it helped me remember him more clearly getting those words out

it might sound crazy if you just read his posts on this board or knew morbs the character, but we would all do good to live like bill. it's so easy to live a sedentary existence now (i'm not talking about covid), to feel like there's so much culture at your fingertips that you might as well be drowning in it. bill was from a different era, he never changed, and his rigidity and pride in being that way came thru loud and clear even if you barely knew him. but behind that was someone who valued tangibly experiencing the things that mattered to him, even when that thing was watching the sorry ass mets score 2 runs on a windy april night. (and btw he would never leave early.) i'm posting this as a reminder to myself as much as anything

― J0rdan S., Wednesday, October 21, 2020 11:59 PM

Love that he wouldn’t miss a pitch at the stadium but often posted about falling asleep at home before crucial plays in the sixth or whenever. (I can relate.)

Loved that sleeping through 1/3 of the game would not stop him from weighing in.

Bobby Bonilla day will never be the same. :(

Who was the good doctors favorite Met?

Wright for a while, I think.

seaver, far and away

i miss you morbius

every time I see a terrible take on "film twitter" I think, "god, I miss the guy but I'm glad Morbs never had to see this"

to be fair, he'd probably have dismissed most of the nonsense out of hand and gotten back to telling us about what he was never going to watch :)