Taking sides: Children vs. (non-human) animals

while his boys pour gasoline on old women
hold up for a sec

― nomar, Friday, December 16, 2016

these boys are savages imo

genuine q alfred- what about that is different for you as a gay man as opposed to a straight man without kids (or a parent but eg around other peoples kids)

― loudmouth darraghmac ween (darraghmac),

The societal expectation still exists that I don't want nor would I have any use for children. It's possible I haven't scrutinized my own antipathy, i.e. pried it apart from the queerness

I sympathize too, as someone who is straight & married and not going to have kids. I have nothing against kids (and anti-kid rhetoric is not a good look), and being around friends' kids is interesting even though I'm not very good at it, but I just don't think I have the mental fortitude to engage with children on their level for longer than a few minutes. It's exhausting!

xp fair enough imo

As someone whose only kid is pushing 30*, I kinda sympathize with lex too. My daughter's determination not to have kids is an ongoing relief to me. It's not the kind of thing I share without prompting. (I'm pretending this thread is a prompt.)

*jesus christ, remember when I asked ilx for university recommendations for her?

my world and community is lousy with gay parents. god bless them. i go to lots of people's houses where there are kids and i ignore all of them. i have never had anyone try to get me to interact with their kids. god bless them. i know a lot of really cool people though.

taking "my world of young ppl" to ever more ridiculous levels

recently i was remembering how there used to be poop EVERYWHERE. remember that? city sidewalks covered in poop. you would have to be kinda old to remember that. there was dog poop everywhere.

― scott seward, Friday, December 16, 2016 12:10 PM (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

visit Chicago after the snow melts if you wish to be transported back in time

there was a whole wild tangent that ∞ was getting into about expression and communication and ideas that bears no resemblance to my experience of what individual humans - kids or adults - can share with us if we're receptive to them, or about what interactions and relationships really are about, or about any experience I recognise about being one being in a world full of beings tbh

― Rock Wokeman (Noodle Vague), Friday, December 16, 2016 1:56 AM (eight hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

fair enough

but this is more of a what type of people do you like (to hang out with) -- everyone gets enjoyment out of or is fulfilled by different things

you get along with some little dudes better than others, and the same applies when interacting with adults; kind of silly to say "in my opinion" or "for me", but imo

i grew up with babies/children til i was 17 and the type of friendships i wanted has changed throughout my entire life, but i never had the urge to hang out with children til recently (but very sparingly). i have friends that love kids and they tell me why, and i would not want to hang out with those kids based on those reasons

and this is an important distinction and a reason why i say i'm cool with hanging out with kids now. i was just explaining where they're at mentally and emotionally. it doesn't mean i think they are inferior or would not humour them. if i learn something new about ~life~ or about myself due to interacting with kids, it's because of my own introspection, but i am almost certain our opinions diverge here

a couple clarifications are probably needed there but i'll leave it at that unless someone brings it up

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU USE A TOOTHBRUSH, I'LL FUCKING DO YOU IN, DON'T TRY IT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0QuG6_FA6I

https://media.giphy.com/media/l0HlAQdHvegjdr6SY/giphy.gif

I sent my brother that gif and he sent me this: https://vimeo.com/21693673

rob's link: essential viewing

Agh this whole thread has been a vital marketing campaign
http://www.avclub.com/article/boss-baby-wages-war-against-puppies-new-trailer-247513

how... how is that not the SNL thing

I apologise sincerely to lex for suggesting that his dislike of being around kids is a pose. I still think it's worth overcoming but I put some disparate observations together and applied it to this situation. Also I was drunk, sorry.

aw, it's a lex pile-on. It makes me all nostalgic.

expressing annoyance w/ ppl for mourning their pets is one of the pettiest things i've ever heard

ugh i swear the pun there was not intentional

Conversation is a two way thing. Maybe it's you who is shit at talking with kids.

you get along with some little dudes better than others, and the same applies when interacting with adults; kind of silly to say "in my opinion" or "for me", but imo

yeah dude i didn't think you were being obnoxious, just a bit reductive maybe

as far as introspection goes yes i think we disagree, i don't buy myself as an island cogitating away so much as an open-ended organism in the middle of organism soup and the other ingredients keep basting me

99% of the time having children turns formerly interesting and fun adults into complete bores (the 1% mostly comprises naturally gifted raconteurs who can make any anecdote entertaining)

I wasn't sure if Lex dislikes children or parents more.

But I think this view (quoted above) is in itself 'boorish', considering the incredible diversity of things of parents and what they do. When you find 99% of parents complete bores, maybe it's time to question your own opinions.

(Sorry this sounds ridiculously patronising - but there it is)

the children make me more anxious and uncomfortable; i would rather exist in proximity to parents but ultimately i dislike them more. (obviously there are parents who aren't turned into entitled bores by parenthood and can still converse about matters outside their nuclear family, but they're a minority)

i fully admit i am shit at engaging with children - i mostly have no idea what to do or say and endeavour to ignore them - but i've no desire to get better at this, just to arrange my life to better avoid them. i do think reducing the scope of your interests and indeed love to your precious fucking nuclear family is a signifier of a worse person. it's fundamentally anti-solidarity.

I'm terrible at talking to children between, say, eight and fourteen. That's when I have nothing to say, and theoretically it should be easier.

i feel optimistic about engaging w/teenagers when the time comes

just say the word and we'll help you get out of the rubbish bin

Parents do inane crap as well, including watch tennis all day, ramble about their end of year spotify lists and post inane crap on twitter. Don't notice a lot of difference tbh.

doing inane crap is my forte

bob six:

- would that i could watch tennis all day, and tweet about it
- pretty sure i've posted under 20 words total about my EOY spotify playlist on the internet, would that i could hear under 20 words total about ppl's kids
- unfollow me then, fuckwit

personally i think kids are cool, great, even. feel like i would be a good dad if i wasn't such shit at being in a relationship. yes there are shitty kids but there are plenty of shitty adults.

for where i am, (non-human) animals (???) is a good substitute. we have two cats at my place and they are constantly a comfort. i used to get very depressed when i was a teenager and i really haven't felt that way since i started having a pet.

cats have been overwhelmingly beneficial to my sanity. it's nice to look at a face and realize nearly all of the bullshit bugging you literally does not exist in their reality. sometimes i envy them.

pretty sure i've posted under 20 words total about my EOY spotify playlist on the internet, would that i could hear under 20 words total about ppl's kids

word count: 28

xp
don't muddy the waters by bringing those disease ridden - at liberty to shit in your garden - bird killers to this thread for goodness sake :p

love cats

detest them

don't mind other people's but am v unhappy with their shitting and trampoline net-destroying antics

cats or children?

don't find kid's shit anything like as repellent as pet shit, which is on a higher plain of noxiousness than almost anything

I have one of them high pressure water pistols filled with slimy dishwater in my kitchen, for when any cats venture anywhere near my bird feeding station. The ones I manage to hit never seem to return. I love dogs + kids - even the annoying type ones. But as for cats - I'd be happy for some kind of final solution tbh.

"but i've no desire to get better at this, just to arrange my life to better avoid them"

now i'm just imagining all these children leaping out from behind corners on the street at the lex. who are all these children? just tell them to buzz off.

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-714hCsrkzIA/VDSmj-nBuaI/AAAAAAAAB0Q/8YiinQCnlwU/s1600/bike.jpg

http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/villains/images/8/86/The_Children_(Village_of_the_Damed).jpg/revision/latest?cb=20111110184851

i do think reducing the scope of your interests and indeed love to your precious fucking nuclear family is a signifier of a worse person. it's fundamentally anti-solidarity.

― lex pretend, Saturday, December 17, 2016 1:02 PM (fifty-one minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lex, genuine question for you - have you ever had another person become wholly or almost exclusively dependent on you for their well-being and existence? A sick friend, parent, family member, or partner? there are many reasons people might have to withdraw or shift their focus internally to people or events that demand significant time and energy. it seems petty and lacking of empathy to call them worse people. the care-taking of a dependent is an enormous demand, if one has never had to do it, it might be difficult to understand.

seems like sacrificing much of your life for the well-being of someone else is pretty pro-solidarity

so many genuine questions itt

you guys are assuming lex's declaration of most parents as boring is some kind of moral judgement when it seems pretty clear it's an aesthetic one, or a "lifestyle choice"
I think it could potentially be some projection at work i.e. I'M NOT BORING nobody said you were

OTOH
reducing the scope of your interests and indeed love to your precious fucking nuclear family
is a reasonable starting point for a moral judgement because this is how some people do become awful

you know I think that would've been a pretty fair and accurate assessment until lex said outright that parents who focus too much on their kids are literally worse people and "anti-solidarity"

xp

http://68.media.tumblr.com/a91c37bbfa184e6626266604439e2328/tumblr_nxt9nb8Gdi1r65o3qo1_1280.jpg