Taking sides: Children vs. (non-human) animals

DONT TRY IT

Wilf is annoyed with the turn this thread has taken. You really don't want to annoy Wilf.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Czy_XHCWEAEX1fl.jpg

I would never annoy Wilf! I choose Wilf!

whippet I'd like to f?

Wilfred!

LOL, his owner is gay and Wilf makes a beeline for any well-dressed man in the street, so one of his owner's many nicknames for this guy is Cock Magnet.

I ran some tests. I found that dogs instinctively know how to swim and children do not. Point goes to dogs.
Unfortunately I'll need a good amount of time before I am reequipped and able to run the next test.

But how long would a dog survive on a roof

we put a baby and a dog on a roof. what happened next will shock you

Did they have a complex interaction

Never put kiddies where fiddlers have been known to hang out imo

i thought babies actually could swim if you put them in the water. i never tested this.

that one on the nirvana cover seems to be doing ok

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CbrMcH63XM0

oh okay, they are faking it:

"it's not true that babies are born with the ability to swim, though they have reflexes that make it look like they are. A reflex called the bradycardic response makes babies hold their breath and open their eyes when submerged in water, says Jeffrey Wagener, a pediatric pulmonologist in Colorado."

that scares the shit of me, what kind of monster would put their baby in a pool

any adult could argue a 5yo is as good a conversationalist just encapsulates how boring and awful people get on parenthood, when their level of conversation is reduced to talking about their child, in whom i am uninterested. it explains a lot

― lex pretend, Friday, December 16, 2016 2:56 AM (eight hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i think you are willfully being a dumb asshole

p much

no one claimed "a 5 yo is as good a conversationalist"

toddler on the roof

that scares the shit of me, what kind of monster would put their baby in a pool

Welllll arguably someone who knows their kid is going to be around water a lot and believes this will reduce their risk of accidental drowning or panicking in water situations?

sorry i meant unsupervised

i mean i guess the baby clearly knows what shes doing in that video but id be terrified of testing the "bradycardic response" on my kids

that scares the shit of me, what kind of monster would put their baby in a pool

― marcos, Friday, December 16, 2016 11:04 AM (thirty-two minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

sorry i meant unsupervised

― marcos, Friday, December 16, 2016 11:34 AM (two minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Are you implying there is a parent out there that might be having a kind of "did I leave my stove on?" style moment right now about whether they left their baby in the pool?

lol right, there's lots of "baby & me" type swimming classes out there where you hold your baby while in the water and first you just hold them and then you dab water on their face, and gradually get closer to submerging their face and etc etc with the idea being that they're more comfortable in the water during infancy than they will be later if they never try it.

i think you are willfully being a dumb asshole

no. the wilfully dumb and offensive people in this thread have been entirely parents, who took a low-level grouse and responded with aspersions on my normality and morality (not at all loaded towards a gay person, oh no) for daring to express a pretty commonplace annoyance. i don't give a shit whether you agree with my preference - plenty of people i actually like obviously don't, having had children - but this immediate shift into "well that makes you a BAD, STRANGE PERSON" is why this thread has gone on for several hundred answers more than it should have. parents are consistently the most offensive people towards those who haven't chosen their lifestyle and this has been no exception.

DONT TRY IT

otm

lol does lex know any gay parents genuinely curious

I mean I'm sure they are boring inconsiderate monsters like all other parents but the accusation of homophobia here is p weird

it is much less of a stretch than "annoyed by children" turning into "pro child abuse" upthread

WHY would anyone choose to have a child instead of a dog is national newspaper trollumnist material.

trying to think of what toddler lex must have been like. i'm guessing temper tantrums. he's still a lovable scamp though.

i am all for people not having kids. it's a wise choice. when i see these older people panic and decide at the last minute that they need kids i go.....bbbbbut you can go anywhere and do anything and you are old and why????

having a dog was too aggravating for me. they are the toddlers who never grow up. we had a lovely dog and we found her a better home. she was a big strong dog that could easily run 50 miles a day and we felt bad that we were never home. now she has an outdoor running life. never want another dog.

I like how you keep dialing back "hatred" to "annoyed" cool rhetorical move there bro

xp

(growing up we just let the dog out the door all day. that's more like it. can't do that anymore.)

yike this if ru rere rorn in re raties

recently i was remembering how there used to be poop EVERYWHERE. remember that? city sidewalks covered in poop. you would have to be kinda old to remember that. there was dog poop everywhere.

i don't think "i hated kids when i was one" referring to what i felt as a child is remotely inflammatory, but cool keep pretending it's just that one word that provoked your pile-on ouris

sorry this is not a safe space for you to vent about how much you dislike them

how ever do you endure it

also i hated children when i was a child, it's not a new development

this would imply that your feelings now are the same as they were when you were a monstrous irritant that couldn't hold a decent conversation

............. yesterday?

set up: punchline

no kidding ;)

baby on the rooftop I know, I know, it's serious

parents are consistently the most offensive people towards those who haven't chosen their lifestyle and this has been no exception.

Hmmmmmmmmmm.

tbh I agree that most parents (esp. new parents) are dull and/or annoying

i think it has been confirmed by science that most PEOPLE are pretty dull. i mean have you ever talked to one?

I've been meaning to

I'd reconsider

and there's so many of them! always in my way when I'm trying to walk down the street

don't they realize I have dogshit I have to lovingly scoop up