like a child approaching a parent to interrupt a conversation with another adult - who in that situation needs the attention?
if one of the adults is talking about her mother's terminal cancer, they take precedence over anything other than an actual emergency
― lex pretend, Tuesday, 13 December 2016 19:17 (seven years ago) link
that anecdote sounds like the parent's fault, not the child's.
― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Tuesday, 13 December 2016 19:18 (seven years ago) link
both io and lex were talking about the parents' behaviour there yes
― banfred bann (wins), Tuesday, 13 December 2016 19:20 (seven years ago) link
I find parents more problematic than kids at times, but I'd still take cats over anything.
― Everything Moves Towards The Sun (Ross), Tuesday, 13 December 2016 19:20 (seven years ago) link
fuck off
― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Tuesday, 13 December 2016 19:22 (seven years ago) link
/A propos of upthread I know ppl with kids who you can still have a conversation with while the kids amuse themselves, and then I know ones where the child is used to interrupting by yelling and demanding immediate attention and the parent obliges every time, which isn't about the nature of children as much as boundaries and compromises parents make. It's still extremely tedious though./the nadir i've witnessed of the latter was one friend talking about her mother's breast cancer to another friend (with toddler), and mid-sentence the latter just...switched her attention to her child with no warning or acknowledgementmost conversations are not as serious as that, fortunately, but the tendency to abruptly abandon conversations when children wander up is pretty common in parents
the nadir i've witnessed of the latter was one friend talking about her mother's breast cancer to another friend (with toddler), and mid-sentence the latter just...switched her attention to her child with no warning or acknowledgement
most conversations are not as serious as that, fortunately, but the tendency to abruptly abandon conversations when children wander up is pretty common in parents
these are the posts
― banfred bann (wins), Tuesday, 13 December 2016 19:23 (seven years ago) link
i don't think you can compare one random act of massive rudeness to every instance in which a parent might interrupt a conversation to listen to their child.
sorry i swore at you - i just don't get what your view is based on these interjections.
― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Tuesday, 13 December 2016 19:25 (seven years ago) link
One can see plenty of shitty parents out there (roughly in proportion to the overall percentage of shitty people).
But IME most parents are terrified and exhausted and completely winging it 94.3% of the time. Personally I'm up around 96% right now.
Sorry yr parent friends are boring you; maybe they aren't aware of how much you depend on them to entertain you. Maybe they're going through a boring phase just now (because they're tired and scared and anxious and, again, completely winging it) and will return to being the cool hip people you once knew later. Maybe not. I don't know.
― troops in djibouti (Ye Mad Puffin), Tuesday, 13 December 2016 19:26 (seven years ago) link
WTF is this 300-post thread full of invective even?
― The Pleasure Principal (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 13 December 2016 19:27 (seven years ago) link
hate to ljsplain this (actually i lie, i love to lol) but this is the situation
some ppl are uneasy around children for w/e reason
some ppl adore children oo coo otty potty bum
if these two camps respect one another's positions then we will have a functional society
― Dave Plaintive rapper with classical training (imago), Tuesday, 13 December 2016 19:27 (seven years ago) link
if you look back at what i said, i said children seemed to have both a capacity to be more innocent but also to behave in a more base, destructive way. but that's minus any real power, screaming for a second dessert or something, which kind of goes to the heart of it for me. there's a power imbalance between adults and children. we shouldn't expect them to behave better than us.
And not to get all "it takes a village" here but children don't just absorb their social and moral cues from their parents and grandparents, they absorb them from everyone around them. Treating them like pestilent little pariahs probably not a good idea.
― and this section is called boner (Phil D.), Tuesday, 13 December 2016 19:28 (seven years ago) link
obviously lex should just cut all the parents out of his life; it's better for everyone
it won't help on the sidewalks, but life is sadly imperfect
― mookieproof, Tuesday, 13 December 2016 19:31 (seven years ago) link
yeah louis it's fairly easy to come in and say this.
the truth of the thread is it began by someone saying they hated children, the word "hated" was used, then subsequently the hatred was toned down to a diet version of "would prefer not to be around them" - which is fine. no problem with people choosing how to spend their time.
― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Tuesday, 13 December 2016 19:32 (seven years ago) link
the truth of the thread is it began by someone saying they hated children, the word "hated" was used
stop lying and exaggerating you ridiculously overdramatic person
― lex pretend, Tuesday, 13 December 2016 19:33 (seven years ago) link
Xps he did say that was the nadir of what io was talking about! just didn't think it fair to say either is "blaming the child"
― banfred bann (wins), Tuesday, 13 December 2016 19:33 (seven years ago) link
the word "hated" was used
By lex?
― The Doug Walters of Crime (Tom D.), Tuesday, 13 December 2016 19:34 (seven years ago) link
you have to wonder about the motivation behind interpreting "i dislike being around children and am annoyed by them and their parents" as "i hate all children and they make me an irate monster"
― lex pretend, Tuesday, 13 December 2016 19:34 (seven years ago) link
also i hated children when i was a child, it's not a new development― lex pretend, Monday, December 12, 2016 12:11 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― lex pretend, Monday, December 12, 2016 12:11 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― and this section is called boner (Phil D.), Tuesday, 13 December 2016 19:34 (seven years ago) link
As an adult, hanging out near the elementary school playground every day is finally YOUR choice.
― Evan, Tuesday, 13 December 2016 19:35 (seven years ago) link
you know who loved children?
― Our Sweet Fredrest (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 13 December 2016 19:35 (seven years ago) link
Humbert Humbert
― Our Sweet Fredrest (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 13 December 2016 19:36 (seven years ago) link
oh shit now I don't know what to think
― banfred bann (wins), Tuesday, 13 December 2016 19:37 (seven years ago) link
xp Jimmy Savile
― troops in djibouti (Ye Mad Puffin), Tuesday, 13 December 2016 19:38 (seven years ago) link
He loved corpses too, so he doesn't really count.
― The Doug Walters of Crime (Tom D.), Tuesday, 13 December 2016 19:42 (seven years ago) link
― Our Sweet Fredrest (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, December 13, 2016 2:35 PM (one minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
he was also a vegetarian iirc
― I've read Ta-nehisi Coates. (marcos), Tuesday, 13 December 2016 19:42 (seven years ago) link
Corpses are much more polite than children tbf.
― troops in djibouti (Ye Mad Puffin), Tuesday, 13 December 2016 19:43 (seven years ago) link
if we can ban both strollers (Britishes "prams") and dogs then I'll consider this thread a winner
― droit au butt (Euler), Tuesday, 13 December 2016 19:51 (seven years ago) link
lex's selective memory perhaps some indication that he is, just maybe, dimly and partially aware of being wrong here
― Οὖτις, Tuesday, 13 December 2016 19:58 (seven years ago) link
I wasn't ignoring this I just got pissed off at the xpost bug
don't worry about it - I think I gave my view above, such as it is: I'm not much of a dog person but took the original revive in the spirit intended; then everybody literally - literally - I mean this literally - went insane
your posts have been good lg fwiw but otherwise tombot otm basically
― banfred bann (wins), Tuesday, 13 December 2016 20:00 (seven years ago) link
― Οὖτις, Tuesday, December 13, 2016 7:58 PM (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
this overreaction to mild hyperbole is completely fucking ludicrous and, I'd posit, far more bizarre behaviour than merely ~hating children
― lex pretend, Tuesday, 13 December 2016 21:25 (seven years ago) link
I hate hyperbole with the fury of a hundred suns.
― a little too mature to be cute (Aimless), Tuesday, 13 December 2016 21:28 (seven years ago) link
Two things based on what I have read:
1/ Misanthrophy does indeed come in a couple of flavours. Patricia Highsmith was def one for people hating and animal loving. Lex is hating on children and loving of dogs so both his love and hate are too particular.2/ Not sure about this notion that children are the only disruptive ones. Dogs can be quite disruptive in pubs, crawling under your leg and begging for your attention. Often in the same class as small children. They are similar and must be trained well to behave. I try to avoid both.
― xyzzzz__, Tuesday, 13 December 2016 21:47 (seven years ago) link
3/ Plants and stones are the best.
― xyzzzz__, Tuesday, 13 December 2016 21:48 (seven years ago) link
lol Aimless
― Οὖτις, Tuesday, 13 December 2016 22:02 (seven years ago) link
Mild hyperbole can be irritating because of the sweeping statements involved e.g.
oh and another thing is that 99% of the time having children turns formerly interesting and fun adults into complete bores (the 1% mostly comprises naturally gifted raconteurs who can make any anecdote entertaining). this thread seems evidence of that
and the 'hey I don't know why everyone gets so wound up - it's only a bit of mild hyperbole' escape clause.
― Dr Drudge (Bob Six), Tuesday, 13 December 2016 22:09 (seven years ago) link
he really meant only 96%
― Οὖτις, Tuesday, 13 December 2016 22:10 (seven years ago) link
can you imagine anyone being called a bad person for not enjoying the company of dogs or cats?
If you don't enjoy the company of dogs or cats, you are a bad person.
― I hear from this arsehole again, he's going in the river (James Morrison), Tuesday, 13 December 2016 23:30 (seven years ago) link
I've only ever heard "I don't like children" from gay men and quite supercilious ones. I'm not saying that that's you, Lex, but it has driven me mad in the past. It's too much of a pose and it's one that's definitely worth resisting strongly, IMO.
On the other hand, resisting middle class indulgent parents who'll let their children do anything they want is something we should all get behind. I once saw a 5-7 year old boy climb into the freezer cabinet at waitrose (the kinda trough ones) and walk over the produce, climbing over the glass patricians that separate the trough while his mother, pushing the trolley alongside him, occasionally meekly called out "Charlie [or whatever - one of those old fashioned classy names] the man will be very cross if he sees you in there.... We could get thrown out... You might be told off soon. " & similar while I looked on aghast.
― Acting Crazy (Instrumental) (jed_), Wednesday, 14 December 2016 00:10 (seven years ago) link
"Glass patricians" o_O
― Acting Crazy (Instrumental) (jed_), Wednesday, 14 December 2016 00:11 (seven years ago) link
smash them
― kinder, Wednesday, 14 December 2016 00:17 (seven years ago) link
shouldnt stow thrones
― loudmouth darraghmac ween (darraghmac), Wednesday, 14 December 2016 00:18 (seven years ago) link
I've only ever heard "I don't like children" from gay men and quite supercilious ones. I'm not saying that that's you, Lex
hmm if only there was enough evidence for us to determine this conclusively
― Οὖτις, Wednesday, 14 December 2016 00:21 (seven years ago) link
I've heard that from all kinds of people. Including my wife. And me.
― El Tomboto, Wednesday, 14 December 2016 00:31 (seven years ago) link
no one likes kids, the parents itt are hardcore lying to themselves because that's what they have to do. 'you tell a lie so much, you start to believe it's real...' - vito from the sopranos
― sleepingbag, Wednesday, 14 December 2016 00:33 (seven years ago) link
gay vito?
― loudmouth darraghmac ween (darraghmac), Wednesday, 14 December 2016 00:36 (seven years ago) link
I like kids, I just don't think anyone should be having them based on my entirely pessimistic view of what the world will be like in 50 or 20 years.
― Acting Crazy (Instrumental) (jed_), Wednesday, 14 December 2016 00:38 (seven years ago) link
Or two years.
― Acting Crazy (Instrumental) (jed_), Wednesday, 14 December 2016 00:44 (seven years ago) link
Everything he did was pose—a pose so deeply calculated that if one were not on the lookout one mistook it for impulse. Ralph had never met a man who lived so much in the land of calculation. His tastes, his studies, his accomplishments, his collections, were all for a purpose. His life on his hill-top at Florence had been a pose of years. His solitude, his ennui, his love for his daughter, his good manners, his bad manners, were so many features of a mental image constantly present to him as a model of impertinence and mystification. His ambition was not to please the world, but to please himself by exciting the world’s curiosity and then declining to satisfy it. It made him feel great to play the world a trick.
― Acting Crazy (Instrumental) (jed_), Wednesday, 14 December 2016 01:06 (seven years ago) link
Fair to say: I probably like my (late) dog more than I like most other people's children, and one reason I loved him was because he was very tolerant of the children who wanted to interact with him. Probably also fair to say that I had a lot of issues with other kids when I was a kid, because what kind of asshole decides it's OK to bully another kid who is in the middle of chemotherapy?
However, entitled parents are far, far worse than their progeny, and parents being cruel to their kids in public gives me rage. See also: friends with boy children who are all 'go for it kiddo, be the best you can be' but with girl children, 'sharing is important, wait your turn'.
― jane burkini (suzy), Wednesday, 14 December 2016 07:56 (seven years ago) link
i've most often heard it from straight women, but almost always online, in the context of a vent they wouldn't be able to say out loud. hardly ever from straight men. i don't know why you'd say it's a pose or pretend to have that sort of insight into how people really feel
― lex pretend, Wednesday, 14 December 2016 09:08 (seven years ago) link