EXCELSIOR is the second solo album by British musician LOLZ Coombes.

i lol'd

Or you live in, say, Hoboken so your local clubs only represent douchebags and terrible music
― Evan, Thursday, December 8, 2016

dont be mean to yo la tengo
― flappy bird, Thursday, December 8, 2016

Just realised I was confusing Vera Bradley with Vera Drake the abortionist mike leigh movie, which made sufjan's joke seem nastier than it was

Vera Bradley might not be so well known. Either way, I apologize for any nastiness felt. Not a good topic for clumsy jokes.

As if a danish woman would carry a vera bradley bag, fetus or no

Perhaps if she had a semester at IU

Nørmkorjenn

if pizza is allowed as pie, pie will wipe the floor with cake. or something else a bit less disgusting sounding.

― a little too mature to be cute (Aimless), Thursday, December 15, 2016 1:30 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

not necessarily, if pizza is allowed as pie then it stands to reason that gin & tonic can be allowed as cake and then it's all to play for again

― banfred bann (wins), Thursday, December 15, 2016 1:32 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Somebody up the road from me actually got convicted for getting Hot under the Collie :p

― calzino, Thursday, December 15, 2016 7:41 AM

Man's best friend with benefits

― troops in djibouti (Ye Mad Puffin), Thursday, December 15, 2016 7:41 AM

-_-so fkn sorry everyone, my girlfriend went thru this thread and pointed out all the ways i've been bad & racist. I am subjecting myself to some good old fashioned anal discipline forthwith
― Dave Plaintive rapper with classical training (imago), Wednesday, December 14, 2016 2:01 PM (yesterday)

― sarahell, Thursday, December 15, 2016 3:22 AM (eight hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

chute tyte

― Darcy Sarto (Ward Fowler), Thursday, December 15, 2016 3:26 AM (eight hours ago)

^^ Ward providing stiff competition to wins here in the concise pun department.

i don't like it, but i respect it

holy shit

tight-ass

(I saw that post earlier but had somehow skipped over the "anal discipline" part of imago's post so my initial reaction was just "wtf is wrong with you ward"

)

haha wins I did the same thing

probably because I had read the original post which didn't include that >:-(

man I am bad at ilx today

you'll make a comeback

fuck you

ilx is finally returning to normal ahhhhhh

http://68.media.tumblr.com/a70f7c04881cc40f17e4ff2bb74c0b26/tumblr_mry2aueA7s1rz9v16o1_400.gif

Leprosy always seemed like an unfair tradeoff for people who are clever enough to have figured out how to fuck an armadillo.

― My Lunch Is Older Than Your Lunch (Old Lunch), Thursday, 15 December 2016 14:32 (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

frederik was banned? any particular post caused it?

Many many posts in the US political threads. It's a 30-day. He'll be welcome back January 6.

roger that

put a baby on a rooftop and s/he will kill her/himself

― F♯ A♯ (∞), Thursday, December 15, 2016 4:03 PM (sixteen minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

This reads like a lifehack

― Evan, Thursday, December 15, 2016 9:24 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Her last marriage was also her longest lasting: she tied the knot with Frédéric Prinz von Anhalt in 1986. He has also battled ill-health in recent years, hospitalised twice in 2010, once after swallowing a bee and another time following his gluing his eye shut.

― めんどくさかった (Matt #2), Sunday, December 18, 2016 7:19 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lolwhut

― Flamenco Drop (VegemiteGrrl), Sunday, December 18, 2016 7:34 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

keeps the bees out iirc

― loudmouth darraghmac ween (darraghmac), Sunday, December 18, 2016 8:03 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

The boy lay on his back in bed, eyes open, staring at the ceiling. His mouth was open. In one hand, an empty tube of model-airplane cement was tightly clenched; all over the bed were empty bottles of airplane dope, paint thinner, turps.

The bees had torn him open. His guts had fallen out.

'xxx had torn him open. his guts had fallen out' is my favourite b-tier ilx meme, thx for the reminder

'b-tier' was an entirely unintentional pun, i assure you

np buzzaro

ilx hivemind

every ilx thread but each time you write the word "bee" you close the thread faster

write read

y'all even open the acclaimed music threads?

sometimes need that jolt of fury to get me going in a morning

what do you call the type of boot that's like a doc martens but with a cap toe?

― just another (diamonddave85), Monday, December 19, 2016 4:06 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i guess like the ones lamp posted

― just another (diamonddave85), Monday, December 19, 2016 4:06 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

[...]

cap toe doc marten

― lag∞n, Monday, December 19, 2016 4:07 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I'm a simple man with simple tastes

http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/102/687/beeweapon.jpg

can't shake the feeling that people are just making up the ones I don't know

― sam jax sax jam (Jordan), Wednesday, 14 December 2016 17:58 (one week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

24. Can't Shake the Feeling
25. People Are Just Making Up
26. The Ones Eye Don't Know

― ILXorcist 2: The Heretic (Eric H.), Wednesday, 14 December 2016 17:59 (one week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

LBI, thank you for alerting me to this new form of batshittery. Apparently Gwyneth Paltrow believes in it too (of course she does).
― emil.y, vrijdag 23 december 2016 2:07 (eight hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Ohh yeah that seems made for her tbh.
must be hard for her to hear that song of her husband's, "it was all yell-eau"
― forgive me fader for I have sinned (wins), Friday, 23 December 2016 10:47 (four hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

necessary context

All this mostly reminds me of my ex gf (UK, Yorkshire, bad plumbing) who believed shouting at water contaminated it or made it foul. Or made little water babby cry. Won't say it's the reason we broke up but hey ho.

― Le Bateau Ivre, Thursday, December 22, 2016 7:17 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

sorry, def required

it'll be great if Sgt Pepper bloke has shopped himself into his own shitty collage and posts it prior to cutting his own throat at five to midnight on Saturday

― Rock Wokeman (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 29 December 2016 14:30 (fifty-five seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

too soon

:D

i just saw assassins creed. if you watch assassins creed i think it will make you retroactively have a good time at rogue one.

― Philip Nunez, Monday, January 2, 2017 11:12 AM (three hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I have a feeling if you see Assassins Creed it will make you retroactively have a good time at literally anything. The dentist, church, DMV ...

― Josh in Chicago, Monday, January 2, 2017 11:17 AM (three hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

....assassinations, Creed concerts...

― mega pegasus for reindeer (Doctor Casino), Monday, January 2, 2017 12:44 PM (two hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Arturo D2scanini

― fgti, Monday, January 2, 2017 9:20 PM (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Issues of compensation and business model aside, how mindblowing a piece of software is Spotify? Instant access to every song in the worlds biggest record collection!

I could not have imagined something like this as a kid.

Remember when Napster came out, the thrill of music being available per request! Up until then I could only hear what came on the radio, what was on mtv, on sampler cds with music magazines, and of course what I could afford and what I could borrow from friends or at the library...

Remember vividly a day at the school library, I must have been 12 or 13, I was on the computer and some girls from a class above mine were doing group work. I was on iMesh and so I asked them: Hey, is there a song you'd like to hear? They were hesitant to answer, maybe cause they didn't see the point of the question, probably also because it amounted to a kind of flirting and they were my seniors and all. But anyway, after a short while one of the girls was like, "I think he'll be able to get the song on the computer" and they asked for Lady Marmalade (the Xtina, Lil Kim, Mya, Pink version).

I searched for it and 20 minutes later I'd downloaded it and was able to play it back through the sound blasters. Felt like magic. The girls were impressed, but I think I was even more impressed. Never forgot that day.

― niels, Saturday, 7 January 2017 06:09 (five hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

so not gonna happen

― Οὖτις, Saturday, 7 January 2017 10:15 (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Haha