Non-rap examples of lyrics where the artist refers to him/herself by name

Habitual with The Fall too, under a variety of names - Mark, Mr Mark Smith, M.E.S., Mr and Mrs Smith

(Prefab Sprout might have more examples too, eg "Paddy Joe… Don't you remember me?" in We Let the Stars Go)

Hey, hey: we're the Monkees.

Now when I start making love to my woman
I don´t stop until I know she´s sas-ified
And I can always tell when she gets sas-ified
´Cause when she gets sas-fied she start calling my name
She´d say: ´Clarence Carter, Clarence Carter, Clarence Carter
Clarence Carter, ooooh shit, Clarence Carter´
The other night I was strokin´ my woman
And it got so good to her, you know what she told me
Let me tell you what she told me, she said:
´Stroke it Clarence Carter, but don´t stroke so fast
If my stuff ain´t tight enough, you can stick it up my´ woo!

(Haha I knew there were other Sprout things, Woof, but I wanted to get in quick because I was cross that you beat me to the Dexys one.)

haha that ´Clarence Carter, Clarence Carter, Clarence Carter´ part is the only thing that prevents that from being the perfect karaoke song

also still laughing @ the fact that he had to self-censor "ass" but not "shit"

Presumably he censored it because of buttsex taboo, not because ass itself is so strong.

"Sincerely, L. Cohen"

I know, its still funny to me

even worse is "I stroke it to the north, I stroke it to the south, I stroke it everywhere, I even stroke it with my.........ahhhhh!!!"

The Auteurs - "Some Changes"

This kid comes up to me
Says "You've got to raise your game"
This kid is half my age
"Pleased to meet you, Mr Haines"

oh yeah, Ween has a ton of these, especially in their early days

"the letter" and "killing two birds" by kristin hersh

Are you ready Steve? uh-huh
Andy? Yeah
Mick? Okay
Well all right fellas, let's go!

xxpost "What Deener Was Talkin' About" is a good one and their best song imo

Super Furry Animals - Arnofio/Glo in the Dark

I said: "Why do you do what you do?"
"Oh why do you do what you do?"
(Guto glows in the dark)
(Bunfy glows in the dark)
"Why do you do what you do?"
(Dafydd glows in the dark)
(Cian glows in the dark)
"Why do you do what you do?"
(Gruffy glows in the dark)
(Gorwel glows in the dark)

"Sincerely, L. Cohen"

already mentioned

Jerry Lee Lewis is the master of this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b92tpwTCC2I

(We are) The Orange Alabaster Mushroom

"How do you do? I don’t think that we’ve met.
My name is Ian and I’m from Minor Threat."

When I was seventeen (tell us about it Green)
There was a world to know about (check it out)
Everyday she'd call me (what'd she say?)
Is it over yet? Do you love me?

― woke cop, boo! (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, December 7, 2016 4:21 AM (four hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

oh good i was just about to post this one

Doesn't exactly fit the thread, but Dan Bejar has managed to fit the word "Destroyer" into a bunch of songs:

I was a desert in love with extremes
You married well, a gentlewoman of means who
Kept the word "Destroyer" embroidered on her jeans, too

and

I guess the streets will suffice 'til everybody makes nice
But there's a rumor going 'round even Destroyers have a price

+ several other songs

Mandy Moore in "Candy"

old 97's, 'barrier reef'

The Empty Bottle was half empty, tide was low, and I was thirsty
Saw her sitting at the bar, you know how some girls are
Always making eyes, well she wasn't making eyes
So I sidled up beside her, settled down and shouted, "Hi there."
"My name's Stewart Ransom Miller, I'm a serial lady-killer."

John Lennon's "Hold On, John"

Hold on John
John hold on, it's gonna be alright
You're gonna win the fight

Some of those Mark E. Smith examples:

This is Mr. and Mrs. Smith
To whom you are speaking

And sometimes they say
"Hey Mark, you're spoiling all the paintwork"

Watch out makers of fads
It's MES in shoulder pads

Too Much Joy - the Otter Song

I wanna be Tim Otter Quirk

― how's life, Wednesday, December 7, 2016 6:52 AM (five hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Yes! Also, "Theme Song"

"To create, you must destroy /
Smash a glass and cry, Too Much Joy"

Move over, Rover,
And let Jimi take over

Gary Wilson, "Gary's In the Park"

multiple Black Oak Arkansas songs (Hot n Nasty, Jim Dandy, etc.)

I st-st-stuttered when you asked me what I'm thinking about, felt like I couldn't breathe
You asked what's wrong with me, my best friend Lesley said "Oh she's just being Miley"

Roger Waters, "(Everyday) War Crimes, Part III"

Hide your wives, hide your daughters
Here comes the ghost of Roger Waters

Roma, roma-ma
Gaga, oh la la
Want your bad romance

I truly apologize for dredging up traumatic memories that we've all so heroically learned to repress but I just have to ask:

Well

Are you Johnny Ray?
Are you Slim Ray?
Are you Paid Ray?
Who wants to know? Who wants to know?

Are you Sting Ray?
Are you Nick Ray?
Are you Jimmy Ray?
Who wants to know? Who wants to know?

I am not Jesus though I have the same initials - Jarvis Cocker/Pulp - Dishes

One more Leonard Cohen! On Coming Home:

I love to speak with Leonard
He’s a sportsman and a shepherd
He’s a lazy bastard
Living in a suit

Learned about this one from the "You Must Remember This" podcast -- second episode ever! (And this song is not a joke -- I'm only quoting the first part of it, it gets crazier from there.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCCw6gYEeKw

My name is Francis Albert (Francis Albert Sinatra)
And I sing love songs mostly after dark, mostly in saloons
I've had some very good years
I haven't missed a whole lot in those firecracker years
And I don't want to miss a thing when the future appears

I like to sit outside on a summer night with a drink in my hand
And a little moonlit music on the stereo
And look at the stars
Then I get an urge to travel through that fabulous sky
If they can do it in the movies, why can't I?

("Seats are now available on the Satellite Special leaving for Mercury, Venus, Pluto, Saturn, Jupiter, Uranus, Neptune.")

What time does the next miracle leave?
I want to be on board
Save me a seat by the window where I can see
All those marvelous things to be seen out there
(Will the trees be green out there, or bare?)

What time does the next miracle leave?
Let's get this show on the road
And when the satellite tours begin
Count me in, count me in , count me in
Count me in, count me in , count me in

Much later in the song -- and again, I swear to god, actual lyrics:

(And then) And then to Uranus (Uranus)
Uranus is heaven
(Heaven, heaven)
(How will you know, Francis, if it's really heaven?)
How will I know?
I will know
If they meet me at the station with a cheese and tomato pizza
Well done (well done), and a little red wine

Forgot the quote -- here we go:

My name is Francis Albert (Francis Albert Sinatra)
And I sing love songs mostly after dark, mostly in saloons
I've had some very good years
I haven't missed a whole lot in those firecracker years
And I don't want to miss a thing when the future appears

I like to sit outside on a summer night with a drink in my hand
And a little moonlit music on the stereo
And look at the stars
Then I get an urge to travel through that fabulous sky
If they can do it in the movies, why can't I?

("Seats are now available on the Satellite Special leaving for Mercury, Venus, Pluto, Saturn, Jupiter, Uranus, Neptune.")

What time does the next miracle leave?
I want to be on board
Save me a seat by the window where I can see
All those marvelous things to be seen out there
(Will the trees be green out there, or bare?)

What time does the next miracle leave?
Let's get this show on the road
And when the satellite tours begin
Count me in, count me in , count me in
Count me in, count me in , count me in

And much later in the song -- and swear to god, these are the real lyrics:

(And then) And then to Uranus (Uranus)
Uranus is heaven
(Heaven, heaven)
(How will you know, Francis, if it's really heaven?)
How will I know?
I will know
If they meet me at the station with a cheese and tomato pizza
Well done (well done), and a little red wine

Said podcast episode (worth a listen)

http://www.youmustrememberthispodcast.com/episodes/youmustrememberthispodcastblog/you-must-remember-this-episode-2-frank-sinatra-in

oh by the way
which one's pink

Ray Charles - "I Believe To My Soul": "Last night you were dreaming and I heard you say/"Oh, Johnny" when you know my name is Ray"

holy shit @ that Sinatra tune

It's something, isn't it.

(BTW, got an email from you, but resend that to ned at kuci dot org if you could.)

We should have a baby
And then I wouldn't feel quite so sad
Then I'd feel like Paul the Saint and not Jack the Lad

Beautiful South - "Have Fun"

I'm gonna put that Sinatra tune in my audition rep

"But that's how it's pronounced!"

Needed: a mashup of Ol' Blue Eyes and the Outhere Brothers

The Chills, "Dream By Dream"

Well they persuaded me I had to leave the band
The reasons given I didn't understand
They said, "Now Martin, if you really cared"
I felt I had to, I'm feeling really scared
They killed my best dream dead

Michael's nervous and the lights are bright

REM - "Strange"

Alice Cooper, "Hard Hearted Alice"

... I'm pretty sure this isn't the only one.

I cheated on you, you cheated on me
And this is not the way that things supposed to be
So tell me girl, is this for real or just an illusion?
I pinch myself to make sure that Wyclef ain't dreamin'

Wyclef - Cheated (Rock Remix)

There was that one song on Liz Phair’s terrible s/t record where she sings “you don’t even know who Liz Phair is.”

Are you State Phair?
Are you Play Phair?
Are you Trade Phair?
Who wants to know? Who wants to know?

My wife lies down in a chair
And peels a pear
I know she's there
I'm making coffee for two
Just me and you
But I come back in with coffee for three
Coffee for three?

My dead wife sits in a chair
Combing her hair
I know she's there
She wanders off to the bed
Shaking her head
"Robyn," she said
"You know I don't take sugar!"

didn't see my favourite mentioned, from Sly's 'Thankful & Thoughtful':

someone should've come
and taken me away
but the main man thought Syl should be here another day
and that's why I've got to be
thankful/thoughtful

Girlpool - "Dear Nora"

In SF we were driving over bridges
We were singing to "I Heard It Through the Grapevine"
Cleo was tired
Harmony was hyper
We switched driving
In the middle of the highway

Blind Willie McTell. So many blues artists did this...

Answer the phone
"Harry, you're no good alone
Why are you sitting at home on the floor?
What kind of pills are you on?"
Ringin' the bell
And nobody's coming to help
Your daddy lives by himself
He just wants to know that you're well

Harry Styles • As It Was