34. Now, I'm liberal, but to a degreeI want ev'rybody to be freeBut if you think that I'll let Barry GoldwaterMove in next door and marry my daughterYou must think I'm crazy!I wouldn't let him do it for all the farms in Cuba.
― The Pompatus Of Love (Boxing Kangaroo), Sunday, 26 April 2009 17:45 (fifteen years ago) link
35. Well, I set my monkey on the logAnd ordered him to do the DogHe wagged his tail and shook his headAnd he went and did the Cat insteadHe's a weird monkey, very funky.
I sat with my high-heeled sneakers onWaiting to play tennis in the noonday sunI had my white shorts rolled up past my waistAnd my wig-hat was falling in my faceBut they wouldn't let me on the tennis court.
― The Pompatus Of Love (Boxing Kangaroo), Sunday, 26 April 2009 17:46 (fifteen years ago) link
God said "No"Abe say "What??"
― one thousand BIG HOOS raging and pounding (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Sunday, 26 April 2009 18:57 (fifteen years ago) link
matos's PLAYBOY quote sounds very funny read in a Terry Tibbs voice.
― piscesx, Sunday, 26 April 2009 19:34 (fifteen years ago) link
― thirdalternative, Sunday, 26 April 2009 19:42 (fifteen years ago) link
creepy orange skin and black eyeliner:
― thirdalternative, Sunday, 26 April 2009 19:44 (fifteen years ago) link
number them plz!
― Matos W.K., Sunday, 26 April 2009 20:00 (fifteen years ago) link
39. "Ladies and gentlemen please welcome the poet laureate of rock 'n' roll. The voice of the promise of the '60s counterculture. The guy who forced folk into bed with rock. Who donned makeup in the '70s and disappeared into a haze of substance abuse. Who emerged to find Jesus. Who was written off as a has-been by the end of the '80s, and who suddenly shifted gears releasing some of the strongest music of his career beginning in the late '90s. Ladies and gentlemen - Columbia recording artist Bob Dylan!"
― Josh in Chicago, Sunday, 26 April 2009 20:02 (fifteen years ago) link
40.
― Josh in Chicago, Sunday, 26 April 2009 20:07 (fifteen years ago) link
41.
42.
― Josh in Chicago, Sunday, 26 April 2009 20:09 (fifteen years ago) link
43. He love your sexy body, he loves your dirty mind He loves when you hold him when you grab him from behind Oh baby, you're such a pretty thing I can't wait to introduce you to the other members of my gang You don't need no wax job, you're smooth enough for me If you need you oil changed I'll do it for you free Oh baby, the pleasure would be all mine If you let me drive your pickup truck and park it where the sun don't shine Every time he touches you his hair stands up on end His legs begin to quiver and his mind begins to bend Oh baby, you're such a tasty treat But I'm under doctor's orders, I'm afraid to overeat He love your sense of humor, your disposition too There's absolutely nothing that he don't love about you Oh baby, I'm on my hands and knees Life would be so simple if I only had you to please Oh baby, turn around and say goodbye You go to the airport now and I'm going home to cry (Chorus) He loves your... Electric dumplings Red bell peppers Fuel injection Service charge Five-speed gearbox Long indurance Quest for junk food Big refrigerator Trembling wilbury Marble earrings Porky curtains Power steering Bottled water Parts and services (Bridge) Dirty world, a dirty world, it's a ...ing dirty world
― The Wild Shirtless Lyrics of Mark Farner (C. Grisso/McCain), Sunday, 26 April 2009 20:15 (fifteen years ago) link
oh man, I forgot "Dirty World," well played
― Matos W.K., Sunday, 26 April 2009 20:16 (fifteen years ago) link
haha awesome. Cosign.
― tits akimbo (kenan), Sunday, 26 April 2009 20:37 (fifteen years ago) link
"big refrigerator"
Does he really say "porky curtains"? That's disgusting!
― tits akimbo (kenan), Sunday, 26 April 2009 20:38 (fifteen years ago) link
44. John Wesley Harding was a friend to the poor, he traveled with a gun in every hand
― Alias (Gudrun Brangwen), Sunday, 26 April 2009 22:23 (fifteen years ago) link
45. http://blog.kir.com/archives/images/dylan_newport_2002.jpg
― tylerw, Sunday, 26 April 2009 22:30 (fifteen years ago) link
46. Dylan says today's recordings sound "atrocious"Legend fine with illegal downloads because "it ain’t worth nothing anyway"
(moreso for the sub-header)
― NoTimeBeforeTime, Sunday, 26 April 2009 22:38 (fifteen years ago) link
John Wesley Harding was a friend to the poor, he traveled with a gun in every hand
Ha, I'd forgotten that one.
― The Pompatus Of Love (Boxing Kangaroo), Sunday, 26 April 2009 22:41 (fifteen years ago) link
His Buckwheat impersonation on "We Are The World"
― Alex in NYC, Sunday, 26 April 2009 22:42 (fifteen years ago) link
48. No mention of SOY BOMB?
(maybe this doesn't fit the thread, since it wasn't a moment that was actually instigated by Dylan)
― NoTimeBeforeTime, Sunday, 26 April 2009 22:51 (fifteen years ago) link
49. Sorry about the terrible video quality:
"Well, my daddy he didn't leave me too much, he was a very simple man, and he didn't leave me a lot but he did say this he did say SON ... he said, ...
...
he said so many things you know ..."
― NoTimeBeforeTime, Sunday, 26 April 2009 22:55 (fifteen years ago) link
50. And a personal favourite of mine ... Dylan inducting Gordon Lightfoot into the Canadian Music Hall of Fame.
http://archives.cbc.ca/arts_entertainment/music/topics/743-4679/http://www.lightfoot.ca/dylangl.htm
We could make a whole separate thread of ridiculousness based on just that clip, with everything from Anne Murray's hairdo, to Dylan missing his cues, to the spotlights furiously circling the auditorium waiting for Dylan to appear, to Dylan's sequined jacket and black leather gloves, to Dylan being too distracted to speak because he was watching himself on the video monitors behind him, to Lightfoot's rambling speech, to ...
― NoTimeBeforeTime, Sunday, 26 April 2009 23:08 (fifteen years ago) link
51. Some old David Letterman anniversary show from Radio City Music Hall, where they gave him a tremendous build up and recruited a huge all-star band, and he came out and sang the laziest, slurriest "Like a Rolling Stone" ever. I'm pretty sure he just sang the vowels.
― Hideous Lump, Monday, 27 April 2009 02:03 (fifteen years ago) link
52. After a while we took in the clothes,Nobody said very much.Just some old wild shirts and a couple pairs of pantsWhich nobody really wanted to touch.Mama come in and picked up a bookAn' Papa asked her what it was.Someone else asked, "What do you care?"Papa said, "Well, just because."Then they started to take back their clothes,Hang 'em on the line.It was January the thirtiethAnd everybody was feelin' fine.
The next day everybody got upSeein' if the clothes were dry.The dogs were barking, a neighbor passed,Mama, of course, she said, "Hi!""Have you heard the news?" he said, with a grin,"The Vice-President's gone mad!""Where?" "Downtown." "When?" "Last night.""Hmm, say, that's too bad!""Well, there's nothin' we can do about it," said the neighbor,"It's just somethin' we're gonna have to forget.""Yes, I guess so," said Ma,Then she asked me if the clothes was still wet.
I reached up, touched my shirt,And the neighbor said, "Are those clothes yours?"I said, "Some of 'em, not all of 'em."He said, "Ya always help out around here with the chores?"I said, "Sometime, not all the time."Then my neighbor, he blew his noseJust as papa yelled outside,"Mama wants you t' come back in the house and bring them clothes."Well, I just do what I'm told,So, I did it, of course.I went back in the house and Mama met meAnd then I shut all the doors.
― Dave Depper (Davey D), Monday, 27 April 2009 03:49 (fifteen years ago) link
53:
BF: Who are some of your favorite songwriters?
BD: Buffett I guess. Lightfoot. Warren Zevon. Randy. John Prine. Guy Clark. Those kinds of writers.
BF: What songs do you like of Buffett's?
BD: "Death of an Unpopular Poet." There's another one called "He Went to Paris."
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/04/15/bob-dylan-exclusive-inter_n_187216.html
― edb, Monday, 27 April 2009 04:01 (fifteen years ago) link
54.
― clotpoll, Monday, 27 April 2009 05:15 (fifteen years ago) link
"I'm a better singer than Caruso"
and lot's of DLB, of course.
"Give the Anarchist a cigarette", etc...
― Mark G, Monday, 27 April 2009 10:15 (fifteen years ago) link
also, "I'm glad I'm not me!"
There's 100 just in that film!
"Have you heard the news?" he said, with a grin,"The Vice-President's gone mad!""Where?" "Downtown." "When?" "Last night.""Hmm, say, that's too bad!"
cosign!
― sleeve, Monday, 27 April 2009 10:47 (fifteen years ago) link
58. "I never could learn to drink that blood and to call it wine/I never could learn to hold you, love, and to call you mine"
― I'm crossing over into enterprise (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 27 April 2009 13:32 (fifteen years ago) link
The bit at 0.50 especially :
― Matt #2, Monday, 27 April 2009 14:19 (fifteen years ago) link
59, sorry
― Matt #2, Monday, 27 April 2009 14:20 (fifteen years ago) link
60. Hearts of Fire
― Kevin John Bozelka, Monday, 27 April 2009 14:40 (fifteen years ago) link
61. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHOHOHO
HEH
"Start again."
― Jake Brown, Monday, 27 April 2009 15:07 (fifteen years ago) link
62. Well, out comes a farmer,He must have thought that I was nuts.He immediately looked at meAnd stuck a gun into my guts.
I fell downTo my bended knees,Saying, "I dig farmers,Don't shoot me, please!"
― The Pompatus Of Love (Boxing Kangaroo), Monday, 27 April 2009 18:20 (fifteen years ago) link
63. There's a woman in my lap and she's/drinking champagne
― Mr. Que, Monday, 27 April 2009 18:22 (fifteen years ago) link
as someone who has barely heard any of these songs, this thread is absolutely hysterical. makes me wish i owned more than 1 dylan album.
― just being playful and friendly (some dude), Monday, 27 April 2009 18:24 (fifteen years ago) link
64.Feel like falling in love with the first woman I meetPutting her in a wheel barrow and wheeling her down the street
― The Wild Shirtless Lyrics of Mark Farner (C. Grisso/McCain), Monday, 27 April 2009 18:25 (fifteen years ago) link
65. Othello told Desdemona, "I'm cold, cover me with a blanket.By the way, what happened to that poison wine?"She says, "I gave it to you, you drank it."
― Mr. Que, Monday, 27 April 2009 18:27 (fifteen years ago) link
66. ('cause we needed more wilburys, plus lol springsteen)
Tweeter and the monkey man were hard up for cashThey stayed up all night selling cocaine and hashTo an undercover cop who had a sister named janFor reasons unexplained she loved the monkey man
Tweeter was a boy scout before she went to vietnamAnd found out the hard way nobody gives a damnThey knew that they found freedom just across the jersey lineSo they hopped into a stolen car took highway 99
(chorus)And the walls came down all the way to hellNever saw them when theyre standingNever saw them when they fell
The undercover cop never liked the monkey manEven back in childhood he wanted to see him in the canJan got married at fourteen to a rackateer named billShe made secret calls to the monkey man from a mansion on the hill
It was out on thunder road - tweeter at the wheelThey crashed into paradise - they could hear them tires squealThe undercover cop pulled up and said everyone of yous a liarIf you dont surrender now its gonna go down to the wire
(chorus)
An ambulance rolled up - a state trooper close behindTweeter took his gun away and messed up his mindThe undercover cop was left tied up to a treeNear the souvenir stand by the old abandoned factory
Next day the undercover cop was hot in pursuitHe was taking the whole thing personalHe didnt care about the lootJan had told him many times it was you to me who taughtIn jersey anythings legal as long as you dont get caught
Someplace by rahway prison they ran out of gasThe undercover cop had cornered them said boy, you didntThink that this could lastJan jumped out of bed said theres someplace I gotta goShe took a gun out of the drawer and said its best if you dont know
The undercover cop was found face down in a fieldThe monkey man was on the river bridge using tweeter as a shieldJan said to the monkey man Im not fooled by tweeters curlI knew him long before he ever became a jersey girl
Now the town of jersey city is quieting down againIm sitting in a gambling club called the lions denThe tv set been blown up, every bit of it is goneEver since the nightly news show that the monkey man was on
I guess Ill to to florida and get myself some sunThere aint no more opportunity here, everythings been doneSometime I think of tweeter, sometime I think of janSometime I dont think about nothing but the monkey man
― The Wild Shirtless Lyrics of Mark Farner (C. Grisso/McCain), Monday, 27 April 2009 18:28 (fifteen years ago) link
ha Tweeter always puts me in stitches
― Mr. Que, Monday, 27 April 2009 18:29 (fifteen years ago) link
yeah ill takedown of springsteen
― rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Monday, 27 April 2009 18:31 (fifteen years ago) link
67. Romeo, he said to Juliet, "You got a poor complexion.It doesn't give your appearance a very youthful touch!"Juliet said back to Romeo, "Why don't you just shove offIf it bothers you so much."
― Moreno, Monday, 27 April 2009 18:48 (fifteen years ago) link
x-post What's funny is that it references at least one then-unreleased track ("Lion's Den") and then one that Springsteen didn't write ("Jersey Girl").
Love that song. Always wondered about Dylan's personal relationship with Springsteen.
68. Bob Dylan's 115th Dream
I was riding on the MayflowerWhen I thought I spied some landI yelled for Captain ArabI have yuh understandWho came running to the deckSaid, "Boys, forget the whaleLook on over yonderCut the enginesChange the sailHaul on the bowline"We sang that melodyLike all tough sailors doWhen they are far away at sea
"I think I'll call it America"I said as we hit landI took a deep breathI fell down, I could not standCaptain Arab he startedWriting up some deedsHe said, "Let's set up a fortAnd start buying the place with beads"Just then this cop comes down the streetCrazy as a loonHe throw us all in jailFor carryin' harpoons
Ah me I busted outDon't even ask me howI went to get some helpI walked by a Guernsey cowWho directed me downTo the Bowery slumsWhere people carried signs aroundSaying, "Ban the bums"I jumped right into lineSayin', "I hope that I'm not late"When I realized I hadn't eatenFor five days straight
I went into a restaurantLookin' for the cookI told them I was the editorOf a famous etiquette bookThe waitress he was handsomeHe wore a powder blue capeI ordered some suzette, I said"Could you please make that crepe"Just then the whole kitchen explodedFrom boilin' fatFood was flying everywhereAnd I left without my hat
Now, I didn't mean to be nosyBut I went into a bankTo get some bail for ArabAnd all the boys back in the tankThey asked me for some collateralAnd I pulled down my pantsThey threw me in the alleyWhen up comes this girl from FranceWho invited me to her houseI went, but she had a friendWho knocked me outAnd robbed my bootsAnd I was on the street again
Well, I rapped upon a houseWith the U.S. flag upon displayI said, "Could you help me outI got some friends down the way"The man says, "Get out of hereI'll tear you limb from limb"I said, "You know they refused Jesus, too"He said, "You're not HimGet out of here before I break your bonesI ain't your pop"I decided to have him arrestedAnd I went looking for a cop
I ran right outsideAnd I hopped inside a cabI went out the other doorThis Englishman said, "Fab"As he saw me leap a hot dog standAnd a chariot that stoodParked across from a buildingAdvertising brotherhoodI ran right through the front doorLike a hobo sailor doesBut it was just a funeral parlorAnd the man asked me who I was
I repeated that my friendsWere all in jail, with a sighHe gave me his cardHe said, "Call me if they die"I shook his hand and said goodbyeRan out to the streetWhen a bowling ball came down the roadAnd knocked me off my feetA pay phone was ringingIt just about blew my mindWhen I picked it up and said helloThis foot came through the line
Well, by this time I was fed upAt tryin' to make a stabAt bringin' back any helpFor my friends and Captain ArabI decided to flip a coinLike either heads or tailsWould let me know if I should goBack to ship or back to jailSo I hocked my sailor suitAnd I got a coin to flipIt came up tailsIt rhymed with sailsSo I made it back to the ship
Well, I got back and tookThe parkin' ticket off the mastI was ripping it to shredsWhen this coastguard boat went pastThey asked me my nameAnd I said, "Captain Kidd"They believed me butThey wanted to knowWhat exactly that I didI said for the Pope of ErukeI was employedThey let me go right awayThey were very paranoid
Well, the last I heard of ArabHe was stuck on a whaleThat was married to the deputySheriff of the jailBut the funniest thing wasWhen I was leavin' the bayI saw three ships a-sailin'They were all heading my wayI asked the captain what his name wasAnd how come he didn't drive a truckHe said his name was ColumbusI just said, "Good luck."
― Josh in Chicago, Monday, 27 April 2009 18:54 (fifteen years ago) link
They asked me for some collateralAnd I pulled down my pants
― Josh in Chicago, Monday, 27 April 2009 18:56 (fifteen years ago) link
The Commander-in-Chief answers him while chasing a flySaying, "Death to all those who would whimper and cry"And dropping a bar bell he points to the skySaving, "The sun's not yellow it's chicken"
― Darin, Monday, 27 April 2009 19:05 (fifteen years ago) link
69. It must be a holiday, there's nobody aroundShe studies me closely as I sit downShe got a pretty face and long white shiny legsShe says, "What'll it be?"I say, "I don't know, you got any soft boiled eggs?"
She looks at me, Says "I'd bring you somebut we're out of 'm, you picked the wrong time to come"Then she says, "I know you're an artist, draw a picture of me!"I say, "I would if I could, but,I don't do sketches from memory."
"Well", she says, "I'm right here in front of you, or haven't you looked?"I say," all right, I know, but I don't have my drawing book!"She gives me a napkin, she says, "you can do it on that"I say, "yes I could but,I don't know where my pencil is at!"
She pulls one out from behind her earShe says "all right now, go ahead, draw me, I'm standing right here"I make a few lines, and I show it for her to seeWell she takes a napkin and throws it backAnd says "that don't look a thing like me!"
I said, "Oh, kind miss, it most certainly does"She says, "you must be jokin.'" I say, "I wish I was!"Then she says, "you don't read women authors, do you?"Least that's what I think I hear her say,"Well", I say, "how would you know and what would it matter anyway?"
"Well", she says, "you just don't seem like you do!"I said, "you're way wrong."She says, "which ones have you read then?" I say, "I read Erica Jong!"She goes away for a minute and I slide up out of my chairI step outside back to the busy street, but nobody's going anywhere
― tylerw, Monday, 27 April 2009 19:06 (fifteen years ago) link
that was 25
― Mr. Que, Monday, 27 April 2009 19:08 (fifteen years ago) link
picturing an ill-conceived 90s family comedy... well-meaning, but bumbling dads (inexplicably led by Bob Dylan), try to solve their daughters' problems at school.
― Doctor Casino, Friday, 5 August 2022 12:39 (one year ago) link
the Mike Love diss in his rrhof acceptance speech is hilarioushttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TyqFL9m2odg
― corrs unplugged, Wednesday, 24 May 2023 09:08 (eleven months ago) link
the mike love speech was pretty insane so v good idea to take the piss https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZSAQX2uuUY
― corrs unplugged, Wednesday, 24 May 2023 09:11 (eleven months ago) link
Love apparently likes to take off his shoes when he performs, and during that night’s all-star jam, Mick Jagger stole his shoes.
― Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Wednesday, 24 May 2023 10:51 (eleven months ago) link
cracking up this morning hearing "sign language," a song Dylan donated to Eric Clapton ...
’Twas there by the bakery
Surrounded by fakery
― tylerw, Wednesday, 24 May 2023 15:29 (eleven months ago) link
HBD Bob!
― il lavoro mi rovina la giornata (PBKR), Wednesday, 24 May 2023 17:33 (eleven months ago) link
haha that's a gorgeous lyric
― corrs unplugged, Friday, 26 May 2023 11:39 (eleven months ago) link