Summarise a Novel in 25 Words

Fahrenheit 451 - Ray Bradbury

Young man discovers that goose-stepping morons like him ought to be reading books instead of burning them.

The Alchemist - Paulo Coelho

Be a shepard. Have a wet dream. Travel. Make money. Learn how to summon a sandstorm. Understand nothing. Return home. Good book.

Veronica Decides To Die - Paulo Coelho

Spoiled brat decides to die. She doesn't. The end. Good book.

The New Confessions - William Boyd

Promising film maker hangs out with various historical figures and is captured in the First World War. Talent is greatly under-appreiciated by all, and he fails to live up to his potential.

Any Human Heart - William Boyd

Promising writer hangs out with various historical figures and is captured in the Second World War. Talent is greatly under-appreiciated by all, and he fails to live up to his potential.

Oops, just realised those are both too long.

Gould's Book of Fish - Richard Flannigan

Don't become too interested in fish or you might turn into one.

The Dispossessed - Ursula Le Guin

Anarchy sucks. Capitalism sucks harder.

The Moviegoer - Walker Percy

Well-bred New Orleans stock-broker experiences existential crisis, hooks up with step-cousin.

WHEN WE WERE ORPHANS - Kaziou Ishiguru
"I have a burning need to find my Japanese childhood friend. I wish the fucking japanese would stop fucking Shanghai while i do it!"

SOUL MUSIC - Terry Pratchett
DEATH: What's life all about when you get right down to it?
SUSAN DEATH: Damn, my grandad really did have bony knees
MUSIC WITH ROCKS IN: Mwwwhaaaahh, i will contro, this world!!
DEATH:I dont know, i play a pretty awsome guitar.

THE LAST CONTINENT - Terry Pratchett
"What are the harmless animals in Fourecks where the spiders have killed all the snakes, there are talking kangaroos, it never rains and Rincewind is currently stranded?... Some of the Sheep."

Babbit by Sinclair Lewis

Even my midlife crisis is mundane.

Atonement

Im sure there is a storyline in there somewhere. (Or so says my sister)

The Shrouded Mirror

Girl works for rich girl. Loves rich brother. Evil dead witch try to kill her from inside a mirror. Has this been done before?

That last one was by me i just forgot to change the name. Sorry!

Star Trek: Nemesis

Who cares? You can by the collectors edition on DVD!

Uno,nessuno e centomila(One,nobody and one hundred thousand) - Luigi Pirandello

Man gets crazy,rebuilds his Ego and divorces.All because of his odd nose.

La locandiera - Carlo Goldoni

A sexy woman will seduce three men in her own hostel,and eventually marry the younger/earnest one.

The importance of being Earnest - Oscar Wilde

Masterpiece.Two aristocratic,idiot but sexy ladies will get married with two not-so-earnest guys,one of them is in fact Earnest.

Patrick Melrose Trilogy (aka Some Hope) by Edward St. Aubyn

Abused aristo toddler with bent pop and soak mum does junk in NY, quits, meets royalty, lives to tell all.

You nasty lot, people die if you're not nice. -- AN INSPECTOR CALLS

Don't trust women, you get screwed over on the deal -- DOUBLE INDEMNITY

Hate is love, there is no god. Shit, God just killed my lover, I hate him. -- END OF THE AFFAIR

Look back in anger - John Osborne

Jimmy stays on the couch yelling,Alison irons.Then they(a bear and a squirrel)come back together.

Anything by Paul Auster

Satirical comment on America and moral values. Main character will die at the end.

Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens

Annoying boy asks for more food, then becomes involved in an unfeasibly interwined story where he turns out to be related to his benefactor.

Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare

Romeo and Juliet by Bill Shakespeare

Underage kids get hots for each other. There's an unfortunate breakdown in communications leading to joint suicides. Their famillies feel bad.

Harry Potter by J. K. Rowling

Inconfident orphan joins forces with wise-cracking pal, bossy intelligent girl and large hairy creature to fight forces of evil. Basically it's Star Wars with wizards.

Losing my virginity by Richard Branson
Took risks made money, some balloon flights in between.

Sons & Lovers

Precocious, arty boy consciously loves aspirational mum; subconsciously prefers instinctive dad. Fucks girl like mum but hates it. Mum dies. Starts to work it out.

man is sad, finds a girl, buys some glass, fucks the girl, drinks some alcohol, fucks the girl, gets brainwashed, dies

1984?

We weren't lovers like that By Navtej Sarna
Man's wife leaves him, he thinks about her, thinks about his past life. Keeps thinking
Five point someone by Chetan Bhagat
Three friends in Indian Institute of Technology, try to steal exam papers, gets caught.
Q and A by Vikas Swarup
An illitrate waiter goes to the game show "who will bin a billion", wins the prize, gets arrested on charges of cheating, tells his life story.

Dom Quixote - Miguel de Cervantes

Quixote -I'm crazy because i read books. I'm well. I'm dead.

La Femme de trente ans by Honore de Balzac:

"Poor dopey marquis.
If you'd only learned cunnilingus
Your kid wouldn't be a pirate queen."

DisneyWar -

Reporter James Stewart (who is Goofy, briefly) takes great pains to explain the situation at Disney Headquarters, focussing on Eisner, Katzenberg, Wells, and Gold.

wow your all soo cool

i smell of poo

THE HITCHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY
GOD:"I refuse to prove i exist becfause proof denies faith and without faith I am nothing."
MAN:"But the babel fish is a dead give-away, it proved you exist so therefore you don't."
GOD:"Oh, i had'nt thought of that"
*and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic*
-I know this is way more than 25 words but i could'nt resist, this quote tells you everything you need to know about the book and Douglas Adams.

Walker Percy, Thanatos Syndrome

Psychiatrist comes back from jail. Former patient 'presents' herself. Sodium nefariously dumped into water supply. School a front for child porn. Happy ending.

The old man and the sea - Ernest Hemingway

No one thinks I've got it any more. Woa, that's a big fish. Catch it then sharks eat it. Bummer. Young boy still likes me.

Gone with the wind

She loves Ashley but she marries Rhett that leaves her because he thinks that she still loves Ashley. At the end she remains alone with a ground fist.

Oklahoma land overfarmed to hell, plus drought. Drive to California a la Beverly Hillbillies. OK, but not enough jobs. Laissez faire don't work. Got milk?

The Grapes of Wrath

Vile Bodies: Evelyn Waugh
Young aristocrats party, drink and shag. Earn money. Lose money. No marriage. One goes bonkers. And then there was, like, the war and someone died.

The Moor's Last Sigh: Rushdie
There was a garden called Eden. Two sexy beasts sinned in aforesaid garden. Wait, this sounds familiar. Oh dear, I must stop plagiarising people like God. It's so obvious.

Huh? Isn't that the one where the guy ages at twice the normal rate?

That's right, but it's also saturated with a Christian allegory right from the beginning. 'Moor' even describes himself as a modern 'Lucifer' fallen from grace; the book can be read as an equation of sin, fall and attempted redemption. The protagonist falls due to a relationship with a temptress (ie 'Eve') which causes the destruction of his relationship with his family. Anyway, Rushdie's well-known for his pomo/poco parodies, hybridities, intertextualities etc etc etc Sorry to seem pretentious!

Oh no, it's cool. It's been a few years since I've read it and didn't remember that opening part. I'm not surprised at all, though.

Just thought of another one, have only just rediscovered this site.
Jude: Thomas Hardy
Marriage is very bad: don't do it! It is an evil bourgeois contract designed to trap free spirits. End up miserable and die alone instead.

The Stranger, Camus

If I hadn't killed that Arab I could be getting laid right now.

The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

Drink mixture. Change into another evil side. Kill everyone and than yourself. Leave clues behind to freak everyone out.

Stephen King's "Pet Sematary"

Dad burys dead cat; it comes back scary. Dad burys dead son; he comes back scarier. Dad burys dead wife - really should have known better.