important baseball tweets

@darrenrovell
Andrew Miller says he hasn't washed his jock strap since his last bad outing on Sept. 7. That's 18 appearances and 51 days (H/T @BenReiter)

In unrelated news, Upper Deck is coming out with a limited edition Smell-o-vision series of cards featuring game used baseball equipment! Can't wait to check that out

I know two of the people featured in here: http://mashable.com/2016/10/28/mike-napoli-pooping-game-3

Sad that A's deleted their tweets as I fully support all the SmashMouth bashing.

http://www.espn.com/mlb/story/_/page/QTP_161029SmashMouth/twitter-feud-oakland-athletics-smash-mouth-ensues-following-coco-crisp-world-series-hit

https://twitter.com/Noahsyndergaard/status/797100165110730752

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Czp-lzYUQAIuB_5.jpg
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Czp-lzYUQAAsgJF.jpg
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Czp-lzaUcAAbIQE.jpg

this is an apostrophe

Motivational speaker and author Aubrey Huff took to Twitter.

@aubrey_huff
I mean seriously what the hell is going on? If you have time 2 march, protest and riot. Maybe it's time for something called a job!

@jeffcdwyer
You swung a stick at a ball for a living. Fuck off.

‏

@aubrey_huff
@jeffcdwyer yeah not a lot of boys grow up wanting to do that! I'm such a looser for accomplishing that.

https://mobile.twitter.com/hayesdavenport/status/825913321668870144

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C4UDZl7WcAAPY7b.jpg:small

https://twitter.com/Smatz88/status/834175589695229953

https://twitter.com/Chron_MattYoung/status/834827079560601600

Gary you push through kids to get autographs for a living. I truly don't care my signature won't pay for your PornHub subscription anymore https://t.co/XOiWVyWFzQ

— Micah Johnson (@Micah_Johnson3) May 3, 2017

FENWAY IS CLOSING??? https://t.co/HikPSSYyDb

— DVS (@DVSblast) May 3, 2017

Happy "Loving" day pic.twitter.com/vgwPm0aipi

— Dexter Fowler (@DexterFowler) June 12, 2017

A 15-inch mound in a ballpark lit by 60-watt bulbs. Dodger Stadium in the '60s produced less offense than an Osmond Christmas Special. https://t.co/cMucrArcGV

— Joe Sheehan (@joe_sheehan) July 10, 2017

You, a nerd: why do you like baseball it's boring
Me, wise: cock like a ball bat pic.twitter.com/YsMAOMtCTH

— ak? they gay (@alyssakeiko) August 15, 2017

So Arpaio is free....among people he illegally attempted to detain. America's Toughest Sheriff? We're about to find out. Good luck, Joe.

— Michael Young (@MikeyY626) August 26, 2017

You sound like my agent trying to get me a job after my 2013 season with the Nationals https://t.co/15QaLwk1RI

— dan haren (@ithrow88) August 29, 2017

(his 2013 wasn't awful actually)

welp

http://deadspin.com/willson-contreras-slides-into-mia-khalifas-dms-refuses-1800663882

4.2 bsr @fangraphs so you should 🤐 https://t.co/56MKFvbgoE

— Tommy Pham (@TphamLV) August 13, 2017

These are two interesting tweets: pic.twitter.com/v5KiOEXyY3

— Marc Carig (@MarcCarig) September 19, 2017

hmmm

Folks, I did the math.

Assuming this is his last start, Trevor Williams must allow 3 ER over 5.2 IP in a ND to finish 6-9 with a 4.20 ERA. pic.twitter.com/zifRBMeRn6

— Connor Newcomb (@ConnorNewcomb_) September 26, 2017

Folks, it gets better.

If Homer Bailey goes 6 IP, allows 4 ER and gets the win tomorrow, he finishes 6-9 with a 6.90 ERA and 69 ER allowed. pic.twitter.com/TsTA7BbtC3

— Connor Newcomb (@ConnorNewcomb_) September 26, 2017

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┻┳| •.•) This is a bad idea.
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— Mariners (@Mariners) September 27, 2017

For some reason, C.J. Wilson’s car dealership paid to advertise on the big screen between innings at this meaningless Angels-White Sox game.

— Pedro Moura (@pedromoura) September 29, 2017

He has a Mazda dealership in Chicago. When I was with the Cubs he let me borrow a cherry red Mazda SUV. Zoom zoom

— dan haren (@ithrow88) September 29, 2017

✔

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DLYOZviXkAAd4g3.jpg:small

@Dodgers tell @BMcCarthy32 he’s in. He tells them paint in office sucks. Then says thanks, likes a Flake tweet, chooses arbitrary snack.

— Michael Young (@MikeyY626) October 24, 2017

How do you believe humans arrived on this planet?

— AUBREY HUFF (@aubrey_huff) November 14, 2017

Will be at ur show in Jan. I’m sure you’ll make a stop at @Onnit Let’s train and get weird @joerogan

— Jake Arrieta (@JArrieta34) November 17, 2017

Hi Robert - Yes. Die Hard is a Christmas movie. #BooneAMA https://t.co/et6ukeBK6C

— New York Yankees (@Yankees) December 6, 2017

🏹🏹🏹 pic.twitter.com/9c2nw5hRiw

— Minnesota Twins (@Twins) December 15, 2017

https://deadspin.com/there-is-now-an-app-for-triple-crown-ratio-lines-on-bad-1821792463

time to take a big sip of coffee and check out MLB all-star Sammy Sosa’s engagement photos pic.twitter.com/qfRHNOTFWk

— KT NELSON (@KrangTNelson) February 11, 2018

yikes

walking up Broadway in NYC, i am always startled to see on the sidewalk plaques that they had a parade for Sosa there.

Clayton Kershaw, on if he’s gotten over the World Series: “I don’t really take something and move on. I just kind of absorb it.”

Is that healthy?

“I’m not sure. I’ll let you know, if I explode at some point.”

— Andy McCullough (@McCulloughTimes) February 13, 2018

I pitched a few seasons completely out of the stretch actually, just not by choice https://t.co/13bDxVOzsF

— dan haren (@ithrow88) February 21, 2018

Dan Haren's like a modern day Bob Uecker, hope he sticks around

Pedro Moura looks exactly like I expected him to look

Been sitting on this... Exit velo and launch angle and it’s correlation to % chance of becoming a homer. 2014 vs. 2017 pic.twitter.com/UrfVVFVuJB

— Justin Verlander (@JustinVerlander) March 2, 2018

We..worked on this story for a year...and...he just...he tweeted it outhttps://t.co/E4prSi2A4F

— Ben Lindbergh (@BenLindbergh) March 2, 2018

lol

(this is re: juiced balls i take it?)

well, in the absence of other explanations for increased HR likelihood

U know what’s really unexpectedly cool about playing right field? I get to be eye level with the fans sitting on my side. Had some fun roasting a guy yesterday lol

— Dexter Fowler (@DexterFowler) March 15, 2018

Pay your debts https://t.co/jOxGJscA3O

— Noah Syndergaard (@Noahsyndergaard) March 29, 2018

I hear from some of you tweetsters that my Seinfeld episode was on tonight on Pix. That means I’ll get a nice little check. Enough to pay for dinner tomorrow with the boys in DC. GN

— keith Hernandez (@kher8286) April 4, 2018

Ozzie Guillen In A Venezuelan Telenovela pic.twitter.com/xpk2sUbiIA

— Gustavo Vega (@iamvega1982) May 2, 2018

https://i.imgur.com/n5zZ055.png

zach cozart seems really fun

Zack Cozart on the #Rays starting Romo on back-to-back days: “It was weird...it’s bad for baseball, in my opinion...It’s spring training. That’s the best way to explain it.” #Angels

— Fabian Ardaya (@FabianArdaya) May 20, 2018

i have to admit, i had totally forgotten about puig and russell, and thought was A. Gonzalez had long stopped playing

feel like a Guy I Remember fairly often is Wilin Rosario, on account of i thought he was gonna be the next great hitting catcher at one point lol

Bob Melvin said he watches Friends reruns after losses. Seen every episode. So I had to ask: did Ross cheat on Rachel, or were they on a break?

"Don't even get me started on that," he said. "I do have some ideas on that but I'm not going there. That's a loaded question, Steve."

— Steve Berman (@BASportsGuy) July 24, 2021

Ha ha!

Chipper Jones raw dogged every Hooters waitress between Chattanooga and Tampa but scared of the jab? Make it make sense. Still love the guy but the math ain’t math-ing there!

— Everyone Hates Chris (@ckssense) March 12, 2022

loool

https://i.imgur.com/aFvAW3A.jpg

not fair someone should be that good at baseball and that good at twitter

Pour one out for the Rays’ ballboy pic.twitter.com/69fN1dU1mi

— Ben Palmer (@benjpalmer) July 16, 2022

Not baseball per se BUT

pic.twitter.com/KXyqUQEuI9

— meaning machine (@EricThurm) November 2, 2022

as soon as i read the first tweet i knew what the second would be

I'm sure Aaron Judge is reaching for his phone as I type.

Aaron judge I am getting ready for you let's see if you can hit a baseball as far as I can hit a softball I doubt that very much let me know when you're ready we'll do the competition for charity pic.twitter.com/riWXN8Z878

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) January 5, 2023

(Is punctuation considered bad form on Twitter, or is it that you're wasting precious character count? That tweet reminds me of 10,000 student journal entries I marked.)

real ballers don’t need punctuation

the lack of punctuation is just part of what makes him a Tru Poster

It's possible he was influenced by Ulysses.

if you're not for canseco, you are against canseco. and he thrives on competition, so watch out

I TROLLED JOSE CANSECO

His strikeout vs me this year shouldn’t count

— Andrew McCutchen (@TheCUTCH22) September 21, 2023