[1P3 ROCKTOBER] Ask Ned Raggett, ROCKTOBER EDITION

28. Certainly not, because that was prompted by "Ask Abbott," a very fine thread. I am above competition.

29. Why does Longpigs' 1999 masterpiece Mobile Home have a 1.5 star rating on allmusic? :(

A+ attitude

29. I have not heard this album, ergo it does not exist. (Similarly I have never seen George W. Bush in person = he is a consensual fantasy dreamed up by a ruling class.)

30. Ned, should I sleep with my work colleague or my house mate? Both are female AND brunette!!

30. I would say that you would seem to be a prime candidate to ask them to sleep with each other while you watch. You should at least ask them to sign release forms before setting up the webcam, as well as checking your health insurance since your privates might be forcibly removed from you ten seconds after making the suggestion.

31. Why do most men vehemently claim to only like brunettes? Most blondes say its because they don't think they can score with a blonde but that cant be right since we're kind of easy.

31. Men, being confusing but simple creatures, tend to wish to project their insecurities. Also, many have grown up reading Archie comics, as much as they wish to deny it. They therefore have the image that all brunettes, while a bit snobbish, have parents that are filthy rich who they can sponge off of in later life rather than doing any work. Reality defeats them on this front, but they continue to pursue the dream, seeking their own Veronica Lodge. Sadly this eventually leads to the addiction of comic conventions, cosplay, and autoerotic asphyxiation. In providing entertainment to millions with the details of their pathetic deaths via the Darwin Awards, however, they fulfill a function in life that is necessary.

I have perhaps strayed from the original question but no matter.

I would try to score with Sunny if she wasn't married to another member of the wider 1p3 massiv!!

(Not a question but a statement of sorts.)

Acknowledged.

i went ahead and added this thread to the Ned Raggett wikipedia entry.

Too bad she doesn't like Aussie men, pato. Only heterosexuals.

32. What is your singing voice?

a) bass (basso profondo?)
b) baritone
c) tenor
d) countertenor
e) castrato
f) Andi Sexgang
g) other (please specify)

Wikipedia is a resource, this is unquestioned.

Heterosexuals are persons of interest. They might be mythical.

32. My singing voice cannot be described. Indeed, it cannot be abided. People have run screaming. Vile crimes are committed in its presence. Be careful what you wish for with your poll.

Too bad she doesn't like Aussie men, pato. Only heterosexuals.

This is the last time I respect the creed of BROS BEFORE HOES!!

33. Ned, what are your thoughts on BROS BEFORE HOES?

34. And why do you love Radiohead so much? Are you, like, a tard??

33. The question as I see it is this -- a choice between:

http://cache.viewimages.com/xc/57366604.jpg?v=1&c=ViewImages&k=2&d=8D1A55FA4F4B48DB8E25599DB2E5F5CA284831B75F48EF45

Or:

http://cache.viewimages.com/xc/3251105.jpg?v=1&c=ViewImages&k=2&d=12F00EB112845DEC3CBF70A96AEDF84FA55A1E4F32AD3138

Both are worlds of sweaty men and the implements that please them. I have no truck with this.

34. I am not LIKE a tard. I am a tard. Phrase yourself properly next time so others will not laugh at you.

yr second image don't work, TARD!!

ned how would you best describe pato's posting?:

a) zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
b) zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

plz let me know

27. I only care about celery.

-- Ned Raggett, Thursday, October 4, 2007 6:50 PM (1 week ago) Bookmark Link

ned is a wonder pet!!

35

NED--

NED HOWCOME DUNDEDIN HAV COASTLINE

HOWCOME & HOWLONG

WEHRE

Response to the non-numbered question: It is argued that the function of sleep can include 'a dynamic time of healing and growth for organisms' and 'physiological processes of growth and rejuvenation of the organism's immune, nervous, muscular, and skeletal systems.' This being the case one would assume more sleep rather than less is beneficial to the human organism, as befits such a wonderful natural creation, especially when regarded by itself as opposed to numerous other organisms, many of which it kills and eats. We must assume that the second answer is therefore true, since we all seek to improvement the species's betterment by all necessary means.

35. The Otago peninsula, upon which I have rambled and taken photographs and otherwise had reflective experiences, used to be a big-ass volcano. Now some volcanoes are not quite so big-ass, and their relative sizes of bigness and assness must be taken into account -- for this reason primitive peoples worldwide once described volcanoes in terms of lower natural functions, thus the Homeric line described thus:

"...and Odysseus espied the mount of Etna
Farting foul gases into the air
Much like I have done nightly
Having eaten my dolmas too quickly
Pity me, O Muse."

Similarly the Hawaiian islands were once considered 'the zits of the mother ocean,' which led to the injunction not to squeeze them too tightly.

The big-ass Dunedin volcano gave forth its own blast of foul excrudescence some millions of years in the past, causing the disturbed mother ocean, revolted at the smell, to wash over the remains in the hopes that all would eventually be hidden under the waves. This was done, and birds and seals and other creatures flocked to the new coastlines and thrived. Then first the Maori and then the Scots came, and happily killed and ate them in the manner described in the previous answer. Harmonic balance was restored in full, and now the coastline exists for people stuffed with Cadbury samples, fish and chips and generous pints of Monteiths to come down to the water's edge and marvel at it before accidentally drowning.

36. If poop were white would toilet paper be brown?

36. Bird poop is white, so possibly bird toilet paper is brown. Investigating this facet of bird life is something I leave to the experts of bird poop.

37. Is Anderson Cooper hot or what

37. This question has been phrased in a form indicating bias.

He's QUITE hot!

hey i had a really great idea tonite... how about an ASK ROXYMUZAK THREAD!!!!?!?!?!?!!!!

A hijack!

And now I ask a question of you the ip3 audience -- should gr8080 tape an "ASK NED RAGGETT" session for YouTube uploading when I am in Hawaii?

yes!

YES!!!

whaaaat?

YESYESYESYES! When will you be there. We need to compile questions!

I arrive this Thursday and will be there through Tuesday. It's as yet unclear when we'll have a chance to hang out but we will. (Special bonus guests may or may not include my sister and my folks.)

This also serves as a not so subtle hint that gr8080 needs to respond to my last message as well as get me his phone number for when I'm there.

;-)

So file your questions with Grady or here or wherever. Cause I'm here now!

38. What is grady like in person?
39. What is the grossest food that you like?

40. Is gradski's azn boyfriend nice?

LAST CHANCE FOR QUESTIONS

41. Does Ned Raggett smoke weed crack?
42. T/S: Manic Street Preachers vs Gay Dad
43. Why do you fagz on AMG give ***** to Dylan? Dylan is the most boringest thing ever.
44. Bring Back The Biff?
45. Why doesn't your Wikipedia entry mention your brief marriage to Liza Minelli?

46. orange county LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

47. The McGriddle: can it win the war against Iran?

43. Why do you fagz on AMG give ***** to Dylan? Dylan is the most boringest thing ever.

omg finally someone who knows whats up

Questions 38 through 46 were answered last night and will be posted at Grady's leisure.

47. It is still earliesh for me here, as it is 9:25 am after a reasonably late night out with Grady showing my sis and I what is up in Honolulu that isn't endless Waikiki. So I cannot answer as I could. Also, this hotel lobby is playing Coldplay at me. Someone must die. Therefore I can only answer right now: it can, but only if assisted by the pancakes at the late night hotel diner at the Hilton we ended up at after midnight, which were called Mac Daddy Pancakes and included one option that was called 'the Elvis,' where peanut butter and bacon were swirled together in the dough. It is truly a weapon of mass destruction.

38. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-bqxwbCnkU

(What is grady like in person? )^^^^

lollers

sorry the quality sucks. ned makes up for it though.

39. What is the grossest food that you like?