pissing in bottles

not to bring the room down or anything

what's the most bottles you amassed? did they get poured down the sink?

I think I'd empty them at night, in the sink. Milk was one thing but a collection of full pee bottles would have been a little much.

I once peed in a cup while driving on the Long Island Expressway because there was no bathroom in site and I was extremely desperate. Never a bottle though.

My first thought: collecting makes no sense whatsoever unless you're Howard Hughes.

My second thought: Keeping it lighthearted would be gr8 but it's hard to avoid discussing how someone might get into a spiral like "omigod if They see me enter a bathroom and hear me excreting They will know my shameful secret, that I am a human who eats and that I have a body with bodily functions; I just cannot handle that kind of attention/scrutiny right now omigod omigod."

Note that "They" here is a completely irrational nonspecific They. Obviously everyone else in the dorm (or whatever) is completely preoccupied with their own petty neuroses; no one is really ever that interested in scrutinizing someone else's movements (bowel or otherwise). But in someone under a mental cloud such as social anxiety, the wish to disappear and not be observed/noticed can take over and eclipse rational assessments of likelihood.

Just sayin. I am not aware of a lot of people who've amassed collections of pee bottles for light-hearted reasons.

All that said, mostly one would prefer wide-mouth bottles like Snapple or whatever, or at least like a plastic soda bottle. Not standard beer bottles, right? Presuming you had choices?

Longneck beer bottles r very hard to manage, especially in a car - DEFINITELY in a moving car.

the smell of piss in varying states of decay is no longer revolting to you and nobody is going to see the room and you don't really care, which is why there are bottles of piss all over but you realize in a moment of clarity or leaf-turning-over or something like shame that you should tidy up, but the collection has become unmanageable and disposal becomes increasingly difficult, as it involves carting out, furtively, plastic bottles and cans of piss, which may need special handling, if they've been stockpiled in a careless fashion.

did this once while driving back from Athens after a show.

have also done so while living in various living situations w multiple roommates and the bathroom is always in use.

probably did the depression room hermit thing too, a long time ago, and thankfully those days are behind me.

i have done this, when i had a roommate. standard beer/soda bottle is a disaster waiting to happen; you really need like a gatorade or malt liquor bottle with a wide mouth

not sure why you'd keep them -- unless you were living in a frank zappa song -- or dispose of the piss anywhere but in a toilet

good point! important reference material:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=207pbJQNl58

xpost Or use it to refill your waterbed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-DcA0p8Tvnk

i'm sure someone somewhere at some time has peed "meaningfully" into a cigar box. just felt like that needed to be dropped in this thread.

i never peed in bottles but story time

i have an extended uh ... relative? my uncle remarried and it was to this lady that had a son from a previous relationship

anyway her son was a total hillbilly and my cousins once found a large (i'm talking 22oz plus) bottle of pure unadulterated urine in his drawer

apparently he kept it there for a long time

wint ‏@dril 19 Sep 2013
i have been secretly collecting my roommate's piss for 7 years. i dont know what to do with all of these jars of piss. i am extremely scared

there was a particularly gruesome murder of a teenage girl in scotland when i was younger. her boyfriend was convicted of it and despite lots of circumstantial evidence pointing towards him the clincher for me to be convinced of his guilt was that his bedroom was full of bottles of his piss

Thread reminds me of the Neal Stephenson novel where a bunch of characters collect their piss and boil it down to phosphorus for weapons.

in that scenario piss actually has a purpose

"it's okay maww it's only piss bottles. keepin em for looks"

If you were regularly getting drug-tested via unobserved urine samples, getting some piss from like a 9-year-old boy might be smart. Just sayin.

Sounds like someone's been watching too much Withnail & I.

http://cdn3.volusion.com/6qo5y.ub6x4/v/vspfiles/photos/CCIB-2.jpg

'Trucker bombs' litter highways in Utah

Last year, UDOT estimates it removed upwards of 30,000 of these "trucker bombs" from the side of state highways.

I have done this. In May of 2013, the Toronto Maple Leafs were in overtime against the Boston Bruins in the seventh game of a series during which several goals were scored while I left the room to get ice or whatever.

Ten minutes later I had the occasion to pour one out (into the toilet) for my team, chased by blue & white tears.

Dude! I occassionally see piss bottles among the detritus lining streets/sidewalks and I'm (more uncosciously than consciously) like 'wtf'. Now I SEE xp

http://i.bnet.com/blogs/epcor_edmonton_water_usage_flush_olympic_gold_game.jpg

wonder how much of this involved bottles

it is cool to live in a golden era of sanitation. i read a bunch of books on medieval history this year and this point kept coming up. we have become wizards of disposal.

Have you read History of Shit by Laporte?

golden era of showers

In the English translation of the book by Nadia Benabid and Rodolphe el-Khoury in 1993, el-Khoury explains how for Laporte, "the history of shit becomes the history of subjectivity

Will read, thanks Emily!

It doesn't really seem practical for a woman. Maybe I'm wrong and the laydeez of ilx will regale me with bottle-pissing tales? Definitely understand why someone might have to, don't understand why anyone would do it in their bedroom if the toilet's just down the hall and unoccupied.

― emil.y, Thursday, October 20, 2016 8:32 AM (seven hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

In times of need on long car trips, my wife will piss in a dunkin donuts cup or, if unavailable, cut the top off of an empty water bottle using a knife and piss in that. Using the former method, you can just put it in a cup holder until the next rest stop. The latter method, since the bottle cap has been cut off, necessitates emptying the contents out of the window (we do not litter the bottle). It's pretty disgusting, but I guess she's got a small bladder.

Have you read History of Shit by Laporte?

― emil.y, Thursday, October 20, 2016 3:51 PM (twenty-five minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

thanks for the recommendation! i went to Amazon and immediately bought it.

For the ladies...
http://www.backpacker.com/skills/the-complete-guide-to-female-urination-devices/

I voted semi-reg, and noticed that no one has mentioned camping. When camping I used to get up at night, get semi-dressed, go to the toilet and then return to bed. One day I tried pissing in a bottle without leaving the tent, and my life was changed! I bring a laundry detergent bottle with the spout insert pulled out, which gives a wide mouth, large capacity (64 oz I think), and is sealable. I have never looked back.

or you could just put pants on and amble outside and piss on a tree

lifehacks

why put pants on, shoes are good though. personally i couldn't be in a tent with a container of my own piss unless it was sub-30 outside.

which would literally never happen to me because i only go camping once every other summer solstice.

DJ'ing alone while drinking took me there

Cold weather was the main reason, but the convenience is plenty reason now. The bottle seals so it's not like I have a urine potpourri in my tent.

Also a couple times while watching something on TV (live, with no DVR) I've accessed a handy jug.

imo it's time to practice doing this without looking so you can perfect your playstation vr sessions

have pissed into a nalgene d/t camping in real cold weather, into a bottle while in a car and w/o any easy way to just pull over the shoulder (traffic jam), and into a bottle while at an outdoor sporting event where walking to the toilet would've meant a ten minute round trip and missing the action (this was also on live tv)

Also a couple times while watching something on TV (live, with no DVR) I've accessed a handy jug.

― nickn, Thursday, October 20, 2016 4:31 PM

ah, the Brian Eno maneuver

get a jug

tape it to your peter

live free and/or die hard

tape it to your peter

live free and/or die hard

but seriously i've peed in close to icy cold temperatures and i've never needed any bottle

uh yellow snow anyone?

Also a couple times while watching something on TV (live, with no DVR) I've accessed a handy jug.

― nickn, Thursday, October 20, 2016 4:31 PM

ah, the Brian Eno maneuver

― aaaaaaaauuuuuuuuu (melting robot) (WilliamC)

Here comes the warm jet.

golden hours

I think I did this once but can't recall the circumstances.. probably for the best. maybe it was a dream.

Step 1, cut a hole in a jug, Step 2, put your dick in that jug, Step 3, then you pee in that jug

http://allthingsd.com/files/2013/03/timberlake380.jpg

i did this in a dorm room when i was desperately trying to finish a paper and for some reason had to piss like every 15 minutes. they all got emptied later in the day once the paper was done. frappuccino bottles have pretty wide mouths.

TS: pissing in bottles vs. pissing in jeans.

― nickn, Tuesday, October 25, 2016 10:53 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

You may've won this bottle but bet your ass you won't win the wart

well this was a first I didn't expect to add to my repertoire last night

in my defense though I had attempted to piss in the local convenience store which of course had a huge sign over its bathrooms saying "out of order" and none other nearby.

http://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e174/conedust/wattpissbot.jpg

isn't that like the fifth or sixth time that song has been posted itt?

http://www.clevescene.com/scene-and-heard/archives/2017/04/27/theres-an-instagram-account-devoted-to-piss-jugs-in-akron

https://www.instagram.com/akrontruckerbombs/ aka piss jugs in akron

At this point, do you actively search them out? Can you not drive down the road at any given time and not be scoping out every Coke bottle on the side of the street and wondering what's inside?

PJoA: I wouldn't say I actively look for them, they are everywhere. If I see a bottle and it looks suspicious I give it a second look and if it's a piss jug I document it.

pissed in the sand this past weekend

in and on actually haha

hello pissboy in the sand

i once took a shit directly into a fast flowing river from a distance of like 2 inches and watched the jobbie float away downstream

just fyi

guy who used to live in my old neighborhood would, while laying in the park at night, flip over to face the opposite direction to people and take a piss, then zip up and flip back over.

bizarrely he appears on the cover of this elton john album:

http://cps-static.rovicorp.com/3/JPG_500/MI0003/641/MI0003641854.jpg

feel like la lechera needs to see this latest revive but am not really comfortable saying 'you should check out the piss bottle thread'

Is this place at my command

Hello pissboy in the dust
Is your bladder about to bust.

Standing on a beach with my junk in my hand, staring at the sea, staring at the sand. I am the pisser.

Jim rivershitting is the high point of this thread imo

When you spend a lot of time outdoors away from buildings and roads, you inescapably will piss in nature when you need to piss. But then, all of nature pisses in nature. It's normal. Piss bottles are a whole 'nother thing entirely.

better late than never

http://www.businessinsider.com/amazon-warehouse-workers-have-to-pee-into-bottles-2018-4