I Lost A Coughdrop in His Asshole: The ILX Gays TMI Thread

i didn't know anyone to shock, except for my mother who screeched at me

i really have no clue how much i pass or not, i feel pretty gay on the inside and love it

and you all rock btw, even dr morbius, who obv needs some help ilx is not giving him

hello my beautiful gaywads

it's been 6 weeks since my boyfriend's mom died and he's been depressed for months prior to that. we haven't been kicking it very often lately, which is understandable. i've not played outside the relationship either since then because i know it's been a tough time for him, but i'm feeling pretty frustrated.

anyhow he's out of town for the next couple days and i'm not sure what i want to do about it.

a friend with benefits? porn, dildo, weed, poppers?

i have... all those things.

naked macrame bacchanal?

i guess more broadly i'm just not sure how to navigate the intersection of an open relationship, mental illness, and grief. it feels like my identity as & obligation to be a loving and supportive partner leads to this self-sacrificing behavior where i just go without sex, sometimes for weeks, because it feels selfish under the circumstances to assert myself & my appetites.

like I don't know how to broach the subject because I worry it's just going to sound like "okay your mom's dead & you're depressed but i still need to nut"

although my boyfriend is going to starting an antidepressant shortly, so the situation is either going to get better if his mood stabilizes or get worse because of side effects

anyway, sorry to kvetch on the sexxxy thread!

it's a def a weird situation... i wish i had some sort of answer. i think you should bring it up tho or else it's going to drive you crazy and the sublimated resentment will prob make the situation worse? i think if you make it very clear that you're willing to close the relationship until he feels comfortable opening back it up that you guys could at least have a discussion about it.

part of the dynamic is on me for sure, i didn't decide that i wouldn't mess around with other dudes because of a conversation we had but because i felt it was the considerate thing to do during this time. so i guess what i'm really contending with is giving myself permission to ~enjoy pleasure~ when it feels kinda scummy and shameful and inconsiderate -- even though i know that none of that is necessarily true

i'm curious why you would think it inappropriate to keep pursuing side interests in an open relationship in these circumstances. i mean it makes sense to me that maybe you wouldn't be in the mood to have nsa sex when your boyfriend is dealing with grief and added depression. on the other hand i think you can make a case that it would be inconsiderate to him not to give yourself access to pleasure and fun -- you're in support mode and you need an outlet -- and also, outside of your felt obligations, it's something you deserve on its own.

sounding - A+++
piss play - roughly A need more info
rim chair - A- a little corny tbh
shoving fingers down throat - A

a spooktacular weekend with nothing below a 9

oh yeah, ghb was fun but i wouldn't want to make a habit out of it

E and i had our first foursome with a really cute couple -- we hit it off amazingly and are planning a hike next saturday :D

map good lord

yeah awesome

<3

I feel like it was a mistake to do a checklist like that when really the whole weekend was transporting and it's hard to describe and I'm falling for this guy who seems to be falling for me too. The weird thing was we tried all these piggy things together but it felt super safe. The sounding was really really really hot, like seeing white lights with your eyes closed hot.

clouds your foursome hiking crew sounds super fun.

Reading anything about sounding is literally TMI for me.

Carry on, please; that's what the thread's here for--just know that I'll be sitting here crossing my legs.

this guy just fucking came out of nowhere and now i feel like i'm sprouting or shedding old skin or something.

xp lol

also i got a new fb friend, this gorgeous black-jamaican model with a seventh day adventist upbringing, by calling him 'unfailingly polite'. he was expertly fielding advances from an annoying af son of an R-Ohio congressman who honestly just needed a spanking but wasn't appealing enough even for that. i could have a lot of gay friends in town if i just moved towns. salt lake city feels like a soiled crib to me right now. which reminds me, the guy i was with this weekendpissed on his mattress and we bought a steam cleaner from target for it and it took three days to dry out. i also peed in a glass and threw it on him while he was in the tub like surprise!

still gotta sing tlc's waterfalls for like two minutes to get the yellow tho ;_;

home alone and bored once, i tried sounding with the wooden end of a paintbrush. i get it.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

not sorry (^ ^)v

sounding is fucking terrifying to me, y'all are brave

why does it have such an innocuous name

lol

during a frenzied bout of drunk sex last weekend i hurt my boyfriend's butt real bad, he's still in discomfort. i'm not sure exactly what i did but it involves (whispers) hemorrhoids. he's going to the doctor about it so i feel pretty beastly and horrible.

in exchange, he gave me a big, angry-looking hickey.

oh ouch

the hickey is pretty hot though

i have a fissure from years ago that never really healed. i finally have a gp i gotta see about it. before i fly out to dc again over thanksgiving XD XD XD

his hemorrhoids are one of several persistent factors that conspire to make anal sex more or less impossible for us, i hate them

ugh that sucks. does sitting on it help? i feel like that's the gentlest way. let's be honest, anal is a bit of a war zone and the scars / ptsd are real.

of course my gp's next available appointment is january 3rd. wtf?

yeah he does have ptsd from a history of childhood abuse and then there's the question of, uh, fit.

i mean it's not a threat to our relationship after 9 years together but i know he'd like to, i'd like to, we just... can't.

yeah i hear you. is that one of the reasons why you guys opened it up?

not particularly, though i have enjoyed the new freedoms

Inspecting with a frown the makeup aisle at Target for covering cream to take care of a hickey while surrounded by young girls + their moms was one of last spring's best experiences.

hahaha

damn y'all

i don't think i'm cut out for sounding considering how irritating i find it when like, a stray pube gets stuck in there

also i didn't know rim-chairs were a thing! seems like kind of an investment for a v. specific purpose (one site has them for $150-170)

one of my worst hookups ever involved him giving me a hickey so i'm sort of pre-disposed to disliking them

i've had a WS-in-bed experience - my stream was kinda watery so the clean-up wasn't too bad

it's getting serious. there is a very abnormally close and comfortable connection happening, and i can see it working over time. i want to be there for it. i'm probably moving in the next three months. i'm really stoked.

My ex-lover in a particularly abusive convo among many abusive convos told me "you're a lousy bottom" so I've been practicing on my own and it's been a real eureka

Also, I was urged by a friend to "date normal people for once in your life" and so I went on two dates with a very normal man, and toward the end of the second date we agreed that there was no attraction between us but that it was nice to have a new friend!

On election night he told me that I was actually one of his closest friends now (less a result of quantity of time spent together and more the level of friend-rapport we have) and I was touched. I told him I didn't want to wake up alone in TrumpLand and he enthusiastically agreed to stay over and we had sex that was a. extremely good and b. free of emotional fraughtitude. Didn't know this was a thing that could happen, that sex could have all the romance of a game of squash but still be terrific.

"Sex with all the romance of reading The New Yorker" is my life.

omg omg fgti welcome to this new and magnificent world

that sex could have all the romance of a game of squash but still be terrific.

oh-yeah.gif

but romance tho. guys. i gave two weeks notice at my job yesterday. i'm buying a one-way ticket to d.c.