2016 lurking clowns epidemic

If there's no thread about masks can we remedy that stat?

Last week I was listening to AM radio and I thought I hadn't woken up yet when the news reporter said, "police are at a loss due to multiple sightings of clowns lurking about near wooded areas!" I kept thinking there's no way I just heard that.

Ha this current wave of clown sightings started in Greenville, SC where I live.

Kind of amazing to watch this metastasize from a goofy local panic into a full blown national hysteria.

Why can't clown just stand near the woods? Do they have to lurk?

what if all this is just viral marketing for the New IT movie?

man

can't we just have this

It makes me wonder if there's a long-standing culture of people doing this as a sort of practical joke and it's only now being reported. Or is it just that the idea of being 'a creepy clown' is a go to act for people who want to freak other people out?

“You can’t charge someone for carrying a machete,” DeFoor said. “And there’s nothing illegal about wearing a clown costume, or on Halloween we’d be arresting thousands of people.”

Meanwhile, an 11-year-old girl was arrested in Athens, Georgia, for bringing a knife to school

Imagine walking around a deserted area and noticing a clown looking at you from the shadows

Smith issued a statement Wednesday after he received numerous calls and texts about four men dressed as clowns who were riding in a car last weekend on West Merriman Avenue in Wynne. The clowns, he said, were "bloody-faced" and "scary."

"I'm not talking about the Bozos or the Ronald McDonald clowns," Smith said. "They're OK. It's the evil, scary clowns who have the intent to scare and harass people."

Smith isn't joking. He said he will arrest those bedecked in the "non-family-style" clown outfits, take them to the sheriff's office in Wynne and charge them with harassment or disorderly conduct.

"By no means do I want to impede anyone's effort for doing something like holding a clown party or to dress up for Halloween," the sheriff said. "But to do it to cause fear in the general public won't be tolerated."

City of Wynne a lot more tolerant than I've given it credit for.

He said he will arrest those bedecked in the "non-family-style" clown outfits, take them to the sheriff's office in Wynne and charge them with harassment or disorderly conduct.

the good news is that police can minimise the impact on public funds by squeezing up to 15 clowns in one cop car

this is all probably just catfishing gone wrong

Ooooorrrrrr ..... it's a bunch of killer evil clowns. I mean, who really wants to take the chance?

Someone should bring this to Trump's attention, asap.

http://ht.ly/xO7Q304y9TF

“This is a growing problem across the commonwealth. Please do NOT engage in this illegal behavior. Dressing as a clown and approaching people can result in someone getting seriously hurt. I strongly recommend not to engage in this behavior and want everyone to be aware of the Va. law which prohibits this behavior,” said Sheriff Donald Smith.

keep thinking this is a thread about ILM

i think the Green Bay WI one was the original, but huh:
http://wbay.com/2016/08/05/gags-the-green-bay-clown-exposed/

*clown menace*

one of my first ILE threads. i had no idea what the future would hold!

What's A Bigger Cliche: "I Hate Mimes!" Or "I'm Scared Of Clowns!"

I hate clowns almost as much as I hate mimes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O52mNrTjYTE

is it illegal to hit a clown with your car

if you do and it hurts your car, the clown has to pay, right?

2016 lurking clowns in bars epidemic

Gags the (Green Bay) Clown interviewed: https://soundcloud.com/maxatkruz/gags-interview-with-director-adam

"I'm not talking about the Bozos or the Ronald McDonald clowns," Smith said. "They're OK. It's the evil, scary clowns who have the intent to scare and harass people."

#notallclowns

so is this the new politics thread or what

hur hur

We should have an ilx gathering where we all go to a bar as clowns

fuck no

my wife's sister is attending Puddles Pity Party tonight and if you didn't know what that is, it's this

https://vimeo.com/108635845

A clowny clown clown

for some reason i find puddles surprisingly unobjectionable

He's a talented singer I guess. I just don't have time for clowns in any way shape or form. They're baconed as fuck.

it really is an epidemic

http://registerguard.com/rg/news/local/34862208-75/reports-of-creepy-clowns-appear-in-eugene-springfield-area-prompting-warnings-from-law-enforcement.html.csp

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2016/10/05/scary-clowns-spread-white-house-weighs-in-on-creeps-and-stephen-king-defends-the-good-ones/

Also on Tuesday, creepy clowns were invoked at the White House. During a news conference, a Bloomberg reporter asked White House press secretary Josh Earnest if President Obama was aware of the clown reports and associated arrests. Earnest said he did not know if the president had been briefed on creepy clowns, and deferring to the FBI and Department of Homeland Security on the jester specifics.

imo, this is all part of the larger Trump phenomenon.

From pirates to zombies to creepy clowns.

our school district sent out an email yesterday telling parents that they were dealing with creepy clown threats, but they're pretty sure they're hoaxes. my daughter hasn't reported any creepy clowns.

Great, now my middle school daughter actually *has* brought up creepy clowns. Is there a helpful article I can show her addressing this as a non-issue?

the problem with clowns, vs the boogeyman or slenderman for example, is that they're real

feel like large cities will have less of a problem with this than rural communities. more wackos per capita

I basically told her that there are plenty of people in this country who are dangerous, and the vast majority of them are not dressed like clowns. I told her they are a much bigger problem, so no use worrying about clowns. At least you can see them coming!

Also, clowns are 'real' only in the sense that anybody in a costume is real. People dressed as skeletons, or vampires or werewolves are real too. But also totally not real.

A skeleton is inside everyone
Werewolves and vampires are fictional creatures with certain physical aspects people emulate

As far as I know clowns are not mythical creatures, they are literally people wearing exaggerated clothing and face paint with wigs. If you dress like that, you're not dressing to emulate some fictional creature, you are an actual clown

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZ3IcBhur50

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uncanny_valley#

http://ebayclowns.tumblr.com/post/151250662572/is-there-a-word-for-people-who-really-like-clowns

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1S8poOaSlGc

Cl(o)w(ntology)

thish ontology of clownsh

Clown riot at Penn State

http://heavy.com/news/2016/10/creepy-clowns-penn-state-riot-lock-down-campus-college-threatening-video-pennsylvania/

God damn cock blocking link.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJggcFYhiu4

http://www.youtube.com/ODqj9Mq39FM

Ugh. Stupid phone messing up my stupid jokes. Anyway, someone can pretend they just heard a Barbra Streisand song about clowns, and also an Elvis Costello song about clowns.

nah i'm good

How to talk to your kids about scary clowns

I am going to dress up like a clown, sneak into my kid's room at night, wake them up and say hey, it's just me, your dad, no reason to be scared of clowns.

I'm scary how? I mean, scary like I'm a clown, I alarm you? I make you scream, I'm here to fuckin' alarm you? What do you mean scary, scary how? How am I scary?

from some moron at my kids' school today:

Good afternoon Families,

Several of our schools have heard from concerned parents who said their students are talking about clowns committing potential acts of violence. Threats have been posted on Instagram and other social media platforms. Over the past few weeks, several have gone so far as to reference specific schools in Fulton County.

We are aware that some other school districts in metro Atlanta have received similar reports. Similar threats have also been made in recent weeks to schools around the country. Please know that in the majority of instances across the nation, these rumors have been deemed a hoax or a prank. While we believe the messages to be hoaxes, we will nonetheless take any threat towards our students and staff seriously and have been extra-vigilant.

We wanted parents to be aware that the Fulton County Schools Police Department is working with local authorities to investigate these reports to assess their validity. Please know that student safety is our number one priority.

If you have any questions or concerns, please do not hesitate to call your principal.

Thank you for your support and partnership in keeping our students safe.

The fact that any administrator took the time to write and distribute that explains a lot of things that are shit-sideways.

important map: http://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/the-definitive-map-of-americas-creepy-clown-epidemic

When a clown meets a clown comin' through the rye

The Florida school district locked down S.S. Seward Institute for a time Tuesday after a report that there was a clown at the school...

http://www.recordonline.com/news/20161004/local-school-locked-down-after-reports-of-clown-inside-school

A mob of Pennsylvania college students set out to hunt clowns early Tuesday after rumors spread that one was on the loose near campus.

http://time.com/4517709/penn-state-clown-hunt/

The Florida school district locked down S.S. Seward Institute for a time Tuesday after a report that there was a clown at the school...

http://www.recordonline.com/news/20161004/local-school-locked-down-after-reports-of-clown-inside-school

― scott seward, Thursday, October 6, 2016 3:22 PM (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i was so confused on this being Florida, Orange County, in New York state, I had to look it up :-)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Florida,_Orange_County,_New_York

I wish it were the Scott Seward Institute.

"the clowns are menacing from inside the institute"

institute-toot

Wherever there's a clown menacin' a guy, I'll be there.

http://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/1028/7399/products/170932_grande.jpeg?v=1445388342

is floppy boot stomp surging on Spotify yet

http://mashable.com/2016/10/12/batman-creepy-clowns-uk/#CieVpu7nqqqo

Yeah, this is quite tiresome already. There was a report of a guy dressed as a clown chasing a young child in a park near me in Lewisham this week. I think I might have seen him as well. I saw a guy on a motorbike with a mask on. The thing none of these reports really say is how far these guys are invested in their whole clown thing. Did the clown in the report just wear normal clothes and a clown mask like I think I saw. Cos that's just a bit rubbish really.

i'm telling you guys, it makes me feel weirded out because SHARK ATTACKS seemed ever-present and unavoidable for a week just over fifteen years ago. constant rotation on cable news, a handful of think pieces, and now it seems like nothing because September eleventh rolled around that year and no one talked about sharks

what if the clowns are a goddamn harbinger

This happened around here in the 80s too. It's actually sociologically interesting

sharks, Satanic preschool teachers, happy slapping, anti-gingerism, killer clowns, gang member initiations, it's always something

Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right...

Funny story. A friend was hosting a sleepover for her young son and a few friends. No one was sleeping, so she decided, fine, I'll take them to the park at 11:30pm to run around with flashlights until they get tired. That lasted three minutes before they ran back, scared, saying they'd seen a bunch of clowns. Fine, bad idea, she thought, and took them home.

The next day she found out from her older kid that yeah, there were a bunch of clowns that night! Apparently upperclass high school kids scaring some freshmen party in the park or something.

we've reached the thinkpiece stage:

http://www.nytimes.com/2016/10/16/opinion/sunday/what-do-the-scary-clowns-want.html?_r=0