SWAT Team Leader: "OK team, I want you all to be careful. This clown is armed."SWAT Team Member: "What with? Pistol? Shotgun?"SWAT Team Leader: "No. A bucket of confetti and..." *BITES LIP AND CLOSES EYES IN AN ATTEMPT TO CONTROL TEARS* "...an old-timey car horn."
― here we are now entertain us (snoball), Sunday, 25 September 2016 17:27 (seven years ago) link
TBF, this is pretty fucked up:
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CtDA7C-XEAAYqUN.jpg
― Josh in Chicago, Sunday, 25 September 2016 18:37 (seven years ago) link
If there's no thread about masks can we remedy that stat?
― calstars, Sunday, 25 September 2016 19:06 (seven years ago) link
Last week I was listening to AM radio and I thought I hadn't woken up yet when the news reporter said, "police are at a loss due to multiple sightings of clowns lurking about near wooded areas!" I kept thinking there's no way I just heard that.
― JacobSanders, Sunday, 25 September 2016 19:43 (seven years ago) link
Ha this current wave of clown sightings started in Greenville, SC where I live.
Kind of amazing to watch this metastasize from a goofy local panic into a full blown national hysteria.
― Rob Boss (latebloomer), Sunday, 25 September 2016 19:55 (seven years ago) link
Why can't clown just stand near the woods? Do they have to lurk?
― JacobSanders, Sunday, 25 September 2016 19:59 (seven years ago) link
what if all this is just viral marketing for the New IT movie?
― Frobisher, Sunday, 25 September 2016 21:03 (seven years ago) link
man
― j., Sunday, 25 September 2016 21:17 (seven years ago) link
can't we just have this
It makes me wonder if there's a long-standing culture of people doing this as a sort of practical joke and it's only now being reported. Or is it just that the idea of being 'a creepy clown' is a go to act for people who want to freak other people out?
― Never changed username before (cardamon), Sunday, 25 September 2016 22:58 (seven years ago) link
“You can’t charge someone for carrying a machete,” DeFoor said. “And there’s nothing illegal about wearing a clown costume, or on Halloween we’d be arresting thousands of people.”
― pplains, Monday, 26 September 2016 01:15 (seven years ago) link
Meanwhile, an 11-year-old girl was arrested in Athens, Georgia, for bringing a knife to school
― Sharia Laws and Lambchop (The Yellow Kid), Monday, 26 September 2016 01:46 (seven years ago) link
Imagine walking around a deserted area and noticing a clown looking at you from the shadows
― calstars, Monday, 26 September 2016 01:46 (seven years ago) link
Smith issued a statement Wednesday after he received numerous calls and texts about four men dressed as clowns who were riding in a car last weekend on West Merriman Avenue in Wynne. The clowns, he said, were "bloody-faced" and "scary."
"I'm not talking about the Bozos or the Ronald McDonald clowns," Smith said. "They're OK. It's the evil, scary clowns who have the intent to scare and harass people."
Smith isn't joking. He said he will arrest those bedecked in the "non-family-style" clown outfits, take them to the sheriff's office in Wynne and charge them with harassment or disorderly conduct.
"By no means do I want to impede anyone's effort for doing something like holding a clown party or to dress up for Halloween," the sheriff said. "But to do it to cause fear in the general public won't be tolerated."
City of Wynne a lot more tolerant than I've given it credit for.
― pplains, Thursday, 29 September 2016 13:27 (seven years ago) link
He said he will arrest those bedecked in the "non-family-style" clown outfits, take them to the sheriff's office in Wynne and charge them with harassment or disorderly conduct.
the good news is that police can minimise the impact on public funds by squeezing up to 15 clowns in one cop car
― the devastation is very important to me (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 29 September 2016 13:52 (seven years ago) link
this is all probably just catfishing gone wrong
― PappaWheelie V, Thursday, 29 September 2016 13:57 (seven years ago) link
Ooooorrrrrr ..... it's a bunch of killer evil clowns. I mean, who really wants to take the chance?
Someone should bring this to Trump's attention, asap.
― Josh in Chicago, Thursday, 29 September 2016 14:05 (seven years ago) link
http://ht.ly/xO7Q304y9TF
“This is a growing problem across the commonwealth. Please do NOT engage in this illegal behavior. Dressing as a clown and approaching people can result in someone getting seriously hurt. I strongly recommend not to engage in this behavior and want everyone to be aware of the Va. law which prohibits this behavior,” said Sheriff Donald Smith.
― sleeve, Thursday, 29 September 2016 14:21 (seven years ago) link
keep thinking this is a thread about ILM
― i bill everything i duck (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 29 September 2016 16:38 (seven years ago) link
i think the Green Bay WI one was the original, but huh:http://wbay.com/2016/08/05/gags-the-green-bay-clown-exposed/
― sam jax sax jam (Jordan), Thursday, 29 September 2016 16:50 (seven years ago) link
*clown menace*
― (rocketcat) 🚀🐱 👑🐟 (kingfish), Thursday, 29 September 2016 18:09 (seven years ago) link
one of my first ILE threads. i had no idea what the future would hold!
What's A Bigger Cliche: "I Hate Mimes!" Or "I'm Scared Of Clowns!"
― scott seward, Thursday, 29 September 2016 18:13 (seven years ago) link
I hate clowns almost as much as I hate mimes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O52mNrTjYTE
― how's life, Thursday, 29 September 2016 18:24 (seven years ago) link
is it illegal to hit a clown with your car
if you do and it hurts your car, the clown has to pay, right?
― dr. mercurio arboria (mh 😏), Thursday, 29 September 2016 18:27 (seven years ago) link
2016 lurking clowns in bars epidemic
― calstars, Thursday, 29 September 2016 19:06 (seven years ago) link
Gags the (Green Bay) Clown interviewed: https://soundcloud.com/maxatkruz/gags-interview-with-director-adam
― PappaWheelie V, Friday, 30 September 2016 22:00 (seven years ago) link
#notallclowns
― florence foster wallace (difficult listening hour), Friday, 30 September 2016 22:19 (seven years ago) link
so is this the new politics thread or what
hur hur
― carthago delenda est (mayor jingleberries), Friday, 30 September 2016 22:46 (seven years ago) link
We should have an ilx gathering where we all go to a bar as clowns
― calstars, Friday, 30 September 2016 22:59 (seven years ago) link
fuck no
― dr. mercurio arboria (mh 😏), Friday, 30 September 2016 23:24 (seven years ago) link
my wife's sister is attending Puddles Pity Party tonight and if you didn't know what that is, it's this
https://vimeo.com/108635845
― how's life, Saturday, 1 October 2016 01:06 (seven years ago) link
A clowny clown clown
― I wish you could see my home. It's... it's so... exciting (Jon not Jon), Saturday, 1 October 2016 01:06 (seven years ago) link
for some reason i find puddles surprisingly unobjectionable
― dr. mercurio arboria (mh 😏), Saturday, 1 October 2016 17:56 (seven years ago) link
He's a talented singer I guess. I just don't have time for clowns in any way shape or form. They're baconed as fuck.
― how's life, Saturday, 1 October 2016 18:20 (seven years ago) link
it really is an epidemic
http://registerguard.com/rg/news/local/34862208-75/reports-of-creepy-clowns-appear-in-eugene-springfield-area-prompting-warnings-from-law-enforcement.html.csp
― sleeve, Wednesday, 5 October 2016 16:56 (seven years ago) link
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2016/10/05/scary-clowns-spread-white-house-weighs-in-on-creeps-and-stephen-king-defends-the-good-ones/
Also on Tuesday, creepy clowns were invoked at the White House. During a news conference, a Bloomberg reporter asked White House press secretary Josh Earnest if President Obama was aware of the clown reports and associated arrests. Earnest said he did not know if the president had been briefed on creepy clowns, and deferring to the FBI and Department of Homeland Security on the jester specifics.
― jmm, Wednesday, 5 October 2016 17:13 (seven years ago) link
imo, this is all part of the larger Trump phenomenon.
― a little too mature to be cute (Aimless), Wednesday, 5 October 2016 17:28 (seven years ago) link
From pirates to zombies to creepy clowns.
― pplains, Wednesday, 5 October 2016 17:46 (seven years ago) link
our school district sent out an email yesterday telling parents that they were dealing with creepy clown threats, but they're pretty sure they're hoaxes. my daughter hasn't reported any creepy clowns.
― wmlynch, Wednesday, 5 October 2016 18:59 (seven years ago) link
Great, now my middle school daughter actually *has* brought up creepy clowns. Is there a helpful article I can show her addressing this as a non-issue?
― Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 5 October 2016 21:16 (seven years ago) link
the problem with clowns, vs the boogeyman or slenderman for example, is that they're real
― calstars, Wednesday, 5 October 2016 21:27 (seven years ago) link
feel like large cities will have less of a problem with this than rural communities. more wackos per capita
― calstars, Wednesday, 5 October 2016 21:28 (seven years ago) link
I basically told her that there are plenty of people in this country who are dangerous, and the vast majority of them are not dressed like clowns. I told her they are a much bigger problem, so no use worrying about clowns. At least you can see them coming!
― Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 5 October 2016 21:51 (seven years ago) link
Also, clowns are 'real' only in the sense that anybody in a costume is real. People dressed as skeletons, or vampires or werewolves are real too. But also totally not real.
― Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 5 October 2016 21:52 (seven years ago) link
A skeleton is inside everyoneWerewolves and vampires are fictional creatures with certain physical aspects people emulate
As far as I know clowns are not mythical creatures, they are literally people wearing exaggerated clothing and face paint with wigs. If you dress like that, you're not dressing to emulate some fictional creature, you are an actual clown
― dr. mercurio arboria (mh 😏), Wednesday, 5 October 2016 21:55 (seven years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZ3IcBhur50
― PappaWheelie V, Wednesday, 5 October 2016 21:57 (seven years ago) link
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uncanny_valley#
― calstars, Wednesday, 5 October 2016 22:07 (seven years ago) link
http://ebayclowns.tumblr.com/post/151250662572/is-there-a-word-for-people-who-really-like-clowns
― 1staethyr, Wednesday, 5 October 2016 22:35 (seven years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1S8poOaSlGc
― PappaWheelie V, Wednesday, 5 October 2016 23:14 (seven years ago) link
Cl(o)w(ntology)
― Treeship, Wednesday, 5 October 2016 23:20 (seven years ago) link
"w" is a vowel
my fav DC Talk jam
― Neanderthal, Thursday, 6 October 2016 15:44 (seven years ago) link
https://youtu.be/a21DTmOP9Yw
― Josh in Chicago, Thursday, 6 October 2016 16:08 (seven years ago) link
God damn cock blocking link.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJggcFYhiu4
― Οὖτις, Thursday, 6 October 2016 16:09 (seven years ago) link
http://www.youtube.com/ODqj9Mq39FM
― Josh in Chicago, Thursday, 6 October 2016 16:11 (seven years ago) link
Ugh. Stupid phone messing up my stupid jokes. Anyway, someone can pretend they just heard a Barbra Streisand song about clowns, and also an Elvis Costello song about clowns.
― Josh in Chicago, Thursday, 6 October 2016 16:12 (seven years ago) link
nah i'm good
― Neanderthal, Thursday, 6 October 2016 16:15 (seven years ago) link
How to talk to your kids about scary clowns
― sleeve, Thursday, 6 October 2016 16:25 (seven years ago) link
I am going to dress up like a clown, sneak into my kid's room at night, wake them up and say hey, it's just me, your dad, no reason to be scared of clowns.
― Josh in Chicago, Thursday, 6 October 2016 16:28 (seven years ago) link
I'm scary how? I mean, scary like I'm a clown, I alarm you? I make you scream, I'm here to fuckin' alarm you? What do you mean scary, scary how? How am I scary?
― pplains, Thursday, 6 October 2016 17:07 (seven years ago) link
from some moron at my kids' school today:
Good afternoon Families,
Several of our schools have heard from concerned parents who said their students are talking about clowns committing potential acts of violence. Threats have been posted on Instagram and other social media platforms. Over the past few weeks, several have gone so far as to reference specific schools in Fulton County.
We are aware that some other school districts in metro Atlanta have received similar reports. Similar threats have also been made in recent weeks to schools around the country. Please know that in the majority of instances across the nation, these rumors have been deemed a hoax or a prank. While we believe the messages to be hoaxes, we will nonetheless take any threat towards our students and staff seriously and have been extra-vigilant.
We wanted parents to be aware that the Fulton County Schools Police Department is working with local authorities to investigate these reports to assess their validity. Please know that student safety is our number one priority.
If you have any questions or concerns, please do not hesitate to call your principal.
Thank you for your support and partnership in keeping our students safe.
― Brevs Mekis (dandydonweiner), Thursday, 6 October 2016 18:10 (seven years ago) link
The fact that any administrator took the time to write and distribute that explains a lot of things that are shit-sideways.
― Brevs Mekis (dandydonweiner), Thursday, 6 October 2016 18:11 (seven years ago) link
important map: http://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/the-definitive-map-of-americas-creepy-clown-epidemic
― mookieproof, Thursday, 6 October 2016 18:30 (seven years ago) link
When a clown meets a clown comin' through the rye
― calstars, Thursday, 6 October 2016 19:11 (seven years ago) link
The Florida school district locked down S.S. Seward Institute for a time Tuesday after a report that there was a clown at the school...
http://www.recordonline.com/news/20161004/local-school-locked-down-after-reports-of-clown-inside-school
― scott seward, Thursday, 6 October 2016 19:22 (seven years ago) link
A mob of Pennsylvania college students set out to hunt clowns early Tuesday after rumors spread that one was on the loose near campus.
http://time.com/4517709/penn-state-clown-hunt/
― scott seward, Thursday, 6 October 2016 19:24 (seven years ago) link
― scott seward, Thursday, October 6, 2016 3:22 PM (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
i was so confused on this being Florida, Orange County, in New York state, I had to look it up :-)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Florida,_Orange_County,_New_York
― PappaWheelie V, Thursday, 6 October 2016 20:24 (seven years ago) link
I wish it were the Scott Seward Institute.
― tokyo rosemary, Thursday, 6 October 2016 20:26 (seven years ago) link
"the clowns are menacing from inside the institute"
― mark s, Thursday, 6 October 2016 20:34 (seven years ago) link
institute-toot
― PappaWheelie V, Thursday, 6 October 2016 20:34 (seven years ago) link
Wherever there's a clown menacin' a guy, I'll be there.
― brownie, Thursday, 6 October 2016 20:48 (seven years ago) link
http://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/1028/7399/products/170932_grande.jpeg?v=1445388342
― PappaWheelie V, Thursday, 6 October 2016 20:57 (seven years ago) link
is floppy boot stomp surging on Spotify yet
― look at the morning people (Jon not Jon), Thursday, 6 October 2016 21:05 (seven years ago) link
http://mashable.com/2016/10/12/batman-creepy-clowns-uk/#CieVpu7nqqqo
― how's life, Thursday, 13 October 2016 16:35 (seven years ago) link
Yeah, this is quite tiresome already. There was a report of a guy dressed as a clown chasing a young child in a park near me in Lewisham this week. I think I might have seen him as well. I saw a guy on a motorbike with a mask on. The thing none of these reports really say is how far these guys are invested in their whole clown thing. Did the clown in the report just wear normal clothes and a clown mask like I think I saw. Cos that's just a bit rubbish really.
― kraudive, Thursday, 13 October 2016 23:40 (seven years ago) link
i'm telling you guys, it makes me feel weirded out because SHARK ATTACKS seemed ever-present and unavoidable for a week just over fifteen years ago. constant rotation on cable news, a handful of think pieces, and now it seems like nothing because September eleventh rolled around that year and no one talked about sharks
what if the clowns are a goddamn harbinger
― mh 😏, Friday, 14 October 2016 03:50 (seven years ago) link
This happened around here in the 80s too. It's actually sociologically interesting
― punksishippies, Friday, 14 October 2016 05:43 (seven years ago) link
sharks, Satanic preschool teachers, happy slapping, anti-gingerism, killer clowns, gang member initiations, it's always something
― Lawsonomy Domine (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Monday, 17 October 2016 04:41 (seven years ago) link
Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right...
― earlnash, Monday, 17 October 2016 05:04 (seven years ago) link
Funny story. A friend was hosting a sleepover for her young son and a few friends. No one was sleeping, so she decided, fine, I'll take them to the park at 11:30pm to run around with flashlights until they get tired. That lasted three minutes before they ran back, scared, saying they'd seen a bunch of clowns. Fine, bad idea, she thought, and took them home.
The next day she found out from her older kid that yeah, there were a bunch of clowns that night! Apparently upperclass high school kids scaring some freshmen party in the park or something.
― Josh in Chicago, Monday, 17 October 2016 05:07 (seven years ago) link
we've reached the thinkpiece stage:
http://www.nytimes.com/2016/10/16/opinion/sunday/what-do-the-scary-clowns-want.html?_r=0
― sleeve, Monday, 17 October 2016 14:16 (seven years ago) link