I mean he's not a bad footballer for 330k a week, he's a bad footballer for a tenth of that. Throw in a political inability to reflect his performances and condition by putting him on unpaid leave until he chokes on big macs and it's a laughable situation
― poor fiddy-less albion (darraghmac), Sunday, 18 September 2016 17:23 (seven years ago) link
https://streamable.com/i6up
― Ireland's Industry (that is what we are) (Nasty, Brutish & Short), Sunday, 18 September 2016 17:28 (seven years ago) link
weekly twp compilations are the season's best new development
― r|t|c, Sunday, 18 September 2016 17:33 (seven years ago) link
Just came here to post that same clip.
― Le Bateau Ivre, Sunday, 18 September 2016 18:28 (seven years ago) link
brilliant.
and yet Mourinho, not exactly noted for his patience with players who don't pull their weight, keeps picking him
― you can't drowned a duck (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 18 September 2016 19:01 (seven years ago) link
The Pogba thing is just bizarre - it seemed so obvious that Mourinho was going to use him in a Lampard kind of role but he seems to be behind Fellaini a lot of the time. The whole team feels bent out of shape in an effort to fit Rooney in and the result is that it just doesn't function properly.
They're still at least two defenders and a proper holding midfielder away from the title even without Rooney.
― Matt DC, Sunday, 18 September 2016 19:02 (seven years ago) link
There's a lot of "Mourinho needs time" guff going around, which conveniently overlooks the fact that he's never needed time before.
― Matt DC, Sunday, 18 September 2016 19:10 (seven years ago) link
What I find really strange is that the team looked like a bunch of people who didn't really know where they were supposed to be playing or what they were supposed to be doing, which to a large extent has to be the result of the instructions they were given. And the substitutions were wank, which again suggests that Mourinho didn't really have a clue what to do about it. But...why? I've never liked him, but that's not because I thought he was a shit manager - I thought he was a very effective manager. I didn't like him because he was a nasty piece of work (too many obvious examples of this to bother offering up) and his teams could be cynical in the extreme. But by last December I'd reached the point of such extreme boredom with LVG's anti-football that I was quite happy to take Mourinho when Chelsea ditched him. I can't for a minute believe that he really thinks Rooney is justifying his place week after week or that he can't see what Matt said about Rooney's inclusion bending the team out of shape. So what's going on?
― Ireland's Industry (that is what we are) (Nasty, Brutish & Short), Sunday, 18 September 2016 19:46 (seven years ago) link
exactly. Rooney's shitness isn't in question, so Mourinho is either colluding in some fucked-up contractual politics that Utd have so far managed to keep under wraps, or he has suddenly become a v. bad manager. either way, that makes him a bigger liability than Rooney for the forseeable future.
― you can't drowned a duck (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 18 September 2016 19:53 (seven years ago) link
Agree with all of that, yeah
Tho i do think mourinho has been on a dgaf trip since signing his last contract with Chelsea and has been in pre retirement mode perhaps.
― poor fiddy-less albion (darraghmac), Sunday, 18 September 2016 20:35 (seven years ago) link
i think dgaf is a more likely explanation than Roo being King of the Reptilian Shapeshifters or something, yeah
― you can't drowned a duck (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 18 September 2016 20:36 (seven years ago) link
You presuppose that whatevers going on with mourinho somehow explains a decade of an entire nation's media, a superclub and several successive highest-level managers ignoring that his best energies were shot up the crumbling passages of a 60 benson/hedges-faced grandmother tart
― poor fiddy-less albion (darraghmac), Sunday, 18 September 2016 20:52 (seven years ago) link
https://www.theguardian.com/football/blog/2016/sep/18/wayne-rooney-manchester-united-midfield-mess-jose-mourinho
― Ireland's Industry (that is what we are) (Nasty, Brutish & Short), Sunday, 18 September 2016 20:55 (seven years ago) link
Just throwing this out there but I wonder if Portugal winning a major trophy before he had the chance to become their manager might have deflated him a bit.
― Bottlerockey (Tom D.), Sunday, 18 September 2016 21:26 (seven years ago) link
wish i could find that wonderful nakh post about jose completing his career path by arising to heaven on a przewalskis horse to the tune of the cl theme
― r|t|c, Sunday, 18 September 2016 21:52 (seven years ago) link
if we still believed in jose the arch schemer and not the sullen rebarbative reactionary i guess it could all be seen as political play to give twp enough rope without disturbing the pundits, money men, squad acolytes
― r|t|c, Sunday, 18 September 2016 21:57 (seven years ago) link
MOTD2 pundits still bigging up Rooney and saying he should be played as a defensive midfielder.
― Ireland's Industry (that is what we are) (Nasty, Brutish & Short), Sunday, 18 September 2016 21:59 (seven years ago) link
I mean it's gone past spooky, right?
― poor fiddy-less albion (darraghmac), Sunday, 18 September 2016 22:06 (seven years ago) link
What squad acolytes are there remaining? Is Mourinho really going to care about Phil Jones getting upset?
― Matt DC, Sunday, 18 September 2016 22:56 (seven years ago) link
That compilation from the Watford game made me laugh out loud. "Another deep one from Rooney" felt deferential, like who are we to question his methods, Roo works in mysterious ways.
Has there ever been a situation like this before? A player that is mocked and hated by all fans and football fans, like a complete laughing stock, but continues to be picked by managers and praised by pundits? It is so weird. Hilarious but also kind of frustrating. How is he getting away with this? It feels unjust.
― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Monday, 19 September 2016 07:24 (seven years ago) link
Is it true that he's mocked and hated by all football fans? I bet there's still loads who want to believe in the Rooney of 2004 or 2009 or even 11/12.
That deference exists with all England players above a certain stature, Gerrard was shite for years while still being fawned over, Michael Owen's one big goal in him etc. The only exceptions I can think of are when players decline very suddenly and then just retire, like Ferdinand.
― Matt DC, Monday, 19 September 2016 09:27 (seven years ago) link
^ yep, was going to mention Gerrard
― Ireland's Industry (that is what we are) (Nasty, Brutish & Short), Monday, 19 September 2016 09:33 (seven years ago) link
Everyone's piling in now: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/football/2016/09/19/manchester-united-captain-wayne-rooney-is-just-no-longer-good-en/
― Ireland's Industry (that is what we are) (Nasty, Brutish & Short), Monday, 19 September 2016 09:38 (seven years ago) link
A player that is mocked and hated by all fans and football fans, like a complete laughing stock, but continues to be picked by managers and praised by pundits?
Paul Robinson doesn't count here, deems.
― Bottlerockey (Tom D.), Monday, 19 September 2016 09:40 (seven years ago) link
Gerrard was still p good for Liverpool - maybe shite for England. Even in his last season at Liverpool he was decent, despite the overhyping of the Pirlo role etc.
There are plenty, I'm sure. But he is a definite figure of fun and not just for ILX-types, I guess finding hatred on Twitter is easy but he really does have a legion of detractors.
― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Monday, 19 September 2016 09:42 (seven years ago) link
Yeah I mean it does seem to be especially detached from reality in Rooney's case, it's the shunting him into positions to which is manifestly not competent and then pretending otherwise. He'd still probably be a reasonable #9 but there's zero case for playing him in that position over Zlatan or Rashford.
― Matt DC, Monday, 19 September 2016 10:05 (seven years ago) link
Gerrard comparison falls flat for several reasons imho. He wasn't great but still p dece at times. He wasn't put on as a striker either.
What makes this unique is Rooney persistently being played at positions that aren't his. I thought the whole 'obligated to play by contract' thing was illuminati conspiracy theory stuff, but now I'm not so sure. Because I can't for the life of me remember Mourinho of all people keeping a player in his teams that was playing so badly.
― Le Bateau Ivre, Monday, 19 September 2016 10:16 (seven years ago) link
you don't remember gerrard playing the free role (aka "plz the stop fucking up my tactics captain marvel, love rafa" role) behind torres?
― r|t|c, Monday, 19 September 2016 10:27 (seven years ago) link
Gerrard was a barely competent DM and the number of goals Liverpool shipped during that otherwise amazing season should have provided some clue there, even without the slip. Even earlier in his career he would tend to blow it against top-class opposition, comedy assists to Henry, Zidane etc. His best season was probably as an attacking midfielder and that free role did suit him pretty well but only with Alonso and Mascherano in there to free him of certain responsibilities.
Which isn't to say he wasn't a very good player but he was very... indulged in a way that other footballers wouldn't have been.
― Matt DC, Monday, 19 September 2016 10:44 (seven years ago) link
gerrard was brilliant in the free role behind torres! that was the best of gerrard!
― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Monday, 19 September 2016 10:52 (seven years ago) link
Gerrard was a barely competent DM and the number of goals Liverpool shipped during that otherwise amazing season should have provided some clue there, even without the slip.
they're still shipping goals, don't think you can blame that on gerrard entirely. he was in no way as bad as rooney has become - he actually made a lot of goals that year, his assists figure was p high as far as i remember.
and he left fairly soon after he was done, or before he became a total passenger.
Even earlier in his career he would tend to blow it against top-class opposition
this isn't true at all - he was a big game player, too much so if anything.
― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Monday, 19 September 2016 10:55 (seven years ago) link
Yeah fundamentally even in his dodgy last few seasons he was way better than Rooney now, but the overpraise and the overlooking of flaws is the same phenomenon, it happens to all talismanic England players. Beckham got it as well.
― Matt DC, Monday, 19 September 2016 11:01 (seven years ago) link
yeah for sure, i just think tho right now this roo situation feels unprecedented. it's exacerbated by the fact that like, even with gerrard at 34, liverpool probably didn't have a better alternative. man u have spunked hundreds of millions of pounds in recent years, and they're still playing this lost soul whose form is comically bad, plus "barnstorming midfielder to bad quarterback" is so much less unusual and silly than "striker to bad quarterback", particularly when it's rooney, who isn't like a ryan giggs type of footballer.
― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Monday, 19 September 2016 11:08 (seven years ago) link
like it's as if, because say, ryan giggs did this and it worked well, roon feels somehow that it's a natural and normal thing, as you get older the team makes a new position for you so you can still keep playing, when the reality is giggs is prob one of the only times this actually worked.
― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Monday, 19 September 2016 11:09 (seven years ago) link
Striker-to-quarterpounder position amirite?
― Matt DC, Monday, 19 September 2016 11:11 (seven years ago) link
I think we've established that Rooney doesn't count Lawrence Oates as a role model
― you can't drowned a duck (Noodle Vague), Monday, 19 September 2016 11:13 (seven years ago) link
it was fun when mark hughes became a defensive midfielder for the last two or three years of his career
― imago, Monday, 19 September 2016 11:18 (seven years ago) link
Did that happen? Wtf I have no memory of that.
Trying to think of a decent striker-to-DM conversion. Dembele doesn't count because he was never much cop as a striker to begin with.
― Matt DC, Monday, 19 September 2016 11:36 (seven years ago) link
yeah i remember hughes as dm.
paul scholes sort of - he was a striker at the very start of his career.
― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Monday, 19 September 2016 11:38 (seven years ago) link
i always used to wonder why full backs that can't defend weren't just made into wingers. like eg moreno, glen johnson etc.
― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Monday, 19 September 2016 11:39 (seven years ago) link
rooney thing is so bizarre. hilarious but bizarre. i mean there's no way of knowing for sure obviously but i'm pretty certain that if pep had taken the utd job instead of going to city there's not a chance in hell rooney would be starting, he'd probably have been bombed out all together.
― pandemic, Monday, 19 September 2016 11:43 (seven years ago) link
xp the few times i can remember glen johnson playing RW for lfc he was shite if i recall. i think that the skill set for a winger is different enough from a FB to make that transition difficult. just where they recieve the ball in realtion to the opposition, where they're facing, how much space they have etc
― pandemic, Monday, 19 September 2016 11:46 (seven years ago) link
receive and relation that should be ffs
― pandemic, Monday, 19 September 2016 11:47 (seven years ago) link
utd could do with a DM but a 3 of either carrick/blind(deep), pogba (leftish) derek/herrera (rightish) + zlatan, martial,rashford should be good enough i'd have thought.
― pandemic, Monday, 19 September 2016 11:50 (seven years ago) link
I guess Mourinho did want to sign Rooney before, maybe he really loves him.
― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Monday, 19 September 2016 12:13 (seven years ago) link
Poor Mata.
― Matt DC, Monday, 19 September 2016 13:11 (seven years ago) link
Lol yes I forgot about Mata. Utd unbeaten this season with him in the line up. I've only seen one Utd game this season tbf and only saw 5 last season so what do I know. Find it hard to believe that pogba, mkhitaryan and zlatan arent their best 3 players by a distance so cobble together a system that suits those 3 would be a start. Totally forgot about schneiderlin and schweini as well. Oh and depay as well. By God there' s hundreds of em.
― pandemic, Monday, 19 September 2016 14:37 (seven years ago) link
Mata played against Feyenoord tbh
― Le Bateau Ivre, Monday, 19 September 2016 14:37 (seven years ago) link
If by November Utd are still playing a 4-2-3-1 and Rooney is the #10 rather than mkhitaryan or even Mata then Mourinho wants shooting.
― pandemic, Monday, 19 September 2016 14:39 (seven years ago) link
There were, but yesterday felt like a tipping point. It's basically open revolt now
― Number None, Monday, 19 September 2016 16:24 (seven years ago) link
yeah is it totally unfeasible he could get a penthouse or something and cook his fucking dinner?
― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Wednesday, 26 October 2016 09:08 (seven years ago) link
He's gone full Moyes at Sociedad. It's a sign he doesn't expect to stay long.
― Matt DC, Wednesday, 26 October 2016 09:47 (seven years ago) link
Either that or he knows he's losing the PR battle and wants people to think he's just sitting in his room playing Candy Crush and weeping.
― Matt DC, Wednesday, 26 October 2016 09:52 (seven years ago) link
"I want sometimes to walk a little bit and I can’t. I just want to cross the bridge and go for a restaurant. I can’t, so it is really bad. Buy a house? I do not know, I do not know."
― r|t|c, Wednesday, 26 October 2016 10:34 (seven years ago) link
Fergus Butler-Gallie @_F_B_G_ May 3Stood behind Jose Mourinho buying what appears to be a metric tonne of mango sorbet on the Kings Road.
Need a Mou vs Moyes thread. Things are almost perfect rn.
― xyzzzz__, Wednesday, 26 October 2016 18:29 (seven years ago) link
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Cvtvd9IWEAAJgOr.jpg
― r|t|c, Wednesday, 26 October 2016 19:38 (seven years ago) link
trolling everyone all at once, including himself
― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Wednesday, 26 October 2016 19:44 (seven years ago) link
http://i.imgur.com/hXkWlnDl.jpg
― Number None, Tuesday, 15 November 2016 23:04 (seven years ago) link
Manchester United boss Jose Mourinho furious with FA staff over Wayne Rooney negligence
― r|t|c, Wednesday, 16 November 2016 23:58 (seven years ago) link
FA incapable of looking after a vulnerable 31 year old man.
― The Doug Walters of Crime (Tom D.), Thursday, 17 November 2016 08:48 (seven years ago) link
"All the legends we loved drank like devils"
― mark s, Friday, 18 November 2016 11:06 (seven years ago) link
everything klopp says and does is brilliant
― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Friday, 18 November 2016 11:06 (seven years ago) link
fave bit of that was - if i understood him correctly - him suggesting it was a nice collateral that people are able to find players in unprofessional states so they can get paid for the scoop. like civic pokemons or w/e
― r|t|c, Friday, 18 November 2016 11:20 (seven years ago) link
i mean there was no irony or implicit disdain for vulture behaviour whatsoever it was v charming
― r|t|c, Friday, 18 November 2016 11:23 (seven years ago) link
he is v charming imo
― jason waterfalls (gbx), Friday, 18 November 2016 15:55 (seven years ago) link
I like the bit about him having to go round filling people's glasses at the Christmas party.
― Matt DC, Friday, 18 November 2016 18:52 (seven years ago) link
been "disgracefully treated" apparently.
― pandemic, Saturday, 19 November 2016 18:51 (seven years ago) link
would explain the poor quality finish
― the kids are alt right (darraghmac), Saturday, 19 November 2016 18:55 (seven years ago) link
...ing
― The Doug Walters of Crime (Tom D.), Saturday, 19 November 2016 19:09 (seven years ago) link
yeah look
― the kids are alt right (darraghmac), Saturday, 19 November 2016 19:12 (seven years ago) link
I've been disgracefully treated by good red wine in my time but I've only ever had myself to blame
― For bodies we are ready to build pyramids (wtev), Sunday, 20 November 2016 07:56 (seven years ago) link
FA officials decided to shepherd the pair away around 11pm but they later returned to the wedding, where Rooney downed red wine while shouting obscenities at the DJ.
He is also said to have chatted for hours with a couple of female guests and later became “touchy-feely” with several others while “bumbling” around.
At one point he told the DJ to “turn the f*****g music up!”. He was also heard yelling “shut the f*** up” at guests as he listened to music on a phone.
The Man United ace had earlier surprised guests by playing the piano — but a second attempt ended in embarrassment. A guest said: “He got back on around 4.30am and collapsed on the keys. His head was resting on them. A woman picked him up.”
Guests had asked Jagielka to help but he is said to have answered: “No, f*** Wayne, he’s paid more than me and is big enough and ugly enough to look after himself.”
― r|t|c, Sunday, 20 November 2016 10:17 (seven years ago) link
mixing in just enough truth there jagz
― the kids are alt right (darraghmac), Sunday, 20 November 2016 10:25 (seven years ago) link
Pleased to see Fergie has passed on his love of the piano to his charges. And red wine.
― The Doug Walters of Crime (Tom D.), Sunday, 20 November 2016 10:34 (seven years ago) link
Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney says reaction to his late-night conduct on England duty has been "disgraceful" and has vowed he is "not finished yet".
what a session, still on it a week later.
― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Sunday, 20 November 2016 10:54 (seven years ago) link
Determined to nail "Imagine" one day.
― The Doug Walters of Crime (Tom D.), Sunday, 20 November 2016 10:56 (seven years ago) link
does he do children's parties?
― brex yourself before you wrex yourself (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 20 November 2016 11:04 (seven years ago) link
feel like a user need for "interior life of wayne rooney" is developing
― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Sunday, 20 November 2016 11:05 (seven years ago) link
No one needs confirmation that's it's over for him once and for all, but if you ever needed it all you'd need to do is take one look at his beard.
― Matt DC, Sunday, 20 November 2016 12:16 (seven years ago) link
"Ugly enough to look after himself", harsh but fair imho.
Quite the scene though. Shouting at the dj to turn it up, then turn it down again because he's listening to tunes on his phone, at a party. What was on Rooney's iPhone, one wonders? The man is in despair.
― Le Bateau Ivre, Sunday, 20 November 2016 12:42 (seven years ago) link
Quite the scene though. Shouting at the dj to turn it up, then turn it down again because he's listening to tunes on his phone, at a party.
Not even just a party - a wedding reception for people he didn't even know
― Ireland's Industry (that is what we are) (Nasty, Brutish & Short), Sunday, 20 November 2016 13:49 (seven years ago) link
I've been thinking has this all been a set up to hasten his departure from the England team.
― For bodies we are ready to build pyramids (wtev), Sunday, 20 November 2016 19:03 (seven years ago) link
they spiked his tenth drink huh
― the kids are alt right (darraghmac), Sunday, 20 November 2016 19:49 (seven years ago) link
i had a similar thought the other day, they offered him this as a more dignified way of getting dropped rather than just because he's shit at football
― brex yourself before you wrex yourself (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 20 November 2016 19:56 (seven years ago) link
kinda like The Spider's Stratagem but with wedding DJs
― brex yourself before you wrex yourself (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 20 November 2016 19:58 (seven years ago) link
theme of the traitor and the he-roo
― r|t|c, Sunday, 20 November 2016 20:03 (seven years ago) link
it was under our noses all along
― brex yourself before you wrex yourself (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 20 November 2016 20:06 (seven years ago) link
there was a trail of lager leading to the old abandoned footballer's room
― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Sunday, 20 November 2016 20:13 (seven years ago) link
Rooney at Colonus: the Interior Life
― brex yourself before you wrex yourself (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 20 November 2016 20:15 (seven years ago) link
Et mou b-roote
― the kids are alt right (darraghmac), Sunday, 20 November 2016 20:33 (seven years ago) link
Jagz agreed to do it in return for an undisclosed % of profit on roo's fourth book, tentatively titled "Daddy what did you do in the world cup?"
― For bodies we are ready to build pyramids (wtev), Monday, 21 November 2016 14:54 (seven years ago) link
answer: a shit
― the kids are alt right (darraghmac), Monday, 21 November 2016 16:29 (seven years ago) link