Kids say the darndest things

One of my kids could read and spell a bunch of words by 1.5...

It wouldn't really surprise me? iirc our kids are right around the same age and mine has kind of been distinguishing between different number symbols, pointing at letters and saying "abc's" but not saying that about numbers, saying "H" when pointing at the Honda emblem on our car, and "counting" where he can sometimes say numbers in the correct order but more often says FOUR...FIVE...EIGHT over and over.

reading and spelling is different!

also yr kid's a genius :)

Here he is reading numbers at 17 months:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYvNyghecMQ

He screwed up 4, though :P

It was all very exciting at the time, but at this point, his twin brother is a higher-level reader than he is, so things seem to even out. In some ways, I think the decoding ability he had early on may have messed with his comprehension skills a bit.

We've got that book! That was a big one for both our kids. High-five, book buddy!

Jesus, Nora's 22 months and we've not even got anywhere near numbers or letters. Hell, I refused to learn to read until I was 6yo apparently.

achieving milestones early doesn't really count for much (no offense, early milestone achievers!)

Yep.

[EXT: INSIDE CAR]

ME: He drew that Peanuts comic strip for like 50 years though.

[pause]

BEEPS: Is he still alive?

ME: No. He actually died the day his last strip ran in the paper.

HANK: Then who draws Charlie Brown now?

ME: I guess just anyone who works for his publishing company. Snoopy's not that hard to draw.

[pause]

HANK: I'm going to tell everyone that you're the one who goes around saying "Good Grief."

Well, I'm more convinced. J successfully and unprompted pointed out '8' and '7' and a few others earlier. (His numbers book only goes up to 5 so o_O) but he still gets confused with other numbers and colours (I have synaesthesia so we'll see...). He just seems quite interested all of a sudden in naming stuff/looking at books and numbers/picking out objects and shapes and is picking up loads. He can also recognise drawings of owls in pretty much any form no matter how abstract. Not that he's a child genius or anything, it's just increasingly fun to see what he knows!

As a family, we were discussing where we were going to go on vacation. My 3 year old daughter has been saying for a couple of weeks now that she wants to go to Portugal and my girlfriend was saying that kind of trip would be expensive, so my son interjects that "any vacation is going to be expensive!". So I ask him what expensive means to him: "Anything that costs more than thirty dollars"

dammit, he's right.

9y/o Beeps: 'What's a dildo?'
Me: 'I...uhhhh...well...I have absolutely no idea but please don't ask anyone else, okay?'

Yet another stellar parenting moment.

lol, that's probably about as well as I would do.

LOL

Reminds me of the time when I was about 6. An older friend pointed out something in a (very decent) mail order catalog and I yelled through the room full of (very decent) people: 'Mom! What are condoms?!?'

Ella (3yo) and her pitches for TV shows she would like to see:

* Huggle Paddle the Duck and His Great Adventures of the Twinkling Fairy
* The Broccoli That Wore Underpants
* Robot of the Flowers
* The Ant and the Nice Leaf
* The Haloumi That Turned a Biscuit into a Cake
* The Magic Rose Who Turned a Princess Into a Beast

would watch

apparently donald trump is bad because he's going to send all the white people to mexico

xxp
of Montreal EP reissue series is going well

We have to calm down Beeps every few weeks since this election went full-tilt-swing. She's worried that her best friend at school, a Muslim, is going to be sent somewhere. She's worried that many of her Hispanic classmates are going to get rounded up. She's been guarded about this next point, but she's also very much aware that her mother is an immigrant, albeit a white English-speaking one.

We've talked to her about how this man is crazy with crazy ideas; how he likely won't get elected; how even if he did, many of these actions couldn't take place; how her friends aren't going to get deported; that Mommy is safe; that ---

But it's fucking ludicrous that we have to have these talks because of an actual major-party candidate running for president of the United States.

OTOH, Hammer told me that for his birthday, he wants a machete, one of those gray flannel moving blankets, and an American flag. I'm scared to ask him which candidate he supports.

Henry, portrait of a serial killer

Yeah, that one used to be funny.

One of these is a picture of us from the year 2039. Just not sure which one yet.

http://i.imgur.com/Pf1c9zj.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/LMZiXBH.jpg

I LOLed

<3

Wife: Do you like being in the first grade?
Kid: As much as a letter loves a mailbox.

W: And do you like your new teacher?
K: As much as a sausage loves a frying pan.

"i need u" by bieber/diplo/skrillex is now known in our house as "Yammy Doodle" because this is how my 5-y-o has interpreted the first cut-up lyrics

("i need you / i need you / i need you" = "yammy doodle / yammy doodle / yammy doodle")

aw

Ella: I can't reach that.
my wife: Well, get your stool and you can climb up.
Ella: If you think that's wise, woman!

XD

"Woman!"

Judah has taken to singing Steely Dan's "Dirty Work" to himself while playing "construction". Except he kinda barks it out, staccato: "I'M A FOOL TO DO YO DIRTY WORK! OH YEAH!"

A friend was getting checked for testicular cancer, which came up in conversation, so we explained to Ella that this meant a doctor had to look at his testicles.
"Oh! Which one?"

An Important Question.

7-y-o: "ok what will you give me if i punch this punching bag all the way to the floor?"

me: "5.... million dollars"

his eyes light up, he does it

"ok pay up!!!!"

"i guess i don't have it on me right now"

"what is this, donald trump???"

Sue that kid.

the last line is his!!

wait so your very powerful son punched a punching bag off its chain and onto the floor??

dude i even gave stage directions

it's a kid's punching bag

"Mom, I like you. But I'm not a lesbian."

completely out of nowhere.

Hahaha

lol

2 year old : "I want snack."
Me : "OK what do you want?"
2yo: "I want sugar."

same

Planet Earth II:

narration: "it is a world very few have ever explored....."

"one of them's david attenborough"

👍