Which dangerous animals would you most like to stroke and cuddly sleep with if you could be certain they wouldn't hurt you?

Yeah, it seems like there's no significant difference between house cats and wild cats beyond size. If your house cat was big enough it would totally eat you without a second thought.

― Two Kisses and Three Wet Mouths (Old Lunch), Friday, August 19, 2016 3:27 PM (1 minute ago)

Believe me, he tries. I'd just like to meet the little wild guys, they're so cute.

http://3guys1movie.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/Diceman-and-Koala.jpg

My cat's plan, I'm pretty sure, is to trip me up in the dark while I'm going downstairs.

dammit i've already voted but now i've realised what i really want is to chill with a fennec

https://images6.alphacoders.com/428/428756.jpg

i think that's every cat's plan xp

then they eat your corpse of course

Of course

I really want to stroke a Pallas's cat, they look so fluffy!

http://dinoanimals.com/wp-content/themes/Broadcast/thumb.php?src=http://dinoanimals.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/Pallass_cat-949x475.jpg&w=949&h=475&zc=1&q=100

foxes for sure my write-in vote, altho slow loris definitely up there & all of them cats

xp I think a big part of the Pallas's cat's appeal is the tension between their super-cuddly looking bodies and "don't even think about it, pal" facial expressions.

Would anyone cuddle a hyrax?

i mean i'd give it a shot but it wouldn't be in my top 25 potential animal cuddles

I would, if only because they look like they could use a cuddle.

panda, gorilla or polar bear i think if they were chill, don't want something i might squish if i rolled over

I kind of assumed that implicit in the animal being unable to hurt you would also be the idea that you wouldn't hurt it, but I guess that isn't actually said anywhere in the OP.

i think you've gone too far the other way cuz i think any of those could squish you if they rolled over xp

unless in this scenario you're also impervious to accidental harm i guess

Bees. Lots of bees. A big nonstingy bee onesie.

Yeah, ignore accidental harm and potential diseases as well as maulings, I reckon.

xp

you probably can't irl roll over and crush a living creature unless you're drugged/boozed unconscious, i seem to recall the possibility of smothering a baby being an old wives' tale

so i would very much dig a nest of assorted rabbits and cavies

any mention of flying stinging insects on ilx inevitably brings to mind this immortal thread

An empty cigar tube filled with wasps makes a good vibrator.

a ball pool filled with quokkas would be pretty sweet

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/178BWFbldCY/hqdefault.jpg

Also nobody wants to hug an ostrich, they are the avian manifestation of hatred

― ultros ultros-ghali, Friday, 19 August 2016 15:20

I laughed

Forgotten Kangaroos too.

I guess ferrets are probably too dangerous for most people people to handle?

Would a koala hurt you?

Meerkats? I stroked one at a zoo once, it wasn't allowed but I was feeling unusually impulsive and I wonder if I had taken a big risk?

Koalas all have chlamydia apparenly, you don't really want to sleep with one.

wombats look like they'd give good cuddle but i bet they're vicious bastards irl

they said the animal won't hurt you, sti's include as hurting me, in this hypothetical koaka is DD free

Foxes seem pretty cool.

― One bad call from barely losing to (Alex in SF)

Nah they're dicks.

squirrel

haha my first thought was lemur, since they are my favorite animal to see at zoos, but almost every GIS is them giving the evil eye stare.

https://www.zsl.org/sites/default/files/styles/leader/public/image/2015-03/lemur%20home%20page%20gif.gif?itok=w8l4_gcZ

where is "none" option? stench of most of these animals would be overpowering

Other (your mum)

Iirc the name "lemur" comes from their nocturnal resemblance to evil ghosts

Some of you have a weird concept of "dangerous" animals

going for the simple answer of

bear

If it's not to be trusted during your sleep or likely to bite your fingers hard enough to pierce your flesh, then it's dangerous enough.

But for purposes of this poll, I don't think I want to waste guaranteed immunity from harm on an animal that's only "dangerous enough." I want an apex predator. I'm leaning towards crocodile.

definitely a big cat, tiger or bobcat or something.

bears a good option too.

I'd like to drift off to the sub bass rumblings of an elephant

this week my workmates and i came up with our fantasy petting zoo:

highland cows
icelandic horses
lionhead rabbits
pudus
dik-diks

i'm gonna add that quokka thing now that i've seen it.

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

I was going to say that I'd like to cuddle a manatee, but apparently you can get arrested for that:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2280785/Ryan-William-Waterman-21-arrested-hugging-manatee-posting-photos-Facebook.html

Waterman, from Fort Pierce, Florida was charged with trying to 'molest, harass, or disturb' a manatee which is an endangered species.

Florida's Manatee Sanctuary Acts reads: 'It is unlawful for any person at any time, by any means, or in any manner intentionally or negligently to annoy, molest, harass, or disturb or attempt to molest, harass, or disturb any manatee.'
The second-degree misdemeanor for harming a manatee carries up to 60 days in jail and a $500 fine.

I guess you could interpret "if you could be certain they wouldn't hurt you" to include freedom from any legal consequences of stroking/cuddling the animal?

Herself

i would cuddle a bear. i would be wary of cuddling a monkey. too much like humans and they might try to have sex with you.

I have 'cuddled' lemurs, only because I was holding a banana they don't give a shit about cuddles.

unintentional display name synchronicity, i have not cuddled all olly murs' lemurs.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

Foxes, tigers, all the whales

hogh.........big boy...... pic.twitter.com/f7cslVi78r

— coool shark (@coolshark14) October 15, 2020

I used to have a goofy-looking malamute mutt whose head was shaped just like a polar bear's, so whenever I see a picture of a polar bear it triggers an automatic WHO'S A GOOD BOY? reflex in me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2831b0ya4Zs

polar bears, if I understand correctly, are just grizzly bears that specialized. they are, if anything, more dangerous to people than a grizzly and that is quite a feat.

Thanks, these are great but scary
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4E9yrGczbk