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scene: random brunette, college age w/two blondes in the middle of a side street outside of cambridge somewhere)
random brunette: hey! you! hey you! on the bike stop.
me: are you the police?
random brunete; i want to talk. pleaaase stop.
me: huh? (slows down, u-turn) hey whats up?
random brunette: you know what! i never learned how to ride a bike!
me: oh thats too bad. you should try it sometime.
random brunette: i NEVER learned!
me: thats ok, never too..
randm brunette: my parents were sick all the time and never taught me how to ride a bike.
me: sick all the time? i can relate, oh uuuuuhm you're a little drunk huh
random girl: i never learned how to ride a bike (sad face)
me: ok well you could get a used bike, i was a latebloomer myself
blonde: (death cry/excelsior style) LATEBLOOOOOOOOMER! (wtf)
me: yah, i didnt learn to ride til i was about 8. you could maybe get a used bike, they are all over the place
random girl: but what good is that going to do me if i can not RIDE?
me: true, you need to find someone who will teach you i suppose, look on craigs..
random girl: STRADLES BIKE AND MY LAP
(i grab her round the waist so we both dont fall off and she tries to peddle)
randomd brunette: i am only 120 pounds so lets GOOOO
me: (we get a few feet) i uh really cant manage this, my seat is set too low. ( i have no idea what this means)
blonde: TAXIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKSTOP
(i step off my bike (read stand and slide random brunette ass off my crotch) and push random giggling brunette up the hill while she flails her legs about (oh my heart just a little)
second blonde: (runs up to us -pulls water bottle out of my holder, shaking it) This better be VODKA!
me: uh no water
blonde: hey get in the cab katieeeeee
random brunette: whoareyou?iam katie with-an-i. (grabs/hugs me) igotoblahblahskoolblahblahincomprehensible
me: yah, see you
cab takes off about 90 mph
me: (to two random spanish dudes who sit on steps and yell at cars all night) that wasn't so bad.
spanish dude: NOW go FOLLOW her DUDE, FOLLOW HER! GET THAT!
(i went and bought another water and i know this is more random drunk encounter than pick up line but wahtvere)
― kephm (kephm), Sunday, 10 September 2006 05:03 (seventeen years ago) link
Me: Wow your girlfriend throws a great party
Him: Yeah. Wanna get out of here with me?
this happened tonight.
WHAT. THE. FUCK.
― killy (baby lenin pin), Monday, 11 September 2006 04:47 (seventeen years ago) link
i was at a total cheeseball family luau in maui last week and some chick asked me if i knew where to get good weed. i said no and she started chatting me up like crazy. the wife came over and i said "good luck w/your hunt" and walked away a) why no matter where in the world i am do people assume i have or want to buy weed? b) is this a good pickup line?
― jaxon (jaxon), Monday, 11 September 2006 17:09 (seventeen years ago) link
was this gonna be like that scene in that movie Go where the english dude hooks up w/the two chix in the hotel in vegas and she sticks tissue up her nose because she can't inhale any other way and then the tissue lights on fire and he runs out the hall naked?
― jaxon (jaxon), Monday, 11 September 2006 17:10 (seventeen years ago) link
fourteen years pass...