OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

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It's a screengrab from the pdf off the website! They didn't have a normal text version...

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:28 (ten years ago) Permalink

can you link to the website? photobucket seems to be banned here.

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:29 (ten years ago) Permalink

http://www.exepose.ex.ac.uk

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:30 (ten years ago) Permalink

goes from strength to strength -- feeder mention is possibly the high point.

That one guy that quit, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:31 (ten years ago) Permalink

System of a Down's top 20 single was six and a half years ago, fact fans.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:32 (ten years ago) Permalink

"Recent developments in music have given Architechs a top 5 single"

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:33 (ten years ago) Permalink

surely this can't be THE jonny garrett?

http://www.myspace.com/chasingfaces

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:33 (ten years ago) Permalink

(yeah, they have a myspace already, the sellouts)

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:34 (ten years ago) Permalink

I suspect it must be, StanM.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:34 (ten years ago) Permalink

I assume, from their name that they like Snow Patrol and The Small Faces.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:35 (ten years ago) Permalink

um, holding up articles by students as examples of 'bad music writing'? talk about shooting fish in a barrel. Matt DC OTM.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:35 (ten years ago) Permalink

Following in the footsteps of West Country acts like Muse and Thirteen Senses by already winning over interest from various major and independent record labels, things are definitely looking good for the boys. Having recently been asked to support New Zealand favourites The Checks who have just finished touring with the likes of JET and Oasis.

"I know someone who knows someone who knows the guy from Young Heart Attack quite well"

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (ten years ago) Permalink

blueski and Matt DC offtm, this is the new web2.0 media era, we're all critics now, user provided content is the new professionally written content.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (ten years ago) Permalink

Even in the realm of student media this is BAAAAAAAAD though, Steve - I flick through Exepose every week and this is BY FAR the worst thing I've ever seen in it; hence not starting a thread every week.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:37 (ten years ago) Permalink

Haha I used to write for that paper. I wonder how long before he Googles his own name and finds it.

Matt DC, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:39 (ten years ago) Permalink

It would be so wonderful if he googled this thread and responded. What an utterly thrilling discussion and exchange of views that could lead to.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:40 (ten years ago) Permalink

Hey, with any luck he might hop over to ILE and start posting about his sex life or something.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:41 (ten years ago) Permalink

(my question: is the article motivated by his own band possibly signing to a major soon?)

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:42 (ten years ago) Permalink

Maybe I should unleash the views of Chris Erasmus at you all?

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:42 (ten years ago) Permalink

Haha, yeah, I'd imagine so, StanM.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:43 (ten years ago) Permalink

Hello Jonny's mom! No, he hasn't posted about his sex life yet. Try again later. Bye, ILX.

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:43 (ten years ago) Permalink

blueski and Matt DC offtm, this is the new web2.0 media era, we're all critics now, user provided content is the new professionally written content.

-- Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (11 minutes ago) Link

Dom is entirely correct here. I mean, the chuckle factor is diminished by him being a student, but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

sanskrit, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:54 (ten years ago) Permalink

also why do nearly all student newspaper writers write in what feels like the same voice? there's certain syntax and word choices that only student newspapers ever seem to have.

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:59 (ten years ago) Permalink

Nobody knows how to sub-edit when they're 21, that's why.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:03 (ten years ago) Permalink

^^not unrelated to why writers in the say, New York Times tend to sound the same. for that matter, ever read Blender? Despite the bylines it seems to be written by one many-armed poprockbot.

m coleman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:04 (ten years ago) Permalink

that really is quite incredible.

jed_, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:07 (ten years ago) Permalink

New York Times doesn't have sub-editors? That's crazy!

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:08 (ten years ago) Permalink

Hey Jonny, your band fucking suck.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:10 (ten years ago) Permalink

Jonny Garrett of Exeter University, that is.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:11 (ten years ago) Permalink

I think you mean <a href="OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?;>Jonny Garrett</a> of Exeter University.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:14 (ten years ago) Permalink

BOO HTML

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:14 (ten years ago) Permalink

Kudos on sticking it to Westlife, tho, Jonny Garrett of Exeter University. Those bastards have had it their own way for too long.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:15 (ten years ago) Permalink

Does Westlife even exist anymore?

Tuomas, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:16 (ten years ago) Permalink

highlights:

"...bands like westlife who can, quite frankly, go screw themselves with a rusty spoon and get tetanus"

"had nirvana not signed to sub pop... we would probably never have heard one of the most influential artists of our time and dave grohl may have never founded the foo fighters."

the pathos!

jed_, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:17 (ten years ago) Permalink

but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

democratization of criticism = people slagging this shit off just because they can rather than for any constructive cause. it's just easy target practice, who gives a shit? no-one/nothing is ever going to stop under-grads inheriting these absurd ideas about 'how things should be' in the music industry. surely we've all read this same article many times in the past.

i'm just more relieved than ever my music writing from college days was too soon for blog-era internet heh.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:19 (ten years ago) Permalink

"had nirvana not signed to sub pop... we would probably never have heard of..." Sub Pop.

NickB, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (ten years ago) Permalink

Was there ever a thread for people to post their own abysmal juvenile music writings from uni days?

Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (ten years ago) Permalink

Not that I'd post on it, my capsule reviews of Kinesis singles were all fuckin bang-on.

Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (ten years ago) Permalink

perhaps one day i will post my 8/10 track by track review of 'Be Here Now' from the time.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:24 (ten years ago) Permalink

Yeah, you real writers are all jealous that you've lost the ability to write like that, aren't you?

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:26 (ten years ago) Permalink

I wrote a two-part article in my uni paper called "Rhythm & Sound", which basically stated that all rock music that's based on melody or lyrics is boring crap, and that beats and sound are the essential components of good music - hence electronic dance music (and fusion jazz) is the best music there is. I got some angry comments from the indie kids.

Tuomas, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:27 (ten years ago) Permalink

Kudos on sticking it to Westlife, tho, Jonny Garrett of Exeter University.

and kudos to you lot for bravely and relentlessly going after such a signifivcant target as jonny garrett. sure showed him!

ts being one of many thick students w/ bad music taste who can't write, vs being someone who actually gives a shit about what said student writes in some minor student rag

or, matt'n'steve otm, u r all losers

lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:27 (ten years ago) Permalink

but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

student newspapers have nothing to do with the "democratization of criticism"

Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:28 (ten years ago) Permalink

I can't copy and paste from the Exeter Expose, but if you Google you can find a review where our Jonny talks about "Indy music".

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:28 (ten years ago) Permalink

also why do nearly all student newspaper writers write in what feels like the same voice? there's certain syntax and word choices that only student newspapers ever seem to have.

paul please, please tell me you don't actually care about the answer to this

lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:29 (ten years ago) Permalink

paul please, please tell me you don't actually care about the answer to this

-- lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:29 (58 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

http://downloadsimpsons.com/files/malibu_stacy.jpg

"Thinking too much gives you wrinkles"

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:31 (ten years ago) Permalink

haaaaaa

Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:33 (ten years ago) Permalink

come on everyone, geir gives himself away in the final parentheses.

Frogman Henry, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:34 (ten years ago) Permalink

ha. not sure i care as such! a while back i had a job gathering information on universities, i found it kind of funny that you can go anywhere in the country and every student newspapers seems to be written by the same person. it sort of interests me to know who, if anyone, they are imitating. if my current job was more interesting this issue would, i think, seem rather less pressing.

xp

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:35 (ten years ago) Permalink

i love the line about nirvana: nirvana's main block to future gold albums was kurt cobain's inability to accept the "popular culture lifestyle he was made to live", nothing about JUNKIE SUICIDE.

Frogman Henry, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:37 (ten years ago) Permalink

Affectionately; the band is known as DeMode, or simply DM by their hardcore fans. Dave Gahan is the band’s front-man, Martin Gore is on guitar / keys, and Andy Fletcher is on keys, and these cats continue to amaze with their infectious sound and soul-piercing lyrics.

nomar, Thursday, 12 October 2017 18:15 (one month ago) Permalink

"front-man" reminds me of

http://www.9e3k.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/Batman-Begins-GIF-07.gif

nomar, Thursday, 12 October 2017 18:15 (one month ago) Permalink

As for the name, it’s been said the name was taken from a French fashion magazine, Dépêche mode. It means hurried fashion or fashion dispatch, or something along those lines. It was 1981, and with a name secured, and music set to hit the street, DM’s first album was Speak & Spell. It came out at the perfect moment to be caught up in the fledgling new-wave music genre. Their freshman debut featured songs “New Life” and “Dreaming of Me”, but what set them off into the new-wave stratosphere was a song called “Just Can’t Get Enough”. Truthfully, the kids couldn’t get enough of this British new-wave power band.

http://employerlinc.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/HCR-Deadline-Looming.jpg

Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Thursday, 12 October 2017 18:16 (one month ago) Permalink

I feel like there's there's some punchline to this entire piece that I'm not getting

sic And Mordy’s worst fans don’t deserve sic And Mordy (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, 12 October 2017 18:17 (one month ago) Permalink

Also noteworthy, DM recently received a nomination for the 2017 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Truth is, they’ve received just about every award you can imagine, except a Grammy, and that’s a travesty. That’s another story for another day.

ToddBonzalez (BradNelson), Thursday, 12 October 2017 18:20 (one month ago) Permalink

I am certain that this is an intentional stylistic choice and I am also certain that unless the intent was to troll fans, no one who actually wants to read about Depeche Mode will understand or appreciate said intentional stylistic choice.

Marcus Hiles Remains Steadfast About Planting Trees.jpg (DJP), Thursday, 12 October 2017 18:22 (one month ago) Permalink

the dude is a local radio personality and not a music writer, so cool your jets, everyone

sic And Mordy’s worst fans don’t deserve sic And Mordy (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, 12 October 2017 18:30 (one month ago) Permalink

so this is meant to be read aloud

ToddBonzalez (BradNelson), Thursday, 12 October 2017 18:50 (one month ago) Permalink

lol

Marcus Hiles Remains Steadfast About Planting Trees.jpg (DJP), Thursday, 12 October 2017 18:51 (one month ago) Permalink

Busta Rhymes & the DeMode Squad

Universal LULU Nation (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, 12 October 2017 18:57 (one month ago) Permalink

Truly, today's kids were not ready for this local radio personality's fledgeling foray into the digital music scribe scene.

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 12 October 2017 19:47 (one month ago) Permalink

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/music-review-stargazing-for-beginners-dazzling_us_59d6634ce4b0666ad0c3cb75

...Sparkling guitar accents bring luminosity to the cogent resonance. “In A Past Life” exudes a new wave electro pop feel set in a prog rock matrix. The measured melody rumbles with deep tones. And Scott’s voice assumes a high-pitched sonority full of texture and undulating filaments.

The melody is minimal but heavy with vivacity flowing from Scott’s mellow voice. “Bodies” begins with a So-Cal intro segueing to a gleaming progressive rock melody. Restrained guitars provide lustrous mists of evocative intensity.

The title track delivers a quasi-psychedelic aroma within a prog rock melody. The melody oozes dark, heavy rhythms beneath soft, pale vocals juxtaposed against the liquid flow of random darkness. The tune discharges shadows blacker than black, along with a dank mysterious quality. It’s a great song.

...The bassline is stellar and palpable.... Poole’s guitar projects a raffish aroma that’s urgent and infectious... An aromatic guitar pours forth gracefully... The solo is chock-full of suffused sonic pigmentations, along with a bravura guitar.

early rejecter, Thursday, 12 October 2017 20:35 (one month ago) Permalink

just smell that guitar

Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Thursday, 12 October 2017 20:38 (one month ago) Permalink

those lustrous mists of guitar are quite aromatic

Universal LULU Nation (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, 12 October 2017 20:59 (one month ago) Permalink

in a weird way though i almost have to hear this album now so job done i guess?

Universal LULU Nation (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, 12 October 2017 20:59 (one month ago) Permalink

“Bodies” begins with a So-Cal intro

It says so much.

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 12 October 2017 21:06 (one month ago) Permalink

progressive rock clot

dinnerboat, Thursday, 12 October 2017 21:22 (one month ago) Permalink

At least this person is trying to describe what the music sounds like!!

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 12 October 2017 21:31 (one month ago) Permalink

sounds, looks, AND smells

Marcus Hiles Remains Steadfast About Planting Trees.jpg (DJP), Thursday, 12 October 2017 21:31 (one month ago) Permalink

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JkDLsq9lzsk

getting hints of oak, barnyard and overzealous press release

Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Thursday, 12 October 2017 21:38 (one month ago) Permalink

"the lambent bass discharged sleek tunnels of fatty overdrive - and it was everything!"

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 12 October 2017 21:44 (one month ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...

"Deconstructed" is such a giveaway new media word that means "a lot of content about a thing that says absolutely nothing new or interesting"

"the fgti incident?" (Whiney G. Weingarten), Monday, 30 October 2017 13:40 (one month ago) Permalink

new derrida description

we could poll decoded vs. deconstructed (in worst music writing)

niels, Monday, 30 October 2017 13:44 (one month ago) Permalink

ts: "deconstructed" (food) vs. "deconstructed" (literature)

what if a much of a which of a wind (Ye Mad Puffin), Wednesday, 1 November 2017 02:25 (one month ago) Permalink

Still thinking about that NYT Mag piece. I got breakfast at the diner this morning and they played Eurhythmics, Lady Gaga, Heart, Rihanna, Ace of Base, Kim Wide and Katy Perry.

Of course I sat shivering and confused, these songs hitting me like Esperanto.

Finally a song with a man's voice came on. I stood on the table, kicked all the food off and screamed all the words like a normal person

"the fgti incident?" (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 8 November 2017 14:50 (one month ago) Permalink

anecdotal experience truther up in here

President Keyes, Wednesday, 8 November 2017 14:56 (one month ago) Permalink

Have a hoagie: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Confirmation_bias

"the fgti incident?" (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 8 November 2017 14:57 (one month ago) Permalink

there are no commercial stations in the entire country that would play that many female-led songs in a row

dyl, Wednesday, 8 November 2017 23:48 (one month ago) Permalink

I think it was 106.7 Lite FM, but keep trying!

"the fgti incident?" (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, 9 November 2017 00:16 (one month ago) Permalink

There was two songs from men in there too iirc

"the fgti incident?" (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, 9 November 2017 00:17 (one month ago) Permalink

Both of which I saluted like a flag

"the fgti incident?" (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, 9 November 2017 00:17 (one month ago) Permalink

Of course bodega hoagie radio is just Mentors, Meatmen, XXXManik and the Eminem songs about killing his ex-wife

"the fgti incident?" (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, 9 November 2017 00:19 (one month ago) Permalink

Looking like a lab experiment for Eurocentric beauty, toting a bank account full of platinum records and a panoply of celebrity friends, if Swift couldn’t seem to find love, and she wrote about this problem often, rooting for Taylor Swift the Cultural Question to find happiness was a bit like rooting for the house in blackjack.

Frozen CD, Sunday, 12 November 2017 15:57 (four weeks ago) Permalink

"And how many celebrity friends would you like from your account today Ms Swift"

Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Monday, 13 November 2017 02:25 (four weeks ago) Permalink

"Taylor Swift the Cultural Question" clap clap clap.. "Taylor Swift the Cultural Question" clap clap clap..

Mark G, Monday, 13 November 2017 15:06 (four weeks ago) Permalink

idk I like that sentence

Simon H., Monday, 13 November 2017 15:17 (four weeks ago) Permalink

yeah it's a bit overstuffed but I prefer that to bland

sick, fucking funny, and well tasty (katherine), Monday, 13 November 2017 15:51 (four weeks ago) Permalink

Bloody Nora, the radio guy just mentioned Hans Christian Andersen's fairy tale 'Der er forskel' to express the difference in quality between these two teams. This isn't supposed to be educational ffs

Le Bateau Ivre, Tuesday, 14 November 2017 21:18 (three weeks ago) Permalink

sry rong thraed

Le Bateau Ivre, Tuesday, 14 November 2017 21:19 (three weeks ago) Permalink

bump

Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Tuesday, 14 November 2017 22:54 (three weeks ago) Permalink


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