OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

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It's a screengrab from the pdf off the website! They didn't have a normal text version...

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:28 (eleven years ago) Permalink

can you link to the website? photobucket seems to be banned here.

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:29 (eleven years ago) Permalink

http://www.exepose.ex.ac.uk

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:30 (eleven years ago) Permalink

goes from strength to strength -- feeder mention is possibly the high point.

That one guy that quit, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:31 (eleven years ago) Permalink

System of a Down's top 20 single was six and a half years ago, fact fans.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:32 (eleven years ago) Permalink

"Recent developments in music have given Architechs a top 5 single"

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:33 (eleven years ago) Permalink

surely this can't be THE jonny garrett?

http://www.myspace.com/chasingfaces

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:33 (eleven years ago) Permalink

(yeah, they have a myspace already, the sellouts)

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:34 (eleven years ago) Permalink

I suspect it must be, StanM.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:34 (eleven years ago) Permalink

I assume, from their name that they like Snow Patrol and The Small Faces.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:35 (eleven years ago) Permalink

um, holding up articles by students as examples of 'bad music writing'? talk about shooting fish in a barrel. Matt DC OTM.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:35 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Following in the footsteps of West Country acts like Muse and Thirteen Senses by already winning over interest from various major and independent record labels, things are definitely looking good for the boys. Having recently been asked to support New Zealand favourites The Checks who have just finished touring with the likes of JET and Oasis.

"I know someone who knows someone who knows the guy from Young Heart Attack quite well"

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (eleven years ago) Permalink

blueski and Matt DC offtm, this is the new web2.0 media era, we're all critics now, user provided content is the new professionally written content.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Even in the realm of student media this is BAAAAAAAAD though, Steve - I flick through Exepose every week and this is BY FAR the worst thing I've ever seen in it; hence not starting a thread every week.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:37 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Haha I used to write for that paper. I wonder how long before he Googles his own name and finds it.

Matt DC, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:39 (eleven years ago) Permalink

It would be so wonderful if he googled this thread and responded. What an utterly thrilling discussion and exchange of views that could lead to.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:40 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Hey, with any luck he might hop over to ILE and start posting about his sex life or something.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:41 (eleven years ago) Permalink

(my question: is the article motivated by his own band possibly signing to a major soon?)

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:42 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Maybe I should unleash the views of Chris Erasmus at you all?

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:42 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Haha, yeah, I'd imagine so, StanM.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:43 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Hello Jonny's mom! No, he hasn't posted about his sex life yet. Try again later. Bye, ILX.

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:43 (eleven years ago) Permalink

blueski and Matt DC offtm, this is the new web2.0 media era, we're all critics now, user provided content is the new professionally written content.

-- Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (11 minutes ago) Link

Dom is entirely correct here. I mean, the chuckle factor is diminished by him being a student, but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

sanskrit, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:54 (eleven years ago) Permalink

also why do nearly all student newspaper writers write in what feels like the same voice? there's certain syntax and word choices that only student newspapers ever seem to have.

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:59 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Nobody knows how to sub-edit when they're 21, that's why.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:03 (eleven years ago) Permalink

^^not unrelated to why writers in the say, New York Times tend to sound the same. for that matter, ever read Blender? Despite the bylines it seems to be written by one many-armed poprockbot.

m coleman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:04 (eleven years ago) Permalink

that really is quite incredible.

jed_, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:07 (eleven years ago) Permalink

New York Times doesn't have sub-editors? That's crazy!

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:08 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Hey Jonny, your band fucking suck.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:10 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Jonny Garrett of Exeter University, that is.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:11 (eleven years ago) Permalink

I think you mean <a href="OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?;>Jonny Garrett</a> of Exeter University.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:14 (eleven years ago) Permalink

BOO HTML

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:14 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Kudos on sticking it to Westlife, tho, Jonny Garrett of Exeter University. Those bastards have had it their own way for too long.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:15 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Does Westlife even exist anymore?

Tuomas, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:16 (eleven years ago) Permalink

highlights:

"...bands like westlife who can, quite frankly, go screw themselves with a rusty spoon and get tetanus"

"had nirvana not signed to sub pop... we would probably never have heard one of the most influential artists of our time and dave grohl may have never founded the foo fighters."

the pathos!

jed_, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:17 (eleven years ago) Permalink

but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

democratization of criticism = people slagging this shit off just because they can rather than for any constructive cause. it's just easy target practice, who gives a shit? no-one/nothing is ever going to stop under-grads inheriting these absurd ideas about 'how things should be' in the music industry. surely we've all read this same article many times in the past.

i'm just more relieved than ever my music writing from college days was too soon for blog-era internet heh.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:19 (eleven years ago) Permalink

"had nirvana not signed to sub pop... we would probably never have heard of..." Sub Pop.

NickB, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Was there ever a thread for people to post their own abysmal juvenile music writings from uni days?

Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Not that I'd post on it, my capsule reviews of Kinesis singles were all fuckin bang-on.

Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (eleven years ago) Permalink

perhaps one day i will post my 8/10 track by track review of 'Be Here Now' from the time.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:24 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Yeah, you real writers are all jealous that you've lost the ability to write like that, aren't you?

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:26 (eleven years ago) Permalink

I wrote a two-part article in my uni paper called "Rhythm & Sound", which basically stated that all rock music that's based on melody or lyrics is boring crap, and that beats and sound are the essential components of good music - hence electronic dance music (and fusion jazz) is the best music there is. I got some angry comments from the indie kids.

Tuomas, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:27 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Kudos on sticking it to Westlife, tho, Jonny Garrett of Exeter University.

and kudos to you lot for bravely and relentlessly going after such a signifivcant target as jonny garrett. sure showed him!

ts being one of many thick students w/ bad music taste who can't write, vs being someone who actually gives a shit about what said student writes in some minor student rag

or, matt'n'steve otm, u r all losers

lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:27 (eleven years ago) Permalink

but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

student newspapers have nothing to do with the "democratization of criticism"

Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:28 (eleven years ago) Permalink

I can't copy and paste from the Exeter Expose, but if you Google you can find a review where our Jonny talks about "Indy music".

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:28 (eleven years ago) Permalink

also why do nearly all student newspaper writers write in what feels like the same voice? there's certain syntax and word choices that only student newspapers ever seem to have.

paul please, please tell me you don't actually care about the answer to this

lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:29 (eleven years ago) Permalink

paul please, please tell me you don't actually care about the answer to this

-- lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:29 (58 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

http://downloadsimpsons.com/files/malibu_stacy.jpg

"Thinking too much gives you wrinkles"

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:31 (eleven years ago) Permalink

haaaaaa

Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:33 (eleven years ago) Permalink

come on everyone, geir gives himself away in the final parentheses.

Frogman Henry, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:34 (eleven years ago) Permalink

ha. not sure i care as such! a while back i had a job gathering information on universities, i found it kind of funny that you can go anywhere in the country and every student newspapers seems to be written by the same person. it sort of interests me to know who, if anyone, they are imitating. if my current job was more interesting this issue would, i think, seem rather less pressing.

xp

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:35 (eleven years ago) Permalink

i love the line about nirvana: nirvana's main block to future gold albums was kurt cobain's inability to accept the "popular culture lifestyle he was made to live", nothing about JUNKIE SUICIDE.

Frogman Henry, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:37 (eleven years ago) Permalink

The Saving Country Music guy is just Neill Jameson (Decibel's go-to essayist for incoherent anti-Antifa grumblings and other "defenses" of "keeping" "metal" "dangerous") in a cowboy hat.

grawlix (unperson), Wednesday, 11 April 2018 15:38 (two months ago) Permalink

So Tracey Thorn complained about a review on Twitter:

A 55 year old wife and mother. God the more I think about it the crosser I'm getting. 55 year old husband and father. I'm trying to imagine it as a description in an album review. Nope. Can't do it.

— Tracey Thorn (@tracey_thorn) April 13, 2018

And I figured it was probably just some random UK jagoff. Turns out it was King Jagoff, typing with his dick again:

Tracey Thorn: Record (Merge) Calm, deliberate, undemonstrative, Thorn is a singer some find magical and others prosaic. I've always tended other, but when a 55-year-old wife and mother claims she's recorded "nine feminist bangers," I pay attention.

Is this a "dog walking on its hind legs" situation for him? "She's old and married with a kid...but she says she's a feminist! This is a job for Christgau, The Dean of American Women's Studies Rock Critics!"

In four other songs, decent but fundamentally clueless guys mess with various women's lives, while two others evoke a motherhood you assume is autobiographical

Do you? I don't, any more than I assume George "Corpsegrinder" Fisher has really murdered all those people.

grawlix (unperson), Saturday, 14 April 2018 15:17 (two months ago) Permalink

*face palm*

The Harsh Tutelage of Michael McDonald (Raymond Cummings), Saturday, 14 April 2018 16:20 (two months ago) Permalink

And this one comes exactly one week after his Amy Rigby review. He's on a real roll.

Rigby's response, in part (the whole thing is worth reading):

All I know is that it was fine when he’d conjecture about me as a single mother, my work, my songs, hell even my breasts. It was fine cause I was hungry then – I wanted what ever any critic would say about me as long as it felt sort of like a compliment.

But I don’t feel that way anymore. I don’t want his praise that feels like a put down. I don’t want him talking about me in terms of my first husband who, bless his heart I have not been married to for twenty years. I don’t want him praising while panning and damning my partner, my husband, by saying he’s kept me too busy to do much work on music when he’s done nothing but encourage me to work. I don’t want him dismissing my hardworking husband for taking the easy way and living on the past when he’s done nothing but try to outrun the past.

I don’t want his readers thinking something’s a rave review when it feels hurtful and personal and dismissive.

grawlix (unperson), Saturday, 14 April 2018 16:37 (two months ago) Permalink

I think Christgau’s issue (one of them) often is writing positive reviews that feel like condescending pats on the head and when they’re aimed at women they feel just really paternalistic and the winking asides and mild caveats come off as even insults. And he still can’t write about women without regarding them as equals (he’d say otherwise and then pause to be dazzled by their looks or juggling of the domestic chores with music-making.)

omar little, Saturday, 14 April 2018 16:46 (two months ago) Permalink

Christgau’s reviews seem largely worthless even just on the basic level of talking about the music (never mind the issues discussed above). I’ve never understood why he has such a rep.

absorbed carol channing's powers & psyche (morrisp), Saturday, 14 April 2018 17:28 (two months ago) Permalink

That Amy Rigby piece is terrific, btw

absorbed carol channing's powers & psyche (morrisp), Saturday, 14 April 2018 17:37 (two months ago) Permalink

change my comment above to *disregarding them

omar little, Saturday, 14 April 2018 22:07 (two months ago) Permalink

https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1348047913l/341633.jpg

Although Artificial Intelligence's sleeve notes had insisted that the new electronica "cannot be described as soulless or machine made," what's most interesting about Autechre's work is the absence of heart and humanity, the way that the listener's impulse to forge an emotional connection simply ricochet's off the impenetrable, gmonic surfaces of their sound. At times you can't help wonder if the "aut" in their name stands for autism; listening, the mind's eye conjures up a vision of two small boys surrounded by techno toys, lost in a preverbal world of chromatics, texture and contour.

like æ duce says, smell my anvil vapre (Whiney G. Weingarten), Monday, 16 April 2018 14:31 (two months ago) Permalink

20-year-old music criticism in problematic attitudes to autism shocker

Mahogany Loggins (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 16 April 2018 14:43 (two months ago) Permalink

The Impenetrable Gnomic Surfaces is the name of my Autechre tribute band btw.

fleetwood machiavellian (Ye Mad Puffin), Monday, 16 April 2018 14:54 (two months ago) Permalink

jeezus fucking christ

marcos, Monday, 16 April 2018 14:58 (two months ago) Permalink

This is why I only write for Consumer Reports now

Paul Ponzi, Monday, 16 April 2018 15:08 (two months ago) Permalink

almost certain that it does stand for autism and that sean autechre is proudly autistic

yours, someone w/ mild autism

imago, Monday, 16 April 2018 15:35 (two months ago) Permalink

the only problem with that bit of writing is that autechre DOES contain emotion and feeling, but u neurotypicals don't get it I guess

imago, Monday, 16 April 2018 15:37 (two months ago) Permalink

hold me closer
neurodancer

morning wood truancy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 16 April 2018 15:47 (two months ago) Permalink

This Scottish newspaper employs some good arts writers, but its op-ed section is a joke...

http://www.heraldscotland.com/opinion/16169683.Brian_Beacom__Pulitzer_music_prize_judges_deserve_a_rap_on_the_knuckles/

Poor.Old.Tired.Horse. (Stew), Thursday, 19 April 2018 09:34 (two months ago) Permalink

That might be the worst piece of music writing ever.

Eyeball Kicks, Thursday, 19 April 2018 09:58 (two months ago) Permalink

Jesus christ

lbi's life of limitless european glamour (Le Bateau Ivre), Thursday, 19 April 2018 10:02 (two months ago) Permalink

some excellent Scruton-ising there, it's a load of (c)rap, innit?

calzino, Thursday, 19 April 2018 10:07 (two months ago) Permalink

all I see there is a campaign to give Limmy a Pulitzer, everything else was just padding

thirst trap your hare (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 19 April 2018 10:44 (two months ago) Permalink

I imagine Brian Bee Cum is about to have a slaughter in his menchies

like æ duce says, smell my anvil vapre (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, 19 April 2018 12:20 (two months ago) Permalink

High and low culture? Who is right when you recall Bob Dylan’s Nobel Prize for Literature last year, which caused a stooshie. “Lay lady lay, lay across my big brass bed,” may have acutely summed up man’s sexual imaginations but doesn’t quite compare with Steinbeck’s The Grapes of Wrath.

This is something of a self-own, considering that lyric could literally be a line of Steinbeck dialogue...

absorbed carol channing's powers & psyche (morrisp), Thursday, 19 April 2018 13:10 (two months ago) Permalink

I'd ask if anyone had any bets on how many previous music Pulitzer winners Beacom has listened to but you can't really bet on a certainty.

No purposes. Sounds. (Sund4r), Thursday, 19 April 2018 18:04 (two months ago) Permalink

https://www.savingcountrymusic.com/album-review-jason-aldeans-rearview-town/

should be easy to see why this review is both poorly written and reprehensible (i don't buy his excuses in the comments.)

omar little, Friday, 20 April 2018 18:55 (two months ago) Permalink

this dude

lowercase (eric), Friday, 20 April 2018 18:58 (two months ago) Permalink

including in some songs these strange feminine (or synthesized) sighs and calls like something you would hear in the soundtrack of a 90’s-era war strategy RPG or 1st-person shooter game

what, like warcraft? is jason aldean going zug-zug

aloha darkness my old friend (katherine), Friday, 20 April 2018 19:02 (two months ago) Permalink

the zerg queen doing background vocals

mh, Friday, 20 April 2018 19:15 (two months ago) Permalink

best phrase...

Among other fair criticisms...

...in which he critiques his own critique, and judges it to be a good, fair critique.

fact checking cuz, Friday, 20 April 2018 19:26 (two months ago) Permalink

new jason aldean single right here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RwWh1xy6gvU

aloha darkness my old friend (katherine), Friday, 20 April 2018 19:27 (two months ago) Permalink

There are a lot of provocative statements in here:
http://www.vulture.com/2018/05/rock-and-roll-hall-of-fame-artists-ranked-from-best-to-worst.html

aphoristical, Wednesday, 2 May 2018 22:31 (one month ago) Permalink

lots of discussion about that on the Pitchfork thread but it belongs here in the HOF

omar little, Wednesday, 2 May 2018 22:33 (one month ago) Permalink

ctrl f trump

lowercase (eric), Wednesday, 2 May 2018 22:39 (one month ago) Permalink

she really tried it

https://uproxx.com/music/taylor-swift-reputation-tour-legacy/amp/

maura, Wednesday, 9 May 2018 21:49 (one month ago) Permalink

Taylor Swift is my culture. Surely, I already knew that to some degree, but I never realized it more than when Reputation dropped late last fall. Unexpectedly in Norway that weekend, I was covering a small European music festival — or, I was supposed to be covering it. Friday morning, attendees kept attempting to communicate with me while I sat ensconced in puffy, pink Beats headphones I couldn’t bring myself to remove, wrapped up in the world of Reptuation.


wow

chilis=lyrics...hypocrits (sic), Wednesday, 9 May 2018 22:16 (one month ago) Permalink

"Waaahhh! I wrote a piece of sponsored content disguised as a personal essay and people called me an asshole for it - I'm just like Taylor Swift!"

grawlix (unperson), Wednesday, 9 May 2018 23:47 (one month ago) Permalink

That piece is better if you approach it as a satire of Taylor Swift's writing. i.e., making huge melodramatic emotional narratives out of small personal events that no one else should really give a shit about.

triggercut, Thursday, 10 May 2018 01:33 (one month ago) Permalink

i feel like writing about "small personal events that no one else should really give a shit about" describes a lot of good songwriting, but i'm not sure what that even means really so

lowercase (eric), Thursday, 10 May 2018 01:51 (one month ago) Permalink

@triggercut the author is not that self aware, trust

maura, Thursday, 10 May 2018 02:37 (one month ago) Permalink

eric: cf. Annie Dillard: "Write not about what you love most, but about what you alone love at all."

moresoupial (Ye Mad Puffin), Thursday, 10 May 2018 13:44 (one month ago) Permalink

in fact just keep a private journal because nobody else is going to seek out your opinions on the new tram cops record

Arch Bacon (rushomancy), Thursday, 10 May 2018 14:23 (one month ago) Permalink

otm

but i guess they have to submit some type of work to get paid

F# A# (∞), Thursday, 10 May 2018 17:15 (one month ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...

what's so bad about that?

alpine static, Thursday, 31 May 2018 04:05 (three weeks ago) Permalink

"My favorite way to listen to music is out in the world — walking to the grocery store or uphill to class, one earbud in and the other free to hear birds calling and insects buzzing."

Frozen CD, Sunday, 3 June 2018 17:27 (two weeks ago) Permalink


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