OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

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It's a screengrab from the pdf off the website! They didn't have a normal text version...

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:28 (eleven years ago) Permalink

can you link to the website? photobucket seems to be banned here.

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:29 (eleven years ago) Permalink

http://www.exepose.ex.ac.uk

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:30 (eleven years ago) Permalink

goes from strength to strength -- feeder mention is possibly the high point.

That one guy that quit, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:31 (eleven years ago) Permalink

System of a Down's top 20 single was six and a half years ago, fact fans.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:32 (eleven years ago) Permalink

"Recent developments in music have given Architechs a top 5 single"

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:33 (eleven years ago) Permalink

surely this can't be THE jonny garrett?

http://www.myspace.com/chasingfaces

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:33 (eleven years ago) Permalink

(yeah, they have a myspace already, the sellouts)

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:34 (eleven years ago) Permalink

I suspect it must be, StanM.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:34 (eleven years ago) Permalink

I assume, from their name that they like Snow Patrol and The Small Faces.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:35 (eleven years ago) Permalink

um, holding up articles by students as examples of 'bad music writing'? talk about shooting fish in a barrel. Matt DC OTM.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:35 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Following in the footsteps of West Country acts like Muse and Thirteen Senses by already winning over interest from various major and independent record labels, things are definitely looking good for the boys. Having recently been asked to support New Zealand favourites The Checks who have just finished touring with the likes of JET and Oasis.

"I know someone who knows someone who knows the guy from Young Heart Attack quite well"

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (eleven years ago) Permalink

blueski and Matt DC offtm, this is the new web2.0 media era, we're all critics now, user provided content is the new professionally written content.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Even in the realm of student media this is BAAAAAAAAD though, Steve - I flick through Exepose every week and this is BY FAR the worst thing I've ever seen in it; hence not starting a thread every week.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:37 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Haha I used to write for that paper. I wonder how long before he Googles his own name and finds it.

Matt DC, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:39 (eleven years ago) Permalink

It would be so wonderful if he googled this thread and responded. What an utterly thrilling discussion and exchange of views that could lead to.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:40 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Hey, with any luck he might hop over to ILE and start posting about his sex life or something.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:41 (eleven years ago) Permalink

(my question: is the article motivated by his own band possibly signing to a major soon?)

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:42 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Maybe I should unleash the views of Chris Erasmus at you all?

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:42 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Haha, yeah, I'd imagine so, StanM.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:43 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Hello Jonny's mom! No, he hasn't posted about his sex life yet. Try again later. Bye, ILX.

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:43 (eleven years ago) Permalink

blueski and Matt DC offtm, this is the new web2.0 media era, we're all critics now, user provided content is the new professionally written content.

-- Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (11 minutes ago) Link

Dom is entirely correct here. I mean, the chuckle factor is diminished by him being a student, but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

sanskrit, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:54 (eleven years ago) Permalink

also why do nearly all student newspaper writers write in what feels like the same voice? there's certain syntax and word choices that only student newspapers ever seem to have.

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:59 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Nobody knows how to sub-edit when they're 21, that's why.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:03 (eleven years ago) Permalink

^^not unrelated to why writers in the say, New York Times tend to sound the same. for that matter, ever read Blender? Despite the bylines it seems to be written by one many-armed poprockbot.

m coleman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:04 (eleven years ago) Permalink

that really is quite incredible.

jed_, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:07 (eleven years ago) Permalink

New York Times doesn't have sub-editors? That's crazy!

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:08 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Hey Jonny, your band fucking suck.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:10 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Jonny Garrett of Exeter University, that is.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:11 (eleven years ago) Permalink

I think you mean <a href="OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?;>Jonny Garrett</a> of Exeter University.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:14 (eleven years ago) Permalink

BOO HTML

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:14 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Kudos on sticking it to Westlife, tho, Jonny Garrett of Exeter University. Those bastards have had it their own way for too long.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:15 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Does Westlife even exist anymore?

Tuomas, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:16 (eleven years ago) Permalink

highlights:

"...bands like westlife who can, quite frankly, go screw themselves with a rusty spoon and get tetanus"

"had nirvana not signed to sub pop... we would probably never have heard one of the most influential artists of our time and dave grohl may have never founded the foo fighters."

the pathos!

jed_, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:17 (eleven years ago) Permalink

but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

democratization of criticism = people slagging this shit off just because they can rather than for any constructive cause. it's just easy target practice, who gives a shit? no-one/nothing is ever going to stop under-grads inheriting these absurd ideas about 'how things should be' in the music industry. surely we've all read this same article many times in the past.

i'm just more relieved than ever my music writing from college days was too soon for blog-era internet heh.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:19 (eleven years ago) Permalink

"had nirvana not signed to sub pop... we would probably never have heard of..." Sub Pop.

NickB, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Was there ever a thread for people to post their own abysmal juvenile music writings from uni days?

Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Not that I'd post on it, my capsule reviews of Kinesis singles were all fuckin bang-on.

Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (eleven years ago) Permalink

perhaps one day i will post my 8/10 track by track review of 'Be Here Now' from the time.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:24 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Yeah, you real writers are all jealous that you've lost the ability to write like that, aren't you?

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:26 (eleven years ago) Permalink

I wrote a two-part article in my uni paper called "Rhythm & Sound", which basically stated that all rock music that's based on melody or lyrics is boring crap, and that beats and sound are the essential components of good music - hence electronic dance music (and fusion jazz) is the best music there is. I got some angry comments from the indie kids.

Tuomas, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:27 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Kudos on sticking it to Westlife, tho, Jonny Garrett of Exeter University.

and kudos to you lot for bravely and relentlessly going after such a signifivcant target as jonny garrett. sure showed him!

ts being one of many thick students w/ bad music taste who can't write, vs being someone who actually gives a shit about what said student writes in some minor student rag

or, matt'n'steve otm, u r all losers

lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:27 (eleven years ago) Permalink

but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

student newspapers have nothing to do with the "democratization of criticism"

Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:28 (eleven years ago) Permalink

I can't copy and paste from the Exeter Expose, but if you Google you can find a review where our Jonny talks about "Indy music".

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:28 (eleven years ago) Permalink

also why do nearly all student newspaper writers write in what feels like the same voice? there's certain syntax and word choices that only student newspapers ever seem to have.

paul please, please tell me you don't actually care about the answer to this

lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:29 (eleven years ago) Permalink

paul please, please tell me you don't actually care about the answer to this

-- lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:29 (58 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

http://downloadsimpsons.com/files/malibu_stacy.jpg

"Thinking too much gives you wrinkles"

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:31 (eleven years ago) Permalink

haaaaaa

Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:33 (eleven years ago) Permalink

come on everyone, geir gives himself away in the final parentheses.

Frogman Henry, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:34 (eleven years ago) Permalink

ha. not sure i care as such! a while back i had a job gathering information on universities, i found it kind of funny that you can go anywhere in the country and every student newspapers seems to be written by the same person. it sort of interests me to know who, if anyone, they are imitating. if my current job was more interesting this issue would, i think, seem rather less pressing.

xp

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:35 (eleven years ago) Permalink

i love the line about nirvana: nirvana's main block to future gold albums was kurt cobain's inability to accept the "popular culture lifestyle he was made to live", nothing about JUNKIE SUICIDE.

Frogman Henry, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:37 (eleven years ago) Permalink

i think charles manson has been successfully cancelled

dub pilates (rushomancy), Sunday, 18 November 2018 21:12 (three weeks ago) Permalink

she is still straight up playing Gary Glitter songs

FREE MIKE LEANDER

Bing The Mighty Seat (sic), Sunday, 18 November 2018 21:56 (three weeks ago) Permalink

wait, Paul McCartney hasn't played She's Leaving Home since 2003, maybe Mike Leander is cancelled (even more so than cancered)

Bing The Mighty Seat (sic), Sunday, 18 November 2018 21:58 (three weeks ago) Permalink

WTF @ this “cancelled” bullshit.

Mr. Snrub, Sunday, 18 November 2018 23:43 (three weeks ago) Permalink

You know who else's early branding would be considered offensive by today's standards? pic.twitter.com/7bGFZTu4vT

— Jeremy Gordon (@jeremypgordon) November 18, 2018

maura, Monday, 19 November 2018 18:12 (three weeks ago) Permalink

....... vice isn't exactly virtuous!!

I forgot her name, not trying to be funny, Veronica something? (map), Monday, 19 November 2018 19:02 (three weeks ago) Permalink

Sadly, Dos & Don'ts Have Been Problematic This Whole Time

pomenitul, Monday, 19 November 2018 19:03 (three weeks ago) Permalink

It is a really fascinating irony

Never changed username before (cardamon), Tuesday, 20 November 2018 02:38 (three weeks ago) Permalink

Wonder if that links to a broader problem: as all culture is mongrel, you can't criticise cultural appropriation from a position of innocence

Never changed username before (cardamon), Tuesday, 20 November 2018 02:43 (three weeks ago) Permalink

why ppl in the west have always been drawn to classical antiquity revivals, positioning themselves as new athenses/romes iirc

j., Tuesday, 20 November 2018 03:25 (three weeks ago) Permalink

ftr i wasn't trying to be sarcastic i was just making a dumb joke. vice is actively racist trash that is a lot more than 'compromised like we all are' or whatever. cultural exploitation is lame. arguments in defense of it sound like trickle-down economics to me. that being said i don't really want to read an article about gwen stefani doing it written by a newly woke twenty-something for vice dot com but best of luck to that person u no.

macropuente (map), Tuesday, 20 November 2018 03:39 (three weeks ago) Permalink

We're going to fight like fuck to have Gwen Stefani recognised as problematic.

triggercut, Tuesday, 20 November 2018 05:10 (three weeks ago) Permalink

What the hell is this, from LA Weekly

Blackbear is more than just a musician. He is one of the most talented, hard-working, dedicated and strong artists to enter the studio. Aside from his ability to create hit records seemingly effortlessly, it’s his real-life experiences battling anxiety and substance abuse that he bravely recounts through his lyrics. Records like “Anxiety” and “If I Could I Would Feel Nothing” give hope and strength, allowing his growing fan base to not only relate but to find comfort.

Real name Matthew Musto celebrates many successes, including three independent albums and sold-out shows across the world. In 2017, he landed his first placement on the Billboard Hot 100 with “Do Re Mi” from Digital Druglord, with the remix featuring Gucci Mane accumulating 88 million views on YouTube and counting.

Now at 27 years old and in the best headspace he’s been in for a long time, Blackbear plans to take his already flourishing career to the next level. With his forthcoming project titled Anonymous coming on Valentine’s Day, fans can look forward to some of his best work yet

I guess LA Weekly is the one that was bought out by a secret ownership group and they fired all the writers? It shows.

Guayaquil (eephus!), Monday, 26 November 2018 17:10 (two weeks ago) Permalink

Now at 27 years old and in the best headspace he’s been in for a long time,

is the writer his therapist?

I like queer. You like queer, senator? (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 26 November 2018 17:12 (two weeks ago) Permalink

Reads like a copy-paste job from a PR kit, and probably is.

triggercut, Monday, 26 November 2018 17:14 (two weeks ago) Permalink

Signed: Matthew T. Musto.

pomenitul, Monday, 26 November 2018 17:17 (two weeks ago) Permalink

Real name Matthew Musto celebrates many successes

jmm, Monday, 26 November 2018 17:19 (two weeks ago) Permalink

I guess LA Weekly is the one that was bought out by a secret ownership group and they fired all the writers? It shows.

Yes, they recently appointed a new PR guy who immediately put another of his own businesses on the cover.

Bing The Mighty Seat (sic), Monday, 26 November 2018 19:03 (two weeks ago) Permalink

same writer

Poppy is a surreal yet intriguing artist. One look at her Instagram, which boasts an impressive 770,000 followers, and willing participants are sucked into a wormhole. Aside from the damn near perfect still photos, her page contains videos that will have you screaming “Who is Poppy?” and wanting to know more.

The artist, real name Moriah Rose Pereira, is a one-off who sings, dances and creates art on the daily. The welcome page of her website reads, “Are you ready for your salvation?” With statements like “Robots are going to take over the world,” this divine creature is intriguing.

President Keyes, Monday, 26 November 2018 19:14 (two weeks ago) Permalink

lmao ^^

"is a one-off" ?

alpine static, Monday, 26 November 2018 23:33 (two weeks ago) Permalink

unique, broke the mold, etc

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Monday, 26 November 2018 23:46 (two weeks ago) Permalink

surreal yet intriguing

I like queer. You like queer, senator? (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 26 November 2018 23:48 (two weeks ago) Permalink

xpost: is that a generally accepted definition of "one-off"?

honestly, that LAWeekly is publishing stuff like Keyes posted is super sad. guess i should pitch in on that thing Jeff Weiss (and others, I'm sure) has been pushing on Twitter.

alpine static, Monday, 26 November 2018 23:58 (two weeks ago) Permalink

speaking of la weekly

Discovered tonight that a critic who was "dragged" a few years ago for writing a sexist column has rebranded as an explicitly conservative writer (but not MAGA, of course) -- amazing to witness a grift hatch in real-time

— Jeremy Gordon (@jeremypgordon) November 27, 2018



art tavana come on down

maura, Tuesday, 27 November 2018 03:49 (two weeks ago) Permalink

I don't want to bag on the LA Weekly writer I quoted by name because I assume she's a struggling young person who has to produce these pieces by the dozen in 25 minutes each in order to scrape together a living wage. But there is some kind of special off-ness to the way those are written that goes beyond just "this was done in a hurry," I think, and I can't quite place it.

Guayaquil (eephus!), Tuesday, 27 November 2018 03:58 (two weeks ago) Permalink

it reads like a copy of a copy of someone else’s marketing copy

maura, Tuesday, 27 November 2018 04:05 (two weeks ago) Permalink

editors would help

maura, Tuesday, 27 November 2018 04:05 (two weeks ago) Permalink

they'd help drive up costs you mean!!!

j., Tuesday, 27 November 2018 04:12 (two weeks ago) Permalink

it reads like a copy of a copy of someone else’s marketing copy

Yeah, I was gonna say — it reads like a bad high school or college newspaper piece, Google-translated to another language and then back to English.

my guitar friend wants his money (morrisp), Tuesday, 27 November 2018 04:30 (two weeks ago) Permalink

the naked careerism of some of the longtime L.A. Weekly folks who were deigned worthy enough to stick around is pretty off-putting, but those weren't the writers i used to like there.

omar little, Tuesday, 27 November 2018 04:40 (two weeks ago) Permalink

I wouldn't have ever put Falling James and 'naked careerism' in the same sentence.

wronger than 100 geir posts (MacDara), Tuesday, 27 November 2018 08:49 (two weeks ago) Permalink

Via the Belle and Sebastian thread (and Wikipedia), I discovered this now-deleted OG Pitchfork gem:

https://web.archive.org/web/20030604193859/http://pitchforkmedia.com/record-reviews/b/belle-and-sebastian/boy-with-the-arab-strap.shtml

whatever an Arab Strap is, it should be used to batten down the crap song hatch

my guitar friend wants his money (morrisp), Tuesday, 27 November 2018 14:49 (two weeks ago) Permalink

That's an awesome review that doesn't deserve to be mentioned in this thread. J@son Jos3ph3s is still active on twitter, btw.

the word dog doesn't bark (anagram), Tuesday, 27 November 2018 14:57 (two weeks ago) Permalink

"awesome" is pushing it, "lazy" and "by the numbers" is a better description

but yes, it doesn't belong on this thread

mark s, Tuesday, 27 November 2018 15:00 (two weeks ago) Permalink

I give the review a 5.9

Evan, Tuesday, 27 November 2018 15:02 (two weeks ago) Permalink

I give it a... 0.8

my guitar friend wants his money (morrisp), Tuesday, 27 November 2018 15:08 (two weeks ago) Permalink

They always used to slag off popular albums. Their policy in those days was pretty much “If you’ve heard of it, it must not be very good.” I guess it helped get clicks though.

Mr. Snrub, Wednesday, 28 November 2018 00:54 (two weeks ago) Permalink

Their policy in those days was pretty much “If you’ve heard of it, it must not be very good.”

What webcomic do you write for with this idea?

5th Ward Weeaboo (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 01:05 (two weeks ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...

Hologram Concerts Don't Suck, You're Just a Hater

professional troll Eve Peyser goes to a show where a video recording of a Roy Orbison impersonator with a CGI Roy Orbison face stuck on him is projected in front of an orchestra, just like the real Orbison played with

sans lep (sic), Wednesday, 12 December 2018 21:53 (two days ago) Permalink

but is there holographic clingfilm

aloha darkness my old friend (katherine), Wednesday, 12 December 2018 21:56 (two days ago) Permalink

holografanfic

sans lep (sic), Wednesday, 12 December 2018 22:05 (two days ago) Permalink

she really capitalized on that bari weiss kissyfest huh

maura, Thursday, 13 December 2018 14:07 (yesterday) Permalink

she's having quite a year

resident hack (Simon H.), Thursday, 13 December 2018 14:27 (yesterday) Permalink

very excited to not know who this is, thank you for not linking sic

rob, Thursday, 13 December 2018 15:55 (yesterday) Permalink

Twitter things you def need to care about for 5 seconds

We were never Breeting Borting (President Keyes), Thursday, 13 December 2018 17:02 (yesterday) Permalink


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